Thread replies: 57
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>Did you hear about the wagecuck that learnt to fly?Mr Shekkelstein said a promotion was up in the air for him.
>What eats half a pack of hotpockets at a time and weighs 200lbs?Half a janitor.
>I was surprised to learn that this guy eggman is a virgin...I guess that makes him the only egg that didn't get laid.
>Apparently bad-dragon.com have brought out a new sex toy that fucks you so hard you'll end up spending all your time on it and you'll barely be able to sleep or function properly after.They're calling it 'Employment.'
>A NEET walks into a bar, orders himself a drink and sits down next to a distraught looking wagecuck. He asks him what his problem is and the wagecuck tells him that he was just laid off at work.
>"That's too bad," says the NEET, "what happened?"
>The wagecuck replies, "Well, my boss told me that my performance was weak, I fell shorter than average and I always finish too early."
>The NEET sympathises with him and buys him a drink. The wagecuck tells him that to make matters worse, his girlfriend just left him for another man.
>Now the NEET had just started seeing a girl who was previously in a relationship with a wagecuck, so he asks the wagecuck the name of his ex.
>To their amazement, it's the same girl. The wagecuck is crushed and stares blankly into his drink for a minute before asking if she ever told the NEET why she left him. The NEET hesitates then says,"Well.... She said your performance was weak, you fell shorter than average and you always finish too early."
So who have we got in the crowd tonight? Is that you, Mr Shekkelstein? Thanks for coming out! Let's have a round of applause for Mr Shekkelstein! Yeah, maybe he'll finally give you that promotion from wagecuck to executive wagecuck tomorrow. Enjoy the show, Mr S. Good luck getting a tip from this guy, waiters.
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eggman isn't a virgin pham
keep trying tho
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If you're making them up yourself, I rate 8/10.
What was the surf board one again?
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delicious jokes pham
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>>26322204
bravo neetman
>>26322290
>Why did the robot take up surfing?
>Because it's nice to have a board with no femanons on it.
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>>26322204
im pretty sure if you're on SSI you can't afford to be in a bar at all
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>>26322329
fuck off wagie get back to work
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>>26322303
>copied joke from last post
End your life
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>>26322204
Why did the wagecuck fall asleep? and no it wasn't exhaustion this time before you ask
*canned laughter*Mr Shekelstein told him he would get a promotion 'in his dreams'
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I'll never have to work again, you say? Alright I accept, I'll be a neet and get those bucks and live free for the rest of my life.
Wait, this is where I'm going to live? Well okay... as long as I'm free...
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>>26322270
>pointing out the minor logical flaws in a silly joke
i bet you're a fun guy
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>>26322356
sure. want me to buy you a 6 pack when i return?
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>>26322559
Kek
That's a good one anon
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>>26322595
for you
planeblox
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>>26322564
this pic reminds me of the town in Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland
OH WAIT AMERIFATS DIDN'T GET THAT GAME
HAHAHAHA
jp and eu ftw
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What's the difference between a femanon and a savings account?People actually have interest in their savings account
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>>26322559
damn nigga u funny
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>>26322204
>I guess that makes him the only egg that didn't get laid.
K.E.K.
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>>26322651
>he's so retarded he thinks the DS is region locked
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>>26322651
>he's so retarded he thinks the DS has region lock
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>How do you stop a wagecuck's girlfriend from cheating on him?Stop fucking her!
>How do you teach a manlet algebra?You can't, manlets will never learn.
>Why is it that NEETs never finish anything they start?Because they
>What do you call a robot who's smart but lazy?Lazy.
Any mods or jannies watching the show tonight? I hear Hiroyuki is giving you a massive pay rise soon. Yeah, his 50% salary increase will put your earnings at, let's see... 0 dollars per year! Waiters, don't expect any tips from these guys either.
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In 10 hours I have to get going for work.
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>>26322651
The DS isn't region locked you actual homosexual.
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WAGIES ON SUICIDE WATCH. BASED NEET COMEDIAN IS AT IT AGAIN!
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>>26322742
>>26322823
>>26322786
amerifats so triggered because they have to pay customs on Tingle
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>You guys watch the news, right? Yeah? With the election going on and all? So Bernie Sanders wants to raise the federal minimum wage to at least $15 an hour to give struggling wagecucks a break, hear about that. I heard his plan is to raise NASA's funding so they could shrink the whole planet so that we get 20-hour days. So now instead of it being "another day another dollar" wagecucks can say "another day another dollar-fifty"
Thank you. Thank you.
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Original NEET poster. How do you fund your NEET lifestyle?
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>>26322907
>be American
>not paying 80% of my income in taxes to support nigger migrants
>have some change left over to pay duty
>mfw
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>>26322204
Thisnight is full of funny jokes, as always.
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>>26322446
Not that anon, but he copied that joke just to answer the question the other anon asked this board.
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>>26322808
based comedy NEET
Orginal
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>>26323174
Thisjust came into my mind:.
>Why does a wagecuck enjoy beginnings of mornings?
Becausethose are the only breaks he ever gets to experience
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>>26322204
>half a janitor
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>>26323632
i-i dont get it...
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>>26324802
daybreak, the break of day, break of dawn
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>tfw my NEET comedy club picture is still being used
Haven't been on /r9k/ in nearly a month and it's still going around. Feels good man.
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holy shit these threads just keep getting better
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>>26324873
OP here. Are you the original NEET comedian that used to go on rants about the wagecucks a couple of months ago?
I owe you a lot. Could you make another NEET standup picture? Something with a slightly different setting or a new snuggie or outfit for NEET pepe. I want the NEET comedian to continuously evolve.
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>>26325663
Yep that's me, those were good times in my life, ones I look back on with nostalgia.
Sadly I don't have much time these days, although I did post a couple more with a different setting, pic related.
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>>26325712
Along with this one here.
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>>26325726
And this one here with the buttblasted wagecuck hearing it all.
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>>26325747
And, not quite comedy club related, but here's one last one for good measure.
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>>26325712
>>26325726
>>26325747
>>26325760
You are my hero, NEET comedian. I hope you don't feel cheated by me taking up the mantle. Thanks for the pics, I'll be using them.
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my only question is don't you get bored? I couldn't imagine life without the ability to do shit
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>>26325836
Not at all, in fact I'm quite happy. It warms my heart to see more NEET comedians contribute to the club while I will not get to for a while. But maybe I'll come back some time in the not-too-distant future with a good routine to share.
Your stuff is top notch BTW, keep making 'em laugh and keep driving it to the wagies.
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>>26325924
Putting the wagies in their places, that's why we do it. If you ever need a supporting act for your big comeback, I'm your man.
>>26322329
>>26325897
Lot of wage rage in here tonight! What's the matter? You don't like being a joke unless it's for 8 hours a day and pays my rent?
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>not making money with your comedy skills
You can become self-employed and transcend the NEET/wagecuck dichotomy.
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>>26326183
>paying taxes
Nice try, Mr Shekkelstein.
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Why did the femanon travel to Boston?she heard Tom Brady likes em flat
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B A S E D N E E T
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>>26322969
You fund it for us wagecuck
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working for the government here.
fight me.
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>>26322204
>I guess that makes him the only egg that didn't get laid
Lost, too good
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>>26325663
here's the original
i didnt think people would remember me. thanks for contineuing this meme.
way more creative with it than i am
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Why do they call it "waging war" anyway?Because they both give you low pay, high mortality rate, and your gf is probably going to cheat on you while you're gone
What's the difference between a wagekek and a NEET?about 5 inches
What do you call a NEET on vacation?a NEET
If a wagie commits suicide in a forest and noone is around to hear it does he make a sound?No but his girlfriends moans can be heard for miles
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>>26328887
>What's the difference between a wagekek and a NEET?
>about 5 inches
Oh man
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John had another witty one-liner all typed up, but the power went out. Another hour passed, and the police were knocking on the door. Seems the apartment owner finally got the go ahead from the judge to evict the non-paying NEET who'd been squatting for over a month.
It was really cold outside, and despite his massive girth, he froze to death in four hours. His final thoughts were of chicken tenders and Touhou, and of mummy. He missed mummy, but he'd never see her again.
Thread posts: 57
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Thread images: 22