Life is only scary because you're on the outside looking in. Try participating and you'll understand life isn't scary at all. Most people are really stupid. and if you can just grow a pair and join society, you'd see that life really isn't all that bad. People dumber than you are successful at life.
>>26451691 if you feel like anime is the best way for you to relate to your feelings, why not immerse yourself in to? not just ur toes, but your entire being. become a weeb who knows what he likes and is too blinded and distracted by his happiness to even consider what a normie has to say.
im telling you, if i had the money, i would have absolutely no problem playing MMORPG's, star gazing, working out, playing instruments, and studying. I could literally live with just these things in my life.
It all becomes so much clear once you find that thing or those things, that makes you happy. People don't make you happy, only you can.
>>26451975 >What do you really want, anon? I think about this every single day.
I want to be wanted. I want to have a tangible positive impact on someone's life. I want someone to care about me like I care about them. But it's never gonna happen, so I just drown myself in fiction and try not to care.
>>26449172 You don't understand how it works. I'm not sure if it's life itself. It could be this world, or this society. Calling this life may even be wrong considering the definition.
What I'm sure of however is this is prison. Once you understand the full consequences of it you won't care anymore. We're all stuck in this prison. Other people cope with it in different ways. Sometimes that involves making you feel bad.
I'm sure I could describe it better if I could concentrate for more than a few seconds at a time.
I could also be wrong, as all is subjective. The right thing to say would be this is how I cope with "living" in this place.
Because we look for meaning in a universe where none exist.
I know that sounds edgy, but it's the truth. People navigate the world via purpose, and when that is taken away, when they have to deal with finding purpose in an infinitely deep hole of none-purpose, it's really scary. Just the way people are, familia
>>26452588 You have to realise that meaning is not an inherent property of objects. It is a property that we assign to our model of objects. It's what we use to understand and comprehend an object, it is not the object itself. Basic philosophy imo, has nothing to do with fedoras m80
Guys I'm scared. I might be getting a job where I'd have to wake up at 5am or 6am in the morning. I'd be making over $16 an hour because i have a mental disability. (anxiety & depression) I'll probably be doing menial tasks like giving people their mail and doing yard work.... BUT IM SO SCARED BECAUSE OF THE EARLY TIME! I normally go to bed around 3:30am and get up around 11:30am.. how am I going to do this...
>>26452824 You'll get used to it. If you try that is. If instead you don't even bother to think about what you should do to make life easier on your future self. If you just stay up to 3:30 am again it will be hell for you.
>>26452824 I won't lie friend, that shit is going to be tough. Go to Walmart and get the strawberry flavored 3mg chewable melatonin pills (which, annoyningly enough, are in a purple bottle). They will leave you with less drowsiness than the regular melatonin, and are still a lot better than other, harder sleeping pills. You'll also have some really vivid dreams. Take one at about 8PM the night before and go to bed no more than fifteen minutes later. Set every alarm you can find, alarm clocks, your phone, your computer, etc. Switch the alarms up often. Things like really annoying music, babies crying, air raid sirens, etc work really good at waking me up. Still, it's going to be hell for the first couple of months. You're not going to want to go to sleep on time and it's going to fuck everything up, but you're going to have to learn that you will just feel shittier the next day.
I thought I felt i had fucked my brain up once so hard I almost died when I smoked some weed, shit was so intense it felt like my brain was being drained of all its electricity or blood going down inside my head. happened twice now that im schizophrenic its quite the experience.
>>26453092 I swear to I felt slow motion, almost dying of sadness, and rapid heartbeating like heart attack. >>26453115 I smoked cris before experimentally and thats when all the hallucinations began for me, it made me extremely paranoid at first then began hearing shit.
Thanks for the motivation and advice guys. I really need it. I'm an evening janitor for a school only getting paid minimum and it's so depressing working there but the schedule is nice so I can sleep in late.
I'm going to start working on my sleep schedule tomorrow. It's a contracted job at a govt facility. It's 35min drive to get there which sucks too. But I guess the pay is good enough for me to try.
>>26452953 I'll be trying that melatonin drink you mentioned for sure. I probably won't have issues waking up because of anxiety but going to sleep will be the biggest issue.
>>26453148 Tbh depending on your socioeconomic and health background, if you havent smoked or dont smoke at all even cigarettes why not stop entirely and do other things like working out?
>>26453168 I forgot to say while all this crazy feelings are happening and shit im hearing a voice in my head thats clearly telling me to do shit and play a mind game with myself or them and sometimes the voices are extremely fucking up your concentration.
I tried that inhaling that keyboard duster, the slow motion effect wasn't quite the same and without that bass voice you get.
basically I got convinced by hallucinations to go driving nonstop somewhere and I felt slow motion while driving and once when I was on foot, I only got high but my hallucinations were pretty strong at the time.
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