Hey /r9k/. I used to post here a lot. But then my life got really crazy, and it actually got to the point were I wasn't able to access the internet anymore.
But no I can, and so i return to my robot friends. Just so you know, I am 32, and I used to be a complete robot like all of you. But I was able to get out into the world a little bit, get a gf, and have some experiences. But what I learned from all of that, is that i am truly a robot at heart. I really value being alone and not interacting with normies. I like you guys, but the outside world sucks.
The only thing that drove me into that world was the crippling loneliness that I know all of you feel. But I have to be honest with you, that feeling is a fucking illusion. I can't explain how exactly. But i can tell you, once you actually do have a GF and you live with her for years, the novelty pretty much wears away completely and more often than not, she's asking you for sex or to talk, and all you want to do is sleep, or just be alone. I guess what I', saying is, I had a long day at work, now I'm sitting here by myself, getting high. Ask me anything. I'll bestow whatever wisdom i can. Or feel free to just hang out and talk. If your lonely, I'll listen to all your problems and really talk to you.
Will you listen to the anti-normie album I made?
It's completely improvised and horribly shitty
It's from the perspective of typical chads/normies
But I made it for true robots
Also why do you do heroin and has it negatively impacted you at all?
I don't need help. I've been using heroin off and on for 14 years.
Smoking it is not only more difficult, you only get about 60% of the drug, as opposed to 99% from injection. When I first started injecting opiates, I started with liquid methadone, and had to have a friend fix me because i was scared of needles. That went on for some time, but I soon learned to do it myself.
This isn't true. A habit is a habit. It really makes no difference, except that any other method is wasting it.
IV is the only way to go. Snorting, you only get 10% of the drug. Again, IV you get 99%. Just don't ever IM heroin, it's dangerous. Although some people skin pop if they don't have veins. Also, the rush feels like a warm hug.
Actually, anon. I will, I'll do it now. Do you want my opinion on it? And I'll tell you what heroin has done for me. I suffered from anxiety and depression. I was also diagnosed as schizoid and dysthymic. I also have something called scheuermann's disease. All of these things manifested at around 12-13, which is when I was also told I had an IQ of 145. I OD'ed on thorazine when I was about 12 months old, and my mother abandoned me. I had a lot of physical and emotional pain. Heroin took all of that away. When I was on it, I worked 3 jobs, had money and was able to talk to people. But I also lost a lot of things too.I can go into more detail if you'd like.
If no wants pics, Im going to fix.
No, lel, it doesn't work that way. I was able to use it here and there for...six years without ever developing a habit. and when I did so it was entirely a choice.
As far as how it feels. the initial rush feels like the warmest happiest hug you have ever gotten in your life. Like someone you are in love with is telling you that they love you and everything is going to be okay and you truly believe it and feel it. After that, you are bathed in physical and mental euphoria. If you go on a nod, you will fall in and out of this quasi-sleep, where everytime you close your eyes you immediately dream. And they are often wonderful and pleasent dreams. The euphoria carries over into the dream world. And sometimes reality will blend into the dreamworld, so that whatever you are doing in real life will turn into your dream, and you will come in and out. barely noticing a difference. It can be very surreal and can really make you extremely creative and allow you to create beautiful things. I love to write when I am on it, a lot of writers have. Making music is great, too.
Yeah, I was 18 the first time. NP, no need to apologize. I really am just trying to give back. This thread is all for you guys.
>Check out the local headlines
>Another lethal batch of H is killing junkies again
Tick Tock Dope Fiends
I really, really don't understand how people on 4chan, and especially on /r9k/, can judge other people for using drugs, or the types of drugs they choose to use in order to cope with their miserable lives. Does it really make you feel superior because someone else uses a chemical to make themselves feel better. Do you really buy into all of the propaganda bullshit that the media has sold you over the years? It's really sad. Do you really think that you are any better, sitting there posting frog pictures at 3Am and wishing death on your fellow robots?
You've been killing yourself for years and it's pretty incredible. All this time and you're still a weak willed loser who keeps going back. You'll nod off for good sooner than later. Sweet dreams anon.
Well, that chart does not reflect me at all. And we are all going to die. I don't know if you are trolling, but you don't bother me at all. I just hope other robots don't read bullshit like yours and feel bad. Drugs really help some people. It isn't your place to judge. I'm quite sure you have a vice.
Okay, good. While I am sure that you made the album, especially the singing, intentionally bad, it just became repetitive at some point. I am sure you have more talent than that, referring specifically to the singing. I can also tell that you can play the guitar a bit. I play a few instruments and sing myself.
I thought the Mutt family thing was funny, and the obnoxious sound at the beginning of Nattie Anthem was good, but the album needed something to break up the monotony. I bring up Zappa because he does satire and parody so well, but he also does it with excellent music.
I think you should have looked a little deeper into the Chad/normie mentality. You needed to find some actual sincerity there. You had an opportunity to really nail them by putting in a really sad song with some honest lyrics, actually sung with a melody. You could have approached it a lot of different ways. You could have exposed Chad's deeper and more complex emotions, but how he has to hide from those to fit in, and made the next track almost an angry rebuttal to that one, like he was mad at himself for opening up, so he was gonna Chad out even harder.
Or you could have gone for writing a really beautiful song, where Chad truly tries to express himself in a meaningful, profound way, but the shallowness of his thoughts just becomes painfully obvious and awkward.
I see what you were going for, but I think you struck the same chord too many times. You should have fleshed it out more.
What are your thoughts?
Yeah. I had 2 years, then relapsed for a few months, then got clean again for another 18 months. Then I got my heart broken and went off the rails. That was in july 2013, and I'm still using. Although, in the past 2 months, i have completely stopped hustling for money or trying to get it. I few weeks ago, I went 5 straight days, and before that I was skipping 2-3 days, then using a day, then skipping. I have been skipping more than using, although this past week I have used like 6/7 days.
But good on you, man. Let me tell you, when you hit the 12 month mark, there is really a difference from there on out. I don't know how long you were using for, but once you have a year clean, you really start to get things back. If you are doing the work of recovery, you'll start getting back things socially and economically. But the most important thing is you start getting your self back. You start to really be able to find joy in things again and really be comfortable in life. Good job, anon. I know you can do it! If no one else has told you today, I love you.
Wow, that's really well thought out criticism, thanks anon. I never expected that.
I promise you, I cannot sing at all and I really was trying on the song Shattered in particular. I also can't play any instruments, and 4 of my roommates play guitar at various skill levels (intentional and otherwise) on various tracks.
I really like your ideas, I wish I had the time and skill to create an actually good satire album about this kind of stuff. This was just a couple hours of fucking around, but as you said it could have been much better if we took our Chad character more seriously and tried to actually explore him. Hopefully we can do something like that in the future. We have recorded a couple more tracks but it's more of the same, maybe less funny and one is really mean (titled Kill Yourself Nerds). We'll see where Mutt goes. We actually have more shit recorded there than for our actual band, what am I doing with my life...
Thanks a lot, OP
Thanks dude, it helps to hear that. I've been lucky with the support I've gotten so far and I'm hoping to start putting my life back together soon. Hope you can get back on an even keel in due course too. Much love.
You're somewhere out there and I cannot even begin to imagine who you are. Out of all the thousands of people I have met in my life you are unlike all of them. I am tired and must sleep. When I say I love you I know it will never reach you. It is like pissing into the ocean and hoping it gets to Madagascar. Good night.
Can't wait for you to die in a gutter desu
You junkies are the lowest form of life on the planet
I'd tell you to kill yourself but you already are doing that, so continue your course.
>DUDDEEEEE MANNNNM STOP JUDGING BRAHHHHHH
junkies are lower than scum and you're still a faggot normie. You're not a robot you're a norm cuck who probably got top cucked by your roastie gf and now you do heroin "for fun"
I eat a kilogram of kratom every 2.5 weeks and can function perfectly
i eat it every two hours and my life isn't a mess of crippling pain
in addition i don't drink/smoke/etc kratom is the only thing that i do
was sober for a couple years, had a gf even, but i like this better desu
Man, I know all about that. The father of my sister's yongest child died 6 months ago from an OD. And then 3 days ago, the father of one of her middle children died, and he wasn't even a junky. He was an alcoholic who got high every once in a while. But he had been in rehab for 2 weeks, got out and I guess he was restless, but didn't want to disappoint his father by getting drunk right away. So I guess he figured if he did some H, his dad wouldn't be able to tell. Whenever me or my sister would score for him, we wouldn't give him very much, just enough to get him a good buzz, and he had a decent tolerance. But he was with some bitch none of us know, and she must have shot him up, because he couldn't hit his self, and then just let him fucking die. That is really the lowest form of scum, is a junky that'll just let someone OD and not call 911. The old lady who's house they were staying at found him the next fucking morning. That bitch slept in there next to his body all night. And he was a great person. Would quite literally give you the shirt off his back. I've seen him do it.
I got a very light nodding from kratom before, but I'm sure it doesn't compare. Still, it was so interesting to just close my eyes and to be dreaming, I have never had that kind of visual experience with any psychedelic besides salvia (which makes your entire body very sensitive and you feel like shit) because as you may know psychedelics are actually don't produce visions, besides salvia and DMT. I don't want to get into heroin though, it's just interesting.
Wow, nice mom and dad logic there. Did you know that the physical heroin withdrawal that is supposedly so bad is only, for the average person, the equivalent to having the flu for a week? Of course what reason would you have to do a simple google search when you know what your mommy and daddy and schoolteacher told you?
Hey your welcome man. Like I said, I started this thread to genuinely help. And yeah, I noticed the change of tone on Shattered. Just from the title, I expected a bit more from it, but now that you explain, I understand LOL. The smoke on the water riff was pretty funny too.
If you need any help or any further criticism, I'd be more than glad to help. I can leave my email, if you'd like.
Seriously, why do these people exist? Are they angry teenagers who can't score drugs, or what? I never understood this. You are trying to shame people on an anonymous image board, in particular, the board for social outcasts, which is exactly what a drug addict is. I also love how you are so deep into your own bullshit that you are telling me that I'm not a robot to try and further insult me. When in reality, I have been giving positive feedback and helping out my fellow robots in this thread, yet I'm the lowest form of scum. Take a look in the mirror friend. Do you want to talk about it? Do you have a parent who's an addict? Did they hurt you?
Have you ever done other opiates? How does it compare?
Yeah, I've gone into hyperspace on 5 grams of mushrooms and a ton of DMT. We order the mimosa hostilis root and made it ourselves. It completely changed my life that night. I was a really cynical prick before that. And heroin is fine, it's just another opiate, and not even the strongest one. The thing about heroin though, it seems to have far more of a euphoric, dreamy effect than the other opiates, which tend to be more physical. But if you really are that averse to heroin, I'd suggest opium. Very similar but far more mild effect.
I'm definitely going to have to find a DMT tek because I can't find it anywhere. I also want to try higher doses of certain psychedelics. Psychedelics are my real interest, not opiates. I feel well enough with just marijuana to be honest, I know it sounds like a babby drug but it works well with me.
The only thing about opiates that interests me are the visuals when you get dreamy. I think DMT would be better for that though.
idk i just don't rly care about satire that much
if i knew this mutt dude i'd probs throw a song onto a mixtape i rarely play but keep in the car, or stealthily play it at a party as a joke.
but yeah i don't really like satire. but i really did just listen to his album so maybe thats saying something.
im kinda drunk tho too so idk
he should learn to sing its just an instrument like any other. gotta practice.
Would you recommend heroin to a family member, friend or co-worker?
I've done my share of drugs. Never H. I know that drugs should be used with respect and precautions etc. Would heroin be worth a try? Not shooting it, but just smoking it.
I know a couple of people who do H occasionally, and I know you don't get hooked after one try.
But at the same time I keep thinking about the junkie zombies in the street you know... H must be some pretty good shit if you dedicate your whole fucking life to it, right? People give up anything for a fix, they steal from their family, their kids etc, just to ride the horse another day.
So is it worth a try?..... lol
Btw, you seem like a nice guy. Heroin users are generally really nice people. And this thread is a good example of that.
Without any shred of doubt we are kindred souls. Even though I am not a huge fan of opiates, having tried ketamine and poppy milk extracts only, however I have been using mushrooms on and off for the last seven years.
The mushroom literally shifts my perspective, it's mostly just shit and giggles, but sometimes that allows me to do things I thought previously impossible: like socializing, working in the flow for many hours on end, obtaining control over myself (basically stopping all panic attacks).
I have shied away from heroin, i must say, but only because the only dope you can get where I'm at is sold by gypsies and is of questionable quality.
Just putting this out there, cheers mate, keep on living and don't pay much mind to those who do not understand be it by denial of will or denial of education.
And remember: if it all ends today, that is okay too. (Though I got big plans =])
.>she decided my dick was totally hot
Well, this is a very complex subject that you bring up here. The short answer is yes, you should try heroin. There is no inherent danger to trying it outside of the possibility of OD'ing, which is possible with any drug except for psychedelics (which I don't consider to be drugs, but that's another story). And smoking it is a very good way for an inexperienced user to go about his first time, unless you have good friends who are IV users, in which case you would really be better off letting one of them shoot you up.
If you are going about this completely solo, which I don't necessarily recommend, you're going to have to be careful. Take into account any opiate tolerance you may already have, such as from pain pills, or morphine, or opium, or I guess kratom, although i don'r have any personal experience with that drug. It is always better for especially the novice user to do too little as oppsoed to too much. Start small. Smoke only a very, very little. You can always work your way up and the high is cumulative, so you won't be missing out on anything or wasting any by going a little at a time.
So that's just the short answer. Now, in the next post I will expand on that and further answer your second question.
So, I don't know where you live that there are junky zombies roaming the streets. I live in Louisville, Kentucky, and if you want, you can look it up, but you can trust me when i say there is a HUGE heroin epidemic here. It has been going on for the last few years now. Before that, it was all pain pills. The real tipping point was when a synthetic opiate called Opana was released onto the market. If you don't know, Opana is oxymorphone, and AFAIK, it is the strongest opiate there is besides fentanyl. So Opanas hit the streets, and a bunch of people who were used to hydrocodone and Oxycontin, maybe the occasional Methadone pill, OD'ed and died from them. But even more people got hooked on them. And as they became more scarce, they were going for as much as $120 a pill. And then they disappeared completely. And with tighter restrictions on prescription opiates all around, the alternative was a $20 bag of heroin.
And that is how it began for most people. Now it is the DoC for damn near everyone in town. People I grew up with who would maybe drink a beer or smoke some weed and very rarely pop a pill like a tab or a xanny, are now full blown, street hustlin' heroin addicts. And even so, the situation you describe of the mindless heroin zombies roaming around is not one that i really see. Sure, I see a lot of junkies running around, but they don't look anything like zombies. In fact, I'd say they are incredibly alert, always on the lookout for that next score. Occasionally you see one that's fucked up. but usually when they are high they remain out of sight. So I'm just curious to know if your concept of the "junky zombie in the street" is one of personal experience, or more what you have picked up through the media. Because I don't feel that it reflects my experience in one of the worst heroin cities in the country.
But anyway, you want to know the truth about heroin, and why people seem willing to go to any length to get it. Well, first let me tell you...
I've snorted #4 in a fairly consistent manner for the past half-year and will probably continue indefinitely, albeit at a lower dose. I consume an average of 1/4 to 1/2 a gram per week ($100 CAD per week) and also have a large prescription for codeine (240 x 30 mg tablets per month).
In 2011 I began flirting with opioids following a diagnosis of locally-advanced cancer. Since that point I've undergone three major operations. Interesting, opioids produce a profound improvement in motivation and energy in my case -- I'm able to prosecute my goals much more efficiently. This is just as much about work/goals as it is an emotional escape.
Since we're talking about drugs:
The only time I've been productive in my life was when I had a speed connection.
Depression went completely away, I was social, I just did work and my own personal shit without having to think about it. Got a gf and had friends as well.
It's very functional if you keep doses as small as possible and make sure you're sensible about sleep.
Stopped using it and now I'm back to my low energy, depressed self. I honestly think amphetamines are the answer all robots are looking for. I think we were born without a working energy dispenser in our brain or whatever.
How did you get into heroin? were you given some perscriptions for something or not?
How can I, as a lonely depressed 24 year old who just smokes weed occasionally, drinks and smokes a pipe, avoid ever falling into heroin?
that no, you absolutely DO NOT GET HOOKED AFTER THE FIRST USE, OR EVEN THE FIRST SEVERAL USES. The only drugs that even come close to having those crazy properties that they misinform you about are two that they don't even really explain very well; cocaine and meth. Cocaine, especially when smoked (crack) and even more so when injected (yo normally shoot powdered coke, but you can shoot crack too, you have to break it down with lemon juice or vinegar), makes you immediately want to do more coke, like within the first 15 minutes or so. And it can go on and on like that forever. The feeling of coming down is horrible, so you want more. Meth is the same way, but generally takes like 12 hours to come down instead of 12 minutes. This is why coke is so expensive; you have to have tons of it. But if you have some alcohol or valium or xanax to come down with, it is perfectly fine, and even without anything, you can come down and you'll be fine. There are no physical withdrawal symptoms and the craving goes away after you get some sleep.
Heroin isn't like that. You'll get high on heroin, nod off most of the night, maybe puke a couple of times, smoke cigarettes and evetually fall asleep. You will sleep really well, and maybe for like 12 hours or more, Depending on how much you did, you might have a bit of a hangover, where you feel like you still kind of have a buzz, you'll feel relaxed, maybe even sluggish and tired. And that can last a day or two, assuming you don't do any more. And you won't really have the desire to do anymore.
And it can stay just like that, forever. It was like that with me for 6 years, and I was injecting it. I would get high, enjoy myself, and then not use again for at least two weeks, and sometimes a month or more. Maybe even several months. And then one day i would decide to get high again, and it was the same thing, everything was cool.
And I could even use more often than that if i chose. Sometimes once a week, and sometimes evenmore
Thanks for answering, dude.
Since you're asking. I live in Oslo. Norway. And it's not really a secret that this city has a "heroin problem" as well. So this is not something that I have just picked up from some bad tv show or some shit. I live here, and I see this shit every day. If you were here, you would understand what I'm talking about, by zombie, I mean that the users are wandering around the streets, sometimes in packs. People shoot up anywhere they want over here. I'm not fucking kidding, seeing a "junky" shoot up literally ON THE STEPS of the parliament building. And then they sometimes fall asleep on some bench in a busy shopping street. The cops don't do shit about it, unless they're on private property or in a store or whatever.
I've read about the heroin epidemics over in the US. Bigpharma did a really good job to turn people into street"junkies". 120$ a pill? That's fucking insane.
I had a strange experience the first few times doing heroin. I didn't really get any anti-anxiety, in fact it made me more anxious. I also had weird as fuck nightmare visions while nodding. This was all just from smoking it of some tinfoil, too. This continued for about a week straight, as I was hanging out with someone and we just kept doing it in their apartment. I stopped using it because it just didn't seem to live up to the hype of feeling like everything is ok and cosy. I understand that IV is going to be more euphoric but it just didn't seem like it was worth the risks.
Nope. That's the common story, but for me, I knew I wanted heroin from the time I was 14, and I spent years looking for it. It used to be a rarity in this city. As to the second part of your question, you can keep reading...
OK, that I can see. Cops are a huge issue here, so people can't really use or be high in public without hassle. Anyway, to continue...
sometimes I would use 2-3 times a week. But I knew better than to ever use more than that. Heroin doesn't necessarily instill in you the overwhelming compulsion to use it the way a stimulant can. But the danger comes in building up a tolerance to it and ultimately a physical chemical dependency.
The method to avoid chemical dependency is quite simple. Obeying rules like never using 2 days in a row, or skipping 72 hours in between doses or some other type of rule to make sure it doesn't build up in your system is fine, but it's not full proof. If you do say limit yourself to even once or twice a month, that's fine, but realistically, you are going to want to start using more than that for a few reasons.
For one, it just feels so damn good. Two, when you limit your use like that, your brain is going to realize there are no adverse effects being experienced, and so it's going to tell you that you can handle using more often.
And three, and this is the most serious, at some point after you start using heroin, something bad is going to happen to you. And I don't mean anything pertaining to the drug itself, I mean something in your life. Someone close to you or a pet is going to die. A girl is going to leave you. That girl you have been obsessing over is going to flat out crush your dreams. Your going to lose a job, or flunk out of school...something is going to happen to you, the same way it happens to us all and when it does, and when you are at your absolute lowest point of your life, BAM! there's heroin and it takes away every last shred of pain.
To me, this is the most....
It's not that bad over here desu. But it's not fanstastic in any way. It's mostly propaganda....
They keep telling the outside world what a wonderful country this is. And the government keeps telling their citizens that "We are so rich!!" "We are so free!!" "We are so lucky to live here!" "We have democracy!" "This is literally the best country in the whole world"... No, I'm not kidding. This is what they're saying on a daily basis. I'm not exaggerating.
And you know, the more the government keeps talking about all the money and freedom..... In reality, there is very little money and freedom.
dangerous time. Once your brain makes the connection that all your pain can just be taken away with a pin prick, that's where you run the most risk. Because when you are super sad and you use, you are instantly going to escape all of that and actually fell happy. Instead of laying in bed crying, you'll be up posting on 4chan or playing vidya. And this is where it shifts. Whereas before you would get high and lay around, now you get high and have MORE energy because it is killing the depression. At this point you have to be very careful not to start using it as a crutch and using everyday.
So, that leads me to the only sure fire way to be able to use and not get hooked. You have to watch for tolerance. That is where it all starts. If you are doing a point (1/10 of a gram, or 0.1 grams, which is why they call it a point), which is the smallest and most common amount it is sold in ($20 a point here) to get really high, then that is your tolerance. Even if you start to use quite frequently but can still get high off a point, you are fine.
But as soon as you have to get a 30 instead of a $20 in order to get the same effect, that is when you have to lay off or risk getting addicted. Seriously. Do not risk it, you will get hooked if you start increasing the amount you use in order to get the same effect, even if you are skipping several days in between doses. The only way to combat tolerance is to wait even longer between doses.
So, as to how people end up giving up everything for a fix, it doesn't happen overnight. Once you are chemically dependant, it is the worst feeling in the world to be in withdrawal. People sometimes compare it to having a really bad flu for 3-5 days. Well, that just isn't true. It is somewhat like a flu, in that there is nausea, diarrhea, runny nose/eyes, sneezing, headaches. But you also get these terrible chills far worse than any flu. You will have goosebumps basically 24/7, and this is interspersed with
I notice a lot of Scandinavians come over to the UK because they find their home countries very boring and lacking something. That's what they tell me anyway. Maybe they just come over while they're young for a couple of years then go back when they grow out of being edgy, I don't know.
feeling extremely cold and feelings extremely hot, and sweating regardless of whether you feel cold or hot. Your skin is clammy. And that's just the beginning. You also feel terribly anxious. And not just like anxiety, but a nightmarish restlessness that you can't get rid of. This fact is made all the worse because you also feel like you've been hit by a truck; your whole body hurts like a toothache and you feel entirely drained of all energy, physical and mental. Your mind can obsess on only one thing, getting well, and you are filled with the compulsion to d whatever you have to do to get more heroin. If you can somehow overcome this feeling, which will hit you first thing in the morning when you wake up and get progressively worse throughout the day, you have it even worse at night.
Any chance for sleep is basically hopeless, despite how tired you are. You will not be able to get comfortable. You will toss and turn every five minutes. If you never believed that restless leg syndrome was real, you are about to find out. Not only in your legs, but your arms and even your head and neck. You feel this uncontrollable feelinf in your limbs to need to move them, almost like they're vibrating on the inside. You won't sleep and you'll sweat.
And then the terrible depression kicks in. If there is any trauma or any bad thoughts or memories you've been masking with the dope, they all pop up, only they feel 10 times heavier.
So people don't like feeling this way, so they go back out and use. And well, eventually, you run out of money. And when you're so sick, it doesn't seem like a very big deal to lie to your family to "borrow" some money. Or maybe your friends, or your boss. But then eventually people see through all that, and you can't borrow anymore. So then maybe you pawn some stuff...just enough to get well. And maybe you're telling yourself all the time that you're gonna quit, you're just waiting for these perfect circumstances, Maybe you can't take off
>there is very little money and freedom.
Doesn't thinking about everything you type make you want to stop? You seem to have an understanding of the emotional and mental trauma you're inflicting on yourself, including replacing healthy coping mechanisms with the dope.
The only way to properly learn a language unless you're a turbo-geni-autist is to surround yourself with it daily, and most of the time that can only be done by living in the country where the language is spoken.
hmm this may be true but also i'm an especially stupid person, I had to take french classes from age 9 to 15 because I live in canada, now i'm trying to learn french on my own and it's just not working out
Hey OP, really appreciate the post. I was wondering what you mean by the feeling of being alone is just an illusion- right now, I'm very similar to you, in the sense that I'm a robot at heart (I have the capacity to be a normie, maybe even a Chad) but in my head, that lifestyle just seems so shallow, I can't bear the fact that I will be lying to myself and the wider world about the true way I feel about my existance.
So here I am- I intentionally cut myself off from others even though it hurts me (in my head at least). I purposefully reject any girl that so much as comes close to me. It's like I want to be alone, but at the same time my brain is telling me I don't. It's such a crazy feeling sometimes, I laugh to myself about how i am internally pulling myself apart. It's great to see that you made the effort to become normie like, then experienced a normie style life, and have the maturity to not get embroiled in the false reality of it all and make a head strong judgment based on your individual truth. For me, this is something a normie could never do- and it's why I will never be a normie.
or you have kids to take care of. You can't do that sick. So, as soon as you can check into a hospital for a week, your gonna get clean. But in the meantime you have run out of shit to pawn. And you're so sick, and you have to go to work tomorrow.....so maybe if you jst take that one 20 out of Mom's purse...she won't notice and you'll put it back....
Well, anyway, it escelates from here. And even if you don't steal from your family, they typically start turning their back on you because of all the lying you will have to be doing. Then, after they yell at you and shame you and talk shit about for being a junky, when they don't realize you only started in the first place bcause you were hurting so bad, it hen makes it easier to rip those people off if it comes to that.
And eventually, you have to do whatever you have to do to durvive. some of the only people who will talk to you are other junkiesn amd theh'll jsut want to use you for somethibg. But at the sametime, you'll learn tricks of the trade from them...
That's all i got for now bro. I've been up 23 hours and I worked all day yesterday. Im super sleepy. Sorry for spelling errors, literally falling asleep as I type, plus 3 days ago I taught nyself how to type using the home keys and not looking at the keyboard, so I'm still kind if a noob at it, and being sleepy is making it a little harder on me,
But seriously, I hoped that helped and id anyone is interested, I might do it again sometine.
I don't know, because the government is a bunch of greedy fucking cheapskates I guess. The wagecucks as you call it is being taxed hard over here. Sure, the schools are free, but it sucks. Not enough equipment, the standard of the buildings are poor.
Free retirement homes, but you have to lie there soaking in your own piss and diarrhea in a hallway, because of lack of space. And maybe some nurse will see you for not more than 5 minutes in a day.
"Free" hospital, but it sucks too, a lof of people die waiting in line for surgeries and treatment. Those who get their surgeries and treatment may die because of complications because of incompetece.
Many people don't get their meds because the government decides it's too expensive.
Heck... even the FHI (Folkehelseinstituttet) Peoples health institute, basically the national health something something... is owned by Rockerfeller Foundation.
The standard of the roads are beyond saving.
The list goes on...
If you're a filthy goatfucking muslim, a nigger or if you're mentally ill you'll be fine tho. The welfare program here is pretty good, but only if you have brown/black skincolor or if you're a lunatic. Bonus for both.
This country sucks, not because I'm a unemployed and posting on /r9k/. But I know what I'm talking about. Believe me, this is a corrupt shithole with communistic tendencies.
I would rather go to a hospital in Bolivia than here in Oslo.. No kidding.
Having a kid and being a junky is the hardest thing to deal with. When you're sick, you're down and out. You depend on opiates as much as a person with a really bad sight depends on their glasses.
I have no choice but to take care of my little, whether I'm sick or not. I love her too much to ignore any of her needs.
>Anybody here ever shoot up a speedball?
>If so, how was it?
I've never shot up a speed ball. But I've mixed Cocaine on top of Heroin plenty of times.
Some people love it, and it isn't bad, but I just don't prefer it.
I'm so much of an opiate addict that I don't even want to take a benzo with my H because it'll add to the sedation yet not the opiate feel.
Unless I'm on methadone, then benzos are nice. Don't do methadone and benzos together, you'll die, this isn't a joke.
Yes, how in the world did you know that? They are my favorite band ever since like 1993. I was getting ready to get off of here damn it, I'l so sleepy, but now I must have an answer!
I'm not a typical junky parent. My child does not have to deal with random people in the house or instability. She comes first to everything. Food, clothes, medicine, a warm house, a bed and roof over her head. Also, treating her much better than my dad treated me. She doesn't get slapped in the face, made fun of or humiliated in order to discipline her.
How do you live with the fact that you are putting money in the hands of terrorists and directly aiding to the suffering of millions of people around the world? Doesn't that bother you?
I understand what you're saying and that's fantastic that you're making such an effort, I know how hard addiction can be. But when she's older she's probably going to start having issues about your use. A typical situation is that the child starts blaming themselves for their parent's problem and this leads to resentment. Also it goes without saying that you probably aren't providing the best role-model. Kids are much more receptive and intelligent than people give them credit for.
I'm not trying to get on your case btw, anon.
Please don't listen to this junkie piece of shit.
You think your lives are bad now? Fuck with drugs and having no gf will be the least of your problems.
Spend the money and time on a hobby or material for learning new things/subjects. Become a patrician with no gf, rather than a junkie with no gf.
Son, get off the dope and get some religion. Replace the heroin with a family, a community, and a hobby. Or keep killing yourself, I don't care. Just seems like a waste of life, you're just another scum sucking parasite.
You're 100% right about that. Especially how receptive and intelligent kids are. They almost feel who you are.
I know that I can't keep this up and I'm working getting out of it. I joined a Methadone clinic, this will bring stability into my relationship with my wife. Which in turn will improve my daughter's life. Once I stabilize I'm going to being tapering. Though, most important are the social changes. Without that, all the withdrawals and all the tapering won't do shit. The psychosocial improvement is the biggest thing need in one's sobriety.