coffee is a fucking meme drink for normies >hurr durr le don't

I like it. It's a healthier and more effective way of getting caffeine than soda.

>>26328374
>needing caffeine
this is the meme, you dip

>>26328325

It is funny that usually the most useless people drink the most coffee. Tea is superior in every way.
I only drink coffee to break through a hangover and take a nice shit afterwards, otherwise this stuff is useless for an actually busy person.

>>26328325
the real crime here is
>needing an excuse to be an asshole
i for one make my meanest, dumbest shitposts after a nice cup of joe

>not drinking caffeine

lol kid

Normie coffee is also fucking atrocious. Caffeine doesn't really affect me, but I love coffee for the flavour. I roast it at home and got a siphon vacuum pot brewer recently makes class coffee, with a tea-like quality.

But the coffee meme is shit.

>>26328374
Coffee wouldn't be bad if it wasn't for the caffeine.

I just drink coffee I don't make a big deal of it.

>>26328325
i can drink coffee just fine and see why others drink it

but normally the only time i would need coffee is later in the day, but if i drink it then i cant go to bed

>>26328325
I only drink it so I can shit. I don't even like it.

>>26328552
Spot the snob

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caffeine is a big ol meme for sure

drank 2 redbull tallboy cans once, didn't do shit.

coffee tastes horrible too, i would probably have to drink several cups of it to feel anything

>>26328390
>>26328555
I don't see what's so bad about a caffeine habit, it's not like it has many negative effects, and if I don't get it, I'm tired.

This thread would not exist anywhere other than /r9k/

I really enjoy coffee, to the point of having a very decent coffee machine at my house that I use it with, but I don't understand people who have the need to buy pricey coffee at chains like Starbucks everyday.

>>26328590
A bit, yeah. Though I don't reeee out over people drinking the shit at work, I just don't drink it myself.

Modafinil master race here

200mg a day. No need for a single coffee and I am alert and peaking all day till I sleep

>>26328604
>it's not like it has many negative effects
>if I don't get it, I'm tired
Do you really think it's a good idea to have to take a substance just to do your daily routine?

>>26328629
They could have this thread on /b/ or /ck/ you stupid fucking idiot

>>26328604
>>26328604
Caffeine inhibits GABA, it dehydrates you making you sluggish while also raising cortisol levels, it also flushes key minerals out of your system, including magnesium which serves over 300 biological functions within the human body. The guy is right, you fell for a literal fucking meme and now you are drinking pesticide that tricks your body into thinking it is in danger.

>>26328682

This, I'm on moda right now doing an all-nighter, easy to focus and no tiredness.


Caffeine is shit.

>>26328726
>Implying it would be in the same context of "______ normie reeeeeeee"
Try harder

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>work at a cafe
>drink so much coffee all my teeth are rotting and caffein doesn't work how it's supposed to
>I need it just to avoid massive headaches
>my heart hurts
>it's slowly killing me so I'm more inclined to drink it
Tastes great tho.

>>26328714
Your body naturally gets tired throughout the day due to our natural sleeping habits which were small naps throughout the day. For example this is why you crash around 1-2pm and everyone whines about it at work.

But due to the way our modern life is now, we can never take these naps and we are forced to do big long days. The caffeine helps you do this.

Unless you have a job where you are able to take the naps you body is wired to take then you are either fucked or will need to take a stimulant or other drug such as modafinil

>>26328325
I used to work at a Starbucks, and I can confirm. Some coffee drinkers are cool, but the vast majority are the type of assholes who actually think the whole "don't even TALK to me until I've had my coffee" thing is fucking hilarious.

>>26328325
This mug is stupid, you can't even see the level of the coffee.

>>26328794
>I'm on moda right now doing an all-nighte
Fuck that reminds me.

Be careful with modafinil by taking it at the right hours. When I first got it I was studying for exams and I took some at 10pm like a dickhead and I ended up staying awake for nearly 48 hours.

The last 12 hours were brutal because even though I was physically exhausted (Heart rate was through the roof) my mind could not turn off. It literally was alert and wanting stimulation.

Anyone wanting to try modafinil make sure you only take it in the morning so that when it wears off it's time to sleep.

>>26328803
>teeth are rotting
Thats not how coffee works you noob.

It will stain the teeth not cause it to decay.

>>26328874

Yeah, with its 14-15 hour half-life, I avoid taking it after 9-10am, usually take 300mg for an all-nighter.

>>26328813
Or you could cut out refined sugar & caffeine, drink plenty of water and you will not have these crashes. People crash because they eat like shit and over use caffeine, which both cause these dips.

Long term use of caffeine actually makes you more tired than if you did not use it in the first place.

>>26328390
> this
>>26328374
normie get out

>>26328714
Drug habits only start being problematic when either the substance is seriously harming you or you are cut off from your source.

>>26328682
I'd much rather have 600mg caffeine, ty lad.

>>26328325
What are the odds that the person who made this cup is a woman? Jesus fuck they can't even do a completely normal activity like drinking a cup of coffee without acting like they're special for doing it. Yes, I'm a girl coffee drinker. Yes, I drink coffee over twice a day! Don't hit on me you silly boys~

>>26328906
I get plenty of sleep 7-8 hours. Eat very well, oats breakfast and chicken + veggies for lunch and I crash every day.

I drink plenty of water.

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>tfw your only joy of the day is waking up to a fresh pot of coffee

>>26328604
it makes you an insufferable asshole who can't talk about anything but coffee in the morning

>>26328714
Don't drink water. That's a substance. Never drink water or any liquid, and never eat again, as those are all substances. Try doing your daily routine then, faggot.

>>26328924

Modafinil is better in every way though.

>Removes fatigue instead of masking it with Jittery alertness like caffeine does
>Lasts for 11-12 hours unlike the hour or so caffeine does.
>Too much caffeine will fuck with your heart and brain, modafinil doesn't really do anything.

>>26328989
>>Removes fatigue instead of masking it with Jittery alertness like caffeine does
How does that work ?

>>26328989
how does one get modafinil
I don't know if I can convince a shrink that I'm narcoleptic

>>26328813
>i '"naturally"' run out of energy in the middle of the day
nigga this is why coffee is killing you, you are crashing from a caffeine high
if you didn't introduce the chemicals, you wouldn't have these problems

literally drug addict mentality

>>26329015
It's a narcoleptic drug

Turns the brain on all dam day so much so that you could not force yourself to feel mentally tired if you tried.

You can't sleep while on it or feel turned off.

>>26328924
drug habits become a problem when you adopt a meme personality and become an insufferable asshole who can only talk about his drug of choice

>>26328989
Flush your kidneys and heart lad

>>26328989
It has two major drawbacks compared to caffeine, which is why I am not all too interested in it.
It's not well researched and access to it is somewhat restricted.

Caffeine has LITERALLY no drawbacks too.

>>26329039
I live in Australia and I ordered it on line. Delivers through mail to my door. They even got some doctor in Canada to create me a prescription and put it inside the package to get past customs. I take them 3 weeks on 1 week off.

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>>26328325
thanks a lot pham, now i want to get some coffee

>>26328325
I drink like 7 cans of Diet Coke a day and I've never understood how someone can be so addicted to caffeine that they act like an asshole in the morning.

>>26329102
>It's not well researched and access to it is somewhat restricted.
It is very researched and it one of the primary drugs that narcoleptic take. it's very easy to get ahold of.

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pretty sure every normie on /r9k/ is in this thread right now

>>26329102
you're so dumb

>>26328976
Having crashes isnt normal, we are made to be on the go constantly, that is why humans are so great at long distance running and at peak can go pretty much all day if need be, especially when it came to a kill.

It is the caffeine that causes the crash, you are hooked. If you think back far enough, you never needed it in the first place, and you got yourself into a cycle for some reason of relying on it, could have been a late night that started it, could have been a day where you were sick, but you put this onto yourself.

>>26328902
maybe that's the soda then

>>26328325
>hurr durr le don't talk to me b4 my morning coffee
can be seen as another way of saying
>don't talk to me until i'm fully awake
which is a perfectly valid request/expectation regardless of whether or not you're a coffee drinker.

I hate it when people try to talk to me first thing in the morning when I'm not fully awake.

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>Mfw coffee drinkers are not naturally energetic

Literally subhuman trash.

>>26329102
you should see
>>26328792
It also disrupts sleep, causing you to want it more in the morning. You literally do not need it, you only require it because you got yourself into a cycle of crashing through addiction.

>>26328591
thats because you forgot the vodka shots after each

>>26329164
>Having crashes isnt normal
It literally is through.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/20/business/worldbusiness/20iht-workcol21.4.7188541.html?_r=0

Every day after lunch, you find yourself overcome by drowsiness, and you can't get any work done because you just want to crawl under your desk and go to sleep. Why does this happen?

This universal phenomenon, known as the "post-lunch dip," represents a collision of biology and economics.

It is entirely natural for humans to want to go to sleep about seven hours after they have awakened.

But as the internal rhythms of the body call out for rest, the efficiency of the modern workplace demands continued exertion.

What is happening in the body that it craves rest after lunch?

First, the 24-hour cycle of the body, or its circadian rhythm, is naturally in a resting phase at this time. In the afternoon, it happens to converge with another physiological cycle - known as homeostatic - that measures the amount of time spent awake and that is also pushing for a rest.

>>26329190
This is why I get up extremely early.

Just sit around shitposting for a couple of hours in the morning so when the time comes to do anything important you're fully alert.

>>26328604
I don't see what's so bad about a meth habit, it's not like it has many negative effects, and if I don't get it, I'm tired.

>>26329015

It acts on histamine,noradrenaline and serotonin secretion, of which the first two which are involved in wakefulness (Histamine in the regulation of sleep) and noradrenaline which increases HR/BR slightly.

Serotonin is involved in memory retention and improving neurogenesis (generation of brain cells).

Caffeine just acts on your CNS, increasing your HR/BR but it doesn't block the release of hormones involved in sleep like melatonin which means you'll have fatigue when taking it for an all-nighter, but some alertness from the caffeine

>>26329039

Assuming you're UK/US, you can legally import it online.

>>26329190
no it's not you autist
being a groggy faggot doesn't excuse you from doing the things you need to do
it doesn't give you an excuse to be an asshole to people who didn't force you to have a shitty sleep schedule

>>26328325
I hate normie culture and the way they glorify and apply juvenile "wit" to mundane things.

>coffee
>pizza
>mondays
>anything involving any mainstream sport

I hate Fagbook for this very reason. Just shitty, watered-down, rehashed memes posted by soccer moms and lower class idiots.

>>26329094

As a result of increased histamine secretion, you do need to pee more, but you can avoid any side effects from just taking an multi-vitamin and drinking more water.

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>>26329164
>hat is why humans are so great at long distance running
Humans are actually quite terrible at long distance running. We were designed to burst short distances quickly.

I am not sure where this meme originated but I believe Mr Shekelstein from Nike has something to do with it.

>>26329102
>Caffeine has LITERALLY no drawbacks

Are you LITERALLY a spastic? Caffeine is dependency forming, makes you jittery rather than genuinely alert and dehydrates you while causing you to crash after an hour or two.

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I"m an infamous "straight edge" (according to losers on r9k) who will freely admit to being addicted to low dosage caffeine in coffee

this is because, drugs in themselves aren't a problem. It's what their effects on the body are. And low dosage (up to 3 cups) caffeine is completely healthy and proven to enhance intelligence so you're all faggots if you refuse to drink this
>select all images with coffee

>>26329222
It literally says in the article that some people do experience this dip. Most people consume high amounts of sugar, which is in pretty much everything a long with caffiene which makes more sense as to why it is happening. I do not get this dip, I know of others who do not either.

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>>26329279
>We were designed to burst short distances quickly.

We are the fucking best long distance runners in the world over any other fucking mammal.

Rustling my jimmies mate

>>26329102

It is well researched, military uses it for their soldiers on longer shifts if needed, and many studies have done, they've also done an meta-analysis of every study done in the last twenty years and have concluded it does in fact work.

Caffeine has drawbacks, especially at higher doses.

>>26329316
>I do not get this dip, I know of others who do not either
outliers

>>26329316
do not experience*

2firy4u op

>>26329242
I know this is a big surprise to you, but not everybody is nice and chipper in the morning like you. I know it's really difficult to grasp the concept that people are different and that not everybody is a morning person, but please, try to understand, if just for a moment. You can still feel shit and groggy in the morning even with plenty of sleep, there are plenty of other factors that affect how you feel when you wake up.

While I'll agree with you that being tired in the morning doesn't give you an excuse to be a prick to people or shirk your duties, at the same time, I think it's a perfectly reasonable thing to tell someone that you're feeling tired and shitty and don't want to talk right that moment, and conversely, it's pretty shitty to try and ramble on at someone first thing in the morning if they're clearly not a morning person and look like shit (assuming it's casual conversation and not something work related). It's just simple courtesy.

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>>26329323
>We are the fucking best long distance runners in the world over any other fucking mammal.
You're retarded mate. You didn't choose to be but I still can't help but get upset by your ignorance.

Here's a tip: start learning about our endocrine system.

>>26329336
Then why was it mentioned that some people do not experience it? just because it is seen as a norm for people to crash, does not mean that the reasons behind it hard normal. Again, most people eat like shit, even when they think they are eating great. Low fat yoghurts, bread, juice, etc all sugar.

I used to drink coffee every single morning and feel awful for it. The last 5 years I've drank a glass of water as soon as I wake up and I've never felt better in my life, coffee is probably the worst thing you can put in your body if you want to stay awake. Inb4 muh caffeine.

BACON GOES WITH EVERYTHING! :D

>>26329425
>http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/27/health/27well.html

Most mammals can sprint faster than humans having four legs gives them the advantage. But when it comes to long distances, humans can outrun almost any animal. Because we cool by sweating rather than panting, we can stay cool at speeds and distances that would overheat other animals. On a hot day, the two scientists wrote, a human could even outrun a horse in a 26.2-mile marathon.

Why would evolution favor the distance runner? The prevailing theory is that endurance running allowed primitive humans to incorporate meat into their diet. They may have watched the sky for scavenging birds and then run long distances to reach a fresh kill and steal the meat from whatever animal was there first.

Other research suggests that before the development of slingshots or bows, early hunters engaged in persistence hunting, chasing an animal for hours until it overheated, making it easy to kill at close range. A 2006 report in the journal Current Anthropology documents persistence hunting among modern hunter-gatherers, including the Bushmen in Africa.


Have you literally paid any attention at school man?

>>26329425
>be dog
>rape your mom five times before this crying long distance faggot even goes within reasonable distance of your pisstree

>>26328552
Roasting your own is a step too far. I hope you get a coffee bean stuck in your butt.

>>26329493
You can link all sites you want but it won't change the truth.

Heck, I can give you links to sites which claim the world is flat and we never landed on the moon all day but it won't make it true.

Btw, the first Marathon runner died from exhaustion. That should be your first clue ;)

>tfw never ever drink coffee or energy drinks

I don't know how I do it. Not through college or even as a worker do i do this. Maybe that's another aspie trait of mine

>>26329138
>tfw no one takes your b8.
Here's a (You), little guy.

>>26329557
I am at least taking 30 seconds to provide something of reference.

You are nothing more then a liberal arts degree reference of "Cuz i said so".

I am not going to bother to find the perfect scholarly published research paper but I at least did more then you.

>>26329631
>You are nothing more then a liberal arts degree reference of "Cuz i said so".
Nice ad hominem you've got there bitch boy. I'm in the STEM field if you have to know

>C-Citation needed
This is usually what people say when they know you are right, but want to waste your time. Often they will disregard the evidence anyway, even after posting it.

>tl;dr Citations are for redditors who cant think on their own

>>26329697
http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/508695?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
https://dash.harvard.edu/bitstream/handle/1/3743587/2007i.pdf?sequence=1

>>26329676
> I'm in the STEM field if you have to know what made if obvious.
As I am. I have doubts that you are due to the fact you put so little concern in referencing your statements.

Any university worth half a dam would not even let you pass a science course of any kind without providing some evidence of your claims.

Soft science does not count as STEM.

>This is usually what people say when they know you are right, but want to waste your time. Often they will disregard the evidence anyway, even after posting it.
I am literally the one posting any evidence at all even if its half assed.

>>tl;dr Only citations are for redditors who cant think on their own

ITS RIGHT CUZ I SAID SO
NO! THAT REFERENCE IS WRONG
WHY? C-CUZ UM, ER I SAID IT IS!


Actually now that I typed this. 9/10 bait. Though the "I'm in the STEM field if you have to know" gave it away.

>>26329279
>I am not sure where this meme originated

Good thermoregulation would be necessary for a species to be suited to marathon or endurance running. You get too hot too fast, you gotta rest and cool down. Thus it generally doesn't help having a thick layer of fur which will not only insulate you, but will absorb sweat making it evaporate less efficiently.

Speaking of sweat, another thing important for endurance running is being able to deliver oxygen to your muscles. You are less capable of doing this if you rely on panting for thermoregulation instead of sweating.

Or, what, merely pretending?

>>26329425
>Lanky as fuck dude can run a marathon
>Built athlete can run a short distance incredibly quickly
Hmmm, I wonder what is more likely to be the natural state of primitive man, a build that requires relatively low calories or a build that takes years of hard work and eating thousands of excess calories to maintain.

>>26328552
You sound really fucking gay.
Don't post, ever again

>coffee
>bacon
>nutella
the normie memefood triumverate

>>26330012
This.

Offical food of red... phhht 9gag more like. Goddamn. Why can't anyone have their own taste and not parade it around while saying "LOOK GUIZ! I AM ON OF YOU GUYZ! MEMEZ LOLZ."

>>26329953
>cave man sprints to catch antelope
>it runs away just like every other prey due to being slow
>Used small energy but in the end never catch anything
>Do this 20 times a day and fail every time then die due to no food or protein

>cave man runs after antelope
>It slowly gets away but caveman keeps in the hunt over an hour or two and causes antelope to collapse due to exhaustion
>used 10 times the calories of a normal sprint but was able to catch a large prey and won't need to do this again for many days
>Use extra time to evolve into modern man

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A friendly reminder that this is coffee, anything else posted in this thread is just dirty water.

I love coffee and drink 5-6 cups a day, but I 100% agree, the coffee meme is the most enraging thing on earth.

I actually want to bludgeon someone to death whenever they make some stupid quip about their 'morning cup' or have a coffee mug with some smug fucking saying on it

I drink it because caffeine makes me feel better

I'm too poor and anxious to get any illegal drugs, so this works for me

>>26330241
>1 cup of coffee
>$2-$6 depending on country
>Modafinil
>Can get it as low as 50 cents per 200mg pill

>>26330299
It doesn't cost 2-6 dollars for shitty instant coffee you add water to at home

desu it's more the anxious thing, I have no idea how much drugs cost

>>26329557
Do you have literal autism? Are you trying to say theworldisflatjetfuelcantmeltsteelbeems.net has as much validity as actual studies?

I really like the flavor of black coffee. I would drink decaf, but most decaf just doesn't taste as good.

>>26328985
I can go a day without food or water without having withdrawls that make me act like a douchebag.

Is there anything wrong with decaf?

>>26328325
I like coffee because it's easy to make. Mixing up some juice leaves room for error. Water through a filter of coffee grounds is always consistent. I value consistency. I'd drink coffee all day if I wasn't paranoid that as a stimulant it may give me body undue stress. Coffee and iced coffee are gods among drinks.

>>26329396
This post couldn't be more tumblr if you said "die cis scum"

I mostly take caffeine pills because my caffeine tolerance is too high

>>26330446
>Is there anything wrong with decaf?
Aside from being decaf coffee, no. Nothing else is wrong.

>>26330357

>Are you trying to say theworldisflatjetfuelcantmeltsteelbeems.net has as much validity as actual studies?

No, but you are.

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>>26328325
I agree lad, tea is much better

>>26328390
you dont know what a meme is?

>>26330514
Jet fuel CAN'T melt steel beams.

It can be argued to heat them to levels of malleability which can be directly correlated to decreased structural integrity, however.

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>>26330299
>1 cup of coffee
>$2-$6 depending on country
Why the fuck are there so many people who apparently don't brew their own coffee? I'm not even into coffee and I have a brewer because I'm not retarded enough to spend that much on coffee.

>>26330565

Whatever, Schlomo.

>>26328374
>drinking Soda
>not drinking Tea
>not being healthy
lmao

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>>26330596
>NO!
>YES!
>BUT NO I SAID NO!
>LITERALLY YES BECAUSE X Y Z
>WHATEVER! :(

>>26330651
I saw Russell Crowe walk by my work yesterday.

>>26330640
>>26329169
>>26328374
It's pop you subhumans.

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>>26330651

>all this jewish buttuhrt

>>26328474
>drinking leaf juice
>shiggydiggy

>>26330709
It's actually carbonated flavoring but whatever

Everyone loves coffee

>>26330709
canadian fag her as welll

>>26330693
Sydney faggot?

2050 here

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>put on a pot a little while ago
>just took it off, tim hortons brew
>getting comfy and playing some comfy vidya

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>drinking anything but water

>>26330763
Living in sydney
>falling for the bridge meme

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>>26328325
I honestly cannot believe that most people live their entire lives with their sleep/waking cycle being dictated by other people

It's so fucking bleak

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Daily reminder that if you don't smoke and don't drink coffee and whisky, then you're a massive pussy who deserves to be alone.

inb4 enjoy dying, like I give a fuck

>>26332200
That's one of the only things I think coffee is good for
Preventing me from passing out when I'm drunk

Otherwise it's too dysphoric for me to make a real habit out of it

It's also good if you're trying to break a stim habit too

>>26329222
>Every day after lunch, you find yourself overcome by drowsiness, and you can't get any work done because you just want to crawl under your desk and go to sleep.

Speak for yourself.

>This universal phenomenon

No, no it isn't.

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>>26328374
>2016
>Still handing out your sheckels to Mr. Goldstein and the coffee Jews
>Still ruining your teeth so you have hand out your sheckels to Dr. Sachs and the dental Jews
>Still wasting time and energy by preparing and drinking your Venti Lattes

Seriously, no wonder you autists can't get gfs. Every functioning human just buys caffeine pills now.

>>26328325
>not enjoying going to beautiful cafes and having amazing coffee experiences daily

>>26328555
No, asshole, it's the sugar and carcinogens that make it bad for you. Idiot.

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You aren't a true robot unless you sit at home on your computer with a nice hot cup of tea.

Why the hate on coffee? If I have to pull an all-nighter for university, I prefer this to tea. Tea is for staying (sic!) up, tea is for either getting up or calming down. I like both for what they are. Also:
>[year]
>Not having your own coffee machine