[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Home]
4Archive logo
Why do men have a tendency to get really...
If images are not shown try to refresh the page. If you like this website, please disable any AdBlock software!

You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 174
Thread images: 14
File: 1334628464173.jpg (17 KB, 350x277) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1334628464173.jpg
17 KB, 350x277
Why do men have a tendency to get really hung up on one woman for a long time even if she pretty clearly rejects him?

Why would you continue to try to force someone to date you when they've made it really clear that they don't like you, instead of just trying to find someone else who does like you? In the time you spend hung up on one girl, you could have probably already found a girl who does like you. You just keep trying and getting rejected until you find one who does.

I don't think I've known a single man who hasn't done this before, normie or otherwise. Women I've known have done it too, but it seems like it is a less lot common or the guy they pine after just straight up tells them that they're a crazy bitch and to fuck off.

Is it because women aren't rude enough or something? Do they need to tell you to straight up fuck off?
>>
>>26292789
>Why do men have a tendency to get really hung up on one woman for a long time even if she pretty clearly rejects him?

It takes men longer to grow up.
>>
>>26292789
No, it's because most men in the circles that use this board are spoon-fed the idea that they're the heroes of their own lives, the "main character", if you will, for decades. Therefore, any negative interaction with their chosen "love interest" is merely "chemistry" that will develop into a real relationship as a result of the adversity they endure together.

Sadly, this line of thinking ends up here, /r/theredpill, or both, God help us.
>>
Because men actually experience love, a concept that's utterly foreign to women
They just are looking for a provider or the next seat on the cock carousel
>>
its called true love.
>inb4 war over semantics about what love, lust, infatuation, adoration, stalking, etc, etc mean until the goal post is moved 1,000 times
>>
>>26292839
>men actually experience love, a concept that's utterly foreign to women

It's always funny when a guy on r9k of all places blathers stupid shit like this.
>>
>>26292901
it's always funny when people draw up conclusions on you based on the board you browse, it happens like 10 thousand times a day.
>>
>>26292789
men have souls
>>
>>26292789
>implying women ever CLEARLY reject.
>implying a woman's idea of clearly rejecting a man isn't blinking "fuck off" in morse code.
>hurrrr why doesn't he just take the hint?
>>
File: 1315303238121.png (142 KB, 511x564) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1315303238121.png
142 KB, 511x564
>>26292789
>Why do men have a tendency to get really hung up on one woman for a long time even if she pretty clearly rejects him?

It's something called love.

You women wouldn't know anything about it.
>>
>>26292789
>when they've made it really clear that they don't like you


Because they never do this and a girl playing hard to get and wants you to chase her acts the same way as a girl who doesn't like you
>>
>>26292789
>n the time you spend hung up on one girl, you could have probably already found a girl who does like you. You just keep trying and getting rejected until you find one who does.

Female privilege, the sentence.
>>
>>26292936
i got 'rejected' by this girl after we hooked up in bed.
i didn't know i was rejected until i messaged her and she apologized for leading me on. i genuinely liked her.
other than that, i was convinced we were going to be in a relationship.

OP has rose tinted glasses on, fucking all women do.
>>
I'm seeing the word love being used a lot in this thread and can't help but laugh. Robots think wanting to dick a pretty girl is love. That's just too good. Love is fucking mutual attraction. If the girl doesn't like you then how is it love? Does everybody who jerks off to a porn star love her? You guys are just throwing the word love around and it has lost all meaning.
>>
>>26292988
>Robots think wanting to dick a pretty girl is love. That's just too good. Love is fucking mutual attraction. If the girl doesn't like you then how is it love? Does everybody who jerks off to a porn star love her?

Way to prove their point, by showing you've never experienced love. Love for men, is an intense, self-sacrificing obsession with a woman. Men build cities, cultures, religions and societies, sculpt art, go to war and die all for the sake of love. Nothing in this world loves harder than the human male. That's why you cannot understand what love is. Because you, like all women, are incapable of feeling it.
>>
>>26292789
Shallow vapid whore
>>
>>26292962
this tbrqfh
>>
>>26293013
What you're describing is what a fucking beta orbiter feels when he's with his female friend, not love. Jesus christ. It's really no surprise that women don't want you failures and just fucking use you like tools because you are tools. You just offer yourselves up as fucking slaves and not men.

ITT: Betas
>>
>>26292988
no we fall in love with our female friends you blithering buffoon.
but go on right ahead trying to define love, now that's really laughable.
>inb4 semantics
>>
>>26293013
Sounds like a pathological infatuation desu m8
>>
File: jab.jpg (31 KB, 520x400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
jab.jpg
31 KB, 520x400
>>26293049
>le i'm not a part of r9k, i just post here meme!
heh heh heh heh, haven't seen this one before.
>>
>>26293077
>le everyone on 4chan is the one person meme

Are you arguing with yourself, then? It wouldn't surprise me, you moron.
>>
>>26292789

I'm pretty sure it has to do with a lot of guys being depressed and lonely. If they have really low self-esteem, they might think that this girl is the ONLY one who will ever give him the time of day, the ONLY chance he has to stop being single.

Society puts a pressure on men to not be single. A measure of your success as a person is tied to whether or not you're a virgin, how easily you can get laid, how easily you can be in a relationship. So if a person has been single for a long time, possibly his whole life, any chance he has to get validation is one he's going to cling to for dear life.

>Why would you continue to try to force someone to date you when they've made it really clear that they don't like you, instead of just trying to find someone else who does like you? In the time you spend hung up on one girl, you could have probably already found a girl who does like you.

Because people who have been single for long enough, despite desperately wanting to be in a relationship, think that there's no possible way they could get 'someone else'. It's not like getting in contact with girls is easy for someone with a lonely and depressed mentality; a girl who's rejecting him is still acknowledging his existence, and that's the most he's had for a while. It's no wonder he doesn't want to let go.

Of course, there's also the HUGE ego mentality, where a guy thinks he can get any girl he wants, so a girl rejecting him is just a challenge. He wants to prove his masculinity and power by 'winning' the girl despite her lack of interest. This mentality is also a symptom of society making men feel bad for being single or being unable to 'get' girls, since it makes 'getting' girls a form of power and validation. It's a shitty system for all involved.
>>
>>26293049
>What you're describing is what a fucking beta orbiter feels when he's with his female friend, not love.

But when Odysseus feels the same thing, he's heroic. When Shakespeare feels the same thing, he's romantic and artistic. When Alexander the Great feels the same thing, he's a conqueror.

The only distinction between alphas and betas is how attractive they are and how good they are at communicating their feelings.
>>
>>26293098
>This mentality is also a symptom of society making men feel bad for being single or being unable to 'get' girls, since it makes 'getting' girls a form of power and validation.

I don't give a shit what society thinks of me for being alone, I just want to end the loneliness.
>>
>>26293106
I haven't read that nerd shit but if they felt that exact way then they're fucking betas. I don't care what you think they are because you're clearly wrong if that's what you think love is.

If I described love as two people wanting to fuck each other, it would be closer to the truth than anything posted in this thread. Notice that I say "wanting to fuck each other" and not "he wants to fuck her".
>>
>>26293150
Oh, you're baiting. Should've caught on sooner.
>>
>>26293106

How can you guys be so deluded? You just proved that you fell for the literature and Hollywood meme. You simply expect to get the girl in the end, or that if not people will look up to you for loving a woman unconditionally. Here's a hint: They won't.

You won't know what real romantic love feels like unless you've experienced MUTUAL love.
>>
>>26293163
I'm baiting am I? You should try some baiting. I hear fish is good for the brain. I have no doubt that robots don't eat enough fish.
>>
File: no plebs alloww.jpg (144 KB, 500x500) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
no plebs alloww.jpg
144 KB, 500x500
>>26293106
Bullshit, when did Odysseus exhibit any beta behaviour, or Shakespeare and Alexander for that matter? Sounds like you're just chucking names like a pleb
>>
>>26293226
I'm not the Anon you were talking to, but are you fucking retarded? Your reading comprehension is wack. He was saying that obsessive passion and unwillingness to give up on something or someone is beta when betas do it, and alpha when alphas do it. He was saying it has to do with how attractive they are, but in my opinion it has more to do with how successful they are (for whatever reason).
>>
>>26293137

At least a part of the loneliness you feel is the cause of society. So many cultural symbols encourage you to be in a relationship, and show relationships as a sign of success. Can you really claim that you'd still be just as lonely if there wasn't this expectation that you should be able to get a girlfriend? If there wasn't this idea that 'normal people' can be in a relationship if they really want to, which makes you a lesser person since you feel like you can't? If there wasn't an expectation that you're supposed to have gotten laid or other relationship-related achievements by certain ages?

When I was still a virgin when I turned twenty, I thought I was a horrible, disgusting freak. I contemplated going to therapy to figure out how to 'fix' whatever thing must be terribly wrong with me. I contemplated suicide because I worried that I was permanently broken and unlikable, that there wasn't a point to my existence since no one would ever like me enough to be in a relationship with me. There I was, in college for almost two years, with no sexual contact at all. People would CONGRATULATE me on being a virgin, because they thought I was deliberately holding onto my virginity for religious reasons or whatever. It presented this idea that getting laid was so fucking easy for normal people that it took effort to NOT get laid, which only made me feel even more disgusting.

If it was just a matter of "well, I still really want someone to be attracted to me enough to want to be in a relationship with me or to do lewd things with me, and that hasn't happened yet, which sucks" without society making me feel like I was a complete Goddamn failure for being in the situation I was in, I would have been a lot happier.
>>
>>26292789
-men typically don't have as many options for dating as you do, so they can't just swap for a new woman so easily

-men are taught to pursue and win over women, that if they're not assertive they will not be loved, and sometimes they don't know when to quit

-what's required for men to kill their feelings usually involves cutting all contact. but then women will say shit like "why can't men be friends ))):

but the major thing is lack of opportunity and being in the pursuing position. they can't find someone else unless they put in significant effort, they won't just be chosen by someone else
>>
>>26293279
Odysseus wasn't being pathological - he had duties to his wife, family and kingdom, ones that trumped his personal references (fuck, he could have just stayed fucking Circe).

Passionate figures in Shakespeare tend to constantly fuck up, harming those around them, friends and enemies alike - they are tragic figures and tyrants, not people to emulate.

Alexander was simply fulfilling his duty as a king too.

Once again, the NEET name drops classical figures and classical texts, with no actual knowledge of the themes and contexts.

Go drink bleach you fucking pleb.
>>
>>26293091
so you're saying you're a normie?
congratulations, you have no point being here.
>>
>>26292789
I'm guessing hope for a lot of them. I've been hung up on a girl where there's been a slight chance before
>>
>>26293418
No. I'm more of a robot than almost everybody on this board. Why? I'm a virgin who does not feel bad in the slightest for being a virgin. Nobody else can make me feel about it either because I truly do not care what they think.

I get called a normie all the time when I'm actually more of a robot than you idiots.
>>
File: 1448139802309.jpg (37 KB, 480x360) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1448139802309.jpg
37 KB, 480x360
I used to think like OP. I just bounced from rejection to rejection. You know, it's funny. I never realized I had a heart until I felt it getting smaller.
>>
I need to be told to fuck off because I'm an autistic fuck.

Unless someone explicitly makes it clear that they don't want me around I will continue sperging.

there's one grill who has listened despite everyone making fun of me, and I think its out of pity, but I dont know what to say to make her like me, I cant get in her head, I cant read her thoughts or mannerisms as easily I can with others
>>
File: 1411269786198.jpg (9 KB, 201x251) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1411269786198.jpg
9 KB, 201x251
>>26293456
so you're a robot you're just not beta?
you're just above everyone else, i get it, no need to continue to blow smoke, sheesh.
consider my fedora tipped, good sir.
>>
>>26293410
>Passionate figures in Shakespeare tend to constantly fuck up, harming those around them
What does that have to do with anything? Coriolanus' stubbornness and principles compelled him to wage war against his own people and family, and he still did it, successfully. That's alpha as fuck.

>Alexander was simply fulfilling his duty as a king too.
Hahahahahah. Okay. Because that's what every king does, right? They conquer the entire world? He wasn't special, it was just duty.

I actually don't know what we are arguing about, since neither the original Anon or I have said that any of these characters are beta, and neither have you, you just misunderstood his post completely. What is your point, again, exactly?
>>
>>26292821
>they're the heroes of their own lives, the "main character", if you will, for decades.
I still thinks this holds true. Everyone is the lead in their own story.
But sometimes it's a tragedy.
>>
>>26293503
I'm only above you because I don't feel "tfw no gf". That's the only reason. If you weren't so stupid, you could join me. Try

>tfw the only way to get anywhere in life is to get along with the fucking normies because they're the majority and therefore rule the world

That's a lot worse than no gf.
>>
>>26292839
Being in love doesn't make you a retarded person. It might take longer to get over them, but you can still do it when they tell you they don't have feelings for you and move on with your life.
>>
>>26292948
Love goes two ways, it's not love if you love someone and they don't want to be with you and tell you so and you keep trying to force them to love you
>>
>>26293106
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tragedy
>Tragedy is a form of drama based on human suffering that invokes an accompanying catharsis or pleasure in audiences.
>>
>>26293098
Thanks for this, you made some great points and I agree. You've explained it better than anyone else in this thread.
>>
>>26293891
>based on human suffering
>invokes pleasure in audiences

So what, normies are all sadists? It would explain a lot.
>>
>>26293402
>-men typically don't have as many options for dating as you do, so they can't just swap for a new woman so easily
I get that, but why cling to one woman who doesn't want you instead of just moving on? It's not like being alone is worse than being constantly rejected by someone.

>-men are taught to pursue and win over women, that if they're not assertive they will not be loved, and sometimes they don't know when to quit
And that's bullshit and from TV and movies and not how real relationships work at all.

>-what's required for men to kill their feelings usually involves cutting all contact. but then women will say shit like "why can't men be friends ))):
And that is totally bullshit and they are bitches for doing that. I completely understand that.
>>
>>26293465
I feel like getting hung up on women who continue to reject is probably terrible for your self esteem. It's probably way better for you to be alone than to constantly be reminded that this person you love doesn't want you.
>>
>>26293910
Every human derives some pleasure from viewing a tragedy. Why do you think this website exists? It makes people feel better about themselves. It's pretty basic psychological concept. It isn't just normies, either.
>>
>>26293992
I've never asked a girl out and therefore have never been rejected. I feel pretty good about myself and even like what I see in the mirror. You think I give a fuck if a girl looks at me or tries to talk to me? I have fucking ascended, my friend.
>>
>>26294028
I'm agreeing with you if you didn't notice
>>
>>26292789
I don't keep trying once I see that they do not like me, I just get really sad and regret trying in the first place for about a month.
>>
>>26293523
No, nobody is the "main character" in their own story, with the possible exception of celebrities and war heroes. This notion goes hand in hand with the idea that other people are disposable NPCs that can be abused without consequence, and - shockingly - when you abuse people they often do not want to be in your presence.
>>
laughing whores. jpeg
>>
>>26294040
That's fine and totally normal Anon, don't beat yourself up over it. Just don't blame yourself for why someone doesn't like you back, it's not your fault.

Unless you're like some sort of subhuman being who barely showers and can speak with other people at all, you're probably fine and just haven't found someone right for you. There's minor things you can do to improve yourself like lose weight if you're fat and stuff, but those are just things you should do for your own benefit anyway.
>>
Might have something to do with standards. Like I've only been attracted to two people in my life. Never asked them out. When attractive people are a rarity you don't just "go find another".

Might also have something to do with an ideal love story vs reality.
>>
>>26294092
I know this feel well. Only rarely do I see a girl that really stands out. Of course I do absolutely nothing and keep walking but the thing is that you don't always see that person again. The world is a very large and lonely place for people like us.
>>
>>26294092
>>26294129
You probably have really high standards because you've never actually dated anyone. People aren't special snowflakes, aside from a few major things like what you want out of life, what you want in a relationship, their general personality, they tend to be pretty similar to each other. And even then, in those cases, there are groups of people who want the same things in life, in a relationship, and have similar personalities.

This whole idea that you have a "soul mate" is completely retarded and unrealistic. Why don't you just try going out on dates with people and see for yourself?
>>
File: Enough-05.jpg (26 KB, 420x420) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Enough-05.jpg
26 KB, 420x420
>>26293962
>I get that, but why cling to one woman who doesn't want you instead of just moving on? It's not like being alone is worse than being constantly rejected by someone.

You may have read about the feeling 'love' being similar to drug addictions, brain chemistry wise.
That's like asking, "Why doesn't that heroin addict just stop taking heroin xDDDD"

But I guess that hasn't crossed your mind because you're a stupid whore.
>>
>>26294129
If there were enough attractive people maybe we'd eventually learn theough trial and error like the normies. But oh well.
>>
because they are idiots who don't realize there are literally a billion+ other girls in the world. if a girl isn't interested, move on and stop wasting your time.
>>
>>26294194
Because I'm not attracted to blonde or brown hair. Every single girl has those hair colors if they aren't from tumblr, and tumblr is a red flag.
>>
>>26294196
I get that, I've been in an abusive relationship before and I know that whole "why didn't you just leave him if he was so shitty then lol xD". That's why I posed it in the form of a question.

Trust me, I understand it better than anyone else having low self esteem and trying to cling to the one thing you view as being "good" in your life when it's actually making things worse for you. It can't be healthy to try to cling to someone who keeps telling you they don't want you.
>>
>>26292789
I don't know either, the least attractive quality is not liking me.
>>
>>26294220
You are making a lot of assumptions there. Maybe you should try actually meeting people and getting to know them before you decide what they're all like. Like I said, you have really high standards because you've never actually dated anyone before.

Picture related, this girl has unnatural hair and she is anti-feminist
>>
>>26294194
Go out on dates? I'll gladly date somebody I like, as soon as I find someone I like. Well no, that's not true at all. I don't speak to women because I don't want to be in a relationship. It's actually a good thing that I have high standards. They're keeping me safe.
>>
>>26294263
That's not how it works. You go on a date with someone to get to know them better to find out if you like them.
>>
>>26294281
Maybe that's how your stupid ass does things. I don't need to fucking one on one with someone to know what they're like. Also, did you miss the part where I said I don't even want a girlfriend?
>>
>>26294052
I think you're a retarded person.
>>
>>26294248
Good for her, i've only met like two girl with unnatural hair colors and one was a crazy short chubby weeaboo, and the other is dating my best friend. Most girls I see in real life, have blonde or brown hair, and even worse they keep it in a ponytail. But then again I only leave my house to go to college. I'm not dumb enough to believe generalizations but I still use them for caution. Even if I saw a girl I have no clue how to talk to them. I've only been competent at talking to a girl once, and thats was cause we were in a group in spanish class and both liked MCR. I still don't think there was anything romantic there.
>>
>>26292988
>Love is fucking mutual attraction
Radfem is booked for the next 11 hours shitposting on r9k, pretty sure she posted all the copypasta threads that sprung up around now too.

Unrequited love continues to be a real thing.
>>
>>26294312
That is how everyone does dating. Before you ask someone on a date, you aren't getting to know them in a romantic/dating setting, you're only getting to know them as a friend. Then once you ask them on a date you discuss dating and romantic related topics and figure out if you are compatible with each other in that sense.

Didn't anyone ever sit you down and have a conversation with you about dating when you were growing up? Like this is pretty basic stuff
>>
File: image.jpg (43 KB, 850x478) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
image.jpg
43 KB, 850x478
>>26294281
That sounds horrible to the idealist in me. I'd rather move from friendship to relationship, but thats what people refer to as the friendzone and nice guy problems.
>>
>>26292789
>Why do men have a tendency to get really hung up on one woman for a long time even if she pretty clearly rejects him?
its hard to give up on some one you love and its diffrent when they start off saying they love you too
>>
>>26294350
Moving from friendship to relationship right away is too much of a risk and there is less chance of success. You're right about it being an idealist theory. You're setting yourself up for failure if you just jump into a relationship with anyone without getting to know them on a romantic/dating level.
>>
>>26294346
Why would I want to be friends with a woman? What the fuck could I possibly talk to a woman about that I couldn't with a guy? Nobody talked to me about anything while growing up. I've spent my life alone and I'll spend the rest of it alone. I'm not some weak idiot who needs friends.
>>
>>26294362
Everyone has been there, but if someone pretty clearly rejects you it's really unhealthy to continue to stay hung up on them for a long time. Everyone will tell you just have to force yourself to move on.
>>
>>26293962
>but why cling to one woman who doesn't want you instead of just moving on

The point is that, when a woman comes into a man's life it can feel more like "she's the one!!" since there are not many women for men

so they tend to get hung up.

"moving on" usually means putting in significant effort to seek out women and win them over. so men typically don't want to give up hope that that women will eventually love them.

if men had lots of women giving them attention, even purely sexual attention, I don't think they would get clingy
>>
>>26294381
I kinda get that you'd have to discuss that shit, but fuck if I know what to discuss having never been in a relationship before in my life.
>>
>>26294387
>Why would I want to be friends with a woman?
You kind of need to be willing to be friends+partners with someone you're wanting to have a relationship with. You spend a lot of time with them, more or the same amount as you spend with a friend. A partner is basically a friend that you love and are romantic with.

Seriously though, did no one ever talk to you about this when you were growing up?
>>
>>26294346

Is american 'dating' really that mechanic and formulaic? I thought that's only in stupid sitcoms
>>
>>26292789
because men are born to fight over the most desirable prize. Look at the animal kingdom. We are animals.

it's not difficult to understand. but you have to accept we are emotion driven animals most of the time and logic plays little part in desire.
>>
>>26294422
Everyone has been there before, don't worry. It's just all part of "navigating" dating. You will fail and it will be shit, but that is all part of painting a more clear picture of what you want out of a partner and a relationship.
>>
>>26292988
>never heard of "unrequited love"
>>
>>26292789
Men are capable of love, something you simply wouldn't understand as a woman
>>
>>26294401
>but if someone pretty clearly rejects you it's really unhealthy to continue to stay hung up on them for a long time.
ive never been able to got over being told about how she thinks we are soul mates and how she loves and wants to marry me one day and suddenly just kinda changing her mind
>>
>>26294425
Well, if my non-existent girlfriend is anything like the one or two people I've called friends in this life then she won't be so bad. I only like people that shut up and do what I say. I don't need any other kind of friend.

Friends. Psh.
>>
>>26294320
Shockingly, I no longer desire to be around you.
>>
>>26294404
also

>And that's bullshit and from TV and movies and not how real relationships work at all.

what the hell? there is TREMENDOUS pressure for men to pursue. men who are not passive just don't often find anyone, even if they're very attractive.

and keep in mind that women's definition of "assertiveness" is much different from men's. women more just have to put themselves out there, make themselves presentable and receptive to advances, and the interest on men's part will typically be transparent. not so with men.
>>
>>26294428
I have autism and it doesn't seem complicated at all to me. You know a person, someone asks the other one on a date, you go out, you ask a lot of questions about each other and talk about things, then you decide if it's gonna work out at some point and go from there. It's really not that difficult. It's the same basic premise of a friendship except you don't ask someone on a date, you ask them to hang out with you.
>>
>>26294443
Still will never get a date though. Fuck my life I guess.
>>
>>26294466
>men who are not passive

men who are passive*
>>
>>26294483
How many times have you been rejected?
>>
>>26294350
>I'd rather move from friendship to relationship

This hardly ever happens. In real life, when people say that they were friends before they started dating what they actually mean is that they were friendly acquaintances -- people who knew each other via friends or work or whatever and who would talk a little in group settings or when they happened to bump into each other. Only rarely were they actual platonic friends who used to hang out together all of the time. This is an important distinction.
>>
>>26292789
Men are capable of love.

It's a crippling emotion.
>>
Women do literally the exact same thing you mouthbreathing cunt. Sterilize yourself.
>>
>>26294503
0. Never asked. Like I said, only found two people attractive, and I'd rather think of why it wouldn't work out so I can kill my own feelings than actually ask someone out.
>>
>>26294466
I moreso meant the part about how men are meant to "pursue" and "win women over" is bullshit. That is stupid. You don't "win" someone over, if they don't like you, you just move on.

But yeah being assertive is pretty standard in dating. For men and women, but I will agree there is a lot more pressure for men to be assertive in dating. Basically if you stand idly by never asking anyone out and wonder why you're single, well, you're probably retarded.
>>
>>26294510

Women can love too, they can just turn it off at the flip of a switch.

If a girl tells you one day she loves you it's probably even true, but what she said and felt one day can be the complete opposite the next day.

It's better to say that men are capable of lasting love, whereas love is a momentary thing for girls(just as most other emotions)
>>
>>26294528
That is your issue. Once you've been rejected you realize it isn't really that bad because you've moved on from it and it makes it a lot easier to ask more people out. When you've been rejected a million times, that is when you start to lose hope in yourself.

You just need to get it over with and ask someone out, whether you get rejected or not, and go from there. Good luck and I hope you don't end up on the "get rejected a million times" path.
>>
>>26294505
Doesn't change the fact that I'd rather know their personality, and how they are to hang out with first, instead of only hanging out in a romantic context.
>>
>>26294527
I covered that in my OP:
>>26292789
>Women I've known have done it too, but it seems like it is a less lot common or the guy they pine after just straight up tells them that they're a crazy bitch and to fuck off.
>>
>>26294563
I'm not asking someone out if I can't see myself having a relationship with them, because "what if I succeed". Asking someone out with the express intention of failing won't make for any kind of learning experience.
>>
>>26294569
You learn that on a date though. What are you worried about if you find out their personality isn't compatible with yours? You don't go on another date with them? Big whoop, that's kind of the whole point of going on a date in the first place, to find out if you like them or not
>>
>>26293859
>an emotion that I experience is dependent on another person feeling the exact same way
Tell me again how divorces surpise anyone again?
>>
>>26294603

So you don't learn about their personality outside a date? Does that mean someone will be radically different once you go on a date with them? That's fucking stupid.

'Romantic environment' my ass.
>>
>>26294603
No I'm saying I don't want to hang out with them only in the context of "hearts in our eyes". I want to fucking play video games and discuss interesting topics without being in a relationship before I ever even consider asking them out.
>>
>>26294598
Going out with people you only see yourself having a relationship with doesn't work, though. You won't get to know people in a romantic/dating context unless you try going on a date with them and seeing if you are compatible with them. I've been on dates with men that I thought I would never have feelings for, but people are surprising and it taught me a lot about what I want in a partner and relationship. It doesn't hurt to give people a chance.

I'm really surprised to be hearing this from /r9k/ though, when so many men here talk about how women won't give them a chance and they get rejected all the time.
>>
>>26294621
Radfem is full of shit.
>>
>>26294550
You're right. That's a better way to put it.

I'm sure some people would try to argue that shows women are more emotionally mature than men.
But they forget that all children have fickle, instantly changing emotions just like that.

Maybe women are just as capable of emotional maturity, it's just there's much less incentive for them to develop it.
>>
>>26294569
>Doesn't change the fact that I'd rather know their personality

That's the point though. Even if you were lucky enough and managed to date a girl that you've been friends with for a long time, you could be shocked to find that she is a very different person as a partner than she is as a friend.

That's what dating and relationships are all about. You get together, find that you seem to to get along qhite well and like the same things etc. Then you become a couple and see if it'll work out. It takes a while to truly see how the other person is like. If your rose-tinted glasses wear off and your partner feels comfortable enough to be really herself around you, and you still like that person (and vice versa), then it is a match.
>>
>>26294537
>Basically if you stand idly by never asking anyone out and wonder why you're single, well, you're probably retarded

well, women can get away with this just by showing signs of interest. you hardly ever have to ask anyone out unless you're tired of waiting. and women are STILL attractive even when not confident.

and men DO pursue women, they're expected to. is all the work men put into this just invisible to you? it's more about personality for men (unless they are very attractive), so they have to flaunt their confidence, humor, etc. they have to know just how to approach women such that it doesn't turn them off. it all hinges on the woman's reaction.
>>
>>26294550
how can anyone even be like that? if thats true than why even fucking bother with anything? god damn
>>
>>26294632
You're not getting it. Asking someone on a date is basically like saying "Hi, I find you attractive and was wondering if maybe we are compatible in a romantic sense, do you want to go on a date to figure that out with me?".

Before asking someone on a date, the only way of figuring that out is if you tell them you like them or something, I don't know. But that's not really what adults do in dating, that pretty much stops once you get out of high school.
>>
women live in nice comfy fresh water jungle
men live in heat scorching desert
>>
>>26294635
You do realize you can ask someone on a date to hang out and watch video games with you, right? I've been on lots of dates like that before because I, too, also enjoy doing those things. It's actually a really good way to find out if someone is compatible with you too, because then you know they are done to hang out and do things you also enjoy doing
>>
>>26293962
>not how real relationships work at all
Ok, tell me in what other manner do two humans decide to mate other than being asked a few times? You're saying all women never change their minds?
>>
>>26294644
First of all not everyone on r9k is the same.

Second of all, I want to be attracted to them at the very least, and like I said my standards are way too high. I have no clue what you mean by compatibility in a romantic context because I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A DATE.
>>
>>26294669

>how can anyone even be like that?

Dunno why it is that way, apparently it was an evolutionary advantage for the human species to be that way
>>
>>26294715
that is the most depressing thing ive ever seen anyone say
no joke it pretty much just makes me want to curl up and not move
>>
>>26294707
>I want to be attracted to them at the very least
No one said you couldn't be, but you can't figure out if you are mentally attracted to someone in a romantic sense unless you go on a date with them, because you will only get the "friend" part of them that they put off to people unless they've been asked on a date.

Basically what this person said: >>26294660

Sorry for being shit at explaining this. I'm autistic and I'm trying to explain it in the way that makes the most sense to me in the way other people explained it to me because I used to be completely and absolutely retarded when it came to dating.
>>
>>26294715

What is the evolutionary advantage of being a beta? It's pretty clear, as shown by r9k that they're less successful when it comes to any aspect of life so why do they even exist?
>>
>>26294759

Ask an evolutionary biologist
>>
>even if she pretty clearly rejects him?

You have to understand that a lot of the time when a woman "pretty clearly" rejects a guy, she is actually being obtuse, especially for inexperienced guys (who are the ones most likely to not understand the social game).
>>
>>26294660
Okay. Still never even made it to the level of hanging out with a girl. I mean yeah theres a chance I'd be wrong, and I'm fine with that, I think I get it, but I'm not asking random girls out to find out if they'd be a match, I'm going to ask out people I can hang out with. I can get my failures and experience from that except for the fact that I'm never going to be friends with enough girls who share my hobbies to get that kind of experience.
>>
>>26294685
Still rather get to know them first.
>>
>>26294759
Not everything has evolutionary advantages. Betas will have their genes weeded out
>>
>>26292801
This is true.
I'm trying my best to learn.
>>
>>26294768
I've heard one answer on here and it wasn't too ridiculous. Apparently, betas exist because a group of Alphas would just kill each other so the last survivor could be king.

I'm just confused as to why loners like me exist when society is all about working together.
>>
>>26294771
That just simply isn't how it works and how people end up in the friendzone. You don't meet a girl and be like "I just want to be friends" and then hang out with her to see if you like her. If your end goal is to possibly date her, then just skip the bullshit and ask her on a date to see if that's where it could possibly end up. You can just as easily find out if someone is compatible with "hanging out" with you by just going on a date with them and asking them to "hang out" with you doing things you enjoy and see if they like doing those things too. And then while doing those things, asking them what other kinds of things they are into as well and so on.
>>
I don't know if its just me but I've never seen women put themselves on the line when it comes to rejection. No matter what it seems like they always just stand around touching their hair and staring at a guy until he makes the move.
>>
>>26294784
You can do that while hanging out with them and playing video games.

Okay, think of it this way. How did you meet your friends and become friends with them? Like how did that whole process go down?
>>
>>26294808
Yeah well, not only won't I ever make a move but I'm leaving the building. Then I block the door and set fire to the place.
>>
>>26294737
My problem is I don't meet enough people I'm physically attracted to. I can't even get to mental attraction. I don't even enough of a social circle to have female friends or acquaintances.

You aren't explaining anything poorly, but theres to many nuances in this topic and problems with me. I'll never understand this topic. Thats one reason why I'm forever alone.
>>
>>26292789
>#WasteHisTime2016

Sage you fucking idiots.
>>
>>26294808
I can tell you it is more rare for women to do so, and the standard is still for men to ask the woman out. But I personally ask men out if I feel like they'd be someone I'm into and I know a decent amount of women who do as well. It is definitely, but still slowly, changing.

And I agree it is insane that more women don't do it. I can tell you I've been rejected many a time and it was shit, but oh well you just deal with it and move on.
>>
>>26294839
Why not try online dating then?

Don't worry Anon I used to think the same thing, you will get it eventually. It's like computer programming. Once you understand the basic protocol then everything becomes a lot easier and you can dive in and really make shit happen.
>>
>>26294052
>No, nobody is the "main character" in their own story, with the possible exception of celebrities and war heroes. This notion goes hand in hand with the idea that other people are disposable NPCs that can be abused without consequence, and - shockingly - when you abuse people they often do not want to be in your presence.
Congratulations you just described a sociopath and women love them
>>
>>26294222
>I get that, I've been in an abusive relationship before and I know

YOU DUMB RETARD

THIS IS THE EXACT FEMALE EQUIVALENT OF WHAT YOURE COMPLAINING ABOUT IN MALES

YOURE SUCH A DUMB BITCH
>>
>>26294791
As a tribal species, 'betas' are essential for doing the bulk of the work needed to feed, house and clothe their society.
>>
>>26294902
I said that in the rest of my post though, if you read it
>>
>>26294825
My best friend I met on a bus on a safety patrol trip in 5th grade because I noticed he was playing pokemon diamond and I asked to play my diamond beside him. My other best friend I met through talking about video games until someone responded, to the best of my memory. One friend I met through my best friend in 9th grade. My other friends I made on a sports team by asking about video games again.

So basically I'd butt into people's business and talk exclusivly about video games. It still would take awhile before I ever hung out at their houses. After this semester at some point I'll be switching colleges to the one my best friend is going to. I'll then have the benefot of his social circle. Cause I haven't made a friend since 10th grade.
>>
>>26294941
How can you have two best friends? If a friend of mine told me I was one of two best friends, I would drop his stupid ass so fast. It's not even logical.
>>
>>26294926
I meant "beta" in the robot sense
>>
>>26294883
Because I'm not attractive enough of a person. My two hobbies are video games and anime. I'm chubby. I don't do fashion. None of that is good for an online dating profile. I made a tindr but immediately deleted it when I realized that I haven't changed my facebook profile picture since I made it, and I realized how shit it looks.
>>
>>26294939
Then stop acting so fucking oblivious as to why it happens
>>
>>26293150
You're an absolute mongoloid. Off yourself, you sub-110 IQ eggplant.
>>
>>26294896
> Congratulations you just described a sociopath and women love them

In my pretty limited experience with sociopaths, they're not normally the womanizing type. In contrast to the charming types you see on TV, the majority are low-functioning morons incapable of grasping even the most basic of social mores.
>>
>>26294964
Its like a tier thing. But I really only have one at this point. The other was always conservative, hung out with other friends he made, was never as into video games or anime. He eventually joined the military.
We were like the three musketeers though back in middle school.
>>
>>26294981
>sub 110 IQ

That's pretty exact. Did you get 111 in a free online IQ test or some shit?
>>
To everyone in this thread: love isn't real. It's just a chemical reaction in your brain to convince you to have children. The end. You guys are basically succumbing to your feelings like tumblr
>>
>>26295018
No, but I've been officially tested twice with an average of 131

I think 110 is a good threshold.
>>
>>26295041
Well, 131 can't be all that good if you ended up here. I'll give you time to think of a response.
>>
>>26295030
>it's just a chemical reaction
how does that undermine it
>>
>>26295030
>your feelings are not real
>succumbing to your feelings like tumblr
???
>>
>>26295030
>It's just a chemical reaction in your brain to convince you to have children

So how does the fact that it's a chemical reaction make it not worth pursuing? Retarded logic.
>>
>>26295051
Of course. Women aren't attracted to intelligence. They're naturally brainlets, after all.

At least my height made me lose my virginity.
>>
>>26295085
I agree that women are stupid. I also think your normie ass should get out.
>>
>>26295030
everything that exists is just patterns of atomic structure and chemical reaction emerging from basic fundamental rules we dont understand

does that mean nothing has value?
>>
>>26294807
I don't have an endgoal when I talk to people. I've never met a person I was so attracted to that I instantly decided I wanted to date her. And since I wouldn't ask a girl out without getting some kind of emotional compatability vibe from her through getting to know her, I have to be friends first.
>>
>>26294966
Oh. Then yes, absolutely. Removal like that is par for the course.
>>
>>26295030
How does it being a chemical reaction make it not real? Your desire to eat to sustain your life is merely another chemical reaction. It's still real. You seeing and understanding that there is a computer in front of you is another chemical reaction. But that's still real. The computer is real and you are real.
>>
>>26294018
Catharsis. Look it up
>>
>>26294759
The evolutionary advantage of being beta is cooperation and less aggression == less pointless deaths over stupid posturing bullshit and more civilization, culture, and innovation
Before the modern era beta men also had no fucking problem keeping their women in line ( you didn't really think beta men can't handle women, did you? They can, just not in ways that are legal currently )because there was no feminist government that would penalize them for maintaining a family unit order.
Whore tries to cheat on you with chad? Beat her ass and lock her in the house.
That option isn't available to men nowadays, so women are free to do whatever the fuck they want because "human rights". Hence all the adultery and divorce.
Not saying it';s a good or bad thing. It is what it is.
>>
File: 1447951556521.jpg (64 KB, 960x689) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1447951556521.jpg
64 KB, 960x689
>>26292789
>Taking women's opinions seriously
>>
File: 1454624753654.png (317 KB, 796x712) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1454624753654.png
317 KB, 796x712
>>26293150
holy fuck please off yourself
>>
>>26293013
>nothing in this world loves harder than a human male

Tell that to my beagles
>>
>>26292879
infatuation isnt true love
>>
File: 1442482666576.jpg (7 KB, 184x184) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1442482666576.jpg
7 KB, 184x184
>>26292988
>Robots think wanting to dick a pretty girl is love
>wanting to dick a pretty girl is love

the really sad part is that women can't distinguish love and sex from eachother, they think sex and love are one in the same. That's why when they reject "nice" guys (guys they don't think are attractive) and the guy gets even a little upset over it because he's been developing feelings over a period of time, the woman always says something like "you only wanted me for sex!"
>>
>>26294671
>"Hi, I find you attractive and was wondering if maybe we are compatible in a romantic sense, do you want to go on a date to figure that out with me?".

So like cold approaching, which, majority of men , doesn't work? And women wonder why "ohh he juz lyke me 4 mah lookz"
>>
>>26294550
If they can turn it off at the flip of a switch, are they really feeling love then?

That doesn't sound like love, that sounds like temporary attraction, and usually for women that's derived by how much they think the guy can offer them.
>>
I personally do it because I've already seen the whole relationship through in my head. I know it -can- work, and I know it would be good for the two of us. Or at least that's what it seems like in my head. I'd be less inclined to weigh my fantasies so heavily if there weren't so many moments where they come true. I mean what else am I supposed to think after we end up living a day dream I had while watching Dare Devil?
Thread replies: 174
Thread images: 14
Thread DB ID: 487637



[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at [email protected] with the post's information.