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>Who's your Valentine, anon?
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 199
Thread images: 68
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>Who's your Valentine, anon?
>Show us a picture, I bet she's really pretty!
>>
We are going to go to a Mexican place in the evening. Pic related
>>
I don't have anyone because I'm inferior and you all know it. So fuck you, cunts. You all know you'd rather drink hot lead than have anything to do with me.
>>
why dont you one of you fucking bitches be my valentine then or something since you're so goddamnit big on this holiday apparently.
>>
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>>26462865
>You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was too low in content (0.00% content).
>You have been muted for 4 seconds, because your comment was not original.
>You have been muted for 8 seconds, because your comment was not original.
god damn the robot doesn't like eggy
>>
I don't have a valentine because nobody loves me :(
>>
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>>26462865

>that chad in the background smirking at you
>>
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>>26462933
tee-hee! I'd totally go with with you if I wasn't fucking 6 chads that day! Hehe
>>
>>26462865
ur moms
all of them
>>
*smirks confidently and shows them a mirror*
>>
Literally how the fuck do you escape a situation like this? Just pull up a random pic on google?
>>
>>26463037
hehh, nothin personel kid
>>
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T-this is my valentine. Asked her out in a lecture. Wish me luck :( :(
>>
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Just show them a picture of your valentine and move on, fag.
>>
>>26463044
tell the truth. Normies like to feel good about themselves trying to help out the less fortunate robots.
>>
>>26462865
Yesterday she told me it was 'inappropriate' for me to talk to her.

Said that to me then quickly walked away. Said it with a straight face she did.
>>
>>26463044

get the fuck out

just run out the nearest exit as fast as you can
>>
>>26463044
Just tell them is none of their business.
>>
>>26463157
>Hey anon no offense but it kinda looks like a slut teeheee!
>A cute and well mannered guy like you deserves better!
>>
>>26462865
>dat pic
friendly reminder: rape is illegal and you would be punished for it. Have a nice day.
>>
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>>26462865
yeah my waifu is really pretty
>>
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>>26463297
Say that to my face, not over the internet, and see what happens.
>>
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>"Come on Anon, show us your girlfriend"
>You do have a girlfriend, don't you?
>>
>>26463011
I think this is what makes the picture so intense.

The Chad knows you're fucked and he's relishing in it.
>>
>>26463202
Wait...so were you accused of rape? Seems like it.
>>
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>Last Valentines day
>Parents out of town, only me, my brother and his girlfriend there (14 and 16 years old I am 24 at the time)
>Wake up in the afternoon and go downstairs
>Hear a strange shuffling noise coming from the kitchen
>Turn the corner
>14 year old brother is standing against the counter
>His 16 year old girlfriend is sucking his dick
>He is eating a cupcake that she has baked for him
>Bunch of other cupcakes sitting on the table
>they both look at me uncomfortable
>I want to get my lays chips from the cupboard but he is standing in the way
>his girlfriend says something like 'I thought you said he never left his room'
>really fucking hungry
>look at the cupcakes again
>they are delicious looking
>walk over to them without breaking eye contact with my brother whose girlfriend is still bent down
>grab one of the cupcakes
>lick the icing
>'w-w-wow I am glad this isn't my bros jizzo'
>silently turn and go back upstairs
>hear brother say 'I'll smash his head in later, just keep sucking'
>ate my cupcake and stayed in my room until 9pm then went and bought Wendy's
>>
My valentine is at home with Tyrone and Jamal, ladies. Tonight is HER night and I'll make sure she enjoys it to its fullest!
>>
>>26463772
I would have shot my brother and then held the gun to the whore's head and made her fuck me.
>>
>>26462865
hold up a mirror and say "all of you are my valentine"
then i pull out a pistol and shoot myself
>>
Congrats to anyone who does have someone to celebrate tomorrow with. Smile and be happy
>>
>>26463382

Le picture, le triggers
>>
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>Well I don't have one actually
>Aww, I don't have one either, how about we go to the movies
LET A MAN DREAM.
>>
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>>26462865
the purest girl at the table
>>
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But of course! Took this one yesterday. Ain't she lovely?
>>
>>26463772
Man...this would honestly make me want to kill myself.
>>
"I dont want to talk about it. How are you ladies doing? You all look so nice today. Where are your boyfriends?"
>>
>>26463772
This fills me with eternal rage just reading this
>>
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>>26462865
That would be her
pls no bully
>>
>>26464260

She has been taking cocks since she was 13 years old you fucking idiot.
>>
>I-I-I don't h-have one.
>>
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>>26462865
Here she is, we're having dinner together.
>>
>>26462865
The only way out is by saying that all the pics you have are nsfw and you don't want to embarrass her. It's a reasonable excuse plus shows you're getting some.
>>
>>26464358
She looks cute. I bet she'll give great head heuheuehueheuheuheueheuheuheuehueheu
I think she's related to my valentine
>>
my e-gf will be sad if i show you her picture
>>
>>26464150
>tfw no local abandoned warehouses to just chill in
>>
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>>26463020
rare spurdo sparde acquired
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>>26464358
is that lipstick?
>>
>>26462865
>valentines?!
>I don't have a valentine you crazy fucks

or

>look up pic
>show 2D WAIFU
>>
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>>26464641
Here are some nudes, don't tell her I posted em ;)
>>
>>26463189
>help out
that's an odd way to say "kick while down"
>>
Yeah, he is pretty cute.

*shows picture of him sucking my cock since it's the only one I've taken with my new phone (my old one was stolen on the tube in Paris but encrypted and locked so no worries)*
>>
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I like her because she is cheap, no need to buy her gifts. she is always in the mood when I am. We enjoy watching porn together. Best thing is after sex she will play vidya with me as long as i want.
>>
>>26464641
Yeah, but you gotta put it in a special lipstick gun to apply it. Just press your lips together and blow.
>>
>>26464798
What are you doing for Palm Sunday?
>>
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>show them this image
>maintain eye contact and act completely serious
>>
>>26465031
i like ur womyn :-Ddd
>>
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No valentine per se.. but I will be sticking my dranguss into some qt's pic related before I serve it up with a big grin on my face.
>>
>>26462865
this picture literally makes me sweat so much
>>
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>>26462865
Yeah, prettier than any of you stupid fucking sluts could ever be.
We're going to invade and annex your houses, and ship you to the remote island where we keep the commies
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>>26463772
Did he beat you up though?
>>
>>26465916
No, they left that night to go out
>>
A qt 3.14 girl asked me to see deadpool with her on valentines day, but never explicitly said it was a date. Is it a date?
>>
>>26465943
Yes it is anon. If you have to ask, well then there is no hope.
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>>26465943
Yes, its a date.
>>
>>26462865
That feel when they all have as much personality combined as a potato.
>>
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>>26463382
>tfw feel anxious just looking at this image
>>
Why do all those girls look practically the same to me? Am I genuinely autistic and can't tell faces apart?
>>
>>26463772
Why didn't you just tell them to get the fuck out of your way?
>>
>>26462865
here is my valentine
>>
>>26462865
>>26463382
Just get out and never come back. These pictures give me trigger.
>>
>>26462865
Numbered from left to right: 1,5,3,2,4
>>
>>26462865
Why do I feel like they can watch me through my computer screen?
>>
>>26462865

I'd show you a picture, but that would violate Rule 15.
>>
Show them this and run away
>>
>>26465916
His brother was like 14, his idea of a fight is probably obnoxiously pushing somebody and flailing about like a retard.
>>
>>26465943
She might just make you an orbiter.
>>
>>26463382
Jesus Christ...why are groups of girls so fucking intimidating?? Just one is bad enough, but a whole group is enough to stop all mental capacities.
>>
>>26467057
>Just one is bad enough, but a whole group is enough to stop all mental capacities.

Try being in a group of girls every day of the week...It's exhausting. I'm the only male in my program. (Social Work..)
>>
>>26465943
>deadpool
Drop her
>>
>>26467086
How the hell do you do it, man? It would be a nonstop spaghetti fest for me.
>>
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>tfw you remember the time in high school you texted your oneiis happy valentines day but you weren't going out
>>
>>26463311
b...but she's mine.
>>
I can't, it's anonymous. And besides I shouldn't even like her. She part of a basketball team that's really good, but really mean and back-handed.
>>
This is violence. You're being violent towards me. I am being harrassed.
>>
>>26462865
"Oh, you want to know who my Valentine is?"
>pulls out a picture of Rainbow Dash
>they laugh at me
"Heh. You fucking sluts are all the same..."
>unsheaths katana
>teleports behind them
>slices them in half
>sheaths katana
"Pssh. Nothing personnel, kid."
>>
>>26463065
How'd she respond bitch
>>
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>>26467326
Oh...
>18009955247
>>
I feel fucking great being alone knowing that for this holiday monogamy is still in effect so that means some roastie out there is going alone because she couldn't find a Chad to take her out for Valentine's.
>>
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>>26462865
Prettier than any of you.
>>
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Here you go.

I'm planning on taking the shortcut towards seeing her as well.
>>
I'd tell the fucking truth:

>"I don't have a valentine because I'm not physically attractive."
>"Don't say that anon/<insert empty, meaningless platitude>"
>"No, you don't understand, that wasn't a cry for help, that was me acknowledging the reality of my situation. It simply is what it is at this point."
>"I know a girl who'd be totally into you, anon."
>"Save it. No need to drag innocent people down with me. I'm simply unattractive. That's the end of it."
>"Looks aren't everything anon."
>"Let's be honest, they might as well be."

You can imagine how it goes from there.
>>
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r8 my valentine and I
>>
>>26462865
No matter how many times I see this picture I never cease to be amazed at how you can immediately tell they are from the UK without any real concrete reason
>>
>>26467516
What an effeminate fag. I'd love to bully you and take your grill
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>>26463382
>i-i jjust broke up with her, i don't want to talk about it.
>>
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>>26467451
>"Don't say that anon/<insert empty, meaningless platitude>"

This angers me to no fucking end when normies do this. They KNOW when you're ugly/undesirable but they feel the need to patronize you to make themselves feel like a good person. I hate normies so fucking much.
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>>26462865
>that chad loling at you
literally i just born to be mocked
>>
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>>26467566
Whatever you say, turbonerd.
>>
>>26467622

Indeed. Fucking hate this shit. They damn well know the truth, but choose to hide from it. I don't. Equally as infuriating are the guys that start preaching "game". Just fucking lol.
>>
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>>26462865
Yeah a real looker. I can't wait to pound.
>>
>urn my phone around and show them this picture
>directed by m knight shymalal
>>
>tfw I just show them a picture of my hand
>>
"She's here at the table. You guys are so rude.. Give me a kiss baby."
>>
>>26467845
Lucky bastard. Finish the last of my Jameson lat night. Might go out tonight and get some McCallan.
>>
>>26467020
I dunno man, he was getting a blowie and had food made for him, i'd say he's alpha enough to know to fight.
>>
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>>26467451
>I know a girl who'd be totally into you

this angers me so fucking much, i'm pretty sure they have a grudge aganist said girl and are bumping her with me to make fun of her
>>
>>26468140
Not to mention he was dating a grill two years older than him at that age. Sounds like he hit the genetic jackpot. Propably could've kicked that faggot's ass, but decided to spare him.
>>
>>26467622
>>"Don't say that anon/<insert empty, meaningless platitude>"

>tfw girls have been saying this to me for years and still nothing

To be fair, would you prefer an awkward silence and knowing that they agree with you? Feels a bit better than "Mm, yeah, you're probably right Anon, you're really not good looking."

>tfw you want someone's honest opinion on something and realise immediately after asking that there is no way they would actually give it because it would require them to come across as rude
>>
her name is Bridgette, i met her on the internet, she's a girl,
>>
She's right here! *pulls out mirror* Will u b my valentine?
>>
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i expected more animu when i clicked this thread
>>
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So /r9k/ who would you chose to be your valentine?
1 is the patrician choice
>>
>>26462865
Does this mean I have to show my waifu to them ?
Fuck Stacies, they would probably leaugh, normies can't understand 2D feels.
>>
>>26468810
>Be anon
>Can't see the Aposematism
>Doesn't pick waifumaterial n2 and picks n1
>unironically

Cuck
>>
>>26468810
>non-natural hair colour
Huge red flag
>>
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>>26463382
i-i-i uh... uh. *fuck*
>>
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>>26468810
>patrician choice
>hair dyed pink
It's obviously 3, you big faggot
>>
>>26468810
2 without question

Was unoriginal
>>
Display picture of my right hand.
>>
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>>26462865
>HA. But no, I'm single. If I buy any chocolate, I'm eating it.
It's not a big deal.
>>
>>26464150
>Sure! What moive do you want to see?
>Oh.., i only meant that as a joke anon...
>M-me too
>>
>no one
>what do you mean no one anon?
>N-O O-N-E. Got it?
>but why's that?
>cuz reasons
>what reasons anon? Talk to us
>reasons that I dont want to talk about
>c'mon anon tell us. I know we can help you!
>why bother? Its not gonna help, nothing has helped to this date
>surely there's something. Lets start: ike what is a thing about that you like about yourself?
>nothing
>please anon stop lying to us
>no, I mean it! I hate everything about myself because <some reason>
>but we are here to help you anon
>yea, sure now you are "helping" when I'm in this situation
>etc.
>etc.
That's pretty much how I think it would go.
>>
>>26462865
Punch the one on the left in the face, vomit on the right one, and kiss the one in the middle. Then run into a ditch and sleep.
>>
>>26463065
>T-this is my valentine.
You better be ripped/rich/extremely charismatic because she is above average.
>>
>>26462865

The girl on the far left would look REALLY hot if she didn't have that stupid pink hair
>>
>>26463772
>Brother doesn't understand you're different
>Not asking for a cupcake
>Not tag teaming his gf
Shit family
>>
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>>26463382
I would shit myself with fear if that were me :|
>>
>>26468810
>Chad isn't numbered
Seriously though all those women would go crazy for cock
>>
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She's nice, big nerd too.
>>
>>26467326
shit was cash senpai
>>
>>26468810
#4 is best grill
>>
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>>26463382
The lighting of that image is fucking my eyes up
>>
>>26469857
>She's nice, big nerd too.

>Party #2 tonight
>Cock #5 tonight
>>
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>>26469857
>big nerd
>party tonight
>>
>>26464319
How does it feel having the most average taste on /r9k/?
>>
>>26468810
The qt between 3 and 4.
>>
>>26469857
lmaooo prepare for the cucking
>>
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>>26462865
She certainly is!
>>
>>26463382
what the fuck is wrong with me, why does this pic trigger me?
How can you be that scared of people, I fucking hate it. Of course it's worse if they're women
>>
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>>26462865


RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[ Original Comment ]

[ N I G G E R ]
>>
>>26469857
>nerd

as if that word means anything now. my fuckin grandma likes Star Wars.
>>
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Asking the important questions in life'..
>>
>>26464279
dat refined classly neetdom
you sir are a god amongst men
>>
>>26468810
Anyone who doesn't pick 2 is an idiot.
>>
>>26468810
1,3 and 5 are the only acceptable choices.

Anything else and you're a faggot.
>>
>>26471045
fuck out with your 9gag tier humor
>>
>>26471045
what the fuck is this? Get out.
>>
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If only she would talk to me..
>>
>>26463382
tfw I wouldn't date any of them
>>
>>26465943
She wants to peg you. Happy international women's day/
>>
>>26463382
I don't know how anyone can be comfortable in this situation.

Even all the roasties around that table must be on edge, as there's so much bitchiness/back-stabbing going on in that group alone.
>>
>>26467525
Not really seeing it myself.
>>
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>>26462865
Here's the pic you asked for.
>>
>>26468810
Three through five seem like they'd be the easiest to get along with so one of them. I'm partial to five though for some reason.
>>
The closest two on the left and the one in front on the right are definitely anime fans. The two in the back are sisters of two of the weebs, the ones they're sitting next to.
>>
>>26463382
Nope, I'm single. And then I'd ask if any of them could help me with that and if they knew any good bars to grab a drink nearby
>>
>>26463772
wow what a fucking asshole
you should've beat his ass
>>
>>26462865
>takes picture of the pink/blonde girl
>shows everyone.
>>
>>26464260
She looks like she dragged you there in an attempt to make you more social.
>>
>>26470682
hey Achmed, can I get a kebab?
>>
>>26462865
oh, uh... she doesn't really believe in pictures
she feels that pictures prevent people from living in the moment

it's a fucking lie, of course. I have no one
>>
>>26474139
>oh, uh... she doesn't really believe in pictures
That's worse than saying you don't have someone since it shows you care.
>>
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>>26462865
>>26474139
she lives in north korea. they don't allow cameras there.
>>
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>>26473502
>Omg! What a creeper!
>>
>>26474095
Do you want white sauce or BBQ with that? Also, chips or no chips? ;)
>>
>>26468810
In this order -
3, 5, 2, 1, 4
>>
>>26471045
FUCKING NORMAL FAG GET OFF OF MY BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
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>>26462865
>>26463382

>She

He's cuter than you bitches.
>>
>>26463065

Fuck you normie AHHHHHHHH REEE REE REEEE fucking cunt
>>
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here's her original picture
>>
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>>26463772

>'I thought you said he never left his room'

How did you manage to hold back from calling her a whore or shoving her face back onto his monster dong?
>>
>>26470524
>>26470745
Eh, idc i'm in there as well.

>>26470601
>>26470995
Yeah, it's come to mean less but atleast social media and cucking boys isn't her only interests yknow?
>>
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h-here she is !!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
I would do just about anything to talk to a nice girl who likes anime and isn't mean. I do have something of an internet imouto though, so that might be able to help me calm down. I'll probably still spend all day looking for a girl to talk to online though.
>>
>>26463382
No, I am gay.
>>
>>26475895
you dont have a bf either
>>
>>26468259
But it's a 24 year old vs a 14 year old


Unless the 24 year old is a manlet or a twig, and the 14 year old is a giant, I think the fight is in the 20 year old's favor
>>
>>26475891
hi anon-kun
>>
>>26462865
Pic related my Valentine

I love you guys
>>
>>26462865
Tbh these threads don't annoy me anymore, they just make me sad
>>
Managed to get a date at the last minute, but she wants to go out in the middle of the day. What is there to even do then?

Help.
>>
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>>26476198
You can always GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD NORMALSCUM
>>
>"She really is"
>Show them OPs picture of themselves
>Wait, anon... how did you... when did you take that?
>"ZIM ZIM ZALLABIM!"
>Hold my breath really hard and force out air so the pressure builds up high enough for me to faint
>Lay there until they all go away
>>
>>26476231
Wow gee, stale meme my friend. What's it been, two years since that was popular?
>>
>>26476268
>implying it's a meme
>implying you shouldn't get the fuck off this board
>implying you're not normal trash
>>
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>>26476045
Hello.
I don't understand why you responded to my post.
>>
>>26462865
I know that these threads are a joke sometimes but my older sister and her friends used to fuck with me in this way cause they knew I was a fucking loser
>>
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One of my coworkers asked me to be her "work valentine" today

what does that mean
>>
>>26476531
It means she wants to have work sex but for that day only.
>>
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>>26476594
Wow! Can't wait until tomorrow thanks bud!
>>
>>26476167
Naruto (dub) DUB DUB ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
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>>26476756
No problem, friend. Enjoy the sex!
>>
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>>26476852
You mean the work sex, yes? I hope you're not fucking with me here buckaroo
>>
>>26463772
you're a really positive person
>>
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>>26476893
I'd never tell a lie to a fellow robot, friendo. Great work sex is coming your way!
>>
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>>26477033
wow thanks friendo i'll make sure to update you and let you know how it goes!
>>
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>>26477083
Awesome, kiddo! Enjoy having sex in the work place!
>>
>nah
>oh okay
originalissimo
>>
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>>26477138
Oh I think I will enjoy it my friend i'll take lots of pictures and maybe even send a postcard!
Thread replies: 199
Thread images: 68
Thread DB ID: 510174



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