>Did you hear about the wagecuck that learnt to fly?
Mr Shekkelstein said a promotion was up in the air for him.
>What eats half a pack of hotpockets at a time and weighs 200lbs?
Half a janitor.
>I was surprised to learn that this guy eggman is a virgin...
I guess that makes him the only egg that didn't get laid.
>Apparently bad-dragon.com have brought out a new sex toy that fucks you so hard you'll end up spending all your time on it and you'll barely be able to sleep or function properly after.
They're calling it 'Employment.'
>A NEET walks into a bar, orders himself a drink and sits down next to a distraught looking wagecuck. He asks him what his problem is and the wagecuck tells him that he was just laid off at work.
>"That's too bad," says the NEET, "what happened?"
>The wagecuck replies, "Well, my boss told me that my performance was weak, I fell shorter than average and I always finish too early."
>The NEET sympathises with him and buys him a drink. The wagecuck tells him that to make matters worse, his girlfriend just left him for another man.
>Now the NEET had just started seeing a girl who was previously in a relationship with a wagecuck, so he asks the wagecuck the name of his ex.
>To their amazement, it's the same girl. The wagecuck is crushed and stares blankly into his drink for a minute before asking if she ever told the NEET why she left him. The NEET hesitates then says,
"Well.... She said your performance was weak, you fell shorter than average and you always finish too early."
So who have we got in the crowd tonight? Is that you, Mr Shekkelstein? Thanks for coming out! Let's have a round of applause for Mr Shekkelstein! Yeah, maybe he'll finally give you that promotion from wagecuck to executive wagecuck tomorrow. Enjoy the show, Mr S. Good luck getting a tip from this guy, waiters.
I'll never have to work again, you say? Alright I accept, I'll be a neet and get those bucks and live free for the rest of my life.
Wait, this is where I'm going to live? Well okay... as long as I'm free...
>he's so retarded he thinks the DS has region lock
>How do you stop a wagecuck's girlfriend from cheating on him?
Stop fucking her!
>How do you teach a manlet algebra?
You can't, manlets will never learn.
>Why is it that NEETs never finish anything they start?
>What do you call a robot who's smart but lazy?
Any mods or jannies watching the show tonight? I hear Hiroyuki is giving you a massive pay rise soon. Yeah, his 50% salary increase will put your earnings at, let's see... 0 dollars per year! Waiters, don't expect any tips from these guys either.
>You guys watch the news, right? Yeah? With the election going on and all? So Bernie Sanders wants to raise the federal minimum wage to at least $15 an hour to give struggling wagecucks a break, hear about that. I heard his plan is to raise NASA's funding so they could shrink the whole planet so that we get 20-hour days. So now instead of it being "another day another dollar" wagecucks can say "another day another dollar-fifty"
Thank you. Thank you.
>not paying 80% of my income in taxes to support nigger migrants
>have some change left over to pay duty
night is full of funny jokes, as always.
just came into my mind:.
>Why does a wagecuck enjoy beginnings of mornings?
those are the only breaks he ever gets to experience
>tfw my NEET comedy club picture is still being used
Haven't been on /r9k/ in nearly a month and it's still going around. Feels good man.
OP here. Are you the original NEET comedian that used to go on rants about the wagecucks a couple of months ago?
I owe you a lot. Could you make another NEET standup picture? Something with a slightly different setting or a new snuggie or outfit for NEET pepe. I want the NEET comedian to continuously evolve.
Yep that's me, those were good times in my life, ones I look back on with nostalgia.
Sadly I don't have much time these days, although I did post a couple more with a different setting, pic related.
And this one here with the buttblasted wagecuck hearing it all.
And, not quite comedy club related, but here's one last one for good measure.
Not at all, in fact I'm quite happy. It warms my heart to see more NEET comedians contribute to the club while I will not get to for a while. But maybe I'll come back some time in the not-too-distant future with a good routine to share.
Your stuff is top notch BTW, keep making 'em laugh and keep driving it to the wagies.
Putting the wagies in their places, that's why we do it. If you ever need a supporting act for your big comeback, I'm your man.
Lot of wage rage in here tonight! What's the matter? You don't like being a joke unless it's for 8 hours a day and pays my rent?
here's the original
i didnt think people would remember me. thanks for contineuing this meme.
way more creative with it than i am
Why do they call it "waging war" anyway?
Because they both give you low pay, high mortality rate, and your gf is probably going to cheat on you while you're gone
What's the difference between a wagekek and a NEET?
about 5 inches
What do you call a NEET on vacation?
If a wagie commits suicide in a forest and noone is around to hear it does he make a sound?
No but his girlfriends moans can be heard for miles
>What's the difference between a wagekek and a NEET?
>about 5 inches
John had another witty one-liner all typed up, but the power went out. Another hour passed, and the police were knocking on the door. Seems the apartment owner finally got the go ahead from the judge to evict the non-paying NEET who'd been squatting for over a month.
It was really cold outside, and despite his massive girth, he froze to death in four hours. His final thoughts were of chicken tenders and Touhou, and of mummy. He missed mummy, but he'd never see her again.