I have stunted myself. After finishing high school, in the months that have followed , i have made no progress. Cut nyself from high school mates because the relationships were shallow. Now i sit here everyday in the dark, drink and play games. I wanted to escape the repetitive days of school but i guess i'll never truly escape from these repeating days.
>>26410597 I'm wasting my life, I have no friends, kissless virgin and have never had a job. I chronically procrastinate I have an exam in 13 hours, I haven't studied or slept and am going to fail >should I sleep or pull an all nighter?
>>26410597 I pretend to be happy and cheerful at my job but I can only manage because I drink 3-4 glasses of wine or hard liquor every night. My life is nothing anymore except my work and this place. And that one girl I would throw myself at, hoping her love could save me, but I'm too jaded to do anything about it. Besides she has a bf anyhow.
I haven't gone to a single of my hobby clubs in months. I tell everyone at work that I have drawing class or this thing or that thing, or visited my family, because it makes me seem normal.
I was raped. I'm a dude. >tfw rape accusation is laughable when coming from a male literally wouldn't be taken seriously even if I did just come out and say it. meanwhile my rapist still lives nearby. proudly boasting about being a 'molester'
>>26410597 I think that if my friends and teachers from high school could see me now, they would be extremely disappointed. Back then, I was outgoing and won tons of academic/art contests. I was fairly popular and outgoing, but, when I went to college, I burned all my bridges in a vain attempt to make a newer, better me.
The newer me came, but he wasn't better. I never learned how to socialize without being forced to in a classroom. I don't have friends, and I go weeks at a time without talking to another human being. I gained over fifty pounds.
My parents think I spend so much time during the schoolyear doing co-op, but I don't. I just make that excuse so they don't yell at me for not taking an internship during the summer. I just don't have the energy. And I certainly don't have the motivation. I don't know what I'm even trying for.
I hope I can find a job when I graduate next year.
>>26411874 Take care of school anon but internships are great. There are tons of college students every year and with no experience its hard to separate yourself from the other no experience students. Don't be like my friends anon and be 2 or 3 years out of college working bullshit unable to get a job in their field.
>>26411711 I've been raped too and I sympathize, it must be even harder for you though because nobody even claims to take your interests seriously. When it's real rape, not "eyerape" or "regretrape" feminists are completely useless. They never helped me. If anything, I constantly have to tell over and over again that I have been raped in front if the entire uni or I'm not allowed to tell at their gatherings that I disagree with them. They're such a toxic joke. If I were a guy they wouldn't even believe me.
I'm 21 and have imaginary friends, my imaginary gf is named Melody, she's the only reason I do anything, even menial tasks like cooking are made easier by imagining I'm preparing the meal for her, so I will always try to do my best to impress her, I fall asleep imagining we are cuddling.
>>26411711 I'm sorry to hear that, dude. I kind of assumed people would take it at least somewhat as a plausible thing. Coincidentally some inequalities between men and woman was a topic between some co-workers and I a few days ago, and even the idea of men being in any way abused by women was incomprehensible by all (mostly men, to boot) but 1 colleague. As she previously worked in some sector that also dealt with abuse and such she had heard about it before. The rest couldn't fathom even the concept, even less so the concept of rape against men.
I sincerely hope you'll manage to find proper council or other support with which may help you through it, Anon.
>>26412117 I mentioned it last week in some other thread, and I stick with it: Feminazis are almost the worst enemy of actual rape victims (of course rapists are much worse, and apologists are way up there as well), with their "eyerape" and "regretrape" and whatnot. By excessive use of the buzzword they diminish the weight it used to carry. They are the cause more and more people start taking rape less seriously, as more and more will link that word to the new meanings those Feminazis have given it. Rather than being shocked and disgusted by the thought one was raped, eventually the more dominant response to the claim will be the assumption regret-rape or other silly things are what one means. It's a sad affair, really.
I hope you'll also manage to find proper help and support to help you through it, Anon.
>>26410597 My roommates like the cold, but when they're out I turn the heat on and make sure to turn it off before they come back. When they wonder why it's always warm in here, I just shrug. But it's me. I'm why it's always warm in here.
I hate my life. I do not want to live. I wish things were different. But I don't want to do anything to change it either. I just want to not exist. I don't want to kill myself, I don't want to improve myself, I don't want to try, I don't want to be handed everything I ever wanted on a silver plate, I don't want god to come down and heal me, I just want to not exist. But I can't tell anyone this so I go to therapy and pretend like I'm trying. I don't know what the end game is. I don't know where this will lead. Probably it will end in me killing myself at some point or another.
I only come outside when I'm sure that I can get something out of it. For example: Last weekend I went outside after someone called me, I got the whole evening paid by normalfags and then left the party to drink booze at a dudebros flat I barely know. The fun part of this is, that I'm not a "social"person and yet I still managed to get the phone number of a girl. I'm pretty sure this has something to do with me transforming from "wojak" to "smug pepe".
>>26410597 I lied to myself about having depression throughout my teen years to make myself feel better about my refusal to accept responsibility. Now I am actually numb, I actually cry very night for no reason other than I hate everything about myself and my life. I have the world at the tip of my fingers, I actually work out, I actually meditate and take care of myself, but I'm beginning to believe that it's futile and I may be unfixable. Nobody wants me. I don't even want me.
I got no bf and bad taste. I read and write rape fanfiction in class. I read all the manga tagged with rape on myreadingmanga.info except for the furry and shota. I have played various vn games including all pc games by nitro+chiral and saved all the rape scenes. I have got various Drama CDs somewhat including rape e.g. Yuuwaku Iinari 4, Gyaku Choukyou and the yandere heaven black series, which I all have listened to during class with the earphones hidden either underneath my hair or inside my sleeves. I recently started drawing it.
>>26420560 I'd have to type the fanfiction into my computer first and my art is not that good yet... The fanfiction are pretty much pwp anyways, but when I get better at drawing, I'd probably post it on /y/ first. I wouldn't know where to post woman on man raep though, and I don't know if guro is allowed on any board here...
When I lost my virginity the girl was on her period. She also vomited a couple of hours before we ended up at my place due to alcohol. I later also found out that the night we had sex she kissed a turkish guy at the nightclub we were. We were both horribly shitfaced but I guess that doesn't excuse all that. Although she in all honesty was 9/10. That, gentleman, is why I'd rather have stayed a virgin.
Gabby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ever got involved in your life. You were too good for me. I'm sorry I lied to you about my sexuality so I wouldn't have to date you anymore. I am sorry that your first time having sex with a guy had to be with someone as fucked up as me. I am sorry I never told you this in person. There is no excuse for what I did to you.
>>26420765 Well, sex without the consent of the guy is also rape. Like, he could be asleep, drugged, handicapped or restrained while she has his way with him. Or she could threaten or blackmail him into performing sexual service. Works the conventional way, but she could also use strap-ons (happens in yuuwaku iinari 4) and whatnot. Like, she could also just shove stuff up his backside or stick things into his urethra. There's also a ton of sm stuff she could do and sex toys she could use without the guys consent. And don't get me started on the guro possibilites...
>>26420765 How the hell is that hard to imagine. Women can rape men just the same as men can rape women They could be children, drugged, asleep, anything really. Fuck man I'm gay and if some chick tried to drag my drunk ass to a bed and tried to stick my dick in that axe wound I'd call it fucking rape too
>>26421121 well I see your point but maybe it is because i am submissive and slightly masochist that I don't see "forced" sexual activities as a rape. but it might be whole different story when fantasy comes true and I am forced to eat out an old hag or something similar. >>26421165 my bad, I was thinking mostly about conventional sex. I mean once you are hard it is hard to say no.
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