I've been rotting inside for years and now just wish to

killdozer

Import some highly invasive pest species off of the deep web
Set them free in your town but make sure your haus is sealed off

Acquire a boatload of LSD then smear it on doorhandles (it can be absorbed through the skin), taint water supplies with it, etc.

Graffiti is an obvious one but don't do stupid gangster shit. Maybe use nice motivational messages like "everything will be okay :)" and the like.

Pee and poop on sidewalks when no one is looking

Plant devices on cars that make police siren noises when activated via remote control

EMP shit if you can manage it

Get hired for jobs, but then never show up

I'm running out of ideas

Throw rocks at people?

>>26359719
Ooo follow people with inconspicuous camera bots
Then upload your stalker vids and link them to their facebooks

Setting fires is an obvious one

>>26359611
Become a supervillain. No I'm being serious.

>>26359611
Get a black sharpie and blot out the 'WO' part of the women's washroom sign, and do your best to cover up the skirt.

Then sit back and watch the world burn

Switch movie theater reels with tranny porn
>b-but they're all digital now

Well shit I dunno

>>26359719
I like the grafitti idea. Any idea's on a quick logo I could spray or scribble for when I don't have time to write out sentences ?

>>26359611
Cover the 's' and 'h' on a School Zone sign with spray paint so it says "COOL ZONE"

Plant a blue tooth speaker in a building then play hardcore porn or the 99 names of allah over it

Pretend to slut your throat or shoot yourself in a really public area, using a pouch of fake blood to fool the norms

When someone calls the police, get up and outta there!

Go everywhere in a zentai suit, walk irregularly

Switch people's mail

piss on the toilet paper in public restrooms

>>26359815
*slit your throat
it's sad that this is unoriginal ):

Walk down a street at night, bump a car with your butt hard enough that it sets the alarm off. Leave. Come back every night and set the alarm off until they stop arming it. Then key their car.

Piss on the toilet paper in a public restroom and throw the extra rolls on the toilet bowl. Do an upper decker if you can.

>>26359818
This, and intentionally break toilets too. Then poop in the little compartment in the back so when they try to fix it they have to clean your poop first

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>>26359719
>LSD can be absorbed through the skin
>tfw you could be next to trip on doorhandle LSD

>>26359857
Also pee on all of the paper towels, all over the floor and on those electric hand dryers so that they short out when someone attempts to activate them

Hell you can just pee everywhere

Fart in peoples faces

>tfw your ex was your chaosbuddy
>tfw no chaosbuddy

It's not the same when you're all alone...

There's a good chance that you piss in bottles, if not start doing it. Let the piss fester in there for a few weeks and then empty them inside of stores. The smell will be putrid

>>26359719

>Get hired for jobs, but then never show up

B E E Z U L B U B I A N

>>26359950
Where do you live ? I'll be your chaos buddy

>>26359611
If you're serious about this, the world is your oyster. Most places in America are almost entirely undefended.

> Cultivate a colony of fleas and release it into a high school.
> Stuff potatoes in people's car tail pipes all over town.
> Spike the town's major roads.
> Glue razor blades to playground equipment.
> Drop a body-shaped bundle onto a highway when there's a lot of traffic moving very quickly.
> Cover a section of road with oil during the evening, and then during the morning rush throw something onto the road.
> Toss a firebomb at a busy gas station. Guaranteed the person you're tossing it at pulls out the gas nozzle.
> Pull fire alarms in every mall, school, and hospital you can get access to. Preferably on the same day.

>>26360126
> Glue razor blades to playground equipment
Dude...
That's taking it a little far

>>26360126
How the fuck do I make a fire bomb ? Is it like a molotov cocktail ?

join the police force

>>26360196
I'm not here to hold your hand, pleb.

>>26360151
I didn't realize there were limits to chaos.

>>26360041
virginia
blocks

>>26360126
Holy shit you're actually evil

>>26360236
But that's like, evil chaos
Definitely surpasses just michievousness

Plant confettibombs in populated areas
All the norms will think it's some life-threatening explosive
But really it's just fun!

Shit on ground
Leave empty baggies with a little salt in them around houses for sale
Sit on a bench and creepily stare at kids
Graffiti stupid shit on buildings
Go to a store with a long queue and talk to the cashier for half an hour
Throw used condoms into a kindergarten
Buy a boombox and play gangster rap loudly in the town square/high street

>>26360412
Also go to public bathroom and piss on the seat and flusher

>>26360126
Continuing with some new ideas:

> Go to random parkades and turn any plumbing leaver you can get your hands on.
> Squirt super glue into house/car door keyholes.
> Leave out poisoned cat food in places inaccessible to humans, but likely to attract cats.
> Slip small items into people's purses so it looks like they were shop lifting.
> Call numbers randomly in your town. Using a voice mask tool, simply say "I know what you did. I'm watching." and hang up. By law of averages you're going to scare the shit out of some people.
> Call the police on people. Make a ton of fake background music (fighting, crashing, I'm sure you can find a video on youtube for background noise) and be very out of breath so it doesn't sound like you. (Record yourself a few times to practice). Call the police about an active shooter on someone who you know to be paranoid/a gun nut. Then call that person and tell them that someone put a hit out on them and a bunch of fake cops are coming. Then call the local news and tell them to get there first.

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>>26360543
> Leave out poisoned cat food in places inaccessible to humans, but likely to attract cats.

rig a scooter so that it leaves a trail of paint behind it wherever it goes (but don't forget to stop it up at some points or else they'll be able to track you)

leave bags filled with urine (disguised, somehow) on or inside restaurant chairs so when someone sits on it it explodes and it looks like they peed themselves

>>26360543
What do those plumbling levers even do?

go to the library and write inside every book

>>26360543
More from me again. This is way too easy. I wish I'd given up on life, I could burn this city to the ground.

> Leave fake bombs on local public transit (subways are even better). They'll have to stop the thing, causing a huge distraction, and waste a ton of time on a bomb squad.
> Print off a few hundred letters implicating a local politician in a scandal. Mail them out to people. Even if it's entirely made up, it will stir shit up.
> Collect rat poop, then sprinkle it around a restaurant. Call in a health inspector.
> Find an electronic device that emits a dog whistle. Leave it in a pet shelter.
> Mail in a poison threat to the local water supply to all news stations. Make it super detailed and give a time. People will panic no matter what.


>>26360715
I'd say it's about time we find out.

>>26360253
Oh...that's too far from Oklahoma :(

>>26360236
Please ?

Tipped the FBI. Hope you cause lots of chaos and mischief in prison, bub. :^)