>before i was 20 i thought my life didn't really begin yet
>after i became 20 i realised that a forth of my life is already over and the best years are behind me
Who /afraid of aging/?
I kinda know this feel OP. But I also like the fact that I live by myself now and I have my own life where i can chose to do whatever i want. Im also pretty lucky to come out of a rich family (inb4 fuck off richfag) so i can do a lot of things that i want.
But yeah, 24 years old starts to feel a little old, i might just fuck off and live in a cabin somewhere in the woods away from all the responsibility
>missed out on enjoying youth
>didn't build a base to live off later
The past is preventing me from having a future. I know it's ungrateful to say this as only a 26 year old, but it is true.
>tfw I don't want to live but also don't want to die
I don't think I care about my age anymore, I've gotten so apathetic over the years. I've been kicking around the idea of killing myself when I turn thirty and for some reason imagining my life as more than halfway over makes me feel better(I'm 21 right now). I won't ever deteriorate mentally, my body won't slowly grow more and more disgusting, and I don't have to worry about being unhappy anymore.
>went out for dinner with dad the other night, he expressed his worry over my everlasting neetdom and that he was afraid I was wasting my youth and that he didn't want me to regret it later in life
>only just now realizing how little I have done in such a large amount of years
>there are 18 year olds that have accomplished more with their lives than me
>I've literally almost completely wasted my early twenties on vain and meaningless shit and sitting on the computer feeling apathetic while everyone else was out forging their future or seeing the world
>who toxic mentality here?
Lie to miself to feel sad
Tell miself its pointless all the time
Still regret having told myself in the past
Somehow unable to put two and two together