Cyborg here. The self-awareness is where it begins. One moment you're young and have a few good friends and then middle school hits and Chads and Stacys are formed and you either need to mold your personality to fit in (which I did-though I never gained any actual respect from my "friends") or fuck off into your own group. Since I did the former, I ended up being a friendless loser with no identity throughout a lot of high school and college.
I think you often can't tell until you're older, because kids have pretty low standards for friends and you can just get away with alot more as a kid. It's not until late teens and early 20s when you start getting alienated and outcast from society.
>>26332129 As far as I can remember, I've always had trouble in really social environments. Dealing with things like that make me feel uncomfortable and anxious. I can handle 1 or 2 people at most providing that I know them well enough. My parents are the same way and I think that has something to do with it.
my parents made me go to a private highschool, I was probably well on my way to seclusion, but that was the last nail in the coffin for my social life. I had, what I would consider, a lot of friends in middle school, but absolutely no one wanted to be my friend in highschool. I ended up forcing myself into a group that didn't seem as bad as the rest, but after graduation we never hung out anymore and I have no idea how I'm supposed to befriend anyone
>>26332129 >elementary school >somehow learned how to be the tryhard class clown type >people laughing gradually less over time, I stop being "funny" at about 6th grade >start getting bullied constantly by the Chad/Stacy kids because of my antics, sometimes even in class >had to change schools in 7th grade >chance to start over >get bullied because of my skin color, something I'd never experienced before >made friends with a bunch of other minority kids so at least I had that going >high school >eventually learned to just stop talking in classes altogether, becoming invisible to normos
>>26332129 I don't think I was at first. My parents make it sound like I was a pretty social kid. But I also remember getting used to being treated differently for the things I enjoyed, feeling as though the people around me weren't as intelligent--or at least didn't show it or seem to analyze anything past the surface--and in general not really...belonging. I'm pretty sure that's where it started. And then all that turned into having very few friends, to only having close friends, to having basically no friends whatsoever. Having no friends turned into spending all my time out of school alone and usually in front of a screen of some kind. And then at some point the fear of being alone turned into thriving on solitude. Things changed after this girl told me she liked me when I was in 12th grade. We "dated" for maybe a month. The actual thing didn't last long, but that level of intimacy with another person left me craving more experiences with other people.
I wasted the bulk of my adolescence being a complete loner, but at least I've managed to come back out of my shell in some ways. On the bright side, all that time in front of computers has equipped me with a wealth of music, games, and useless pop culture knowledge to impress people with. Silver linings, maybe?
Thread replies: 12 Thread images: 4
Thread DB ID: 496755
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at email@example.com with the post's information.