Psychological Issues #13

Gone for 15 minutes.

>>35835980

Back. From originality.

Previous threads. I've only saved links from 8 onwards. I guess that means everything is saved somewhere.

8
>>35716442

9
>>35740738

10
http://boards.4chan.org/r9k/thread/35763440#top

11
>>35777773

12
>>35803625

Nobody tonight?

>>35835561
fuck off CIA
batman origins

>>35836912

Paranoia? Why would the CIA care about posts on mental issues?

>>35835561
I have a schizophrenic mother, a non pervasive autistic sister and a father with aspergers and we live in destitution over other people defrauding my family out of millions of dollars because of my parents social incompetence. I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with depression but I suspect that I have a combination of bipolar disorder, schizoid affective disorder, aspergers, mixed in with my suicidal tendencies. Since my family is Catholic, I grew up with a deep obsession with God and the afterlife, perhaps as a coping mechanism to escape away from my bleak situation. I developed two egregores that live inside me using biblical texts and my understanding of psychology to give myself two friends, one that I call God, and the other that we call Lucifer. I end up playing poking games for hours on end with both my Lucifer and God egregores, by allowing them to take control over my waking conciousness to play their hands in their turn while being self aware that this is an utter waste of time.

But here's where it gets odd. The Lucifer egregore always gets the best hand in every game we play and it isn't physically feasible in any sense of the word for it to happen, but ironically, the God egregore always wins with me playing against Lucifer at common times for second place.

So now I'm at the point where I have both God and Lucifer hanging out as roommates inside my head, while I believe the whole situation to be as a defense mechanism and that I do suffer from all those aforementioned disabilities I listed earlier on in this blog post, but then again, the absolute weirdness of my situation can't be scientifically or medically measured.

A few months back I told God if he was real he would send a sign to show me the truth. 5 minutes later I get ran over by a van without sustaining a single scratch even though an out of the ordinary occurance of that nature can prove fatal to most.

>>35837769

Are you seeing a therapists nowadays?

>>35835561
Stephen here, I have a minor psychological problem at the moment.
I'm really tired right now, but not sleep tired, since I've had the appropriate amount of sleep.
I'm not sure what it is, and even caffeine isn't helping much since that only really works with sleep-tired. Part of it is that I feel pretty bored, and I can't get horny while in this state, and typing this is more difficult than usual. I'm pretty sure it's not a food problem since I've had plenty of food today, and had lots of spinach yesterday. I don't feel bad or good per say, just mentally tired. I'm not really physically tired though, since I did some push-ups earlier pretty easily, and can walk quickly without getting physically tired.
Any ideas to what's happening?
I've been like this for a few days.

>>35837904
I'm not, nor am I medicated which is problematic. It's not like I can be at liberty to speak about what I am experiencing to any therapist who would classify me as a schizophrenic and put me on a toxic regimine of seraquel.

"I asked my God egregore to send me a sign if he was real, and I got hit and ran over by a van and didn't sustain a single scratch" would be taken as, Im either making up the story, or I put myself in harm's way to get ran over by a van which would be postulated by my suicidal tendencies, but all of the latter doesn't hold true although a psychiatrist would feasibly find weight to their diagnostic conclusions.

So how can I go to a therapist if I would deliberetly lie to them knowing they would misdiagnose me regardless if I speak the truth or not?

>>35838030

Does it feel like you're "distant" from everything?

>>35838050
>I got hit and ran over by a van

Did the driver come out? What happened?

>>35836983
How to deal with Paranoia? I'm not diagnosed, but I feel like I'm paranoid af like you tell me "hey you're nice", I say yes thanks but in reailty what I think is:

- why is he telling me this?
- maybe he's making fun of me

And things like these.

>>35838030
Do you smoke cigarettes? If so, that's probably why. If not, you have a seratonin deficiency and need to increase your diet of seratonin enriched foods. Overload on it by eating an assortment of nuts, fruits, water, fish, in a single setting and you should feel an instant boost of natural energy.

>>35838098

Any other symptoms?

>>35838140
Uhm I don't know how to explain it at all, but another example, let's suppose we both are talking via sms, but you don't respond to my messages yet, then I'm start thinking, "he hates me, he's tired of being my friend, he's deleted me, he has someone better than me..."


I'm bad explaining, sorry

>>35838081
No, he darted off after I got up. I was taken to the hospital after a passerby notified law enforcement but I left after a half hour when I didn't sustain any whiplash or contusions.

>>35838105
Nope, no drugs beside caffeine, and I only drank some today, I rarely drink coffee. I'll try the water fruit and nuts to see if that helps.

Also, last week, during a span of about 4 days I was unusually hungry during the evening times, and was able to eat twice the normal amount of food I usually eat and was still hungry afterwards. (I'm skinny so this is rare.) I felt so good after eating it, how do I make it so that always happens?

>>35838199

I didn't need more.

I recommend reading the BPD symptoms in the link provided. I expect you may have 2 or 3 traits or so, but who knows. The thoughts you have are very BPD and makes life very difficult for you. I have traits like this too. It gets worse when I'm sad.

I feel you, Pez.

>>35838060
Umm, I'm not sure. I was still able to concentrate in class as well as usual, so I'm not sure.

>>35838205

Glad you were OK.

There's a LOT in your family to unravel, and within yourself.

I'm not too convinced with the autism claims; are these official diagnoses? Or yours?

>>35838290

Did you feel like the world was less real or that you were less real?

>>35838425
Umm, neither I guess, It's no different than usual I think.
It might just be a nutritional issue like that other guy mentioned, so I'll check to see if that helps.

>>35838244

There's three chemicals that your brain produces that regulates your mood and energy levels which are seratonin, oxytocin and dopamine. Since you mentioned that you are skinny, you probably don't eat enough foods enriched with these chemicals and by the off chance that you do, you instantly feel a lot better. If you changed your diet to target more foods that inhibit your mood and energy you will always feel that surge of positivity every time you eat it. You can google list of foods enriched with seratonin, dopamine or seratonin for you to add onto your diet and it's all considerably cheap.

If im feeling down I'll eat something like 5 apples, 2 cans of tuna, a bowel of walnuts, 3 celery sticks, 2 carrots and scarf it down with a huge cup of lemon tea or chamomile and I'll automatically feel this surge of energy and positivity, which can be overwhelming at times.

>>35838490

What is different from the usual?

>>35838495

Which foods contain serotonin?

>>35838510
I feel like very low-energy, I can't get horny, and my mental processes seem to not be operating at the usual level.

>>35838305
Thanks a lot. The diagnosis of my sister is real, but the expanse of taking care of her and my schizophrenic mother has left me and my father with a hefty tole of constantly taking care of them, which is a 24/7 engagement. My suspicions with myself comes from the fact that people can unconsciously develop disorders through osmosis if they're constantly in that environment, and it's not like I have too many opportunities to be in healthier situations over the fact that I'm too busy playing caregiver to my disabled family.

>>35838495
For food my options are limited, but will a tuna sub, and some vending machine peanuts + water be enough? And maybe some fruit if I'm still hungry?

>>35838594

How long does that last?

fefefewffqfqfq

>>35838527
Cereals, whole grains, potatoes, pork, liver, kidney beans, chicken, bananas, peanuts, eggs, mushrooms, watermelon, grapefruit, shellfish can all produce seratonin.

>>35838626

Agreed, but you don't develop autism from being around autists. Having a schizo mother will definitely prime you up for some trouble too. This is how BPD and NPD "procreate" as well, and I know for a fact that many confuse the Asp with NPD, as I used to with my own father.

So your sister was diagnosed by a doctor? With what exactly?

>>35838686

Just to be sure, you don't actually think serotonin is in these foods, right?

>>35838628

That probably won't be enough, but it's definitely a good start in the right direction

>>35835561
I feel extremely empty and have constant depersonalisation. it gets worse when i go outside. i also have some anxiety/paranoia. it feels like i'm acting when i'm around people. i feel very uncomfortable around groups like i'm just there as an observer. my mind is so blank.
what do?

File: goodbye-i-will-always-love-you.png (495KB, 600x700px) Image search: [Google]

495KB, 600x700px

>>35838736

Read the links I have provided.

You may have C-PTSD.

Depersonalisation happens when anxiety is too much, it's your brain disconnecting.

I recommend reading a book called Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers. It's a great read and you'll know how stress works on the inside.

It'll help knowing what happens. There's a lot more to do, but I must sleep now.

I hope to see you around.

There's always my e-mail: [email protected]

Reading your threads causes me to go through all kinds of painful cognitive dissonance.

I try to post in them all of the time but every time I stop because you ask me to think about my past and that is something that I resolutely refuse (and may be unable) to do.

I feel like events in my memory are getting warped by the suggestions you're making and it makes me severely uncomfortable and yet I feel compelled to hear what you have to say and I appear to be trying to rationalize that you're acting in good faith.

What would you say is going on here? If you're not doing this on purpose, what would you say attracts people with a very narrow set of issues to you?

>>35838962

Nick here. Writing from phone in bed. I'd say there are memories in your brain that you know are not nice.

Unlock them by digging. You wouldn't feel this way if there was nothing.

>>35839174
I've read pop science and seen in media, cases where suggesting trauma created false memories in mentally unstable people.

I feel like I've suffered from a perpetual victim syndrome my whole life. I didn't particularly feel like I was abused before and yet you suggest it to me and it feels as real as anything else.

I'm more inclined to believe I'm a lunatic experiencing a delusion.

>>35839219

I'm not suggesting any memories to you. If you remember it, something happened.

I feel like you want to think your memories are false. The truth is the way.

File: DELET THIS.png (95KB, 500x378px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 500x378px

fuck off nick

>hurr it;s ur parents fault
>u just need 2 be more positiv :) :) :)
>maybe u should talk to a therapist!

what are you a fucking first year psych major or some shit?

nobody listen to this idiot and see a real psychiatrist. stop feeding this beta faggot's freud-complex

>>35839283

U mad as hell

File: notanargument.jpg (518KB, 1275x1200px) Image search: [Google]

518KB, 1275x1200px

>>35839282
>I feel like you want to think your memories are false.
Of course I do. I would also feel that way if they were legitimately false though, no?
I'm being argumentative here, because obviously I'm skeptical; you're under no obligation to change my view, but in the past you've seemed to want to.
I need more than that.

>>35839319
I can't right now. I'd need more time and a way to type faster. Pick a name so I can remember you.

>>35839481
Fair enough. I used a screenname-ish thing on here but you can call me Teddy, it's easier to remember.

>>35839512
My bad, you had a name already.

what do you remember?

>>35839582
As far as I can remember I had great parents. I never wanted for anything. I was also always incredibly unhappy for reasons I was unable or articulate, or at least I wasn't listened to if I tried.

Phrases like they-never-laid-a-hand-on-me are indeed burned into my head though and you've suggested that because of things like this somehow I was tormented.

Since I can twist this to narcissistic ends in my dysfunctional brain to suggest that I'm not responsible for my own misery, I enjoy this interpretation in a sick self-pitying way.

I think I'm just perverting the past to try and justify why I'm such a lazy, degenerate piece of shit, though. I'm not sure that I have justification for being like this as much as I want someone to blame.

I'm sure I "should" see a psychiatrist but I'm a long-term hikki who is afraid of his own shadow and can probably suck it up and rot until the heart attack.

I was talking to a guy a year younger than me, we talked for quite a while and we flirted a lot even though I live in the U.K. and he lived in Texas. I'm a Christian but my biggest problem is porn, I hate looking at it, but I always succumb to it, he's a christian and also felt the same. I asked him out one day, he rejected because a long distance relationship would be hard, but he said if we knew each other in real life we would likely be dating a few months after I ask him out. My porn addiction was getting worse, and because I was retarded I sent him nudes and he felt immoral and wrong looking at them, he believes in sex after marriage. Because of my addiction, it's gotten to the point where I've ruined relationships because I was horny. I know this will be hard to answer, but how do I get out of being this emotional clingy wreck who relies on quick pleasure like porn to have escapism, even bringing it into real life events. My life is okay at the moment, have somewhat okay friendships even though I'm not super close to them, homework is okay, i don't have super shit self esteem, but I've relied on porn as my idea of relaxation since I started puberty, I couldn't get off to normal porn so it got to the point where I was getting off to kinky stuff. I've had therapists in the past for my aniexty and eating disorders , but I've always been too embarrassed to talk about my porn addiction. I've been so embarrassed by my sexuality that I've told my mum I'm asexual along with my closest friend that I'm asexual because I hate it

>>35839676
So much to say. I may fall asleep any minute. Just so you know.

you are not a piece of shit. This is not your fault. Read the link about abuse and its various forms.

File: image.jpg (30KB, 421x292px) Image search: [Google]

30KB, 421x292px

Been chronically depriving myself of sleep for years. Most of it was due to circumstances out of my control, but now it's just bad habits. Like, I generally get 3-4 hours of sleep a night and haven't gone to bed before 1am since 2013, and I have to get up typically at 7 to go to uni/work. The best is weekends when I stay up until 3/4 and wake up at noon

I've been feeling more and more... clouded, have episodes of derealization, I always feel at a loss for words even when I know exactly what I'm talking about, I've started misspelling things frequently, (I'm usually an immaculate speller) and I often feel like my consciousness is 'fracturing'. Like, I can tell that my brain processes are working somewhat smoothly as usual yet it's harder to integrate them together. Memory, critical thinking, language, sometimes vision, don't really seem to work in harmony any more.

What are the long term effects of this, can I repair it, and how do I force myself to fix myself? I always go into the day with the intent of going to bed super early, and the rare times I actually do it i toss and turn until 2am anyway. Send help

>>35839779
Unhealthy ideas about sex, maybe scared of "sin".

Think in a new way. Approach sex and pron as if nothing is wrong. See difference.

heard of emotional eating? Think emotional sexing. I can relate to that. Sorry for brutish English. On phone.

>>35839873

What keeps you up?

Sorry for incoming blogpost but it's not like I have anyone else to share this with.
I finally figured out why I was so hesitant to kill myself before. Why it was that I hated talking to people but felt a desire for people to like me.
It took me a long time to figure out, but the only thing I want is for people to remember me.
I know that isn't going to happen, but having realised that feels like a weight off myself. So from one anon to another, have some fun on me, eh?

>>35839903
I just can't tarnish my beliefs for sex, obviously I'm not gonna be celibate, I believe in sex after marriage, but I believe sex is a sacred gift from God and I feel like I'm being challenged as a horny teenager, but I'm giving into 10 minutes of pleasure rather than feeling emotionally stable and more "pure." I just hate porn and how there's no emotional connection to the person you're fucking yourself to, its just endless meaningless fucking and to me I don't think something like sex that can be exploited so easily is just coincidental, I think it is something that should be practised as if it is sacred - the absolute opposite of what I'm doing. I became christian a few months ago, to go into detail would be too long, but I follow the commandments to an extent in the sense that I see avoiding sin as a journey, so it's okay to make minor mistakes, but lust is a sin I have committed for too long and has even at some points warped my world view and seriously distracted me from real life, it's a disgusting fantasy.

>>35839943
When I actually try to sleep it's usually depressive/angry thoughts, ruminating about life, fantasizing, so on. Can't really turn the brain off.

Otherwise I just play video games or browse the internet, which is easier to control but like why bother because I'd just be buzzing with thoughts for hours anyway. And I've started doing it just to avoid tossing and turning over those depressive and angry thoughts as well.