>don't feel like reading >don't feel like watching

just wait until you get tired of being tired
also seek a therapist or psychiatrist

lrn2 lucid dream pham

Sounds like depression senpai.

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>tfw I always want to feel like I feel when I'm asleep

Drugs can revitalize your interest in various things, even if only temporarily.

>>26416906
>mfw same atleast music is still entertaining

>>26416972
mommy took me to therapist
didnt do anything
i keep asking her to take me to doctor
but its been months

>>26417117
there are a lot of methods of therapy so maybe the one you went to didnt help much.
i did one year of cognitive behavioral therapy my life barely changed but fortunately CBT gives you a lot of tools to cope with life. after that i started group systemic constelations therapy (sort of experimental), its really weird at first but i like it and been doing for about three years.
it might be the case that you and your therapist just didn't 'click' so you could search another one and maybe that one would work.

with therapy and psychiatry it's rare to get instant results. if you depend on your mom because of money, try seeing if the government or some charity doesn't provide it for free in your area.

>>26417278
i was in shit since 3
i was diagnosed at 10
ive been in school counseling and all their methods and shit just pissed me off more
the only result i can think of from therapy is if people leave me the fuck alone i stop

>>26417278
what do you mean for free the government deneid me disability because apprently i dont show any fucking symptoms because i cant afford to get a doctor
im stuck in this never ending cycle of poverty because i cant afford car to do anything and i cant afford doctor to get job after meds or get disability becausei can prove my symptoms
I DONT FUCKING GET IT
im really SICK of this fucking world
nobody wants to help me except to make a snide comment
my mom keeps putting the shit off
my dad doesnt understand at all
nobody fucking gets it
i dont know what to fucking do
im the autistic tourretes man child
why doesnt my mom get im fucking useless and need a doctor
me having a 1 on 1 aid in grade school not make her understand?
me not qualifying her for government money when we were poor not make her get it?
to this day she still gives me normie tier advice
she says she understands but she clearly doesnt because i still dont have a doctor and im 19 been living a year since i dropped out of college with her
I NEED HELP
AND NOBODY CARES

>>26416906
Best solution I've found for that is exercise. Like, for real. Go for a run, go to the gym, or just find a nice calisthenic workout to do in your room.

>>26416906
Getting a job will make you appreciate your time more

>>26417698
>Getting a job will make you appreciate your time less

fixed for you senpai

>>26416972
>also seek a therapist or psychiatrist
Not OP but
Is this the only way out? I thought it might do something with my eating and sleeping disorder.

I really don't want to speak to a therapist because I'm afraid this faggot is gonna think "wow, look at this pathetic fuck" (worse case scenario: he babbles my whole life to normies). I'm seriously fucking paranoid about this . I hate thinking or knowing that someone thinks or knows about *me*. I avoid conversations with any human more than once and don't go to a grocery store more than once in at least 4 months so they wouldn't recognize me (otherwise I would have to change my appearance somehow so they don't remember me but I avoid that) I will travel 3-4 miles to a next grocery store in a couple of days because I haven't been there yet. I was already in the nearest ones too many times, fuck them.

>You better get a therapist to check that paranoia anon before it gets worse :^)
Yeah fuck you, I'm not fucking doing that shit. In fact, that's the very last thing I'm going to do. If I'm gonna solve my issues (even if it's this paranoia) it's gonna be either by myself or anonymously with help of internet. I can't trust normies on anything at this point.

>>26417804
You're a fucking retard. A therapist isn't going to judge you or tell anyone about you.

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>>26417837
How do you know faggot, are you a therapist? How do I know he's not gonna think that?

Yeah it sounds fucking silly when I write it in words that I want to prevent someone *thinking* at all.
And yeah this all makes me sound like a perfect guy for a therapy but I cannot fucking do it *voluntarily*. It's a giant fucking leap from talking to nobody to suddenly talking your whole life to one fucking person. There's no way I'm able to take that step. It's a fucking catch 22.

>>26418092
You're not that special, and its pretentious to think people will stop what they do just to point you out. You wouldn't stick out to a therapist compared to what other things they've heard and seen. It's like you have your head up your ass, and all you do is take big wafts and tell yourself how bad it smells.

>>26417368
>what do you mean for free
i mean government-funded therapy where you just write your name to a list then go there every 1-2 weeks (if all you can get is 3+ you're better off just not going desu senpai).
>im poor because i don't have a car
no, it's the other way around. you can get a job and take a bus, i take 4 buses every day. been doing that for the last 7 years and still don't have a car, but i can afford mental health and even rice my computer every 2 years or so.
>i'm stuck being poor because i can't afford a car
this is literally the american dream bullshit fucking up your head. i live in a 3rd world country and everything is shit, there's trash everywhere on the streets; the price of the USD is skyrocketing and everything is getting expensive as fuck because of that and because of the inflation. $100 worth of groceries haven't lasted a month since 2011, i spend around 60% of my wage just on rent and groceries and i have to take care of my schizo mom who hasn't seen a doctor in about twenty years.
>i cant afford doctor
unless you are living in the country, there are government and charity funded organizations that help people with mental health issues. if you live in the country just join a church or something, talk to the pastor/father/shaman/whatever and tell him your problems. he's sure to tell you some shit and ask the community to help you.

>>26417368
>>26419271
>nobody wants to help me except to make a snide comment
look nobody is going to help you unless:
1. they are paid for it
2. they are doing it for a higher cause
3. they love you or something
remember that you are not the only human being that has troubles.
remember that you are not the only human being in need of help.
remember you are not a special snowflake.

>my mom keeps putting the shit off
>my dad doesnt understand at all
>nobody fucking gets it
they seem to be of those kind of people that believe depression doesn't exist. can't do much about that other than keep begging them to help or actually go out and seek help on your own.

>>26417804
>Is this the only way out?
you can go to church too. i'm not saying god will help you, but the community can help a lot.
>I thought it might do something with my eating and sleeping disorder.
both psychiatrists and therapists suggest that to nearly every single client they get. it may or may not work for you. they'll also suggest exercising.
>I really don't want to speak to a therapist because I'm afraid this faggot is gonna think "wow, look at this pathetic fuck"
it doesn't matter if he thinks that, trust me. if you two get along well he'll help you improve regardless of what he thinks of you, if you two don't get along well the worse that will happen is you getting no progress and wasting money, in that case just go to a different professional. i fell that in your case opening yourself to somebody will have benefits on its own even if the professional is shit, getting rid of shit you hold to you is a great feeling, bonus points for catharsis.
>Yeah fuck you, I'm not fucking doing that shit. In fact, that's the very last thing I'm going to do. If I'm gonna solve my issues (even if it's this paranoia) it's gonna be either by myself or anonymously with help of internet. I can't trust normies on anything at this point.
A LOT of therapists are either ex-robots or well advanced on their way to normiehood, plus they have actual training on how to make other people normies. it's better than trusting random r9k faggots like me.

>>26418092
>How do I know he's not gonna think that?
it doesn't matter whether he will think that or not. it doesn't matter.
>And yeah this all makes me sound like a perfect guy for a therapy but I cannot fucking do it *voluntarily*. It's a giant fucking leap from talking to nobody to suddenly talking your whole life to one fucking person.
therapists are pros at making you talk, if you have trouble talking he'll find a way to make you open your mouth. of course there is a limit, in my case even after so many years of therapy there are some things i just can't talk about; my lips close and my mind goes blank whenever he asks certain things.
also if you don't seek help and if you can't help yourself then you may have some crazy breakdown and be forced to go to a therapist. if that happens, it is not pleasant at all from what i've heard. it's an entire different feel from casually going to see the therapist.

Every day. It's getting harder to pass the time. I wish I could sleep more often, but that isn't easy with constant racing thoughts.

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>>26416972
>>26417117
>>26417804
>can only read it as the-rapist
You should try it

>>26416906
>Go to bar with oneitis from work when we get off
>Drinks are expensive(we work at airport) so we go to an outside bar
>See some of the guys on tindr she's turned down, and also talks about a pilot
>SHE TURNED DOWN A FUCKING AIRLINE PILOT
>Wallow in my sorrow staring at my drink the rest of the day.

Hurts mang.

>>26419651
best way to combat them is to be alert. when they pop up and in an inconvenient time just forcefully think of something else. i started just saying "stop" to myself (in my mind) but nowadays just noticing the unwanted thoughts is enough to make it stop for a little while.
you can do breathing exercises or meditation too. just relax your body and keep your mind focused on the breathing, if the thoughts are really strong you can count the breath cycles or say "inspiring... expiring" in your mind. if it's even stronger just say it out loud so that your mind takes the hint that you are trying to do something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgXozIma-Oc&list=PLYjaa9h0s4AZ8gD9OceoFzNIUkT_N9Tvh

>Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
>Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
>Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
>The time is gone, the song is over,
>Thought I'd something more to say.

>>26419758
That sounds helpful, thanks.

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>don't want to play videogames or anything
>only want to work on an editing project
>open program up
>stare at screen for five seconds and close it
>browse shitty boards for the next 16 hours