I tried to write some cruel shit to you in these. It never posted and I got 503 errors instead. I'm never going to not miss you. I wish we'd been on better terms when you died. My love for you only deepens, as does my hatred for myself. There's an undeniable urge to join you, but I don't deserve anything that peaceful yet. If there's any kind of existence beyond life, then I have to earn seeing you again. Smell you later, Rachel.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. If i still keep my job i have to leave because i can no longer trust any of my teammates for support now. Fuck you. Fuck you.Fuck you. You are perpetuating the soulless manipulation that keeps everyone under control against their will. Fuck you you fucking fuckitty fuck fuck. I hope you continue veung a fnt of misery to bestow upon everyone. I don't want you to feel guilty for me. I want you to feel guilty for how you are doing your job. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Dear R, I understand you don't see what you do as wrong but it is and it hurts. It really sucks because you'd be almost perfect otherwise. Besides the fact that we share almost none of the same opinions. Oh well, Good luck with the rest of your life then.
Dear H, I miss you. I really miss you. I shouldn't have let so much distance grow between us but now it's way too late. I'm never gonna so much as hug you again am I? Are you happy with him? You don't look that happy anymore. It kills me inside to see you look so apathetic all of the time but I'm too ashamed to speak to you again. I hope the rest of your life goes well without me.
>>26442320 SR, Back in highschool, when we were young, I asked you out. You turned me down, and went with someone who had the same name as me, but who at the time, was better. I accepted it and remained your friend. Then again, as we grew, and you broke up with him, I asked you out again, only to turned down. Instead you went with someone who looked like me. I accepted this, and remained your friend.
Now, as life begins to unfold, you have parted with yet another partner. It's been harsh, and I am here for you as a friend. You've been making moves. Asking me to go away with you. I'm not sure if you still don't want me or not.
And if you do, I don't know if I want you.
I'm still attracted to you. I still enjoy your company and conversation.
But if we were together, I'm not sure my bitterness wouldn't influence our relationship. Twice you turned me down, when to me, it seems as if I was exactly what you were looking for. Im not sure I can forgive you for that. You've had your chances. I'm not sure I want to give you another.
Of course I'll be here for you. I'm scared for you. I'd never want you to come to harm.
But I'm confused and scared. I want to be with you so badly, but I don't know if it will be good for either of us.
I wish there was a simple solution. I wish I could simply say, "I want to be with you, you're what I've wanted for so long" and that be it. But I can't. Emotions are more complicated than that.
I am so jealous you made it, I am on my way but still not certain. I wish you can message me when you're not high and tripping, tell me how good it is without the drugs, lets plan on doing something when I get there, so you can encourage me to fucking stay on track.
I barely see any of our old friends, I got a dog that you never responded about every time I sent you a picture, but you would love him when I bring him along.
What bothers me the most is not knowing whether you're alive or not. You are going through things, bad things, and me trying to get involved will probably make them worse. I am at a standstill, you said I would be happier like this, i'm not.
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