/britfeel/

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>>34829012

First for Shipman

who else has got a cat on their lap?

>>34829074
>who else has got a cat on their lap?
I wish. I haven't seen my cat for months. He's with my parents.

>>34829024

He is, dare I say it, /ourdoc/?

>>34829012
Lads it would be a big hassle for my girlfriend to go to the reception of her company to get the valentines flowers I'm going to send her. She works in a massive building and it's about 15 minutes walk from her desk.

Should I just get them delivered to our flat so she can have them when she gets home?

I want to lick junlads cum out of azulads boipucci!

>>34829224

Yeah, just have them delivered to your flat. At least that way the speghetti potential is massively reduced.

>>34829224
>girlfriend
sounds like a question for normiebook

>>34829012
These farts are rotten lad, Im not sure how I can keep up with this diet if Im killing people as I walk.

>>34829252
Yeah she mostly works with old guys who would probably piss her off talking about them too.
>>34829269
But then she'd see the question. Plus no one really asks questions on there.

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>>34829093
thanks lad, i'll use a razor next time.
i was planning on hurting myself tonight, but i don't feel like doing it anymore. i suppose that's a good thing.
was 7 months clean up until last month.

>>34829085
it's hard to explain mate, i think it might be different for everyone.
the way i try to explain it is like this:
imagine you're trapped in a room with someone you absolutely hate, they're constantly hurling abuse at you and won't leave you alone and they're responsible for everything you hate about your life.
you're going to want to hurt that person, right?
well, imagine if that person you hate is you.

it feels so good to punish the person whose ruined your life, even if that person is yourself.
it's also strangely addictive, it gets to the point where you want to hurt yourself for any reason at all.
the pain doesn't feel like normal pain, it's "controlled" pain, it feels good in a weird way.

i wouldn't recommend you start though, it's a horrific path to go down.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut6D-1akP_w

this is the age of the train

Thinking about surprising my oneitis with flowers and chocolates at her work, gunna just let it all out there and then I think.

>>34829291
she KNOWS you're getting flowers, roasties expect it. it's nonnegotiable

>>34829325
She comes from a European country where they don't celebrate Valentines Day so I think she'll be pleasantly surprised.

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My doggo's being put down today lads.

>>34829391
Sorry to hear lad. I hope he had a long and happy life.

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>>34829243
Bit gay lad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCi04-BsqOI

Late night britfeel is cuteboys appreciation society.

>>34829500
she
She's roundabout 15, but I've only had her for the past 4

>>34829391
sorry to hear. im sure he or she had a wonderful life and is happy to have had you as an owner

>>34829391
never had a doggo, gunna get one though. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your doggo.

id adopt this doggo if i could
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e_cr7tbc7w

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>struggle to fap for weeks
>find some JAV that for some reason hits the spot
>fap for 3 days in a row

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>23yo soon
>still working in retail
>no degree
>no discernible skills

>>34829309
Love that shunter on the far right siding.

>>34829391
Hope it goes ok for you lad. Best of luck.

Watching Touch of Frost on ITV3 and feeling pretty comfy lads.

>>34829576
Why aren't you linking it? Share the goods with us buddy

>find a new sword
>die before I can pick it up
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>34829576
I'm assuming you have a thousand more days to get out of this 50 minute JAV

>>34829303
no worries lad.
glad you've decided not to hack your arm.
it is a lot cleaner with a razor blade i got a pack of 10 for like a quid odd from the supermarket one angry night after work
you've said it perfectly
>someone you absolutely hate, they're constantly hurling abuse at you and won't leave you alone and they're responsible for everything you hate about your life.
wew lad, got a couple of tears then. IKTF
i'm off to bed.
not because of this, fucking slavery alarm's gonna be going off at 04:45, gonna have a wank then sleepu
nighty night mate

>>34829724
Don't be silly. We all know you only fap to that 1 scene that really gets you going

>>34829596
23 is the hump year, so you'll accept your meaningless existence and get ready for the inevitable march of death

>>34829534
thanks lad but that's not helping me with the "oh god i could have loved her so much more" depression

>>34829571
you better love your dog man

>>34829620
I hope it goes okay but I haven't decided if I want to be there or if I should go to college

>>34829391
sorry to hear that lad :(

oregano soprano

>>34829733
g'night lad

>>34829690
Because its not very good and won't do anything for a lot of people.

SPZ-732

I've been fapping to CD on CD stuff for the last few months, so this is a slight improvement in normality

>>34829793
Be there for your puppers final moments. You'll regret it if you don't lads.

I shag dogs.

>>34829793
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOAcRKZxjy4

Be there with your dog man

I am genuinely looking forward waking up tired early tomorrow morning and eating a bowl of cornflakes that will me feel slightly ill because I managed to fuck up my tolerance to lactose.

Guess what.. I'm lying

>>34829913
>fuck up my tolerance to lactose
wut

>>34830163
if you don't drink any milk for a long time you can basically make yourself semi lactose intolerant.
thats why the majority of asians are because they don't really just drink milk as a beverage

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I'm looking for an Alexander that uses a lemon profile picture on facebook

I know you post here lad

>>34830246
yeah but does he post at 2 in the morning? i think you'd be better off asking during human hours

>>34830292
you're probably right, i'll be back tomorrow to find him

EVERY DAY UNTIL I GET MY MAN

>>34830246
say hypothetically this person happen to be in the thread, what would you business be, with the person in question

>>34830246
what the fuck you freak who are you?
don't you dare post anything about me or i'll fucking get you

I'm thinking about trying something for weight loss but I have the feeling it's absolute nonsense. It's called ultrasonic lip cavitation, and normally it costs 600 quid but for a limited time only, I could buy three sessions for the low, low price of 59 quid!

If something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. That said, if I write off the money and just take it as an adventure I kinda think it might be worth it. It feels like a shenanigan anyway.

Extremely unlikely, but anyone tried it before? Think I should go for it?

>>34830446
if it worked every fatty on the planet would have heard of it

>>34830446
mate. even if you lost the weight through this shite. you would gain it back again because you have a habbit of eating too much. discipline yourself, and get a new habbit of eating less. you will see real results after a while. be patient.

>>34830446
1) eat less
2) walk/run/cycle a bit everyday

that was hard

Should I get a study loan, move to the UK for my masters and stay there for a way better paying job than in my country? EU eastern european.

>>34830531
>>34830537
While your advice is sensible, I'm already doing it and I plan to stick to my diet. I'm just impatient and lack excitement in my life. I've made lifestyle changes already. The killer for me actually has been alcohol and I'm off that now.

>>34830508
They have, it's usually referred to as 'lunchtime lipo'.

Here's the fairly shady looking site if anyone's interested:
http://www.primehealthuk.co.uk/index.php/excellent_treatments/?k=:10::

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>>34830599
maybe?
>>34829576
i'm happy you are having a nice orgasm at least The boi slave doesn't get that anymore.
>>34830618
just eat less and save your money for a nice escort when you are happier.

>>34830599
r u a grill?! pls come to L O N D O N

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An anon did really questionable things to me last night

>>34830446
Count your calories you fatty dumb dumb. There's even apps which do all the hard work for you these days. Holy fuck you people drive me mad. It'd the easiest fucking thing there is to fix yet you fucks still can't do it.

>>34830618
snake oil m8
but do it if it makes you feel better

>>34830644
Why maybe?

>>34830651
N O
O

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i fucking love feet, lads
i'm terrified of getting a gf and finding out she has ugly feet

>>34830673
I already do, and I already have the app

>>34830691
That's about what I thought. I might go bungee jumping or something instead, though. I'm so bored with my life.

>>34830703
I'm terrified of getting a gf and finding out she has no feet.

>>34830731
its ok lad, you'll never get a gf

lads just come back from shagging a hot romanian escort i found on the internet and i think im addicted to escorts spent 250 already this month on getting my dick wet how do i stop?

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FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET
hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng

>>34830659
your the two weebs who met up?

give us the details, what actually happened did you both pound eachothers boipuccis?

>'rent are going away for the weekend
>house to myself
>really really wanna buy a gram of speed and get fucked
>I have a pre op assessment next tuesday
>if it's not good enough, my op will get pushed back
what would jesus do...
I could just get some acid

>>34830887
What's you op for?

>tfw somehow got a date for Valentine's using memes
>no idea what to do now
>looks like we're just going five guys
>also persuaded her to stay in an AirBnb with me on Saturday night because it costs no extra to have a second person and breakfast is included

How did I do this?

>>34831096
>got a date for Valentine's using memes
what? is she retarded?

>>34830882
We spent the day together and it was a bit awkward at the start but we got used to each other. Then we hugged for a bit and it got lewd We didn't do any buttstuff, that's too gay even for us

>>34831096
I wouldn't get too proud of yourself. You willmmess this up, I guarantee it.

>>34831091
tumor excision
it's time off work, so waheey

who else here puts off going to sleep because you know it's just going to start another day of misery

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Okay so which one of you autists was this?

https://youtu.be/rfKVKmqzCIs?t=24s

>>34831267
is it benign or do you have cancer

>>34831340
benign
if it was malignant I'd be pissed off at having to wait two months for the op

thanks for the concern

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Bump this
who are the patriots

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>>34832292
>accidentally stepped on my dog's foot once
>he yelled and freaked out running away
>forever after that he moves when i'm stepping

i'm so sorry it's okay you don't have to move

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>>34832336
it's the worstest of feels
i stepped on my cats tail once and the noise she made
i'm so so so sorry catto ;_;

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJmvvZk4C1A

post your trainfus

>>34833354

144s are ugly AF, 142s are the sexiest pacers and everyone knows it

>heater off - too cold
>heater on - too warm

starving 3rd world niggers dont know what true problems feel like

>>34833354
I like the slow trains around here (South East). Used to read for an hour a day on them when I had college. Good memories.

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fucking early starts eh.i forgot how bad they are.
let's have a i hate early mornings, angry waifu call
and bumping the thread of course

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>>34832389
little catto is always getting under my feet. stood on the little fella a few times. not a good feeling

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page 4 already. slips breddy quick. i'll talk to myself a little bit and keep the thread alive.
ooo shall i post a cheeky cute 2D for bumperino purposes

>>34834501
It will pick up in the morning, no one is awake at this time excwpt a few losers, people like me coming im from nightshift and yanks.

/Int/ brit is best at this time

>>34834549
yeah i've faith it will pick up lad
bit mean calling people losers though.
and there's daft twats like me getting ready to start work.
fuck. i start in 35 mins.
good job i'm stoned eh.

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>>34834269
Posted.

Hope work isnt too bad lad.

Cant wait to see how they spin this to make Trump look like the bad guy.

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/766217/Donald-Trump-visit-John-Bercow-Commons-rant-stadium-speech

>>34834724
thanks mate
works not too bad really. what's bad is i forgot to do washing this weekend, so am rushing round the house in my boxers trying to find clothes that are cleanish. woops
oh well
it's off to work i go

>tfw 30 and listening to folk punk unironically
I dont know who is worse, me or the 30- somethings making it.

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page 7. good job i took my phone into work. bump time

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bump time again
slipping quick. but i'm still holding strong

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>>34836189
good work qt


>already 7am and i'm still not tired enough to sleep

>>34836651
but what time did you get up though lad.
>tfw, been up 2 hours and already day dreaming of bed. i'll reward myself with a nap this afternoon i think.

>>34836732
can't remember.. sometime around 5pm I think after sleeping 12hours

>>34836750
12 hrs lucky bugger. i do enjoy a good sleep myself.
only 3 hrs last night though. but will try for more tonight

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still bumping. on my break now. life of a lonely wagie in his favourite thread eh

>>34837354
What do you do for wageslavery mate?

what is it with cunts and collections
>at work, new shift
>just before christmas some fuck i don't know is retiring so there's a collection
>fair enough i'll chuck a few quid in for the fucker
>next a card goes around
>sign it cause i'm a good boy
>dear so and so don't know you but am being forced to fill in this card
good bants everyone says
i was just being honest
>fucking today comes
>so anon have you chipped in for the collection for so and so
>i thought that cunt left last year
>yeah but he's lost his wife
so now there's another collection for the same cunt i don't know. and card
>dear so and so,don't know you, didn't know you're wife but here i am being forced to fill out another fucking card.
that'll go down well eh?
fucking twats and there work place traditions
but am a good boy so will chip in and write a nice but totally faked message

Lads I think my dog is a paedo

He's never had any interest in adult dogs but every time we pass a puppy he vigorously tries to fuck it.

He just did it again this morning. Not sure what to do.

>>34837570
You pussy, just tell them to go away you don't give money to beggars.

>>34837514
just factory work.
make choc sweets for a living. well run the machines that pack em.
nice fun cleaning day today though. fucking filthy already looking like i've blacked up

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>>34834269
It's a regretting pretty much everything ever episode

>>34837616
b-but i am a pussy
i h-have trouble saying no and s-standing up for myself

>>34831164
Congratulations

Now fuck off normalscum

>>34837624
You got bigger plans for the future or just content to do that for a while?

>>34837651
Suck my dick then prettyboy, don't forget to lick the balls.

>>34837691
well not totally happy. got to deal with managers and do like shift handovers and stuff. no good at dealing with others face to face desu. but pays good. and i won't get anything better
>thick as fuck
>no gcse's
>no real skills
but yeah i'm ok here
the dream would be to get back to the neet life if i'm being honest senpai.
8 yrs as a wagie is getting quite tedious

>>34837763
n-no
b-but y-you can suck mine
p-please

>>34837785
You can't be that thick if you understand the glory of the neet life.

>>34837840
yeah but i left it and started working
so i am breddy thick lad.

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yaay. people are awake
sacrificing my phone battery to keep the thread alive has been worth it
doubt 23% will last the rest of my shift..if it dies before my next break. fuck it. it's been worth it.
fucking love you cunts

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maybe 1 last bump. still 16%.
and we're still dropping down the pages

morning, up for therapy. eating croissant, drinking coffee. got to think of something to talk about

>>34837812
go back across the channel you nonce

>>34838058
Tell them that you're a paedo.

That should spice things up a bit.

>>34838058
15mins b4 go time. onto a nice bowl of oats.

>been outta job for nearly 2 months now
>havent even bothered going back on the dole

just dont even know lads

Both bosses are of today. Means a fun day of not being harrassed constantly and posting on /britfeel/

no gods no masters desu senpai

>>34838229
finish it off with a nice cup of tea.
5 mins to get dressed then ring taxi.
30 minute taxi ride with nothing but grey and pakis. great way to start the day.

I only have 12% battery left and I finish work at 4 I don't know how I'm going to cope without 4chan

>>34838351
Don't you have any plug sockets at your workplace?

>>34838369
yes but I forgot my fucking charger

>>34838378
Borrow one from a colleague?

>>34838070
the fuck you going on about back accross the channel you fucking spaz

>>34838397
>talking to colleagues

risky

>>34829576
whats a jav?

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>>34838351
i'm on 6% now lad. been using it all this morn. thought i'd pop back 1 last time before it dies. 5% now. and no chance to charge it till i finish at 2
oh well. bye bye thread

>>34838461
I'm talking about you packing up your fucking bags and getting yourself back to FUCKING FRANCE which is where you belong.

>>34838351
This is why i'm glad I always prioritize my charger over something like lunch

>>34838522
the fuck you going on about back to france.
thick cunt. where the fuck have i mentioned france.

>>34838566
I can tell a frenchman when I see one, Pierre.

>>34838499
I've evolved to shitposting on my work computer. Feels pretty good.

>>34838591
apparantly you fucking can't lad.

Not sure what to do today lads, might just fuck about on some TF2

>>34838596
no chance of that for me. work in a factory computers are only connected to the work network no internet. not even allowed phones on us.
but do take mine down

>>34838602
Oh sorry lad I was sure you were french for a second there. Really sorry about being rude.

Honestly I was 100% convinced you were french and I don't know why. Just snapped out of it and realised what a fool I am being. Sorry again mate.

Alright lads

Haven't been here for a week, what did I miss

>>34838906
Are you up to date on high class call centres and their privileges such as kettle chips?

>>34838937
So nothing much then

>>34838992
Nothing at all. What did you expect

>tfw too poor to go bankrupt

>>34838906
Poleaboo has been charged with possession of child porn.

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If I wasn't listening to some upbeat music right now I'd be tying to fucking noose, lads! :D

>>34839172
https://youtu.be/rcqzrNOG2TA

>out walking my dog
>woman stops to pet him
>says hes gorgeous and she used to have two dogs
>"when me and my ex broke up he took the dogs and then sold them without telling me"
>"oh, thats...shite"
>look at each other for a moment
>"ok, bye"

fucked up another opportunity lads

My friend will be going to jail for several years. How different will he be on his return?

>>34839211
"Would you like him to fuck you so you can remember the good old times?"

She probably killed the dogs to get back at him

>>34839197

I like Limmy but I had to pause my music so now I@M FUCKING DYING

>>34839211

Well, it's better than what I'd have said:

>What a bastard. I don't really like dogs though I'm just walking these for my mum.

>>34839223

Aren't you mentally balanced.

>>34839211
Can't blame you for fucking it up there lad, she dropped a pretty heavy shell straight away and that can sour any moment. All you really could have done without it being awkward is call him a prick and feel bad for the puppers having that happen to em.

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It's a beautiful sunny day lads, why don't you go outside?

I'm going for a bike ride.

>>34839353

It's like five degrees and blowing a gale where I'm based. Also my bike's got a flat.

>>34839211

Should have called the ex a prick, girls like that sort of thing. Also he sounds like a prick.

>>34839353
Got uni work to do, don't have a bike, and there are builders at my house.

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>>34839353
I'll most likely take the doggo for a walk to the fields later and then relax at a small cafe nearby, luckily it wont be so busy on a monday.

>>34839353
I've already been for a bike ride this morning.

To work.

Kill me.

>>34839211
>woman stops to pet him
>"erm excuse me? what do you think you're doing"
>"oh um sorry it's just... my ex and our dogs..."
>give her a disapproving look and walk off

>>34839417
Good, lad. You told that bitch where to go. You have a dog, you don't need a gf.

>>34839417
That's exactly what would happen if one of us tried to pet some woman's dogs and gave her a stupid story about an ex.

>>34839211
>>34839417
>Man stops to pet woman's
>"Ugh get away from me!"
>"Sorry it's just...my ex and our dogs..."
>Dog bites man
>Police arrive, arrest man, give dog a medal
>Woman posts on social media "some creep tried to rape me today" and gets loads of sympathy and attention

>>34839082
how much debt do you have lad?

>tfw can't find v5 to sell my car

>34839211

this was entirely her being awkward

>>34839553

It will be about 30k by now but I've lost track honestly. I'm going to have to wait for a debt collectors to make me bankrupt, I think.

You can order a new V5 but you have to pay for it.

>>34839417
>>34839489
>>34839528

Well fortunately you never leave your hovel, so you'll never have to test these totally nonsensical theories.

>>34838058
we talked about impassable problems.

ie my hit genetics being the root of my self loathing.
I cant change my genetics so its an impassable problem.


>>34839353
>It's a beautiful sunny day lads
get fucked.

>>34839577
oh wait are you the guy that was posting about being 25k under before?

I know I pay for the V5 but I'm selling the car as spares anyway and I just want it gone

>>34839642
Never leave my hovel? I travel all over the world. I'm in Germany right now you dumb bitch.

>>34839704

No, he seemed to have his shit together whereas I'm going to have to deal with harassment from DCAs.

>>34839731
how did you rack up 30k of debt mate?

>>34839211
opportunity for what? bitch was coming on too strong.

Why are Londoners such cunts and why haven't we dropped a nuke on the place yet?

>>34839701
>He doesn't enjoy a nice stroll every now and again

I'm sick of winter desu senpai, looking forward to summer even though there'll be tons of normies out and bugs and loud music.

>>34839803
That's what happens in multicultural environments, social trust is lowered and hence people behave more "cunty".

>>34839803
London is the best part of the UK by far.

Just because you can't afford to live there doesn't mean you need to be butthurt about it.

>>34839803
I'm going there next week, feel free to nuke it on the day

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>Pensioners in the UK now have more income than the entire working age population.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-38948369

FUCK THE BOOMERS.

>>34839803
You'd be a cunt too if your home was turned into a series of ghettos

>>34839850
>after housing costs
Mate at least read it.

That FEELING upon when you have NO girlfriend, pretty crazy stuff huh, lads?

>>34839705
Whereabouts in Germany? Just got back from Munich myself

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will i ever be this happy with someone
probably not

>>34839859
>upon when

>>34839789

It took me years, most of it is from two loans that I took out to pay off credit card debt. I've been out of work for so long now that it's all caught up to me and now I've left it too late to even pay the 600 quid bankruptcy fee.

>>34839870
>you will never travel through parallel universes to kill every version of the roastie that turned you down

Sometimes I feel like anime is made for me.

>>34839867
Just outside Munich. Did you have fun?

>>34839883
Yeah, it's a nice city.

>>34839850
>FUCK THE BOOMERS.

Why? We should be richer, not trying to make them poorer, you halfwit.

>>34839905
I like it a lot. The cost-of-living and quality of life is pretty high. You can't beat getting a crate of excellent beer for less than ten quid.

I'm renting a flat in a place called Freising - really near the airport. My girlfriend and I work from home so we're just making our way around the world very slowly. I occasionally have to fly to meetings in London and New York so it's good to be near the airport.

>>34839875
I made an error of judgement and took out a credit card and I owe them 1200 now but I can't get any work at the moment because I don't have a car and I need money for that and I'm sort of stuck going around in circles

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>>34839850
>be old
>youngcucks taxes pay for all my weekly GP visits
>bought my house for 22k in 1985, now worth 220k
>have state pension, private pension and still have a job on the side.
>get free bus pass and many oldage discounts
>took my driving test 50 years ago and am now fucking awful and kind of a hazard to other drivers but there's no law forcing test retakes lol
>life expectancy rising every 4 years

Enjoy your flatsharing, potnoodles and endless depression smoothskins LEL

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>>34834269
well its early morning for me :^)
>>34839211
what were you supposed to say? what did she expect? was the story true? how would one ascertain these truths?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-38848528
good.

Can we get a round of applause for Snek anon who selflessly sacrificed his phone charge to keep the thread alive?

>Tfw brought a mango to read on the train but too embarrassed to read in front of colleague
Anybody got any good sites to read on mobile?

>>34839966

Pay then a pound a month if you can, that should shut them up for a bit.

>>34839353
Because it's so fucking windy.

I went to put some stuff in the bin and almost got whisked off to the land of Oz.

>>34839850
If I ever get old enough to be seriously ill by brains are being removed from my skull asap.

>>34839850
>People who work their entire lives and invest the money have more money than those with less investments

Who knew?

Law question. An officer can only proceed with entrapment if he can justify his motivations. But can a civilian fre arrange to entrap a criminal, the most obvious example being a sex offender, and then conduct citizen's arrest?

I'm fucked and I want to die.

>tfw you'll never not be a total fuck up

>>34840026
when people 67+ years old are EARNING more than the entire working age population something is fucked.

We're one of the only western nations where this is happening.

They're not retiring due to healthcare getting really good meaning they live longer and younger people can't move up the work ladder and take their place.

I often see 100's of applications for a single entry level minimum wage jobs.

The only people they had to compete with when they were young was other brits, now they have to compete with all the immigrants.

oh and there's the fact that the cost of living took a much smaller % of their income when they were our age.

>>34840098
They're not earning more you cuck. Read the fucking article.

>>34840150
I can't read though.

I'm sitting in my dad's flat listening to bbc radio 2; feeling comfy.

Hope you lads are having a good day

>>34840224
Has your dad given you a key?

>>34840235
No but i could get one if i asked. My dad let me in because builders are doing work at the house.

>>34840252
My dad still hasn't given me a place to his place, he's been there for 12 years and I'm 26. He tells me to think of it as my second home and that I'm welcome any time but is reluctant to give me a key.

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Back from my bike ride lads, found out there's a Vue cinema and a Mcdonalds only 10 minutes from my house. Might go for a cheeseburger and a movie next payday, sneak a bag of Doritos in with me.

Fucking schoolkids are such little shits, all the paths around the school I rode past were lined with smashed glass, don't seem to have got any punctures though.

>>34834925
IKTF lad don't worry about it, I'd say the people making it are more cringy since they have to channel teenage angst all the time

AJJ are GOAT tbqhwy

>>34840275
That is a bit odd. Maybe he feels uncomfortable because he thinks you might come into the flat at a time he is busy.

>>34839353
Just nipped out to buy some mince for burgers. Getting to be a dab hand at this burger business, might open a restaurant if I keep it up lol jk

Also popped in to see my estate agent about why he hasn't given me the paperwork for renewing my flat for another term, he keeps finding excuses and turning me away every time I go. Not having it this time, lads.

>>34840363
How do you deal with the smokiness, burgeranon?

I end up setting off my smoke alarm every time I cook burgers.

Not sure what to do
Might tidy my room but I get stressed because there's no space to move

>>34840359
Maybe. If I'm coming over he demands I give him plenty of notice and hates it if I just turn up, which I do out of spite now.

>>34840390
same right. people don't understand the psychological effect of living in a confined space.

>>34840372
Extractor fan at full whack, windows open. It still gets smoky, but my kitchen's detector is heat-based, not smoke-based, so unless something actually catches fire I'm fine.

But an old trick I learned for disarming smoke detectors is wrapping cling film around it or stretching a condom over it. I know a guy who uses the second one to get away with smoking in hotel rooms.

>>34840418
>stretching a condom over it.

Haha genius. Safe for buggering and burgering. I like your style. I'll need to try that next time.

>at a friends house
>one of his sister's friends needs a lift to work
>they've all been drinking and I got there half an hour ago
>I'm the only one who can give her a lift
>say I'll do it if she gives me a blowjob
>at first they think I'm joking
>she would rather get an uber and be late
>friend's sister says I'm rapey
>friend tells me I need to leave

Was I in the wrong?

>>34840397
Think that's it then lad. My dad spends most of the time at the house and normally only used the flat to sleep.

>>34840450
Yes

You rapey bastard

>>34840463
So what on earth is he getting up to that he doesn't want me barging in on?

>>34840465
how would that be rape assuming she's over 15?

>>34840450

Next time be joking

>>34840472
Banging prossies

>>34840450
Nope.

Fuck roasties who think they're entitled to favours and do nothing to pay you back. Fuck those faggots anon.

>>34840498
I don't think I was in the wrong though, and I don't think it was an unreasonable request either. Just a quick bit of head before I do her a favour.
I don't see why I should have to give her my time and what it costs me to run my car just for free.

>>34840450
At least you didn't dip your pride and do it for nothing, if you're going to do something for others then expect a little compensation.

>>34840450
She was never going to give you a blowjob for a lift. You'd have been best just saying no.

>>34840564
No harm in asking.

>>34840544
>>34840518
Yup I thought so, thanks guys.

>>34840575
Clearly there was harm in asking as you've now alienated at least three people, if not more.

how the hell do I rotate my dick back into the correct position?

>>34840593
How did you rotate it out of the correct position? Just do that in reverse

>>34840598
no idea mate but the slit and soft base are out of alignment by about 45 degrees

>>34840589
Oh wow, he alienated 3 freeloading faggots who expect free lifts to places and do nothing in return.

>>34840472
God knows lad. He might just like his privacy.

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What you having for breakfast lads?

>>34840616
What about his mate?

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>>34840637
>cereal in a mug
I'm glad i'm not the only one who does this, sometimes I even pour some of my coffee into the cereal to give it flavour

>>34840637
>Mug of coco pops for breakfast at 12:48

You're living the dream lad.

>>34840479
rapey != rapist

context would dictate that "rapey" means "putting forward unwanted sexual advances and not accepting that they're unwanted"

>>34840518
a mentally healthy individual would ask for petrol money, not sexual favours

>>34840575
>confirmation bias in action

>>34840575
>No harm in asking.
I don't think so either desu. theyre not children.

>>34840644
Fuck him, if he sides with the roasties he's not his mate is he.

>>34840644
He explained to me that night (yesterday), he thought it was fine and pretty alpha of me to say he just didn't want his sister getting into a huff. Might be a while until I can hang out at his again.

>>34840653
You absolute mad man. That does sound disgusting though coffee ice cream is nice and that's not a million miles away from cereal I guess.

>>34840661
>a mentally healthy individual would ask for petrol money, not sexual favours
Well anon's obviously not a normie is he? So he asked for a blowjob, even if he was serious and it wasn't ever gonna happen for him then so what they'll never ask for a lift again so he wins.

Context would dictate expecting people you barely know to do favours for you when you offer them nothing in return is also unwanted.

>>34840637
Holy shit why did I never think of that, that's fucking clever. Doing it right now.

I'm bored with life
What do you lads do all day?

>>34840699

That's the kind of outside the box thinking that only years of neethood can unlock.

>>34840702

Worry and masturbate

>>34840612
Fucking hell lad, hopefully it will just correct on its own

>>34840693
>Context would dictate expecting people you barely know to do favours for you when you offer them nothing in return is also unwanted.
I was pretty clear in not saying he shouldn't have expected something, I was explicit in saying there are a wealth of options within the realm of reasonableness outside of "give me succ", one of which being simply asking for the money you spend on getting her there

Despite being a NEET, I still find Mondays somewhat uncomfy.

>>34840693
Honestly its not all that bad, depending how much you put in.
I go light on the milk in both coffee and cereal for conserving reasons, but usually fill the mug of coffee to the edge, so pouring in a small amount over my cheerios will give it a zing and it balances out with the milk in an odd way. I'd say try it but my taste is subjectively weird so it may not be your style.

>>34840757
Despite being a wagecuck I find Mondays comfy, as I always have them off

>>34840757
same, I said to my therapist whats the difference between me sat here doing nothing with my life, and being stuck in a job doing nothing with my life.

>>34840757
I fucking love Mondays
>Wagies at their most depressed
>Wagies staying out of my way
2 truly fabulous feels.

>>34840777
What did your therapist say to that?

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Just applied for a part time night shift at B&Q, 9 quid an hour and only 24 hours a week sounds isn't a bad deal.

>>34840849
I wanna succ you

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WE NEED TO COOK

outdated reference blox

guys who get autismbux, how many times do you have to go for tests/checkups ?

>>34840839
nothing, he never does.

on one hand, money gives you more freedom to do the things you want.
on the other, what good is it if you work most your life.

>>34840905
You need to try to find a job that you can enjoy.

>>34840914
I don't think its statistically possible for everyone to be in the job they enjoy tho.

some people will have to do the shit/necessary jobs.

>>34829074
I love my cat but she makes me too fucking itchy to have on my lap.

Lads, I need some advice. I own my property outright, no mortgage and I'm 30. I'm never going to leave the house to anyone and would like to release some equity. What are my options?

>>34840924
Of course. But you need to position yourself so you can get into the job you enjoy.

I'm not trying to defend the way the world works. But none of us have the power to change it. All we can do is try to make sure that we're one of the winners and not one of the losers.

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>>34840969
>make sure that we're one of the winners and not one of the losers

Any plans for valentine's day tomorrow?

I'm going to watch lego batman by myself

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>>34840886
Red leicester is the best burger cheese. Can't be having with this "blue cheese on burgers" bollocks.

>>34841042
>>34840886
Unhealthy swine. I just made a lovely veg soup.

>>34829576
I found a similar one. I never bookmark porn but for that one it felt like my duty.

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>>34841054
There's enough room in the world for delicious and healthy to coexist. Today's lunch just happens to be one rather than the other.

Quick lads, help

Pot noodle
>or
Spaghetti and cheese

>>34829596
Where do you work anon and how do you get by on the pay? I feel like after a levels i will soon be following the same path as you due to autism and just want to know what it's like. If anyone else can give me any deets that would be much appreciated thanks

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>>34841054
>I just made a lovely veg soup

>>34841077
Bit too much cheese for me lad, otherwise looks fantastic. What else do you have on there? is that a spicy mayo I see?

>>34829913
Can you get your tolerance back?

I don't drink milk but occasionally I have a fuck-off sized milkshake that makes me feel slightly ill.

>>34841022
I'm going to the dentist to get frowned at

>>34841022
Going to take my gf out for a cheeky nando's, don't know why women love that place so much but whatever

>>34841098
Fried mushrooms, caramelised red onion, two gherkin slices and Hellman's chunky burger sauce, which is basically big mac sauce.

It was delicious and juicy.

>>34841087
Pot noodle, spaghetti and cheese sounds grim.

>>34841094
Fuck right off lad. Used leftover stock from last nights tagine, plus sweet potato, celeriac and that other vegetable that looks like a brain which I can't remember right now.

>>34841042
>he only has one type of cheese on burgers
peasant

Beans on toast master race.

Why do the sausage and beans taste weird lads? I never eat them anymore because of it.

>>34841123
Red leicester is the best, but in no way does that mean I only use one kind of cheese.

I just happen to object particularly strongly to blue cheese on burgers.

>>34830703
I'm terrified of getting a gf and finding out she has a roast beef pussy.

And I'm not a footfag, but those are some nice feet.

>>34841115
Pretty good lad. I wouldn't do the mushrooms, I'd put some jalapenos on instead. Also I'm a ketchup+mustard man, burger sauce always tastes slightly artificial to me. But I respect the effort a lot especially on a monday lunchtime. My lunch was just a simple salad with avocado but I'm going for a proper sausage and mash tonight.

>>34832389
>>34834316

My cat likes to walk directly under hot drinks I'm carrying, looking up at them to see what they are.

>>34841152
I'm normally with you on burger sauce, but this chunky bollocks is the real deal. Otherwise you can't beat the basic ketchup and mustard. Man of taste, you are.

Sausage and mash sounds top, lad. I hope you enjoy it. What kind of sausages did you get in?

>>34841183
Just a classic pork and herb banger lad, but they are from the butcher so they are particularly good.

>>34841223
Top stuff, lad. No need for poncy frilly bangers. All it needs now is a good gravy and some fried onions to pull it all together.

I wish you a happy dinner this evening.

What is the best radio station?

>>34841330

Resonance FM

>>34841330
Arrow

I love me some dadrock

>>34841330
The last one I listened to regularly was LBC. Most of the presenters were twats though, really opens your eyes to just how boring and thick most normies are when they're calling in to complain about Trump at 2am saying "HE'S GONNA GENOCIDE MUSLIMS, I HAVE A SOURCE".

>>34840450
Did they invite you over? Getting a lift may have been their intent from the start, in which case, fuck them.

>>34841330
Radio 6 Music is my go to if I ever listen to it.

>>34841022
Enjoy it, it's a great movie.

>>34841355
>>34841371
>>34841395
>>34841402

Thanks. Haven't listened to any of the ones you lads have mentioned. I was listening to radio 2 this morning and I thought it was alright. I want a radio station with good discussions. Radio 2 had a segment on prisons and it was pretty interesting. I have listened to radio 4 a few times and it can be alright

Pondering whether I should go and buy a bottle of whisky lads.

>>34841330
I listen to absolute radio and absolute 80s, the breakfast show is very entertaining.

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>>34841395
>"HE'S GONNA GENOCIDE MUSLIMS, I HAVE A SOURCE"
Because genociding Muslims is a bad thing?

Shows just how far gone and completely fucked the UK is. Muslim politicians threatening the "biggest protests ever" when and if Trump visits Birmingham.

I swear you guys are the biggest cucks for curry cock, let your Muslims do whatever the fuck they like. How many Sharia courts do you have now?

>>34841541
>How many Sharia courts do you have now?
28 I think. They're allowed because they're for "domestic" disputes. It's a load of shite

>>34841488
Go and buy a bag of weed instead.

>>34841541
Yeah you're right mate, we must be far gone and completely fucked if we're not supporting genocide. We were absolute cucks for fighting against the nazis in WW2 too.

Had a dream that I was lying outside my front door looking at the stars and then I went up into the stars and the stars became tiny pieces of paper that I was pulling out of a wall and there was a woman's voice in my ear saying a lot of random stuff then suddenly she screams "WHY DO YOU HATE YOURSELF SO MUCH!?" and then I woke up

>>34841571
>>34841541
I'm glad some of us get it.

>>34841541
Blame the liberals for consolidating cuckaroo policies. The liberal academics think we are being progressive by accepting all these culturally degenerate individuals into our country. We don't even expect them to follow our way of life. It's retarded.

>go to army recruitment centre
>tell the woman at the desk I want to be a better me
>she just laughs at me and tells me to lose some weight

>>34841488
The answer is no but you've probably made your mind up.

>>34841587
Why do you hate yourself so much though?

>>34841612

>tfw can't even join the army because I've had depression

>>34841554
Smoked all my weed last night. It's a 52 mile round trip to score nigger weed and it's a 1.2 mile round walk to the Tesco express.

>>34841587
Whose voice was it?
The one recurring dream I have now is of missing maths class or forgetting I'm even on the course. The weird thing is that I never missed a lesson or a homework.

>>34841541
Race war is a shit. Class war is the real deal. When are we getting that one.

>>34841623
If I was you, I'd get some beers today but order some weed from the darknet so you'll have some by the weekend.

>>34838642
ce bon mon amie
what had you convinced i was french. is it the lack of backbone, being a pussy and bowing down to all others. yeah tis pretty french actually. those french surrender monkeys

>>34841615
I don't know

>>34841626
If you've played The Stanley Parable, she sounded just like the female narrator in that one ending. Same urgency and everything.

I have that same dream too at least once a week even though I finished school 10 years ago

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>>34841571
>if we're not supporting genocide
Your politicians are supporting genocide, the genocide of the indigenous population. To hordes of rampaging Muzzies.

>>34841680
Is it because you are Alexander Jahans?

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>tfw a poof keeps trying to talk to you
Fuck off!

>>34841730
Yeah you're right mate, it's exactly the same thing.

>>34841732
Don't know who that is but I just googled him and I'm not that fat nor do I have a tiny head

>>34839980
no need for that desu, it was a sacrifice worth making lad, i know there's others like me that get anxious when there's no thread.so thought i'd keep it going while i had the chance. n got to post some cute aninu grils without getting whinged at so all is good. did get called french though which threw me. but it was fun
as for stuff to read, i've got some loomis pdf's to read, but desu if i'm on my phone i'm normally on here, don't really need it for owt else, if it's a long journey i'll pop music on but thankfully not much journeying in my life.

>Drank myself to sleep last night

Is this how it starts?

>>34841785
It's how it ends.

>>34841785
At least you didn't do it while driving.

>>34841797
I didn't even start with beer or cider I just immediately drank straight jager. I was walking down the street and an alcoholic woman asked me for directions and it was like looking into my future

Lads I'm in the market for extra-mature cheddar cheese. The offerings at Tesco, Aldi, Lidl, Asda, and Sainsburys simply aren't mature enough. Any brands I should keep an eye out for?

>>34841857
Go to waitrose and get the strength number 7 cornish cheddar. It's a bit pricey but good.

>>34841832
>straight jaeger
You're still small time, lad. That's student drink. Start worrying when you're brushing your teeth with a bottle of tesco basics gin.

>>34841882
I am a student after all so I think this is the beginning of the end

>>34841882
>tesco basics gin

Pff that's for basic alcoholics lad. Come back to me when you're doing special brew enemas.

>insurance values your car much higher than what you paid for it
>even with excess deducted, they're still giving me more than the actual value of my car
Can't complain desu, I only expected 200-300 quid

>>34841918
Not even remotely. It's just the middle of being a student.

You're not headed for alcoholism, you're just doing what students do. My advice though, drink spirits, not liqueurs. The extra sugar in liqueur makes for murderous hangovers.

>>34841873
Goes without saying at Waitrose. Cheers for the heads up, I may just treat myself to a small shop at Waitrose

>>34841959
Yeah but on top of the drinking I was crying

>>34841966
I love Waitrose. it's really annoying that there isn't one near me, their food is always fantastic.

I'm watching a guy eating lightbulbs at the moment. I don't know why he's doing this but he is.

Off to buy that bottle of whisky lads.

>>34842003
What type? If it's jack daniels just off yourself.

>>34842008
No a bottle of Bells taken NEET.

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>>34842003
What's your brand, lad?

>>34841994
How is he handling it?

>>34842050
you could say he was making "light" work of it

>>34842058
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Watt are you like

>>34842050
He's crying and screaming. So I'd say well.

>>34842032
a literal pedo

>>34842132
Never heard of that one. Must be an Irish brand.

what's the absolute cheapest way to get drunk, lads?
frosty jacks?

>>34842172
wine gums

rofl