Who failed to fulfill their dreams?
What are you doing to cope with this and what can you do to change it?
Are you willing to change and will you ever change?
do you want anything? do you have any ambition?
I'm not going to pretend to know you're situation. You could be incapable for all I know. With that in mind, there are plenty of possibilities. To be a desired professional, you'd have to be
b. college degree
c. skilled trade
There's exceptions to all of these things of course, like you might consider a good programmer without a degree to be adesired professional.
>but I don't know what to be
the only way to do that is to try things. That ranges from easy to hard depending on your situation. But you can always try things, you can download a math book or a painting book or whatever.
>or if I have the intelligence to do it
Sure some people are more naturally gifted than others, but the thing is that it's not so much you're innate abilities that make you smart. It's more you're ability to handle mistakes and learn from them. There's not one smart person that didn't make a shitton of mistakes to get to where they are.
My dream as a child was to become an author but I grew out of it.
I don't have dreams anymore. I don't even care about money.
I wrote some stuff when I was a kid yeah. It wasn't very good.
I don't write anymore. It just makes me cringe.
Everything I do makes me cringe.
It's not like it matters.
Our entire lives are just wageslavery, misery and then death.
I don't consider it worth the struggle. I wish I had the courage to kill myself.
When I was in high school I wanted to be an Army captain. I applied to West Point, did JROTC, camps, the works. What I didn't realize (or at least want to consider) is that there were people who were perfect applying, 4.0s, perfect test scores, dozens of hours of community service and perfect physical fitness. I told myself I had spunk and drive and that was going to get me through. I told my little brother that I'd go to his high school graduation a captain for sure. All my teachers and classmates were rooting for me, even though I think they knew I'd never get in.
I barely passed the physical fitness test. I didn't get my Senator's recommendation even though I practically knew the guy (got my JROTC sergeants instead). Submitted all the paperwork and health info. Even went in for an interview. The moment it hit me was when the interviewer asked me "What tangible things set you apart from other applicants?"
Nothing. I limped through the question with some bullshit about drive and he just nodded thoughtfully.
I was denied. That's when the second thing hit me. I didn't apply to any other colleges. I was so blinded and certain that I was going to get in that I didn't apply for anything.
It's been 3 years since then (I'm 20 now) and I just started community college. I let not only myself down, but everyone who was rooting for me down. I might not even go to my brother's high school graduation as a college graduate, much less a captain.
I was a similar boat as you; I too couldn't find myself in anything but I like money and material things. So I decided I'd get a degree in what I'm passionate about and went for a major in econ. Year 2 and going strong
>I like money
>a major in econ
Oh my sweet summer child
Enjoy your minimum wage McJob.
Well rather than forcing myself through a STEM field that I'll probably be mediocre in afterwards I'd rather give it a shot this way, doesn't hurt that my uncle is the manager of a bank and my mom has connections in the ministry of finance :^)
I know some of these feels. It was my dream since childhood to attend an Ivy League school. I didn't even come close, and it's still eating away at me.
If I had any good advice, I wouldn't be in this position. All I can do is wish you good luck.
>I wish I had the courage to kill myself.
I feel the same way.
I majored in political science. I earned my degree 4 years ago. Now I have a near min wage part time job. The job is easy, but it is a dead end. I really want some kind of career but I can't even get an interview for any serious full time position.
>I really want some kind of career
I'll never understand this.
What exactly compels you to pursue a career?
just think of it as a notch on your CV, nobody starts out with high paying jobs, that's normal. think long and hard, do you have any connections in the field, someone who could help you find a better job? If I were you I'd get politically active or start an NGO, get them sweet subventions from the gubmint
I'd like to use my brain to solve real world problems anon.
I was a full blown hiki for two years after graduating anon. It's fun for awhile, but having no money, and nothing to look forward to wears you down after awhile. I'd like to achieve something.
I wanted to be a dj but unless you're a normie-core meme faggot or really only a music producer who dj's as a means to an end, it's no kind of career. I'm pretty good at it but you're hauling $4,000 worth of gear to a party that pays $300, which one member of the lineup promptly pockets from the venue owner and makes off with, in the middle of someone else' set.
That and trance is out of the clubs and techno turned to awful Berghain German industrial, away from hard and Detroit techno. The only place to find that stuff is at warehouse parties where they don't even pay you, it's just a labor of love, or in eastern Europe, where you will be stabbed and not paid. So, basically no one's making any money unless they're the scumbag opening act who steals, or they play top 40 at douche clubs.
>why pursue a career?
>get to use it in ever more elaborate fashions
>people eventually depend on you and/or value you highly
>that skill and reputation is YOURS
>people will intentionally start talking to you about the things you like, even if they're dumb about it
>you don't have a guttural feeling that you fucked up somewhere and will never get to do that thing you wanted to do nor are incapable of doing it
Is it possible to DJ as a hobby? I really don't know much about it.
>>you don't have a guttural feeling that you fucked up somewhere and will never get to do that thing you wanted to do nor are incapable of doing it
This perfectly describes how I feel all of the time.
And then there you are, staring at the same fucking half-finished track on Ableton. Thinking about people like Jim Jarmusch and Michael Gira and how they could make music just fine when you literally had to program something that is all MIDI, just done with a knob, or just your computer keyboard, now and you're completely fucking stumped. You can't draw, you can't paint, the square, careerist world disgusts you but neither can you make something outside of that. A freak, too weird for society, but too simple for to live outside of it. You're literally worthless.
Yeah. A good 90% of self-proclaimed DJ's are bedroom dj's with VDJ or traktor. Even alot of less mixing-focused genres like Industrial, goth, rock etc. is just one guy going through his set on VDJ with a laptop and maybe a mixer. If you want to do scratching, electronica, something where it's more about what you're doing and not "do people like this song" you need vinyl decks, cd decks, or at least a midi controller. Definitely, start out by pirating vdj and mucking about until you've got your basics. Watch sets until you can do whatever it is they're doing.
>Wanted to be Mathematician (Specialized in Logic)
>Am terrible at math
Math is so interesting but I'll never understand it. I feel a sharp pain in my chest whenever I remember how intellectually inferior I am.
How do I cope? By trying not to think about it
Think about it, this is literally the code of the universe. When Keanu Reeves stopped seeing the Matrix's illusion, when he was fighting those agents and he finally "got it", and saw it for what it was, a series of code, that's mathematics. You've quantified and deconstructed the universe itself into a logical paradigm, no other way can you achieve this but with mathematics.
I'm not interested in it but it sounds cool, doesn't it?
You're thinking more of applied mathematics like Calculus and Linear Algebra. I'm referring to the "Pure" mathematics which doesn't usually have a practical use.
It's fucking hard, and I still don't get it despite lots of studying. It's really outside my mental range
I saved up $600 and I'm going to start an aerial photography service in my small town that's selling a lot of real estate right now due to an aging population. I just want to /makeit/
I have no direction after this. Plan B is suicide.
I'm trying to write an opera and have an idea for a plot but for the life of me just can't write it