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Suicide: no limits
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 137
Thread images: 28
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So if you were to commit suicide,
What would your ideal conditions be? Ie jump off building/ launch self into space/ gunshot

Go
>>
>>26309117
Helium tank desu
>>
shotgun shot to the head, but it'll probably be hanging since acquiring rope is easier than acquiring a shotgun
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>>26309117
How long until egg man shoots up another school?
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>>26309117
Exit bag orignja comment dot jay peg
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>>26309117
Ideally all of the bonds holding my atoms together would simultaneously disappear and I would just cease
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>>26309117
Shoot myself in public
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>>26309117
>image.jpg

Wew

Lad
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>>26309117
idk probably join the army and just go on all the most dangerous missions and try to die a hero
>>
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>>26309117
Here faggot. This list seems legit
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>>26309180
Hopefully not long, I need something to think about?
>>
Lay down in a sleeping bag in a tent, have coal burning in a hibachi. Fall asleep and never wake up. Carbon monoxide.
>>
Coolest way to kill myself would be to drive as fast as I can into a wall OR get a sicknasty jump off a cliff on either a car or motorcycle. Jumping from a really tall location, like a mountain or from an airplane would also be pretty cool.

The most conventional way I'd want to go would probably be hanging, but I might be too heavy for that at 260 lbs.
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>>26309117
i didn't know angela merkel had a snapchat
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I'd hire a hooker, ofc won't tell her that I plan to off myself.

I will bang her near a piece of furniture inside of which I could've put a gun.

When I climax I'll shoot myself in the head.
>>
>>26309264
This seems legit.
Will do and post results
>>
Shotgun to head.
Easiest, most painless way to go.

No fuckin up that one
>>
>>26309117
I did the jump off a building thing and survived. I do not recommend. The moments before you hit the ground are horrible.
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>>26309376
Holy shit, what injuries did you get?
>>
Whatever is quick, painless, and not messy. I wish there was some psychological ability to just make my heart stop beating and die that way.
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>>26309376
Providing you arent bullshitting us, how tall was the building? What happened to you?
>>
Suicide by cop.

shootoutblox
>>
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>>26309376
Describe those moments before impact

Why did you do it? Age?
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>>26309421
Bonus points for pulling out a banana on him.
>>
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>>26309117
Too scared to shoot a gun
Can't tie a noose for shit, also easy to fail
Not cowardly enough to use a helium tank
Only dumbass teenage attention whores go f.or the bottle of pills
I'd slit my wrists
>>
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Eggman is working 3 jobs now

How long until he cracks?
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>>26309117

Get on a raft and put it into the ocean.

Suck on a nitrogen tank with a mask for 15 minutes or so until dead.

Some sort of timer flips my corpse into the ocean.
>>
>>26309252
>setting fire to self duration

every time
>>
commit to ending lobbies... Mark Walberg Sniper anyone that works for a big lobbiest group... They will have to hunt me down but hopfully I put the fear into lobbiest and inspire others to finish my work. #feelthebern!!!!
>>
tall building, bungee cord, short piano wire noose, glue hands to side of head, jump...

head cut off but held by hands as I rebound for a few minutes
>>
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>>26309117
What the fuck is wrong with eggman. He said in his latest video he was considering a third job.

Who is making him do this? Does he have a NEET gf? Is he in debt? What compels a man to willingly cuck himself so hard? He is going to kill himself
>>
Destroyed by a regretful god.

https://youtu.be/oeFZXNDz7uA?t=1m9s
>>
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>>26309117
Here's a eggy pic from yesterday
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>>26309909
Rumor is that he does in fact have a NEET gf, but surely no one is that much of a cuck, especially someone who makes videos like he does. Not to mention she'd have to be a huge bitch if she's using enough resources to make Eggman get a third job.
>>
>>26309966
From Eggy's latest vid

"Working my 2 jobs, I make about 2400 a month after taxes
1000 rent
100 electric
50 internet
100 phone
Gas varies, but I do commute to both jobs every day.
Repaying my debts is about 1k a month for the next few months yet
and then food and energy drinks since I drink energy drinks a lot and have to eat a lot of fast food due to no time to cook.
So best case scenario, 0 dollars left at the end of the month on 2 jobs. So I need 3 jobs"

jesus christ
>>
If you need to spend time thinking of ideal conditions you're not really suicidal
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>>26310027
What debts has he amassed?
>>
chillin in my car bumpin something nice while fumes take me out
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>>26310046

No. There's a lot of painful ways to kill yourself, and some that aren't 100% successful.

The answer is nitrogen.
>>
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>>26310084
RIP eggman

9876852
>>
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>>26310027
>eggman's parents don't love their son enough to help him out when he's working two fulltime jobs
>>
IV fentanyl
>>
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>>26310210
remember that those are not his real parents

he was adopted
>>
Climb a very tall mountain with no gear for a descent. Won't suffer at all as I die since I'll be delirious from running out of oxygen.
>>
So here's how it goes. First I obtain a golden tiger stripe pattern desert eagle chambered in .50AE. I then spend the rest of my money on a high quality suit and a butt plug. I then insert the butt plug and binge on beans and laxatives for 3 to 4 days. After eating a dangerously large quantity of food, I don my suit, retrieve my desert eagle and make sure my butt plug is in tight. I then drive to the nearest daycare center, enter the room with the most kids, Scream, I NEED A DOCTOR and rip off my suit, pull out the butt plug, and shoot myself in the head. I will then fall to the floor, naked and convulsing in 6-8 inches of rotten shit in front of multiple children. Way I see it, if I'm going to end myself, I might as well make it exciting for someone.
>>
I could go for some suicide right now tbqhfam
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>>26309117
>Be Australian
>No guns
so..

I will set up a noose and stand on a chair, while drinking and using painkillers till i pass out, i will then fall off the chair and choke to death with limited pain
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>>26310365
I wish there was someone as serious about it as yourself nearby me. I want to suicide but want to do it with someone.
>>
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I would say helium exit bag but they put oxygen in those now. So I would rather want a headshot in the head or a quick train passing while I lay my neck on the track.
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>>26310367
Drinking and taking drugs is a pretty good way to end up fucking up your attempt
>>
spree killing follow by death by cop
>>
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>3 JOBS
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>>26310365
honestly bro i don't condone suicide, but in your case i say it's okay if you killed yourself. You want to work 3 jobs but the problem is you can't keep working at this pace for the rest of your life. You're gonna reach your 30's soon and your body slow down and it will onlt get worse from there. Kill yourself now before it's too late.
>>
>>26310365
When is the Eggcast?
>>
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>>26310404

Can the patron saint of wagecuckery be stopped?
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>>26309252
how would they get the ratings out of them, bc they dead-o
>>
Triggering a supernova in a nearby star system
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>>26310401
how? is there a flaw to this? do you think i will magically get "happy" from using drugs/alcohol and then pull out?

whenever i drink, i cry and when i use painkillers i lose all connection with the world and don't care
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>>26310447
You're more likely to do it wrong
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>>26310365
Why are you considering a third job, bro? There's no fucking way you're body could deal with that
>>
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>>26310404
>>26310436
Eggy's current favorite song.

https://youtu.be/-xtnwQmVIs0
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>>26310571

NEET song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dSzaScsWh4
>>
>>26309328
I read about this serial killer who would snatch little girls and have them blow him, then shoot them in the head when he climaxes.

He was called the sunset strip killer or something like that. Your comment just reminded me of it
>>
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>LMAO 3 JOBS

soon it will be 12 jobs xD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPFTJPT9ZpU
>>
I wish there was a reliable way to kill myself with 0% chance of survival and suffering.
I don't have access to guns in my country.
>>
>>26309117
Sliver clearer in water
no pain
no awareness of it
You just go to sleep and dont wake up.
>>
>>26309117
Cigarettes and alcohol
>>
>>26310616

>21 hour workdays
>2 1
>2
>1

Eggman is going to die from stress
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>>26309117
I want a qt.13 yandere grill to kill me
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>>26309252
Shotgun to head duration: 1.7 minutes. Hmmmm
>>
After some thought I decided I'm definitely hanging myself when I get home from work
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>>26311194
Stream it, die like the attention whore you are family
>>
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>>26311194
godspeed eggman
>>
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>>26311194

>Eggman finally taking his leave

I loved "The black pill" eggchad. Even if you amounted to nothing in your life, you still brought me enjoyment with your videos.
>>
>>26311194
Eggman pls no
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>>26311194
I'll join you some day, eggy.
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>>26311194
Come live with me eggman
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>>26311194
can you do a last video please
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>>26309252
>it takes 17 minutes to die from a train hitting you.
>>
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Rube Goldberg machine
>alcohol, LSD, helium tank, shotgun to head when I lose consciousness , on top of a tall building, on the edge of a dock so I fall into water

This is the best way I can think of to kill yourself
>>
I'm lonely and scared. I want to kill myself but I don't want to mess it up :(
>>
>>26311194
hey man, dont do it

but hey if you do stream it
>>
>>26309399
It's called electrocution.
>>
>>26309117
reacting to a mugger and getting shot but not before slashing his throat
>>
>>26309252
>OD from illegal drugs
>agony 5
drugs are literally a gift I can't believe this
guess who's snorting a mountain?
>>
>>26311194
stream it

make that the final "fuck you" to the world for making you an hero
>>
>>26311351
Presumably it's an average which retards jumping at the station drag up.
>>
I've always wondered how it would be to be killed while unconscious, so maybe passing out from sleep deprivation and having a cinder block crush my head.
>>
>>26311356
and a nuke and a black hole at the end, for good measure
>>
Just some information for you guys from someone who was briefly dead from a heroin overdose. Revived by paramedics. While I was gone, there was nothing. Nothing. If that's what you want, then suicide holds exactly that. Existence on the other hand, hold everything. That's enough to keep me going, and I suffer depression that is so severe that I sometimes wonder why a human being is capable of feeling so badly. Questions welcome.
>>
>>26311568
Nothing as in you are in a black vortex? Or as in nothing like no more self awareness?
>>
>>26311568
>While I was gone, there was nothing. Nothing.

we know that
god doesn't exist after you die you fall in a deep sleep you never wake up from or have dreams.
>>
>>26311568
well no shit there was nothing. you lost consciousness and the time between your medical death and reanimation left a blank slate in the gap where brain activity may have generated something.
>>
Swallow a XR gel cap that would dissolve until it reaches the colon containing potassium cyanide, along with a few gel caps including several hundred milligrams of flubromazolam and acetyl-fentanyl, then inject a gram of heroin and go to sleep. Ideally done in the far north of Quebec in the middle of absolute nowhere. The cyanide would just be a fail safe, ideally it wouldn't be necessary.
>>
>>26309642
That is why I asked in his last video he said he was up to 90 hour work weeks
>>
Like a dreamless sleep. You have no consciousness. There is no longer a 'you'. Muse over the word nothing for as long as it takes to be gripped with an existential dread, and you have begun to grasp the concept of nothing. Now, whether you come to terms with it, or not, is the next frontier. This is not an exercise I recommend to any of you, however.
>>
>>26311568
How did the nalaxone feel? I've heard it feels absolutely horrific.
>>
>>26311607
No, you just came to a conclusion based on logic. After death, there are endless possibilities, and you knew not.
>>
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>>26311658
>After death, there are endless possibilities, and you knew not.
>>
>>26311638
meant for >>26311596

>>26311651
I felt nothing coming back. First thought I had was along the lines of "oh, I'm back in where there are essence, rather than nothing" and that was horrifying. The naloxone left me feeling confused for a couple of hours, and that's about it. Physically, it was not especially uncomfortable at any point, more unpleasant, if I had to put a word to it.
>>
>>26310247
At least he isn't a Manlet.
>>
>>26311716
Hardly matters if youre that ugly. The biggest dork in my highschool was 6'5
>>
>>26311686
It means that you had only ideas about death, not experience, you dullard.
>>
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Asphyxiate myself like this fine chap.
>>
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is it me or does this guy in the pic look like eggman?
>>
>>26309117
I would probably jump in front of the commuter rail in my city
>>
>>26309252

>Seppuku
>51% Lethality

Are you seriously trying to tell me if I cut my stomach open and my intestines start spilling out there's a 49% chance of me living
>>
Haul a bunch of logs/wood from the forest, prop them up in a "Tipi" style structure. Soak the base with lighter fluid. Sit inside. Light the ring around me, as it starts burning, shoot myself.

This would be done in an open field next to a road, with authorities noted, so that the fire is not left to go out of hand and destroy property/forest. Also, if done right, my body could be burnt down in the pyre.

I do not want to involve anyone, wether a "goodbye" phonecall or text, I do not want a loved one to find my body. I just want to go off the grid right before, then die.
>>
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>Go to kindergarten
>Slit throat in front of the children
>>
>>26311776
tfw i look like that but without the face and hair
and im 20
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>>26311985
DON'T DO IT EGGMAN!!
>>
>>26312026
Eggman is too important to sacrifice his life for some measly kids.
>>
>>26310613
...he wasn't worried about shooting his dong through the victim's head?
>>
>>26310394

Nitrogen is a much safer inert gas, and it already makes up 80% of the air you breathe.
>>
>>26310617

Breathe in pure nitrogen.
>>
>>26309843
>>26310820
>>26311351
The minutes are obviously seconds
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>>26312332
Where can I buy nitrogen?
>>
>>26312437

There are paintball canisters you can buy on Amazon that use nitrogen instead of CO2. But they might need regulators to control the air pressure, and I don't know what volume is needed.

You definitely don't want CO2, since it causes a panic response in mammals (like when you hold your breath).

Breathing in pure nitrogen is like breathing air, until you pass out from lack of oxygen, and your brain eventually dies.
>>
>>26309241
That's not how it works faggot.
>>
>>26309129
Most of them contain o2
don't fuck yourself over friend
Anyone here tried purchasing 99% helium or CO?
>>
>>26311880

There are some serious arteries you can knick if you disembowel yourself. If immediate medical attention is not administered, I would say your chances of dying are around 95%
>>
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>>26309117

Black hole.

I want to become the spaghetti I have spilled so many times in my life.
>>
>>26309117
Who is this man? Paul McCartney's son?
>>
aerosol can
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>>26312712

NITROGEN
>>
>>26310210
His face is so disgusting, not even his parents love guk
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>>26309117
Euthanasia coaster or bust.
>>
>>26309117
Running into a crowd with a grenade in my hands
>>
Why fear death? You weren't inconvenienced by the great before, and you won't be by the great after.
>>
I want to do yoga until I suck my own dick and die from auto-erotic asphyxiation by suffocating on my cock.

That or I just do drugs until I eventually die.
>>
>>26309117
Drink one large bottle of vodka, and go swim in river. Simple and fun way to die like i deserved for.
>>
ideal suicide: sleeping pills and carbon monoxide poisoning. Or an assisted suicide where i hire someone to shoot me in the back of the head to guarantee i don't fuck that up.
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>>26309896
He was as reddit in death as he was in life...
>>
>>26309117
detonated the entire planet and instantaneously shut down all probes drones and man-made satellites
FUCK ALL OF YOU
>>
Lads, what about tying a rope around your neck, the other end to a tree, then getting in your car and driving as fast as possible?
>>
Kamakaze tank thru parliment.
>>
Cover myself in magnesium and set myself on fire sprinting through a crowded city street.
Thread replies: 137
Thread images: 28
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