>>26464973 >born different >stalked girls and become socially retarded >killed my dog to prove that i could >arrested for carrying weapons at night ( an axe) >almost fucked a girl willingly >get high occasionally >madness insues >cut
Someones got to have a better story mon ami. living a broken life.
>>26464973 >have had social anxiety since I was 5 (would throw up before school) >was at least decently attractive then, girls would kiss me and stuff up through third grade >asked some girls out in 5th through 7th grade, all said no >started withdrawing more, got more anxious, and now depressed from the rejection >got to HS, met some new people >made friends with girl from a new school >fell in love >told her >she never spoke to me again >group of friends continued to shrink >graduated, went to decent private school in state >didn't socialize, stayed in my room watching anime and playing video games >more anxious, would sweat just thinking of going to class >was awful in summer months, covered in sweat coming into class >so self conscious about it, would skip most classes >made 3.25 overall >graduated, got shitty salaryslave job because I was able to fake not being a spaz for a half hour interview with the govt >had to move to another state >absolutely no friends, know no one here except the two coworkers I have (work in a remote outpost) >theyre both married hambeasts anyhow >sit at home whenever I'm not at work, alone and depressed >going to work makes me so anxious I consider killing myself every morning just so I won't have to face another day
That's just the thing. I have no life experiences, no stories, no relationships, no achievements... just escapism. I've been avoiding my own thoughts and reality in order to momentarily deal with life for so long that I really have no life.
I have never had a girlfriend or experienced a first kiss, never been to a party or made friends, never graduated, never traveled, never had a job or learned new skills, never really left the house where I do nothing but rot. I'm just an empty husk of a person who is a nothing going nowhere.
I have this vision in my head that one day I'll suddenly have energy and motivation. One day I'll have a career and a family. Be a functioning member of society with something to be proud of. In reality, suicide is a more probable outcome.
>University >Living in a dorm >Neighbor is a liberal arts faggot >College whores all around him e v e r y fucking party. You couldn't imagine the pussy around him. >...he's an actual faggot >Finds me attractive >Wants to make out with me at some party when we're drunk >Tells him "Nah bro, I'm not gay" >He understands, but will never introduce me to his female friends >He always wants to go to the same clubs every weekend >A couple of years later some other people let me know what was going on >College whores where actual...students working as whores >Neighbor was, maybe probably is, a gay pimp for the mafia
Only one I would never try again is dxm. Disgusting high. Made me very sick. Mdma was pretty bad too, but due to other circumstances. I'd try it now if somebody offered. Drugs are mostly a huge waste of money you guys. Everything in moderation.
>>26464973 >smart introvert kid >burned my hand when i was 11 months >used to read and draw a lot in childhood >never made any friends >almost drowned, got impaled and smashed head into concrete >used to be scout for 3 years but still didnt make any friends >had a crush on second cousin but extreme depression followed up (she was probably nice and talkative because i was her second cousin) >attended basketball, chorus, solo singing, chess, theatre clubs. >overprotective of younger brother
>>26465286 Damn dude, well you can always change shit. That's the best part about being alive. You can just decide to change everything whenever you want. Try resetting your brain in some way. Just force yourself into a novel situation and clear your head.
Why is that retarded? I have no predisposition to addiction. I knew I would only try the "bad" drugs once or two as a learning experience. I didn't do Pcp, crack or salvia because the high sounded too awful to be worth it. Also I only smoked the heroin I never shot it up for the same reason.
Favorite drug will always be weed of course, but the most interesting was lsd. Such a great experience. It's really mind blowing, but not as scary as one would think. Makes you feel childlike and filled with wonder and enthusiasm.
>>26464973 >Grew up in rural Pakistan >Worked for my Grandfather, handled the crops and animals at a very early age >Did that whilst going to school the entire time >Would wake up at 5 everyday to do the farm work and then go to school at 9 >Got into a university in the UK >Leave to go, shit's going good, making friends and having fun >One day come home >Grandfather passed away >Life spiralled out of control >Started taking drugs to cope with the loss of the only father figure in my life Still miss him everyday
>>26466183 I've found that LSD experiences vary so wildly it's hard to even compare them. There's just too much variance in the production quality and it's fairly common for people to be sold bullshit designer drugs as LSD. That being said, my only two experiences were terrifyingly intense and lasted far too long for me to enjoy.
>>26466293 >lasted far too long for me to enjoy. So true, it might seem at first like a good idea on paper to do drugs with long half-lives and potent effect, but man, that can actually be extremely creepy.
Yeah the second time I had taken acid it turned out to be some 2ce derivative. I think most of it that goes around is bullshit unfortunately though I felt like 2ce was pretty similar in ways. Man.. nothing was more beautiful than staring at my cat's fur at the peak of my high. It looked like a rotoscope movie or something. Constantly shifting and swirling with different shades of color.
>be conceived while parents are using a contraceptive >spend early childhood inside my house with nearly no contact with other children >kind of slow on the uptake >start school >have weird behaviours, everyone makes fun of me >pretty much a social outcast from there on >move to an african country during my early teens >first crush, don't say anything >move back home almost 3 years later >feel depressed all day every day >shut-in >family issues >move to another house >university >start dating a girl >2 months in, she breaks up >doesn't say why, but it's clear it's because I was an emotional wreck >attempt to spend remaining years trying to become more sociable and expand my group of friends beyond three guys I've been really close to since always >some success but didn't stop me from feeling like shit when interacting with large groups of people where I feel like I don't belong >take up on horse riding >best feel
That was almost 2 years ago, things have remained pretty much the same. I'm fine with this, although it's not optimal.
>>26465286 You described me perfectly, it bothers me deeply, looking back I can only feel empty about my own life so I also try to ignore the past and life more in the present.
Anyway, I got diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder recently, so at least I'm getting some help now, using the autism as a crutch to turn my life around. It's a bit crude but I don't know how else to do this. I am alive but I suck at living.
>>26466547 I did a lot of Cannabis, either smoking it or as Bhang. Used Heroin and morphine a few times too. There are still people who smoke opium, however the police and military are clamping that down hard. I worked on the farm because it was my connection to my grandfather, he started off as a farm hand and ended up owning the farmlands, I felt like I could be like him if I worked as hard as he did.
>>26466770 Fuck, that is my unachievable dream. Why are you in the UK studying then, when you could just chill as an entitled, aristocrat fucking peasant girls and smoking quality drugs, brought to you by servants while laying on a divan all day?
>>26464973 >arrived to Canada when 8 >parents too busy working >8 years old so didn't give a fuck about more clothing against Canadian winter >3 years later random pain in feet and leg joints >was young and stupid, tried to shrug it off, says I fell when people asked me why I walk weird >start football in middle school, somehow pain went away >fast forward 4 years after winning provincial AA championship >sharp pain in hip one night during summer >oh god pls make it go away >pain doesn't go away next morning >can't walk well, can't go down and upstairs >after 1 month go see doctor >anon, you need to see a rheumatologist >diagnosed with juvenile idiopathic arthritis (Rheumatoid arthritis) >start naproxen, everything goes back to normal, actually better, working out, appreciating peace time due to the pain >on the same year, all hell break loose, naproxen no longer works, crazy spreading pain on legs, hip, feet, barely able to walk >too stupid to call my rheumatologist for an emergency meeting >med switched to indomethacin and self-injection Methotrexate but damage is already done, hip bone joint and knee cap can pop off and move in strange ways >everything goes well >fast forward 1 year and half, wake up one day and intense inner thigh pain, feeling cold and all shaky despite under warm blanket at night >go to hospital for a MRI for bowel (RA patient gets bowel inflammation sometime) >tell the MRI people if they can scan the thigh area because I'm hurting >nope can't do >go see rheumatologist without appointment afterward, because too much pain >oh shit anon, you are doing bad, you will need oral corticosteroid >on the way back home, receive call from rheumatologist >anon, come back to hospital ASAP >ends up that they caught a glimpse of cysts in thigh area >blood test, found streptococci in blood >feverish and in intense pain through the night >early morning undergo the first surgery in my life >wake up with drains in both thigh/pelvis
ok, here goes >primary school >boy wonder >top of the class >1. in the state math competition (not sure if you got those where you're at, here it's a big deal) >finishing year of primary school >got the medal from the president himself, along with 20 other kids >my parents buy me a pc and I finally get my room, so that i don't have to use my brother's pc any more >also broatband internet finally >world of warcraft >depression in high school >get on benzos and anti depressants >lose my mind a couple of times >get into explosives >start dedicating all my time to blowing shit up >kept it in the forest at first, but moved to people's things after everything started pissing me off >get busted with no evidence, just some guy's story >get 3 years in jail >forgot to mention that i was a fat slob >my ass fucked 10+ times and i couldn't care less >learned to relax and let it pass because it hurts less >get out >more insane than ever, but the police is following me >try to an hero a couple of times >crash my car at 110km/h, try to od on benzos and alcohol >can't score dope because cops on my tail >can't do anything >finally start getting better when i lose weight and get a girlfriend that has no idea about what i did >she finds out over a faggot friend of mine who added her on fb and shared every bit of the story >log into her facebook and see who it is >a guy who always came second in primary school >he was trying hard and failing to catch up >this was his way of fucking me over >get back home and go to his house intending to kill him >shoot his dad in the left leg with a shotgun >panic and drive him to ER >arrested again >6 months of jail >no assfucking this time, got to know people last time >out a year ago
>>26464973 so yea >rich parents >somewhat good looking, 6 feet, life should be easy mode > normal childhood, though my mother is borderline borderline >very religious parents >somehow have suicidal thoughs and existencial crisis at 11 >school grades drop >change school, bullied until I am 18 >Have essentially been depressed since I am 11, no friends, no life goals, only started therapy now, literally wasted the best years of my live
>>26466879 >on 1st day due to sedation couldn't pee in hell, flaccid feeling legs didn't help >tell the orderly that I'm about to explode into piss >end up getting shoved a catheter up my urethra >finally pee freely for a good while, almost 1L piss >just realize they had to shave my pubes for the surgery >no more methotrexate nor corticosteroid because they suppress immune system >be on oral antibiotic for the first 2 weeks, appointed for chest tube insertion >get chest tube insertion, a tube goes into upper arm in a vein somewhere with a cap outside, kinda like a fuel cap into your vein, have to keep it sterile >during the procedure one of the doc tells me that it was pretty lucky that I didn't get sepsis (30% death rate w/o complication) >for the next 4 months, daily balloon antibiotic auto infusion into chest tube >everything goes smooth for about half year. restarting arthritis meds >one day wake up with pain in ankle >oh boy here we go >meet rheumatologist >anon we start corticosteroid for real >works wonder but weight gain + pimple >gradually decreases dose >arthritis comes back again >start humira, very expensive and very painful self injection, but it still works now (would have made my family broke) >thanks based Canadian healthcare system
It was a very rough experience, it left many long lasting effects on me, including making me unable to do a lot of physical exercises and fail a bunch of classes (too stupid to drop them). But it really taught me how to care for myself and motivates me into pursuing immunology studies.
>>26464973 >grew up with a family of ten >hated my entire family >homeschooled in middle school >parents send me back to high school socially awkward >considered attractive >surprisingly make a lot of friends >parents are extremely strict >can't have a girlfriend >can barely leave the house unless I have a good reason >become NEET >graduate >military ROTC >fast forward to now >communications specialist in the Navy
>>26468071 Extremely hot, I avoid going outside in the hours between 11am and 3pm, it's enjoyable though, you see a lot of wildlife and people generally seem happier with the basics in life. It's great being the top of the feudal life, prime pussy is everywhere if poorer girls think they can latch onto you so it wasn't hard to get it.
>introverted loner >had a qt filipina girl become obsessed with me senior year of high school >ask her out after months of her following me around like a puppy dog >finally have a gf but it's clear she likes me more than I like her >she goes out of her way to show her love to me, on Valentine's Day she learned origami so that she could make hundreds of little heart shaped pieces of paper that could be unfolded and had these messages about how much she loved me on them >I read like 10 of them before getting bored and tossing it out >she loves me so much that she goes to my out of state college just to be closer to me >still know it's not going to work out between us but too pussy to break it off >she gets extremely clingy the summer before college >I start ignoring her deliberately >after months of me treating her like dirt she breaks up with me >initially I didn't care- 'this is what I wanted right?' >immediately she finds a new boyfriend >only time I remember crying was when the gravity of what I did hits me and I realize I shouldn't have treated her like shit and should have been a man and broken up with her in high school >her social life takes off, becomes one of the most popular people in my college >she tells her friends that we broke up in high school and that I stalked her and followed her to this college >girls treat me as her creepy stalker so they never give me a chance >I don't get laid at all in college. Not once. No girlfriends either >she lives in a major American city taking law school courses >I usually shitpost on this fucking shithole of a website
>brought up in a relatively quiet suburb in Philadelphia >like most kids, I spend a lot of time on the jungle gym, just having a good time >in particular, during recess, I like to play basketball, and I dream of one day becoming an NBA player >however, I started to get involved in the wrong crowd, and wound up getting in a fight >when my mom saw my bruises she overreacted and sent me to go live with her sister's family >she sent me on my way one fateful morning, and I called a taxi] >I can still remember what it said on the license plate, and there was a neat fuzzy dice ornament >I took a minute to look at it, I hadn't really seen such a high class taxi before, but then I got in and rode away >I got to my aunt's place around 7 or 8, tipped the cabbie >looked at my kingdom, I was finally there >to sit on my throne, as the prince of Bel Air
>Sick all the time at the age of 1, have a few surgeries done (tonsils removed etc.) >Got electrocuted at 2 years old, almost died, lost all sensation in right hand >6 months later I'm fully healed (though there are scars), now I'm become left-handed >At 4 years old, got lost in nearby mountains for 30 hours with a friend, Grandpa found us >At 6 years old I moved to Nova Scotia (Canada), living in a rural area >Became friends with a kid who introduced me to some crazy porn fetishes >He lived alone with his lesbian Aunt, who I watched make out with her gf many times >When I was 8 I watched a group of kids torture and then kill an injured dog >When I was 11 I moved to Ontario, had to drop the NS accent >Have a great school life throughout grades 6-12 (still a KV though) >Go to university (premed) and do well for the first 2 years (4.0GPA) >Got into doing drugs and philosophical musings (one of those "truth seekers") >Only went to school like once a week, GPA got worse but I kept things somewhat okay >One day overdosed on drugs; tachycardic, high BP, delirious, short term memory fried >Someone found me, realized I couldn't talk coherently, got me to the hospital >They thought it was a suicide attempt so I spent 2 weeks getting psychiatric treatment >The treatment was very useful anyways, got rid of my anxiety/existential dread/apathy >Wrote MCAT in the summer, did well in fourth year, applied for med school and got in >Now an ex drug-addict studying medicine
>>26468135 >she tells her friends that we broke up in high school and that I stalked her and followed her to this college she's kinda fucked up, if you had broken up with her she would've said the stalker thing and that you have small dick too.
>>26464973 >Born to parents who weren't together long >lived alone with mother >saw my dad sometimes, he paid for me >extremely close with my grandmothe >she has a stroke when i'm alone with her, I call the ambulance when I'm only 8 >shes on her death bed >I give her a picture I drew her for her, she smiles >I wake up a few days later to find all my family in the next room >her dead body laying in bed >shes smiling >still makes me sad thinking of her >fast forward 3 years >start secondary school >misbehave at school from the get go >argue with teachers >make lots of friends boys and girls >popular normie at school >drugs, alcohol and overall teenage rebel >2012 >I stop going out with friends >I still hang out with them at school just don't see them outside >leave school in 2013 >don't go to the end of school because of crippling social anxiety despite everyone wanting me to come >do my exams throughout the summer >smoke weed quite a lot with people in between when we have to keep going in to school only to do our exams >summer of 2013 was great memories >go to college >get kicked out for missing my enrollment since I got arrested for having weed on campus >look for new colleges at first >give up >now since then it's been nearly 3 years of being a NEET >don't talk to people from school hardly >they are all moving on with their lives >i'm stuck in the past >constantly think of the old times and how much fun they were >miss school so much >don't want to make new friends >they aren't the same as my old ones
well that's a short summary of my life up until now
>8 dad died >7 had table edge pushed into my eye by carers >10, got my head cracked open by a baseball bat because herp-derp that shits funny. > Spend most of my early years in care because mum worked all the time >Used to starve myself because I believed it was my fault people were suffering. >9 was force fed by school nurse, she kept me in a empty room in till I ate. >Didn't really have friends at school, they used to me to fight there fights. >Secondary school tons of fights, I pulled a knife out on a guy because he was saying stupid shit and I got labeled a psychopath >College watched a friend from secondary spas out on some PCP, nearly died.
>Father is close friend with mike harrington >Harrington was co-founder and worked with Gabe newell >2008 harrington tells me I can get a job at valve >I worked alot with programming and source engine >Some type of depression keeps me from accepting, I force myself to hit the gym, and try to become "perfect" >Defected from birth and personal problems makes cracks in my mental state, but keep trying to become human >Tell myself i'll accept the job within 2 years >Life spirals, i withdraw, eventually develop mental illness >Now im overweight and broken person >will never work at valve
Im a broken creature screaming reeeee in pure anguish
I went to prison on terrorism charges last year. It was pretty highly publicised. That's about the only interesting thing that's happened or likely will ever happen in my life. Currently I have no friends as a result of it and will probably kill myself within a few years.
>>26468422 yeah no, she's very fucked up, just more successful than I. She shaved off half her head and she got some kind of procedure done to her eyebrows because they're twice as big as I remember them being. She looks like a Wii character. She's an insufferable hipster douche and hangs out with insufferable hipster douches
I will never forgive her for telling people I followed her to that school. I have family in the city my school was in, she had never heard of it before.
I'll try. I don't know how interesting it will be.
>born the son of a university professor (mom) and IT guy at the university (dad) >raised in a quiet, middle class neighborhood >raised Catholic, went to a Catholic school my first few years of education (I don't know what I am now, agnostic? Religion fascinates me, but I don't align myself with it) >pretty normal kid growing up in the Midwest, not much of interest to say about me until adolescence >I thought I was going to hell for a couple years because I masturbated. Imagine being 12 and feeling like you're sending yourself deeper into a pit of damnation every time you touch your ding dong >at the same time I started having compulsions towards blasphemy, and I thought the devil was trying to make me worship him >my dad left my mom when I was in middle school, and I didn't have any siblings, so it was just me and my mom a lot of the time >I was a boy scout, held a lot of positions in my troop, and became an Eagle Scout. >around my last year of high school, I became increasingly lonely, tried talking to girls but didn't get anywhere >finally, in my first year of uni, I met a girl who worked in the dining center I ate at, she was a couple years older than me >she took my virginity, and though we wouldn't know it for a couple months, I had made her pregnant >in the time between we fell deeply in love with each other >but for a couple weeks she started fainting a lot, and we discovered that she was pregnant >we discussed keeping it, but since it wasn't long enough to warrant a surgical abortion, they had prescribed her pills to abort it, and she decided to take them >then she fell into a very deep depression, and she broke up with me >she loves me, and I love her too, and we've agreed not to see anyone else until she is ready to come back. It's strange. We're more than friends now, but not in a relationship >we both think about having a family together someday There's more stuff I'd rather not tell
> be me, born in syria 1996 > come from a middle wealthy family, compared to countrymen probably rich, in the west would be considered middleclass > 2011 civil war breaks out > 2013 when daesh appears in syria the first violence of them kills my older brother cause he sympathises with kurds > 2014 it gets worse and we decide to flle the country > in autumn we are on a boat across the sea > it can't carry all the ppl on there and stars to fill with water > men jump out so women and kids can stay in and it doesnt sink to fast > bad weather, lose sight of my dad > after 40 minutes get rescued > dad drowned > cause my mom still has access to money we organize our way to germany > people welcome us but we live in filth and with scum people > sister gets raped by other refugees > one evening i get attacked by racists or something, they beat me up and piss on me > i wanna kill myself
>>26468807 The charge was dropped to attempting to obtain a biological toxin eventually and because I was just under 17 at the time I was treated as a juvenile. Both those factors meant I only got a community sentence but I spent two and a half months in a prison whilst waiting for trial.
>Born in southern alabama to meth addict parents >Dad left when I was 3, mom stopped doing meth >Very skinny as a little kid, barely ate. >Bullied constantly >Learned about computers at age 9 >Saved up money and built my first pc at 11 >Picked up programming and started making mods and games >Decided to change my life for the better before it's too late >Grade 9 get amazing grades, first gf >During summer gf's alcoholic dad gets in a car wreck, killing them both >Get depressed again, start using drugs >Tried to kill myself >Got over it eventually, but I've never been the same >Decide to make my life great in her honor >Got scholarship to decent uni
Here I am now, a bit fucked in the head, but it all turned out okay.
>>26464973 >was born with too many red blood cells and had to get a transfusion due to shortness of breath, this might be a cause of some of my behaviors >Incredibly shy child, hated being around others, my parents forced me on every single outing I've ever been on >loved books, computers, legos and math, would spend all of my free time alone doing those things >horrible insomnia issues as a child, never got tired, always had nightmares, had to sleep with the lights on until I was around 10. >my dad is a typical business man type, he expected me to be normal and he was clearly frustrated by my reluctance to get into sports, or other typical boyish things. My mom was overbearing and overprotective. I had two sisters who were generally kind to me (they were 6 and 7 years older than me) >walked on my toes and was incredibly lanky, that coupled with my lack of social desire and graces made sure I was bullied quite a bit early on in school >I eventually made three friends as a child, they are the only good friends I've ever had, I was often the butt of jokes and physical pestering, but I didn't particularly mind. >toward the end of middle school I had began to fall out with my childhood friends, they had found other people to be around and developed their own interests. >I always did well in school, especially in mathematics and science. My parents eventually decided to send me to a high school for 'gifted people' that I had to test into, I went along with it as I was being rejected by all of my peers at my middle school. I got a perfect score on the entrance test and was let into their 'honors' program >At my new school I was completely alone, this took a toll on me and started to do poorly in class. my only source of pride was my intelligence and having that shattered was what sent me spiraling into self-loathing >to cope I started stealing my dad's hydrocodone and diazepam cont.
>>26469097 >with the drugs I was able to function well enough to (sort've) get friends, eventually I joined a band (I played the guitar) with some friends and was generally less depressed(but this was only when I was high). I was finally somewhat functional socially. >eventually I get caught with the drugs, my parents were going to send me to a rehab place, but I prevented that by stating I was doing it as self medication for my depression. >they send me to a shrink instead >I hate talking about myself, and would frequently break down if asked personal questions. so my shrink couldn't get much out of me >I get put on prozac, it does nothing, and I attempt to take my life via overdose (not on the SSRI's, on opiates and alcohol). >eventually in my sophomore year of high school I completely give up on all forms of social interaction and don't talk to anyone at school. >eventually discover online gaming and 4chan and head deeper down the rabit hole. >become more socially inept and neurotic as time goes on, interacting with people basically never, and spending all of my time thinking about my hobbies and schoolwork. >this continues throughout highschool >my grades were ok in highschool, 3.5 uw GPA as well as a 33 ACT but due to lack of doing anything in high school, could not get into the prestigious schools I wanted to >settle for state university in my home city, get good scholarships and decide to major in electrical engineering >my parents demand that I get a job the summer leading up to college >work in a grocery store, it's absolute hell on earth, but I never had any issues with coworkers or managers. >I'm currently still in college, doing alright, still completely asocial. I've been abusing drug analogs that I bought of the internet so I can function in social situations. There you have it born an asocial autist, became a bitter asocial autist
>born in 1993 >grew up in a military family, went to 10 school districts in 12 years >no friends, listened to parents fight every day from the safety of my room >live through escapism >stopped going out after high school ended >neet of five years >kissless virgin >agoraphobic, severe anxiety has turned me into a shut-in >schizoid >doped up on heavy meds, still can't do anything >attempted suicide before, landed in the psych ward because of it >can't enjoy vidya or animu anymore, shitposting is all I do anymore
>>26464973 >be young me >have no friends except one girl >she was a shy girl and we kind of isolated ourselves from the rest of class >we would always sit together, eat lunch together, play chess together, etc. >she was practically the only person I ever socialized with and that has ever genuinely liked me >skip forward to last year of elementary >one day she didn't come to school >a few days later I was told she was hit and killed by a drunk driver
I couldn't even cry or anything, I was shocked. I refused to talk for a very long time and my parents beat me up over it. I have felt like a husk ever since. This fucked me up for life.
>>26469273 >PRV probably The noticeable aspect of it went away when I got the transfusion, haven't had any issues that can be directly attributed to it since but I do get a lot of headaches and some of the other symptoms, so I might still have it
I was born in the year 1995, on a warm summer's day in the state of Florida. I was not prepared for the harsh reality of the world. My father was a taxi cab driver, my mother, unemployed. We lived in my grandmother's garage. She swore and yelled at my father daily, telling him that he was good for nothing. My father worked hard to get us out of that garage, but eventually he couldn't do that line of work when he was mugged at gunpoint by a Nigerian by the name of Waka Flocka Flame. From then on, my father decided instead to become a technician at a major resort and casino, making sure the slot machines never paid out. My mother decided to homeschool me, as she did not want me going to school in schools where there was not a white majority, as it was during the time. For five years we lived in the state of Florida. Then, we moved to the state of Rhode Island, a hell hole if there ever was one...
>>26464973 >moved around a lot as a kid with family >ended up in hick town renowned for weight lifting,football,wrestling >last kid in my massive grade to hit puberty >voice didn't change until I was 18 >bullied constantly through school >get out of hick town go to college >get taller, put on 30 pounds of muscle >start fucking qt's >dad dies in my arms >I'm destroyed >qt moves in >get arrested put on probation >develop alcoholism >qt kicks me out after 3 years >life is shit looking to use exit bag >buy a plane ticket to new zealand and get a work visa >end up travelling and working for the past 3 years
Things are good now just came back to America, have a qt gf I'm moving in with in a couple months. Still a raging alcoholic though don't really get hangovers anymore just wake up still drunk and keep drinking.
>youngest in the family >4 older sisters >earliest memories of life involve watching them play SNES (specifially Super Mario) >become completely obsessed >become extremely fat >become an uncle at the age of 3 >need special help in school because i NEVER EVER EVER EVER talked >start actually playing video games as opposed to just watching them (highlight of my life) >elementary - middle school kids make fun of me for being fat and shy >become 240lbs >start losing weight but kids still make fun of me and i'm still shy >start to finally come out of my shell in high school, but because i had no experience with social interaction, i became the most socially awkward person in the school >kids made fun me more
fastforward to today >bring weight down to 130lbs >gain 30lbs back >develop a full blown eating disorder >Nintendrone >closet homosexual >college degree >no job
>Grew up in market town in England >Very good in primary school >4th highest year 6 SAT marks in the county, state school >Secondary school is shit education wise >Had some fun at least >learn to solve Rubik's cube >go to various competitions >can average 11.5 seconds now >Been on TV twice in 2007, just for a few minutes >Go from top 0.2% to just about top 40% >Drop out of sixth form >Take up some shit factory jobs temping >Save up for HGV licence >Crash my HGV in central London >go back to van driving
Other interesting things have probably happened, just can't remember them. My Grandad was pretty rich but lost loads in the 2008 crash, so he is just average middle class now.
>born in 91, be beta lardass robot my whole life >failed to get into a normal high school >first high school is useless and robs 5 years from my life >second high school is awesome, I end up with really good grades (college ready), meet my crush classmate >finished high school #2, ask out my crush, she turns me down about 7 times under the period of a year >I lose 55 kgs, she eventually gives in and we start dating >finally managed to get a job too (burger king) >end up losing the job because I didnt seem to be the right work-force (even though I Did my best I could offer) >girlfriend really digs me (we move in together in her condo that her rich parents are funding), but Im starting to lose interest, getting depressed all the time again >afraid to look for a job, but now not only my own, but even my girlfriends parents are mad at me for being a neet >keep falling back to this shitty depressing board, because I dont want to fall back to your level of low, yet it feels like I keep swimming against a very strong current.
>once when I was 8 >everything was going great >until my father he tried to kill me >by the time I was nine my daddy was doing time >and my mother had enlisted in the army >i wish my father had loved me more
>used to be happy >got depressed >got slowly killed inside >lost grip to reality >lost my emotions >lost my will to live >got dead inside the only fuckin' reason i wake up everyday is to come closer to death
>born 91' in a shitty little commie village (300~ people) >only about 10 kids in my age group >mentality is extremely macho and cynical; feelings are weakness. If you feel hurt or uncomfortable with filthy physical work you are a faggot. >parents are social-liberals who nonetheless want me to fit with the cult-like village society; punish me if I don't join the other kids' activities, rarely give me any treats so I won't be spoiled >older brother is a sociopath who beats and humiliates me, parents don't give a fuck because I gave as good as I got (gee, I wonder why I became so edgy) >until 9~ be pretty much popular good looking normie even though I don't really "get" the other guys; I'm good at playing the game and pretending to be emotionless, but have no one to really call a friend >get slightly bullied in school which is out of the village, begin to withdraw myself from company, for about an year I spend all my time after school reading children literature, become a fatty because do little physical activities >suddenly realize I became a pariah, freak out and try to reconnect with the other kids, but the tear is too deep; they don't want to hang out with me and push me away >befriend weird new kid who came to live in the village; every day after school we go around stealing and vandalizing shit, playing doom 3 >weird kid starts bantering with me calling me fat; I can't handle the banter and stop hanging with him, start going on the internet a lot and spend lots of time in the library >go to middle school with a lot of other villagers that I don't know and don't get along with, no friends, don't even get along with the geeks because they are too boring >become 2deep4u skin crawling edgy misanthrope metalhead, start thinking that I'm better than everyone, and that everyone around me are just soulless husks and not really human beings; feel completely isolated and alone in the world
>born happy >lived in a quiet rural place in the uk >moved >new highschool >hate everyone there plot to kill them all >just stop going to the school >start smoking weed everyday >high 90% of the time >get apartment >get benefits >become neet >still get high everyday all day >my short term memory is none existant >mfw im high af r n
>>26471634 >14yo fight with the other kids because I take no shit, get suicidal and wannabe school shooter, grades drop, parents finally start noticing I'm not like the other kids and that I'm constantly by myself, send me to psychologists and psychiatrists who give me anti-depressants that don't really work >frequently skip school and class because I feel like shit there, hide it from parents but they eventually find out from the teachers >get into extreme metal, nietzsche, exist in a permanent state of utter rage and hatred towards humanity and everyone around me, plan to burn school >psychologist talks to parents and they decide to throw me into a mental hospital >pointofnoreturn.exe >befriend psychos, robots and proana whores at loony bin, hate it there but at least I finally know people like me who understand suffering and being different, not automatons >my friends get released, I don't keep in touch because I don't really care about people anymore. In order to be released I pretend to be a good boy and put on a constant mask >when released go into a different highschool, get along generally well because I fake emotions and the illusion of normality 24/7 >deep inside get edgier and edgier, fantasizing about becoming a serial killer and murdering everyone who ever fucked me up >with all this drama in my life and all the school skipping I'm pretty shit education wise, but get passing grades >finally after high school try to find work but fail because I'm antisocial and don't wanna be a wagecuck, move into the city to study design >hate my college who's pull of hipsters and normies pretending to be special, hate the classes, hate everything, lost all hope in life >suicide attempt by pills and alcohol; fail and dorm mate calls the ambulance >parents bring me back home, I treat them like the trash they are for ruining my life >get autismbux for mental instability from the state, keep living at parents paying small rent, fight with them occasionaly
>>26471933 >almost never get out of house because I fucking hate everyone in this village, avoid family >be awake only at night, sleep during the day >spend most of my time on 4chins, reading all kinds of articles and books, making shitty art >parents lost hope concerning me >currently considering becoming a drifter and just travel around the world wherever the road takes me because life is meaningless, boring and despairing, and this is the only way I can think of to make things more interesting and get out of this shitty self imposed prison
Well that was my shitty life so far, forgot to include a lot of details but it's long enough as it is and probably no one is going to read it or give a shit about me so what's the point anyway.
>>26464973 >parents separated when I was little. mom caught dad going on a 'business trip' to miami. Mom gets me and moves 200 miles away. >elementary school thinks I have ass burgers and puts me in the special class. >grade school went better turns out I was just real smart. Win competitions and shit despite playing video games all day >later have oneitis for a qt when qt's friend has oneitis for me. >friends try to 'fix it' but it goes wrong and I break down in highschool with depression and paranoia >year of my life dissappears from my memory that I spent recovering on meds and in therapy >think I'm fixed, stop treatment finish highschool then go to college in the big city >first year is great I drink and party with germans, do fine >second year I'm in a dorm with assholes and I get depressed again, start failing >crash with dudes I met on the Internet but still fail >end up homeless >go back home get a job
Weird thing is right now I feel great despite being a virgin with no friends who pays his mother rent.
>>26464973 >born no father and no sibling. >everything alright before the age of 5 >behavioral problem classes >Was a little weak kid who let himself be overthrown by emotions. >get shit in school everyday by teachers, students, people and whatever >no friend, lonely, bullied cause different >HS >same shit but more intense >attempt at regular class >more problem >get into fight daily >no friend >Beat the crap out of everyone who threat on me cause tired of bullying >known as the guy with bad temper >I'm the guy you're not happy get cold dishes. >diagnosed asperger (Never believed the diagnostic. Still fight it today). >send to special ed classes again >teachers treat us like retard and make us conform to stereotype >show who's the man by breaking stereotype and rules and acting contrarian >arrive late school everyday >Beat the crap out of thief for trying to steal my stuff >managed to have a small group of friends in special class. No normie dared to show face when I was here. >do good in sport >bad at school. teacher teach us jack shit in class and were incompetent. >PE teachers hate me. Get into argument with the guy everytime. >more trouble >no fuck given >Problem with single mother >Force me to be a good dooer boy or else face consequence >act contrarian because fuck it. No cuck shit >get more trouble but still don't kneel. >People in school see me as a threat. >send to psych ward. tell the psychiatrist I'm fed up with people bullshit. >attempted to give meds >reject it cause not necessary >trying to force me again >no no no is no >parent give up >drop out school cause tired of problem. >kick out of house >Homeless, live on the street >find apartment >live on autismbux cause no education and shit. >no gf ever because never tried and girls bored me. >no hope, I'm bored with everything. Pretty challenging as a life. I'm much more relax than I used to be. I had some alpha moment but I always was a loner by nature.
>literally first memory is being horrifically burned on a third of my body >sister is a cunt as far back as I can remember and still is >grew up in a suburb >gifted child but too fucked up to take advantage of it >kicked out of my school after the 2nd grade for fighting >socially autistic, never really had friends past the age of 12 >in the 7th grade I went to a reform school for 2 years >go back to normal school, graduate early >do a series of shit jobs in early adulthood, move in with a roommate >roommate gets v& and we both get evicted >move back in with parents >working at plastic plant, trying to move out again
>grew up as a nerd >everyone else my age was making friends, riding bike, playing baseball and having fun outside >I was in the basement tinkering, reading, studying, coding >withdrew even further after internet access at age 12 >tried being a class clown to gain friends. didn't work, at all >eventually moved schools, went into college a year early >withdraw socially even further, became painfully shy >eventually got to the point where I just wouldn't go to class, stopped talking to anyone online, wouldn't come out of my bedroom unless everyone else was gone or asleep >to this day I can't remember talking to any classmates in college or grad school about anything >gave in, saw a psychiatrist, took anti-anxiety medication >slowly connected with old friends, made new ones >was able to present thesis work at an honest-to-god conference >graduated somehow, managed to land a job at a fuckhuge software company >moved to Seattle, rented an expensive apartment downtown, paid off all debt in six months >design, build and maintain all sorts of services used by millions of customers >world-class peers, chill boss, $100k/yr + stock + benefits >developing all sorts of cool software helping further the business on the side
>it's been three years and I'm -still- too shy to get out of my apartment except for work, meet people, make friends or any of that
>>26464973 nobody is going to read this but whatever, this is how i got to where i am now. >born in europe as a single child >move to canada at 4 years old >very shy and have difficulty connecting with people >'class clown' through elementary school >regardless feel like im ostracised by the rest of the class because I don't play any sports >go into middle school >dad makes me join a team because I am barely passing any of my courses and they doubt I will finish highschool >have to go every week even to out of school practise where I am a complete introvert and everybody knows i dont belong there >very few friends but they are relatively cyborgs with no gfs, constant passive aggressive tension I start getting depressed >get into highschool with sufficient grades somehow >start going home for lunch second year so friendship with my sole 3-4 friends starts waning >almost cut contact completely with two of my friends because they never try and reach out to me >senior year manage to bring my average from 50-60 in middle school to 85-90 senior year somehow >try and recoup friendship with the people i havent talked to in a while but its painfully awkward >only 2 close friends who i still keep in contact with 1 weeb who thinks im gay and actively mocks me for not haveing a gf >and another super nice normie best friend >start uni with nobody I know >talk to nobody first year >only hang out with said 2 friends once every 6 months >the nice friend is moving this week i tell my parents ill probably die alone and they are always so shocked
>make a rap song because I was a nigger in disguise and it was fun to make music idk >people in school always told me it was good >even my friends said it was cool >not really my friends, they just act like it. they never want me to hang out with them outside of school and sometimes even in it >make another shitty rap song explaining how I feel >"wow dude your music was always bad" >"you're right, we never were friends" >drop everything and school >no one to live with >neetbux
Been a social retard my whole life. Went to literal sperg school during my freshmen and sophomore years, then I went to a normal school and failed again at integrating with the normie population. Realized I had enough credits to graduate a year early if I took on another class so I did and got the fuck out of there.
It's getting better though. Actually have a friend now and am about to move to Utah from Arizona. Kicking myself out of the nest, so to speak.
1/2 >born in germany >dad is a german professor, had a research grant and was studying for his phd there >don't remember anything until about age 2 >lived in illinois >was chill for a while >had older brother with eye problems >had younger sister >move to charleston south carolina >five years old >beach every day >bretty gud.jpeg >don't remember much >move to michigan >start kindergarten >neighbors were pakistani, had awesome paki snacks all the time >obsessed with egypt and archaeology >move to germany again (seeing a pattern here?) >live there for two years >probably the best place I've lived >had a basically free range childhood there >walked everywhere >lived by a massive forest/field/playground area >10/10 >move to arkansas >things start going downhill >my dad hates his job there >stay two years >am exposed to concepts like sex and swearing >get placed in the "gifted and talented :^)" program >basically just go outside and look at stuff all day >time to move again >go to rexburg idaho >it's 96-98% mormon >i'm mormon too >uh oh >3 years this time >kind of like it >then realize what a massive beta kuck i was >start whacking off and looking at weird anime porn around this time >tbqh the 2nd chillest time of my life >mormonville isn't so bad >leave again, i'm in the middle of junior high
>>26473587 2/3 (I lied) >go to north dakota >ending middle school >make all kinds of raunchy jokes at school, act all goody around the house >terrible acne since 7th grade that wouldn't clear up until freshman year >8th grade: chillest time of my life yo >start running with my dad >next fall join cross country team of my school >10/10 >really love it >tons of people like me >girls that actually want to talk to me >thumb_and_forefinger_emoji.png >orbit this middle eastern girl for the first half of freshman year >redpill myself after christmas break >dropped m8 >only alpha time of my life comes >track season, freshman year >go from beta kuck to self-confidant, cool dude >from about february to july of that year is the best part of my life so far >make a really strong friendship with two guys on the team >we do everything together >summer comes >I crush on a gril on the team >summon all of my repressed betaness, convert it into energy, and ask her out >she says yes >for all of one night I feel good >next day she tells me that she's gonna bring her friends along >wat >it turns into a girl's night out with me beta-ing in the back >leave after 15 minutes, buy mtn dew, and reeeeeee >think about ways to do it over during the month of july >a cross country camping trip is at the end >four girls (incl. my then oneitis) and me and my two friends start texting each other and calling each other homies >start forming a good relationship with gril >go on camping trip >it's really great >on day 4 have first kiss with gril that's the high point of my life. it gets worse from here.
>>26473608 3/3 >learn later that she was disgusted by it and washed her mouth out >go home >did I mention I'm moving again? >move to alabama the day the camp ends >it wrecks me >miss friends daily >previously repressed depression comes roaring back >lose it >try to kill myself with a knife in my bathtub >pussy out and go to sleep >become psychotic >derealization and all that >hate myself >lose friends >best friend starts dating oneitis >no friends for the rest of school >eat alone every day >become a robot >graduate last year >leave for college did you think that this is where it gets better? you're wrong >college is more of the same >Still hate myself >still psychotic >still no friends >virgin >never had gf >can't talk about some of this on r9k without being reee'd out of town >too normal for here >too weird for real life >have accepted my future wizard status/suicide as inevitable that's it, i guess. nobody will read this and the thread will die right after i hit post. good night r9k. i can't find anyone to care about me even on a board designed for losers and outcasts.
> Start junior high school a loner > End junior high a loner > Start high school a loner, but go to a school for the arts because the tv/radio classes were off the hook (3 girls to 1 boy ratio at this school) > walk the hallways evry lunch to make it look like I had somewhere to go. Plan my route to spend the most time walking without walking past the same spot twice > end up waking past a group of girls from drama class > "Hey you're Anon from drama! Come sit down with us!" > Sit down and talk because nothing better to do > Go there first thing the next day > End up crushing hard on a couple of them but one of them confesses to me a few months later ... 10 years later, here we are engaged. I know not everyone can make it brahs, but I'm pretty lucky and I hope that one day you all will be too.
>>26466998 10/10 interesting Here we go oh boy gonna make this quick as possible
>Conceived, Ireland, when parents are 40+ >Born Straya >Father is WW2 refugee, from slavland, his father fought the serbs & was an abusive drunk >Mother is from Irish alcohol abusive family, fucking psycho bitch >Have 4 older sisters, none of them useful >Highly dysfunctional 'family' >I was never taught or bought anything, e.g hygiene, posture, manners, swim, bike, drive, etc. >Reading fluently in kindergarten, potential genius but no-one gave a shit so here I am >FF to HS >Sheltered af kid, no friends apart from my sisters N64 while every other kid had an xbox 360 >Talking shoes, broken school bag, odd socks, dirty uniform everyday >Socially awkward, still topping classes and shit without trying or doing homework or studying >Make a youtube channel in year 8 (was 14), just doing autistic stuff >My alias was simply my initials, everyone finds about it, bullied and harassed about it for years >Tried an heroing, started smoking weed, not going to school, drinking, being rebellious >Be 17, finally hit puberty, turn life around, become popular at school somehow >Get into martial arts (again) really good at tkd and boxing (thanks testosterone) >Get into sports at school, not alot to do but graduate HS Sport Champion (thanks slav genes) >Be me now, 19, 6'3, gaining weight almost ottermode, joining the army >Tfw no gf
>>26464973 >Born to a single mother >Despite that, she tries pretty fucking hard and is an okay mother >Her mother, who babysat me for years, is absolutely batshit >My mom is beta af >Family history of crazy old money, lots of mental illness, lots of murder/suicide/criminal history, all white collar or batshit crimes >We moved a ton, Grandmother was really abusive (bit me, for example) >Lots of weird shit happens to my family, including a run in with the Jewish mafia >Eventually we lose all income (mother had had a job that brought 70k a year in before that), are homeless for a few years >About now, 12ish, I go to the doctor for a poor person's illness, find out I'm intersex, fucked up chromosomes, etc >It's corrected, go on with life >Still homeless on and off >Eventually get a house in Texas, landlords literally cultists >Move out, homeless on and off again, live in a car for a while >Move to Michigan after a while, landlords gypsies >Get kicked out, now live in my own apartment above mumsie with a female roommate >Lots of other shit like creepy old houses, run ins with the law, drug addiction, animal hoarding, etc. occured on and off through all of that >Currently a drug addict, ex-alcoholic in a house full of taxidermy who works at a 100 -year-old movie theater that has homeless break ins all the time
>Despite all of that still fucking boring as shit >No hobbies, no friends in real life, no mutual interests with online friends
>>26468135 Hm. So you're the guy who posts the filipina girl threads. I'm guessing that girl is also the one who you used to be in a relationship with.
It's strange, I've seen those threads for months and now I finally hear the story behind it.
Human nature is a strange, terrible thing. We can't be happy with those who love us without reason because instinct tells us that we can find a higher quality mate. Yet at the same time, as humans we desire love and affection. I'd even go so far as to say it's as basic a need as oxygen or water. The entire species is just one long line of individuals facing forward, each person admiring another only to see their back, the one they love facing another person's back.
I wish I could tell you it gets better but I'm probably no older than you, trying to figure out where all of this is headed myself.
>>26464973 >parents divorce when I was a baby >both are massive alcoholics >father attacks me at age 6 or 7 and never see him again >mother is the only person in my life >she's either gone or drunk as hell >end up with no friends because mother doesn't want to be social or drive to them >start having a hard time talking to or even trusting others >food and video games end up my comfort and way to forget my troubles >become fat enough where I'm made fun of by kids and even adults >mother loses her job >I drop out of school in 10th grade >lose the house >move to shit neighborhood >get a job >come home one day to see the collection of video games I had from when I was little is completely gone as well as the consoles >move out of that shithole >mom drinks so much she almost dies of alcohol poisoning twice >lose job because boss passes away >my cat dies >try getting out of my comfort zone and make friends from /v/ >learn about other people's lives through this and want to become a stronger person myself >start losing weight (was over 350 lbs) >feel happy for the first time in a long time >it slowly sinks in that my body is completely destroyed and I'm going to be hideous anyway >cry every night like a puss
I'll still try being sort of normal and get a job as soon as I lose a little more weight. I've lost at least 130 lbs and it could have been around 20 lbs more. My mother stopped drinking, but she's going to die anyway because her liver is so far gone and she doesn't go to the doctor or even attempt to eat healthy.
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