How many girls have you asked out /r9k/?
I'm seriously considering asking a girl out for the first time tomorrow but I feel like my world is going to implode if she says no.
OP here. I've had this happen also twice in my life, but this girl obviously isn't going to make a move so I feel unless I make a move and get over it I'm going to be stuck in fantasy / regret mode until we stop seeing each other around for whatever reason.
Thank you, I really do need the encouragement.
I would like to post the context and receive some advice if anybody is willing to tell me if it's a good idea. A lot of people on here have said I'm autistic towards her which makes me upset.
About 54. I liked asking out whatever girl I thought I was cute. I got rejected every time and I never felt bad about it. I just kept going. Now that I have shame and have empathy, I think back about what I did and want to punch myself for not respect others more.
Never asked a girl out in my life or ever really been close to considering it. I dont ever talk to girls either unless im required to. I have had a couple girls i could tell looked at me all the time in class and one older girl in high school that asked me to hang out with her and her friends but i kind of brushed it off and made excuses everytime she asked.
Two times, both ended up in failure.
>tfw people say it gets better after the first time
>tfw it doesn't
>tfw after the 2nd time, I'm done for good
Good luck anon, be [ORIGINAL COMMENT]
Recently I was talking to this girl for a couple of weeks on facebook before I decided to ask her out. Turns out she has a boyfriend. She then messaged me later that night though and we still talk now. Better than nothing I g-guess.
Too many to count...decent number actually said yes. Wasnt till later that all the spaghetti was spilled.if she's into you it doesn't really matter what you say..or if she sees you're nervous. You got it man. Godspeed.
OP here. Could someone tell me whether me asking this girl out seems like a good idea or not please?
>work in an office complex
>very quiet and sit isolated from my colleagues
>eat alone on some steps nearby, she saw me at least once with her female colleague
>girl works on the floor above for a different company
>she enters my office two or three times a day to print something at the printer beside me
>looking at her would involve turning right around and if I said anything everyone would hear
>she asks me two questions on different occasions about finding stationary or something
>really cute smile
>google her name and find out on first page that she is into non-normie music I know a lot about and enjoy
>find out she attended a top college and is likely from a wealthy background (private school etc)
>her colleagues are from a similar background to her
>her boss is a guy two years older than we are and is tall, rich, from a wealthy family, privately educated and popular etc
>see her sometimes on the stairwell and make eye contact
>she doesn't come into work for two weeks recently
>finally see her as we pass near the bathroom and both (?) smile big goofy smiles (me at least) and say "Hey how're you" in passing
>I'm filling up a water glass
>she stands right by me to fill hers up
>turn to look at her but she just looks at me without expression as if asking what I'm looking at
>she fills her glass and rushes to some meeting or something
>haven't seen her since
I think she may have been somewhat curious about me at one point but may have become bored or indifferent by my apparent apathy by now.
My plan is the next time I pass her on the stairwell or something to say "hey, sorry if this is inappropriate but would you like to go out with me sometime?" in a calm, serious voice without smiling but without being too serious or autistic about it. If she says no my plan is to smile and say "No it's cool I understand, cya".
What do you guys think?
Ive only asked out 1
She wanted 20$ to go out with me. Gave up on trying then. I were retarded enough to think all of them would ask for money. That were in 5th grade. never tried again after that
>Got asked out 2 more times in HS
>See that 20$ fee turned into 100$ dating fees.
>Realized I were right.
You will be destroyed if she says no. But if you don't ask then its basically a no anyway so suck it up you weak ass faggot and put everything on the line
One. We had two dates and then it took me all my courage to ask her out, she was just surprised and said no. I mean we had dates where we went to the restaurant, we sat in the park and talked, I took her to the coast and we sat on a bench looking at the sea... and for her it was just things 2 friends would casually do.
She was a 3/10 but extremely smart and awesome personality, I really liked her. DESU I was probably the first guy to ever ask her out (she was 16) and that's why she was so surprised.
She stopped talking to me after that.
But I don't regret it, it gave me a confidence boost.
honestly my autism knew no bounds when i was in elementary school. i had so many gfs i'd dump one, then ask the next one out, and two timing them little bitches. it continued in middle school wehn i had a gf she was so happy we were at a local hs basketball game. for some reason i decided 'i want to break up with her' so i told her i not date anymore. apparently she hurt her knuckle by punching a wall in the bathroom.
haven't dated since. it seems when i got in hs my autism was worse like i became very self aware and conscious of everything and anything. ever since i haven't asked out one girl or even talked to one for tha matter.
>Yesterday at work
>HGV driver comes in
>Turns out it's some cute Slovakian girl, like 5'5 and slim
>God damn this accent
>As she's about to leave I ask her if she's seeing anyone, she says no and asks why. I say she has a cute accent which makes her smile. Sperged slightly and didn't follow through.
>Nothing happens, no number or name or anything. Bit annoyed but I'd broke up with gf Saturday and spent all V-Day in bed with a hangover so I had to attempt to do something about the mood I was in
>Get a message request on fb
>It's her, she tracked me down from the delivery sheet I signed
>going out next week as she's travelling to London to help her sister move in to a new apartment this week
>she messaged me this evening asking how I am, how my day went etc.
First person I've asked out for about 18 months.
Honestly I just forced myself to do it. There's no point worrying about this shit for long m8. If you work with them or something like that then do some research before to make sure you aren't fucking up needlessly if she has a bf or kids. Thinking too much about this shit will make you sperg out as nerves will overwhelm you.
Just fucking do it.
Women aren't going to hate you for being attracted to them. This isn't school any more.
JUST DO IT.
Could someone give some advice to this post please: >>26538381
zero, had 2 girlfriends though
i will never ask out a girl in my life, as im 100% comfortable and happy being alone. i was not born with such a predisposition but forged it through pure will
Like 8. I've only gotten two meaningful relationships out of it, 2 of them rejected me anyway. The only girl to ever ask me out was really into me, and gave great head, but I wasn't all that attracted to her. I just stuck with it for a while because she let me cum on her face.
How did you ask her out? Do you think that you were too casual or instead maybe she decided during the date that she didn't want to go out with you and saying that she thought you were just going as friends was a subtle way of telling you that?
6 total. Two turned me down, one because she already had a boyfriend, one because she just wasn't interested. Two of them I went out on a couple dates with. One I ended up in a relationship for about a year. The last one I'm married to.
I've asked out plenty of women. They typically have said yes in the recent years. When I was younger, it was always "I don't like you that way," or something along those lines. Initially, it really fucking hurt. Now, I could realistically careless if a bitch says no. She's the one missing out.
OP here. Final request for advice here.
Please help /r9k/
Should I ask her out tomorrow based on this?
I'm 24 and I've only really asked out 4 girls
>girl in my class is always friendly with me
>ask her out
>she says she's in love with a guy from my class who I get along with very well
>says she likes me as a friend though
>be 17 almost 18
>been crushing on qt girl with 10/10 ass since I got rejected by the last one
>the fair is coming to town
>ask her if she wants to go with me
>says she's sorry, but it's her aunt's birthday and she's out of town over the weekend
Second girl got a bf 2 months after and I was crushed.
Then followed years of nothing.
>be 24, last October
>meet cute slav girl
>ask her out for Halloween
>she says yes first, but then cancels because she "forgot" that she had plans with her friends
>meet her the week after
>ask her to go for a walk that night
>we meet, romantic setting, walking along the river at night, just the two of us
>"Anon, just to be clear: this isn't a date"
We stayed friends but she kept toying with my emotions until I finally told her I was in love with her and she dropped me alltogether.
You need more for asking out. Talk to her a couple times instead of just stalking her online. Get into a conversation. Don't bring up conversation based on what you've seen online of her, that's creepy.
>in between dates with the other girl (wanted to get my mind off her)
>meet 18 y/o qt
>invite her to friend's birthday party
>she says she'll come if she can bring a friend, I say sure
>pick up the two girls for the party
>ask her if she wants to go out with me sometime later that night
>she says dating is really too much for her right now with her having just moved to town and started translator school, but we can meet some time and see where things are going
>ask her next week if she wants to go for a feew drinks
>we meet, she tells me she invited some other people
>ask her a few days later if she wants to to something just the two of us
>she says she thought she was clear the last time, she just wants to be friends
Additionally, I told a friend I knew was seeing someone else that I originally wanted to ask her out. I also told her that I really liked her.
Just 2 weeks ago I told one of my best friends that I liked her. She likes me too and would go out with me, but she already has a date for Valentine's day and she really likes the guy.
Well, they met, and as another friend told me yesterday, it didn't click between them and it won't work out.
So I'm going to ask her out when I next see her.
Wish me luck robots.
I've asked out 3 girls in my life.
The first one said no then ignored me from then on.
The second one called me ugly and acted like I had insulted her.
The third laughed at me not thinking I was serious so I laughed too and then ran home to play dota.
I would never mention the fact I googled her. I mean she may have searched me on facebook or something, I don't know.
But why can't I just ask her do go out sometime?
I mean I don't really get a chance to speak to her in work since she doesn't really print things off any more for whatever reason. I feel like giving her the opportunity to see me outside of work wouldn't be too kind of intense since I won't say "a date" or anything and won't conspicuously treat it as such. I really would like to get to know her, but it's impossible if we just pass each other every now and then with other people walking by.
Do any working-age "femanons" have an opinion on this?
Yes, but here's the kicker: that music you're both interested in? You NEED to plan to go to a show or something that you both would be interested in. The trick is that if you're going to this show, don't get discouraged if she says no. It's music you already like and you'll enjoy it anyway. If there isn't one around you at the moment, opt for some coffee and bring it up with her (ex. "There's this one band I think you might be interested in, it's called 'tfw'.")
I think you can pull it off, but you can't stare like you did before. You need to come confident and correct.
I'm not going to hint about music until she brings it up not to seem creepy. I mean in private, or in a one-on-one situation I am very talkative and can entertain and hold a conversation without awkwardness, it's just in a formal work setting surrounded by people typing quietly I seize up.
Also is my question to her ok?
"I hope this isn't inapproriate but would you like to go out with me some time?"
Since this seems to be the only fucking date thread around here:
Is it OK to deliberately wait a day or two before answering texts to gauge interest? This girl seems really into me on our (so far two) dates, but she is so extremely passive on the texting and I really want her to initiate for once. I've heard that to "create distance" is an excellent way to probe, but I feels like such a douchebag move, and I'm afraid of potential backfire...
>hey, sorry if this is inappropriate but would you like to go out with me sometime?
Sounds beta. Don't give off the impression that you feel like you're offending her. A "Hey *name*, long day. Are you doing anything after work?" would be better (probably still not ideal, but it's the best I can do)
I always thought the "wait three days before you call" thing is bullshit. Just answer, especially when you got a text and she can see that yoyu've already read it two days ago.
I heard two female friends talk about how they hate when a guy just stops responding mid-conversation and how the "create distance" thing is such a meme. Don't do it Anon, it's not worth it.
But I feel saying "I hope this isn't inaprorprioate will"
A) Show I'm not autistic and possess self-awareness
B) Suggest to her that I think she may be the type of person who would over-react to that sort of question and tell HR or whatever to warn me, in turn inviting her to dispell that perception by acting kindly
No clue, I used to talk to a girl who just stopped replying, I haven't sent another msg because I'm afraid that it'll make me seem desperate
I found out she thinks I'm hot af but I think she hates my personality now
It's too polite and you're leaving it too open ended for her to say, "Sure" then avoid you like the plague.
"Hey, I noticed you around the office. Let's grab coffee sometime, say, <day-here>. I'd like to get to know you outside of this stuffy ass office."
If she says no, cool. No harm, no foul. You at least know where she stands. If she says no but schedules another day, awesome.
Only once. Didn't turn out well -- she accepted but I got stood up. This was back in high school, before either of us were driving age I believe, and she really wasn't the type to be a cold bitch like that (the next day she claimed she couldn't get a ride and I stupidly didn't get to exchange numbers with her beforehand), but I'm on /r9k/ so of course the assumption is wolf in sheep's clothing. And hey, maybe deep down inside I probably even believe it, but whatever, it's just another embarrassing memory half a decade ago. Funnily enough, I believe she goes to the same university that I do (flagship state uni). Never bothered to check out how she's doing now, though sometimes in my loneliest times I start thinking about contacting her again, maybe even make some amends (I had my fair share of creepiness back then, let's not delude ourselves here), maybe even try to be friends. I haven't had a true female friend, well ever really, and I have only one person I would call a true friend at college anyway. She was the last girl I ever had puppy love feelings for; since senior year of high school til now I've literally never felt anything for any girl. Sometimes I wonder if I'm broken, but it's not like I stopped jacking off or stopped thinking about relationships/romance. Something disconnected inside of me though and I can't even fantasize being in a relationship with any girl I know.
Almost asked out another girl a year before that incident actually, but that was literally hours before I found out she had just started dating someone else. Good thing I didn't get anywhere with her though, she turned out to be a certified psychochick.
If she says "sure" I will ask what she's doing Sunday and if she'd like to come for a walk with me along the river in my city. I like walking and feel it's a good way to talk to each other without sitting around as we do in the office all day.
Also as I mentioned above she's pretty highly educated and so on so I'll have to be a little formal, since we're both 25 and I can't play it off like "this shitty job, huh?". I have to impose some sense of seriousness I feel. And also she'll be able to tell I'm faking confidence if I say "let's grab coffee at this specific date".
I think she can tell that I'm standoffish and don't talk for the sake of talking, so I think she may appreciate it if I'm direct and honest and place myself in a vulnerable position without goofing around.
None, i got asked out by a fat chick once and rejected her.
When answering texts? Respond as soon as you can. Be as natural as possible, don't be an autist and deliberately wait a day or something to answer something like "hey what's up".
As for the passive texting thing -- if she's shy, it's naturally hard for her to initiate a conversation in text. You've already been on dates, so just set another one and let her open up to you in person. If she's not shy in person (Stacy-like), then she might be trying to play the "deliberately wait" game herself, in which case be careful. Bitches be bloodthirsty.
You have no right to shitpost like tfw no gf on r9k if you haven't asked out at least 15 girls and got rejected, that's the minimum amount. It's when you truly want something and pretend like your inherent autism won't stop you that you can say >tfw no gf
AND ONLY THEN
I haven't tried again, because I'm very ugly and deathly afraid of people in general.
Funny how that one thing started the chain that made me some dude who browses /r9k/ for help. Probably the main reason was 3 years of some people trying to get me to commit suicide. And hey, now I'm venting on a random ass thread
LISTEN UP ROBOTS
From what I can tell, the main problem is that you make a big deal out of asking a girl out. Simply say, "do you wanna grab some coffee with me sometime?" That's literally all it takes. Set up a time to meet, and get to know her. Ask her about what she likes and what's going on in her life. If you show interest in her, it will be clear that you are attracted to her. If it goes well, then you can suggest a second date, perhaps something more intimate, such as dinner and a movie. The second date is the key to closing the deal.
Meh, I've been on a few dates lately and I just fucking can't escalate at all. It's like my mind just freezes up at the mere thought of it and downright refuse. So of course it fizzles out eventually, back to square one...
Ironic that I have no problems asking them out, but this shit is stopping me dead in my tracks.
Okay, anecdotal evidence, but...
If she really liked you, she'd have taken her time to talk to you more than just on passing. I constantly flirt with girls at work, since sexual harassment laws are not that bullshit here, as in you won't get fired or sued for telling someone that they look good in their dress of choosing on a given day. I've been on dates with five different girls from work, but always after flirting with them for a while, and see if they reciprocated. Probably flirted with at least thirty on and off. Turnover is high, it helps that I work in an office with hundreds of employees. I'm not even particularly good looking, or anyone in power. I just try to dress good but fairly casually, not overly preppy. I groom myself, but still leave room for a stubble. And I work hard, and I'm an all around dependable and knowledgeable guy, so I get an opportunity to talk to other people often. I also try to give off an aura of confidence.
But I know for sure that going after people from the office will label you as THE desperate/thirsty guy if you are not careful.
This is the tricky part. I'm not that great at making friends, although being at university makes it much easier. But you have to be careful, because if you become too good of a friend, then you cease to be a romantic option. This is why having a oneitis is a waste of time. It's best to ask them out sooner rather than later. Obviously, find a girl who is friendly and will talk to you, but don't orbit her. Leave her be, and ask her out out of the blue. She'll be much more flattered that way, and will be more likely to accept and take interest in you.
Can't reject me now you fucking fools!
That could work but its pretty autisitic. Your better asking how she is then she how she responds. If she smiles and says good or some shit about work being lame/good or whatever then ask her if she wants to go grab a coffee or some food. Then you'll have a chance to sit down and chat on the spot.
If she shows little emotion or engagement then you have nothing to loose just ask her if she wants to grab a drink some time.
So back to scenario one if it goes well then ask her of she wants to grab a drink some time. Ask a lot of screening questions like what keeps you busy out of work? What are you up to this weekend? That gives you an idea of whether she's single most importantly and second what she likes to do and then you can decide what to do for a second date.
The opener is the hardest part but once you get over with your on the gravey train the best scenario you can hope for is taking out for a coffee or lunch then you can get all the awkward getting to know you shit out of the way.
Hope that helps
>half way through the "date" she said she thought we were just going out as friends.
>we meet, romantic setting, walking along the river at night, just the two of us
>"Anon, just to be clear: this isn't a date"
Fuck, how often does stuff like this happen?
if a girl is interested she will at least make it kinda known
ive had chicks straight up ask for sex before
if you feel like you need to ask to find out she probably doesn't like you