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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 99
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So the frogs and feels isn't open. But I still want anons to get their drink on so I'll open my little bar. Come on in.
I'm beginning to think that I am living in a chad rapture that claimed all of the "good gfs" and pretty much left me here with nothing

So pour me a tall glass of chlorine and keep 911 on standby my man
No drinks tonight, only feels

Hey bartender, thanks for your work. I won't order a drink, but do you have anything to make all my problems go away?
>F&F bartender disappears the night before Valentines

Confirmed normie in disguise. Fuck that guy.
Your best bourbon, please. Spent the day alone in my room pretty much. I'm trying to get a job, and the manager said he would call me back, but he hasn't called me back. It's a place I've worked before.

I really want to work late into the night. Maybe because I feel like I'm not doing enough if I'm not breaking my back. I always want to be working the hardest, so not having work at all makes me feel incomplete. Don't quit your job until you have another one, kids.
It's my birthday, and I'm all alone now. It was nice that my grandma took me out to lunch. I'm happy family cares, but it sucks not having any close friends with which to celebrate.
>tall glass of chlorine
Anon, you really should look at a periodic table sometime.
Or just retake 8th grade chemistry.

Anyway, I've given up on girls, I'm about the most undesirable faggot on earth. Guinness, please.
>made zero friends in college
>want to hang with high school friend
>busy everytime I ask
>give up asking
>later need some info I think he has
>send a message "yo -nickname-"
>get message back
>"it's -name-, not -nickname-"
Chlorine is a gas in its standard state
He probably means hydrofloric chlorine- bleach
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Uprising NOW

when will we get
The strongest thing you have, please. I don't want to feel this anymore
Guess I'm retarded
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i want to get off the ride, its no fun anymore
My family life is bad, my social life is terrible, my career is terrible and I'm terrible as well. I have a terrible personality, it just doesn't show too much because of how limited contact I have.

Beer for starters.
oh damn. i heard a story a lot like yours recently, except the other guy got majorly pissed and jumped down the anon's throat.

hey barkeep laphroaig on the rocks and make it a double m8
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>haven't had any booze in a week, maybe longer
>just took 2 shots of tequila
>poured 3 more shots into a glass of orange juice
>mfw im buzzzzzin
A week ago started dating best friend from 9th grade ( senior now ) after moving away till this semester but comin back cuz wanted to grad with old bros, broke up, back together, but broke up again day ago. says she wants to get to know me again before we get serious ( just sexual shit past week ) but i dont know if i want it knowing how much she hurt me. about to go get baked with roomate and chillout in our fucking room that is a blanket fort
holy shit robots. help me help me please. im so drunk i think im going to die. right now its only 30 degrees. holy shit please help me robots. what should i do?? im drunk too please.

have some evedrclean anon. pure alcohol. i have some monnshine in the back thats been festering for a few y ears, theres some mushrooms and shit in it. should make youjr problem go away :)
>drank whole bottle of tequila
>ate whole bag of cocktail peanuts
>lose consciousness
>wake up shirtless, still drunk
>thirsty so I waddle towards sink
>the whole thing is covered in puke
>it's like a jar of extra nutty, extra chunky peanut butter exploded in my sink
>oh my god
>someone must've come into my room while I was out and has puked into my sink
>later realise it was me
>later find my favourite shirt under my bed with a big peanut vomit stain on the front
I will take a Jameson barkeep, no ice. I need something to sip on while I think about what a shitty spot I am in. GF decided to choose heroin over her son awhile back. Ive been taking care of my son alone for almost a year now and I am still scared shitless of raising him by myself.
Don't drink anymore alcohol. Eat something. Stay hydrated. Take a shower, or try to sleep. You'll be fine.

but i want to drnik. its the only thing that makes me happy in my sad life
>im so drunk i think im going to die
>almost zero typos
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I wish I had the cash to head to a bar. I could use a few drinks and some time to sit and think.

I managed to get a girl to come back to mine after meeting her while I was out and we kissed a little and went to sleep. I'm not sure if it was a one night thing or if I should push for more with her
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>there's beauty in this land
>but I don't often see it
>there's beauty in this land
>but I don't often feel it

>the soldiers with their specialists and the pigs with their guns cannot stop
>the lost ones, and the desperate ones, and the driven ones
>the soldiers with their cigarettes and the pigs with their guns cannot stop
>the lonesome ones, and the desperate ones, and the smart ones
Drinking for that amnesic drunkenness to drown the sorrows does more harm than good, since it will make you even more depressed. You ought to drink either in moderation or not drink at all.
I'll take your house red please. And some quarters to play the jukebox.
People in my house are watching a movie in the living room.. my room is so close that I hear it. They wanted me to watch but I'm just fortifying myself in here. Jameson, neat .
If she's running off to do fucking heroin then I'd think you'd do well by your son raising him without her.
*I think you are doing well
Yo barkeep mind if me and brahs come in and sip on some of your brewskis?

Our frat is on our weekly pub crawl and we saw this place on the way to our next stop.
as an athlete i swore to keep my body sacred....just give me a glass of milk. With chocolate perhaps. I might go on a double date tomorrow. But the future is unclear to me.
A pint of amber ale please. I need something to warm myself up, I spent the day driving my ATV in the snowy wilderness, trying to forget how lonely this sunday will feel. Goddamn -30C weather, we're having. But I liked it, my face was feeling as numb as I wish I was.
Am i a faggot for pouring coke on my whisky?
Hey barkeep, I could swear I've seen you at the F&F before but all the nights are a bit fuzzy so who knows.

No normie, but I'm gonna go see Deadpool with a couple friends tonight. I just moved back to my hometown after growing to hate the jobs, people, roommates, and (all but one) friend in The Big City. Pretty much everyone's social group here, or at least the ones I know of, consist of just their old highschool buddies who also never left (or came back), we're all getting close to thirty. At least no one's too much of an asshole back here, just socially impaired.

Couple guys who have gone full robot and don't give a flying fuck about pussy, couple guys who go full wannabe-Chad and worship any pair of tits that comes within fifteen feet (to their credit, they do at least score sometimes, definitely no Chads in this town though.) But I love them, they're great guys and I feel at home here.

Only downside is the town's so small, everyone knows each other, I'm going to have to stop supplementing my income through petty theft from ShitMart. In the city there were 8 or 10 massive retail stores within a few miles of my house, and their policy was to straight-up not prosecute any thefts under $100 because we still bought enough that the store made a profit off us anyway.

I don't know what to order, I'm about to drive though, so how about one nice, light beer, a Kona or something. I'll stop at the one.
>I'll take some straight jack, bartender.

I really don't give a fuck about relationships or being with the opposite sex anymore. It is truly strange. I have been burned way too many times and it has left a bitter taste in my mouth. Also growing up with a crazy single mother has really put me on the bad side regarding my views of women. They just can never be satisfied with what you have to offer. I have a job, a good clean car, and some hobbies but these bitches want chad who drives a BMW, 6% body fat, and has 100's pouring out of their wallet. It is funny because these chicks are a 6-7 at MAX but want a 10. I just can't fucking stand female entitlement anymore and living with one. I keep hording onto my savings so I can get the fuck out and live in peace.
Op here. guys im sorry. im so sorry. i just love the frogs and feels but it seems like its never open. i know i wasnt here. i just want anons to enjoy a good drinking thread. im so sad. im sorry. this board is honestly one of the best things in my life right now. im so sorry. without /r9k/ i dont know what id do

free beers for everyone!!!
It's so nice to have friends. Two of my friends dropped at mine yesterday with a bottle of whiskey because they knew I was kinda moody because of the upcoming Single's Awareness Day. They cheered me up a bit, we watched some videos, jammed a bit it was great.

Any other robots are sad virgins but still have good friends?
Not having a father figure is what fucked me up desu, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

OP, you're barely a faggot, thanks for opening this up. Thanks for the beer too.
Thanks bartender, can I have a beer?

I have all that it takes to be a chad.
>tfw 6'0
>tfw I don't put up with women's shit
>tfw I will be making 100k when I graduate

Where did it go wrong?
Are you me? I'm pretty much the same. I even used to go to the gym a bit, but it didn't change shit. As Chad as I was outwardly, the robot inside was stronger.
>Just a glass of water
Found out my liver isnt in the best of shape. Nothing to serious yetbut i gotta get sober and stay that was. Barkeep,my good man, my friend, this may be our last night together.
I know, I hang out with chads, I exercise with chads, I try to mimic chads when I hang out with them.

But I guess it's something intrinsic, something intracible that makes someone chad. I doubt that I will ever be that person.

>inb4 humble brag
>inb4 get out, I'm a khv, and will likely remain like that for my forseeable life.
Someone just hold me. Please.
>feb 13, 2015, get turned down by grill
>next day, wake up feeling like shit, alone on valentines day again
>decide to go for a walk, walk for literally 4 hours straight, nearly 15 miles, think about my life and why it's so shit compared to what i want it to be
>visit /fit/ when I got home, start keto
>a few months later, start going to university gym
>drop 50lb and gain muscle, feel great physically
>today I made out with a girl for the first time ever (had to leave tho so still virgie, next week maybe)
>tfw gf
feels amazing guys, all my friends are asleep so I can't tell them

we can all make brehs. we're all gonna make it
Nice dubs, but I'm still going to have to tell you to get out, normie.
>buy any chance do you sell cyanide
>i swallowed 2 cyanide pills yet i lived i think they where not authentic
>i even failed to die
nice dubs, but c'mon, feel good for your bro.
>c'mon, feel good for your bro.
>tfw gf
Sorry, I don't know that feel. An hero please.
Nice dubs, but c'mon, this is bullshit.
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>he got no dubs

>dubs matter on a non-/b/ board
Set fire to self.
thanks bro

I had never kissed a girl till tonight, I'm a fucking beta overall
2bh not sure if gf, but I mean, it's the closest I've gotten

why can't you guys be happy or at the very least, take some inspiration?
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Had a decent day, gonna call the place I'm supposed to work at tomorrow and ask them what's up. It's been two weeks and I don't like being jerked around like this haah.

I'll help myself to a Cuba Libre tonight.
How is everyone else faring?

Those are a cool set of dubs anon, you can tell me more about it if you want. I'm all about people, especially robots, improving their lives.
>why can't you guys be happy or at the very least, take some inspiration?
I'm the same anon, but if you only think that you have a gf, then you probably don't have a gf. Is this some online dating bs?
Think I might be an alcoholic, robots.
Anyway, drinking cheap whisky and maybe playing vidya.
well like I said, new territory. we text all the time, been on a few dates, and tonight we sat on her couch and made out, tongue and all, for like an hour (I'm terrible at it obviously) and she begged me not to leave, but I have to get up early tomorrow to leave for study break and she lives far from me, so I had to

I get back next week, should be fun
Heey, congrats stud.
You're doing it man, keep it up and you might just bag yourself a gf.
I hope you're ready for it. I've had a gf for three years now and it's been a wild/bumpy ride but she's been really good to me. Lucked out and was her first bf
i read a lot of robot's stories aboyt their life situations and wish we could trade. socially and travaleurie we're the same but at least im well financially supported

you're probabl better people than i am anywah. i just awaut death for i cant take life myself. some of these robots could probably make their dreams if they just had my backing, because they have ambition and drive. i wish i had it instead, so i could die in the ditch with no refret
Congrats on the "gf," but braggin about it on a Singaporean Future Exchange Board is just moronic. I suggest /r/relationships for the inevitable relationship problems that you will come across.
Recently ascended from cyborg to normie. My birthday was a few days ago and word got out that I wanted to have a party. About 25 people showed up, there was liquor, weed, and shitty trap music. Still never had sex though, I'm not really sexually driven. But still lonely. I met a girl on here whose really fucking hot, but she has major social skill problems. She's probably a dude irl but I might as well roll with it bc why the fuck not.
With money you have all the keys, tripsman.

dude its my curse. im just too good at typing. even when im hammered like now, nobody believes me. shit. i mean im so drunk im on the verge of passing out yet people wont believe me since my typing is adequate...
get me some bourbon, chief.

I don't know how to feel tonight. yesterday, for the first time, I went out to a bar with the people I work with. I don't know what to feel. I'm happy that I went along. I think it might validate me as belonging, even just a little bit. And two of our assisting managers came along, I get along well with them it seems.
But I can't shake this feeling that it wasn't actually supposed to happen. That I wasn't actually supposed to be there, and that getting any feeling of belonging with work is a bad idea.
embrace it for what it is: a group of lonely people trying to get along.
dont mistake it for having "money", i just know i wont freeze or starve. i know the opportunities i ave though an it kiols me to know i dont tak e them.
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What do you do if you have nothing to be happy about and never had a gf.
Robots does getting hit by a bus hurt?

Because I live in the big apple, I figured I could walk into traffic at times square and just end it while listening to my favorite music. Its quick, right?

Any advice?
If you live in NY, then you have access to high towers. Either hurl yourself (5 seconds of terror), or hang yourself (minutes of building yourself up to actually doing it, instantaneous death).
Hey man, Cuba Libre on the rocks. I've been having nightmares of the two who got away. I feel like there will be a third. Any advice?
Zombie please barkeep
I'm too fat to hang without a chain, scared about the pain anyway

And if you lived in NYC you'd know all of the buildings have suicide prevention fences, basically fences designed to not only keep people safe but to prevent intentional climbing, especially the higher ones.

Maybe the subway though, kind of dumb for me to not think of that.
Do you want a grill, or are you just sad in general? if grill, lower your standarts. If sad, just do things you can enjoy by yourself, and be proud about them. Is not as easy as its sounds, but you have to start somewhere.

How old are you?
>scared about the pain anyway
If the drop is far enough, you won't feel shit, as long as the rope/chain doesn't break.

>suicide prevention fences
So, just jump on the fences and then jump over them.

Could work, beware of white knights though.
Trust me I've done research on the fences. Not only is my fat ass gonna have a hard time scaling, tons of white knights and security guards there to prevent it.

Subway is most viable option. How would a white knight interfere? I'll make it quick. Pretend I'm waiting and jump just in time.
both, no girl and feeling like a fucking waste beause i havent a job or a real dream and i just "exist" becausen ivr already given up

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Just don't. You're just gonna end up like pic related.
Unless you offer a better way to end it its happening. I'll just get fairly drunk and blasted to help before hand.
>go to bar
>kiss someone gf
>pick a fight with bf
>get beaten to death

go off with glory. Subway will get you chopped, but you'll live.
there has to be something you enjoy, r-right? stick with that.
even things i enjoy have stopped pleasing me. all i want to do anymore is get drunk and browse 4chan in between masturbation sessions.

this isnt a way to live a fucking life, goddamn it.
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>started dating a girl 2 summers ago
>went to the same college but then took a semester off and worked in different state
>she broke up with me while I was away
>never really told me why
>went back to the school tried contacting her
>she hates me
>don't know why
>she wont contact me at all
>been about year and half since we stopped dating
>have had sex with about 6 or 8 girls since her
>have had two relationships since her
>currently in a relationship
>haven't tried contacting her since last summer which I didn't get a response back
>currently dating a nice girl
>last night have dream of old love
>starts with her meeting up with me
>we talk a little but too afraid to ask what happened to us
>just about to ask but an emergency arises
>leave the family lake house to handle the situation
>come back and shes gone
>get sad that I lost my second chance of her
>then see note on table
>saying she went my families place in the city and she'll be waiting for me there
>realize I didn't lose the chance after all
>she seemed so happy to be with me all day
>things will work out after all shes waiting for me 90 miles away
>get in the car to head on up there
>feeling completely content with life
>actually happy
>life will be good no matter what cause me and her are together again
>suddenly wake up
>realize my father is still actually distant from me
>mother still lives on the other side of the earth from me
>realize sarah didn't spend the day with me
>realize she isn't waiting for me at my mother's place
>I'm alone in bed
>want to text or call her but with it being so close to valentines day don't want it to seem like I'm desperate
>go to the beach with current girlfriend
>current girlfriend is having a blast
>here we are on the beach and she is having the time of her life
>all I can think of is my old girl
>just feel miserable that I can't enjoy all of this
Beer glass, fireball, pour. Judge me all you want but I'm not here for you

Need more cigarettes
Leave the comfort zone. One personal tip: go back to your roots. Get back to shit you enjoyed years ago.

You're just experiencing adulthood transition. Shit sucks, but you'll get used to it.

Girls (and us too) look up for interesting people. You can be into something dumb like collecting flowers, but you're bound to found someone by doing something interesting. If you don't want, use that time to search for something that fills you.
Double Canadian whiskey neat, please. Thanks barkeep, keep the change.
>tfw alcoholic
>tfw plenty of male friends, but literally 0 female ones
>tfw just want some intimacy
>tfw not going to happen
Not going to happen. Fuck, just pour me another now, I'll finish that one by the time you're done reading this.
>trying to make a manga
>need someone to bounce ideas off of
>everyone who's heard the concept has told me to stop altogether
>don't want to give creative control to anyone anyway
This is going to be a difficult crusade, brothers.
a relative of a friend of mine has terminal cancer and will most likely be dead in the next few months if not shorter.

my friend has accepted the fact that their relative is going to die but is pretty numb to it right now and still acting tough.

really don't know how to console my friend right now. just recommending to see a therapist feels so hollow.
Feelin good. Fixed my truck, gained knoledge, and gonna work on it next weekend. On the other hand I am also alone for Valentine's day (just like every year and day before now), still feeling a nice dopamine rush though.
>With money you have all the keys
Bull fucking shit.
I'm rich and I've never had a single girl interested in me.

I should have pursued a trade instead of goddamn college. Now I have nothing to show to potential employers.
>tfw too dumb to know what to do in my life
>tfw too lazy to actually try anything
>tfw just want to be a whole person again
I'm in this weird transition period where I'm about to graduate college with a decent degree and I am about to complete an internship that will most likely turn into a job. I just feel so empty and unsure of myself. I have 0 romantic experience. I haven't had a woman take interest in me in years. I'm not even sure where to approach woman at this point in my life. One of my dreams is to have a son or daughter of my own but I doubt that will ever happen.

I hope you guys are doing alright, and that you have some good fortune in the coming days
Maybe you can help me.

I'm so lonely. I work nights and have one friend. I go weeks on end just doing nothing. It's starting to stress me out.

How do I meet people? Where do I go? I'm not in college and um still young. Is this really it? Its constant isolation and I can't really endure it forever.
Let's hear the concept friend.
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