>tfw want to be schizoid so I have an excuse for being an outsider all of my life
>probably just autistic
Who /self diagnosed/ here?
Post mental illness and laugh at others.
I was diagnosed as aspergers by a lady when I was 21 (it is confirmed on my dad's side and suspected on my mother's) but have been feeling like I might be schizophrenic also the more I read and match up experiences.
Who knows, it can be hard to tell just by yourself without extensive research into both.
A shot in the dark here, do you know the term 'word salad'?
Anon, I do too. The symptoms are perfect and then I get paranoid that I'm emulating them on purpose and the whole cycle is insane.
But I feels with you OP. As much as I can actually feels tho
I sometimes wonder if wanting to suffer from a mental disorder isn't a disorder in itself. But then I figure that I'm only saying that because I want to suffer from a mental disorder.
Right, you and I have had the same thoughts. It's so incredibly circular. You've already said it, but a diagnosis is almost "permission" from some higher authority to act as you are
Then again I didn't realize I was showing symptoms of Schizoid PD well into a year after starting therapy, but then it all started to make more sense after. I'm still not asking for a test tho.
That would be the ultimate validation wouldn't it?
And you know man, according to the validation we seek, that makes the very core of our quest contradictory to our end goal.
Look the symptoms are clear and have been for a very long time. But the guessing game of psychology is worse, and so you shouldn't play it. What one psychologist says is a PD another might say "Your emotional detachment and preference for isolation could be due to learned childhood behavior that we could help you overcome"
Now if you're like me, and it feels impossible to want to be around anyone at all, to feel any significant emotional depth and to feel like a human being and not some robot, this sounds almost impossible. But psychology and their labels are only balanced upon preference of the analyst.
You've got everything to gain from perhaps seeking cognitive behavioral therapy, for counsel, not just getting a label to excuse your actions.
God knows it would make my life easier of course, and probably yours too. We wouldn't have to keep explaining to our respective analysts that we really truly have little desire to be around others, that our emotional depth is that of carrots and that we feel so estranged from our humanity we might as well be an entirely different species as a whole.
They might say this is a personality disorder. And they could also say that our emotional bluntedness is because long ago we were taught, or we made ourselves cut that part out and it became who we were. That our preference for isolation could be rooted in vague anxieties we ourselves have yet to recognize.
But maybe they're not, and we really truly are just Weirdo's and loners, and that's okay.
But from one Schizoid probable to another, I think we should keep ourselves open to new possibility.
This is roughly some of the things I've gleamed from a year of continuous therapy.
>is a robot
>wonder if he is schizoid
if you have the symptoms and its really affecting your life, you are schizoid
or maybe something else that share the symptoms
yes self diagnostic is dumb but you don't need a doctor to tell you that your personality is "characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, and apathy."
because it is.
It's just that I don't want to use an actual condition that some people have to live with everyday as an excuse for my shitty personality. Makes me feel like that cunt who claimed to have gotten PTSD from twitter.
Also very logical.
And there's nothing wrong with that. Honestly man I think that with psychiatry and their diagnostics is playing politics more than anything.
Like, a rational person could look at a full blown schizophrenic and say "yeah, he needs help", but there's some legit criticism leveled at the DSM and the APA with things like depression, anxiety, ADHD, autism, OCD, etc.
The PD thing I think is something that is an area of "treatment focus" instead of clinical and official labels. If your personality is impeding your ability to be happy, or is making like difficult for you or others, there's cause for help.
>tfw symptoms of ""schizophrenia"" are largely infrequent with me and I can go periods of time feeling relatively ""fine"" but other times I have delusions and don't recognize they are delusions until after along with other things associated with it
What the hell does that even mean? Am I fine? Why does it just come and go
>i live alone
>i interact with people as little as possible
>i'm a wizard
>it really doesn't bother me
I don't need to pay some asshole to tell me I'm schizoid.
Don't play the "schizophrenia is a meme illness" thing because it's not. Seriously full blown Schizophrenia is a serious condition or "cluster of symptoms". However you want to look at it.
See a psychologist for this. It's fun to meme on here but that's one I don't meme upon because it's actually scary.
>tfw can't tell if you're pretending to experience these things or not
I get distracted for long periods of time, see flashes of light in my peripheral vision, have become increasingly religious in the last couple of months and have these weird seizures when I sleep where I can hear voices but I can't tell if it's an act
I only started feeling this after I tried pot two months ago
I honestly think I'm clinically depressed and maybe even schizoid but I don't want to go to the doctors or a psychologist.
Who here doesn't know if they're hearing voices
Like I think I hear voices sometimes but I don't know if i'm just making up the fact that 'm hearing voices.
Also when I leave my fan on for too long it starts to sound like someone playing classical music on a piano.
What's that about?
>tfw people take the liberty and assumption of believing you mean schizophrenic without looking into what a schizoid is.
>seeing flashes on light in peripheral vision
What does this mean, It happens all the time to me.
I keep thinking it's just a light or something short-circuting but no ones seems to notice but me.
This is gonna sound like shit advice, but even one time is enough.
The research here is shoddy at best, but we know that anything that can cause what is known as "psychosis" (things like LSD can induce this as well) also can reveal latent mental disorders.
I don't think it means anything really. Ask around and you'll find a lot of people see things like that.
It's quite common to be quite honest
this is why i hat e/r9k/ sometimes because as soemone that has studied intensively this stuff i can say most of you don't what the fuck you're actually talking about. actually most psychologists don't know what the fuck they're talking about either, a psychiatrist? is that a joke? never trust a psychiatrist of all people or you're fucking legit stupid.
anyways a schizoid is gneerally just a fancy term for a reject. their behavior is learned and their opposition towards other people is from years of not being accepted in the group and probably from early years.
Like I'm saying, PD are politics at best. That's why they change definitions and symptoms in cultural contexts too.
Still though how have you studied these things? Are you a professional?
Not even sure what to think.
>no friends, no girlfriend, never had sex
>don't try to pursue or even care very much about any of them
>can sit inside my room for weeks without going outside
>growing increasingly more unhygienic
>random panic attacks
>sleep pattern is literally all over the place
>go through periods of feeling indifferent and madly depressed to the point of wanting to off myself
>going outside takes a lot of courage
>feel uneasy when I see stranger, just want to run away
>do everything to avoid interacting with other people besides my parents unless it is absolutely fucking necessary
>can't make myself do anything, can barely push myself to do take care of the heaps of dirty dishes in my living space
>no hobbies, no real interests besides reading random shit
>cautious of everything going on with my body
>extremely active and vivid imagination, always making up fantasy worlds and stories, sometimes just make up scenarios where I'm a hero saving the world
>forget shit easily
>sex drive is a rollercoaster
>don't even know my own personality, I'm just a creature in my own eyes
that about covers it, I don't even know what the fuck is wrong with me. I don't know if I have severe autism or depression or anxiety or whatever. I should really get a diagnose but I get really anxious just picking up the phone to call a psychologist, I stutter and accidentally interrupt people while they're talking. Fucking kill me.
professional in being able to use my brain. i think the practice of psychiatry should be abolished. i also think most psychologists are like herd following the general consesus in their field without actually thinking about ti.
I can't tell you that man. I don't even know much about it. Quit diagnosing yourself, it isn't healthy.
>professional in being able to use my brain.
>i also think most psychologists are like herd following the general consesus in their field without actually thinking about ti.
The medical professions do the same thing too. They are ruled by consensus. There's no denying that there's suffering in the world anon, and mental anguish cannot always be "lifted out". When behavior begins to cause issues for the persons health, happiness, or concern for others, it is the psychologists job to intervene.
did you not read my orgiinal post about these 'mental illness self diagnosing on here' threads. they annoy me so i guess your assumption of me being upset is accurate.
i guess i'm just trying to say that some of these titles are just from behaviors not brain abnormalities and our environment can influence a lot of the behaviors. my theory is a schizoid is just someone who has been rejected all their life. an omega. a low iq weirdo that isn't fit for the group
Personality disorders are not only probably caused entirely by the way you were raised and socialized, but they also currently are considered to definitely be caused at the very least partially by environment/upbringing.
Idk why you think a meme personality disorder would give you an excuse to act a certain way. All it does is tell you the ways how you act like an asshole and suggest that you rub fragrant lotion on yourself any time you feel sadness.
>my poops are rock solid.
you really need to eat more fiber and drinks more water
i think if its hemoroid you are not supposed to bleed but dunno
you should take a look at your ass, do you see a fissure or something? does it hurt?
I was confused about my voices too, anon. They were coming from inside my mind, but they didn't seem like my own. Apparently this is very common amongst schizos. See, there are two types of auditory hallucinations. External voices, where you hear them just like you'd hear your mother calling you down for dinner. And internal voices, where you can only hear it as you would your regular thoughts. Internal voices are much more common than external voices, from what I know. Normally they will be in a different voice from your natural conscious thoughts, sometimes the voice of someone close to you.
It can get really tricky distinguishing your thoughts from someone else's. I've read that brain maps show that schizos are normally mistaking their own thoughts as alien and intrusive, so it's not technically a hallucination but an inability to find control over our minds. I've had external voices for a while, but I didn't start to notice the internal voices up until they started telling me to kill myself. Every thought I had was countered with "well, you're gonna fail so you should just shoot your face in". Really awful, nasty voices. And it would feel like they were stealing my thoughts and planting their own in there. I would find myself agreeing that I should commit suicide, only to shake out of it and realize that's not what I want.
I don't know, my voices just faded away after a while. I didn't want to keep taking my meds so I stopped. From the things I've read, you should talk back to the voices. Tell them they're wrong when they're destructive, tell them you're safe when they're scared. If you don't let them step all over you, you'll regain control of your mind again.
I had this happen to me. Serious question; are you on drugs?
I had drug-induced psychotic episodes from taking mass amounts of MXE a few years ago. I stopped all drugs and within a year I never had a hallucination again.
Anon, read >>26519292 especially the part about "areas of treatment"
Nope. Like I said, quit trying to diagnose yourself
There are almost no treatments for Schizoids, no lotions or medicines to use. Some suggestions are therapy, but that's usually fruitless.
It's not so much an excuse, but more acknowledgement.
Not that guy btw.
>my theory is a schizoid is just someone who has been rejected all their life. an omega. a low iq weirdo that isn't fit for the group
Maybe you should actually read into this stuff before you start spouting baseless opinions. What you're describing has literally nothing to do with personality traits that are classified as symptoms of Schizoid PD.
Sounds like me man, i've never been on meds though.
Whenever I mess something up or embarrass myself there comes the voices telling me to put a bullet in my head.
These days as i've been really making strides to recover from deep depression, the voices don't sound so angry but just suggest that I kill myself in pleasant and joking voices.
Now I can tend to laugh off the voices, like every time I mess up I know that oh here they come again, guess I need to kill myself hahah.
>quit trying to diagnose yourself
You're so very right, even if i'm diagnosed with something it won't change anything. I am who i am.
don't have to read a wiki page to understand why someone acts the way they do.
but once again some of you on here don't understand my way of thinking. aka actually looking at everything with absolute logic including the reason someone is the way they are and the way they act.
I dunno i'm not gonna try to say that I don't do large amount of drugs, but I was noticing flashes of light before I ever took a substance.
I have a memory of one time back in 6th grade.
>You're so very right, even if i'm diagnosed with something it won't change anything. I am who i am.
It might make devising a treatment plan easier, but it's just a label. The APA came up with a ton of them back in the 50's when the government came to them and asked them "So guys, how many wack jobs are among our populace?"
That's the thing dude. It's more politics than anything at this point. Psychology and the study of the human mind are in infant stages at best right now, and thus far we're making only meager strides in identifying biological origins for mental disorders.
That's not to rule them out of course, but the point does indeed remain.
No, you're looking at it like a retard. You do not have "absolute logic", especially if you're relying on anecdotal "well you gotta MEET THESE GUYS" evidence for your claims. That's like, what, super low on the logical fallacy pyramid?
Anyway my prescription is a .50 caliber bullet to the back of your mouth and upwards
If you were having schizophrenic symptoms in 6th grade, you'd most likely have a very severe case of schizophrenia. It's probably nothing.
Statically most males who develop schizophrenia do so in their mid-late 20's. Having symptoms in the 6th grade is impossibly severe. You'd be damn near incomprehensible at this point, with the word salad, the delusions, probably hospitalized too.
>medical condition has a specific set of symptoms which everyone has agreed on
>LOL I DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT I ALREADY HAVE LOGIC I MAKE MY OWN DEFINITIONS OF STUFF BECUZ IM SUPER SMART XD
Jesus Christ, rarely have I encountered someone this fucking retarded.
>my way of thinking
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
I knew you all would show up.
no i'm actually not you are. you're hte one who just thinks these personality disorders are an actual thing. most of this shit is environmentally induced behavior. it's quite easy to understand why someone act the way they do.
Legitimately diagnosed with bipolar disorder and I'm doing just fine in life because I've gotten treatment. I have good days and bad days of course but I've learned how to overcome my illness. You could all get help too, but you know deep down that there is not anything legitimately wrong with you. You're all just lazy, self centered fucks.
once again i'm done arguing with you two. it's pointless you have misunderstood me from the get go. i was trying to tell you i don't need to read these thigns to understand someones behaviors.
A lot of people see flashing white light when withdrawing from SSRIs.
You're fucking up your serotonin levels with drugs.
They're things if you decide they're affecting your life. Clinical definitions exist to me as "areas of focus" for treatment.
A lot of psychopaths are actually stupid shits, but are seriously good at being manipulative.
Do any of you guys smoke? That's a symptom of schizophrenia. 80% of schizos smoke. Quite a large portion, wouldn't you say? I smoke four cigs a day. Started puffing the cancer stick around the time I began showing symptoms. Not sure about schizoids though.
Schizophrenia is most likely a collection of related illnesses, and you can have different aspects of it and not others. So I think schizoid/schizotypal PD are just variants of plain ol' schizophrenia. Therefore, I'd wager that schizoids smoke too. My theories have been painstakingly thrown together from reading Wikipedia articles.
There are several theories for why schizos smoke. Some say it's to fight the side effects of the meds, some say schizos are self-medicating with cigs to boost their cognition, other people say it's because schizos are just so fucking bored. I think it's the last one for me. Taking a break to sit out on the porch a bit and have a nice drag is a good release.
Also, don't romanticize any of the schizo disorders. It's a very difficult illness to deal with and it impairs your ability to take care of yourself. Schizoids still feel loneliness, and they can't fulfill that want for human interaction because they don't have the skills or interest. It's a painful life to live.
Chew on that food for thought. The words I am putting out are like plump peaches bulging with sweet summer juices, the juices -- pause -- of knowledge. It's cig o'clock, time to go.
They're not even good at being manipulative. They just are manipulative. They throw a tantrum if you don't do what they want. They threaten you. They get aggressive. They end up in jail. They have incest babies with their trailer trash cousins. They're petty thieves with no impulse control. They have no self-awareness and can usually be spotted from a mile away if you're smart. Most sociopaths aren't high functioning.
correlation =/= causation
Almost everyone with schizophrenia smokes because almost all schizophrenics use drugs to cope with their illness and most drug users smoke.
Most hospitals only let you go outside if you smoke. Most schizophrenics pick up smoking in the hospital so they can go outside.
And therein lies the meme.
If Psychopathy really has biological properties why are some Psycho's "successful" and others blithering idiots.
Also if you can't spot their erratic behavior you deserve to be manipulated.
It's when you're trying to express yourself and you just toss out a shitload of words that make no sense.
I do it sometimes. It's partially why I've self diagnosed as some kind of schizoid rather than autistic (also the fact that I have occasional auditory hallucinations). I'll be damned if I'll visit a doctor for that shit though. They'll take my guns away. That's the fucking meme of the hour, MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE CERTAIN HUMAN RIGHTS!
We're one step from being sent to FEMA camps, senpai.
it's the same thing lol.
erratic behavior. i've literally never met someone that i would think of as a sociopath despite meeting 1,000's of people in my life. i've also never been maniuplated by someone. maybe i'm the psycho?
How many high paid CEOs are there in the world?
The vast majority of people with psychopathy are not your superhuman hollywood sociopaths. They are little angry shitpiles floating around a sea of equally stupid optimists.
Saying psychopaths are skilled at manipulating is like saying a first grader is strong for beating up an infant.
I'm relatively healthy but have been scared to leave the house for more than 5 years, and don't really want to anyways. I only leave for certain family functions and to go to the store after midnight. Do you think that alone would get me diagnosed and medicated? I don't want to spend a bunch of time talking to a therapist.
Doesn't psychopathy incorporate a number of behavioral and mental disorder?
I would say the ones more inclined towards success are the ones that are more manipulative and more mentally gifted, and the ones more likely to get incarcerated are the ones who are impulsive and not bright.
Sometimes when I'm really tired/going to sleep, I'll hear random phrases or sounds that aren't in my voice/internal monologue. They don't relate to anything or each other, but it makes me feel like I'm losing my mind when it happens because my mom is schizophrenic.
Am I going nuts or does this happen sometimes? It's usually if I haven't had enough sleep/been up for 24 or so hours and I'm sitting in a quiet room.
>erratic behavior. i've literally never met someone that i would think of as a sociopath despite meeting 1,000's of people in my life. i've also never been maniuplated by someone. maybe i'm the psycho?
Maybe you're just retarded anon.
Someone who acts with no regard for another persons safety, interests or emotions, and does so at a very consistent level.
Theft, vandalism, violence, all without the ability to see fault in their actions. Psychopaths aren't usually very intelligent and do these things compulsively as they cannot see why their actions are wrong. If you know someone who does these things and shows no remorse, apprehension, that's the "erratic behavior"
Yes, it's largely just associated with Antisocial Behavior.
You wouldn't be surprised to here that our prison system is full of not just criminals, but mentally ill people, most of which have Antisocial Personality traits.
Does it bother you? Is it impeding your quality of life? Seriously, that's the name of the game here.
no i've never been manipulated by someone at all. i've had people ask me for things and if i feel it reasonable i'll help them out if not i'll tell them no. that's the closest thing to 'maniuplation' i can even think of is someone asking me a favor.
>tfw psychopathic and aspie
>tfw psychopathic side bullies the aspie side
That's a hypnagogic hallucination. Happens because your brain's switching into dream mode while it's still awake. They're very common and nothing to worry about. It's not a sign of a latent mental illness. These hallucinations can get very detailed and dream-like, like some people see things and some people feel things. Romantic writers used to cherish hypnagogic hallucinations as a source of inspiration. That's why they all did opium, it slips you into a waking dream state. It's funny, they considered opium to be almost like a psychedelic. Some writers thought it had the power to open people's minds and change society. Then of course it became clear it was an incredibly addictive drug that caused dependency. Good old opium. I forget what you were asking but I hope I answered your question.
Do you have see your alternative personality in the mirror?
>tfw actually diagnosed with aspergers
>use my autistic categorizing ability to memorize thousands of funny anecdotes and interesting facts and normies find me charming and helpful
Also! I would like to add a few things. You still have a very minimal chance of developing schizophrenia, even if your mom has it. Furthermore, relatives of schizophrenics show much higher scores on tests for creativity than the rest of the population. Schizo traits manifest themselves in unorthodox thinking styles and free association of ideas. Many famous creative minds were related to schizophrenics, like Albert Einstein and James Joyce. A slight schizo edge gives you an evolutionary advantage, which is probably why schizophrenia hasn't been bred out.
I am like a schizo database of information, pumping out knowledge to the anons of /r9k/.
I think I might have schizophrenia
Sometimes I just start babbling random words to people, I don't know why. One time I started saying heat is simulated and not real. I have a lot of delusions like that were I thought at one point Satan was trying to start a nuclear war, and the CIA is trying to induct me into MKULTRA because I have gifts (this one seems kind of plausible to me still).
I hear voices from time to time, they usually are calmer now, they just talk on autopilot instead of trying to make me attack people or try to do stupid shit. It's usually more "little" sounds: scratches, static, laughs, one time there was a robot.
Sorry I wrote a fuckingg blog, but is it possible I have it?
I haven't been diagnosed with anything but I had a "drug-induced psychotic episode" so you would assume I have psychosis/schizophrenia right? But no, I guess that's a good thing.
Musician, I do glitch images and photography too but it's not as big.
See, musicians get controlled by the CIA/music industry. They get programmed, you know? I realize they're going to try if I get big (I have done noise, but I'm getting less experimental and more structured), so I'm not letting them get to me. They're definitely planning, I don't know what they'll try next.
True schizoids don't talk to people. At all.
This website includes communications, which they don't do.
If you feel like you can't talk in public but enjoy venues like this then that's more indicative of a communication disorder like autism spectrum.
Maybe. The big thing about schizophrenia is you never returned to a good baseline -- as in you had a clear cognitive decline marked with periods of psychosis. Also, the psychosis happens regardless of whether you are depressed, happy, on drugs, etc.
No, I think they might track me down on social media. I feel unsafe here, but I'll give info. But I can tell you Britney Spears is a big one. I have very foggy memory all the time so I'll get a lot of things untouched.
Basically she tried to "break free", making her own songs instead of the ones they wrote for her, she then got that supposed "mental breakdown". It was not that, I can tell you. There's a thread on /x/ about it, very scary:http://archive.4plebs.org/x/thread/16974516/
Yeah, this has never stopped, it's just been getting worse, I don't even understand what I'm thinking half of the time. I'm actually really surprised people haven't noticed how off the wall I am. I even told people about the voices yet they just say I have tinnitus or some stupid shit.