/First Date Ever/ General

To be fair i did nazi this coming when I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. I have the weirdest boner right now. /thread.

>>26257186
>What do I wear
Dress casual. Do not over do this or you'll look autistic as hell right off the bat.

>Do I pay for the whole thing despite her already saying she wants to pay for half
This is a shit test. If you don't insist, you'll be a cheap bastard. If you insist and she stands her ground, you're alright. If she caves and allows you to pay, that's fine too. (I just had this happen to me and the girl said she'd pay half. She now feels "used." Don't ask. Women, man.)

>Do I try to make physical contact with her?
You'll want to touch the small of her back if you're leading her through doors. Nothing forceful, but very delicately. If you can, try to position your feet so they brush hers. Don't think too much about the feet thing though, she might not want to scuff your shoes. Also, if you want her to look at something and it's not awkward to touch her hand to get her attention, do that as well. DO NOT. I REPEAT. DO NOT try and force physical contact. It feels and looks awkward and will have immense negative blowback.

>What are some of the signs that she's interested?
Prolonged eye contact.
Primping herself (i.e. Fixing herself unconsciously)
Twirling her hair.
Having her feet toward you.
Having her shoulders toward you.
Having an open posture.
Laughing at stupid shit you say that isn't even remotely funny.
Making additions to the conversation.
Jokes around with you.
Playfully makes fun of you.
Can take a joke thrown at her.

Good luck, man.

>>26257186
>What do I wear if we're going out to a run-of-the-mill sitdown restaurant?
A fedora. Nothing else.
>Do I pay for the whole thing despite her already saying she wants to pay for half?
Say you forgot your wallet after you order $80 worth of food
>Do I try to make physical contact with her?
No. Stay at least 5 feet away at all times.
>What are some of the signs that she's interested?
As a general rule of thumb, unless a girl is willing to do anal, I don't go on second dates.

Trust me anon, I was once on a date.

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>>26257244
>>>/plebbit/

originalitities are the key to happines, fampai tbrqh

>>26257374
This is good advice, try to not be forceful at all with physical contact, and don't caress her back as she walks through doors, just lead her in with your hand/forearm

>>26257467
>just lead her in with your hand/forearm

hhonestly that sounds worse.

>What are some of the signs that she's interested?

Lots of these IOIs seem like bullshit. I often get some (twirling hair, laughing at shit that isnt funny, can take jokes) but not the important ones like prolonged eye contact.

>>26257467
I should've clarified. Touching the small of her back wasn't meant to imply caressing her back. I figured the door wouldn't be large enough to guide her with your hand / forearm. But, whatever works, OP. Get strategic.

Also, if you're going to make any physical contact, make it deliberately and don't second guess yourself about it. It comes off as beta.

>>26257637
They seem like bullshit since they're relatively unconscious. The woman usually isn't aware she's doing them when it happens. That's why you have to "escalate" the situation from there with physical contact. I don't know anything about pickup, I just know what works based on experience.

Also, what's an IOI?

>>26257701
indicator of interest

>>26257374
This is actually 10/10 advice. We've been texting for a long time and she's initiated it as much as I have, if not more. She's pretty cool from what I know, should I go prepared with questions if the conversation lags?

Also, she's into fitness quite a bit and I am not. I'm not fat, but I'm kinda chubby. We met on tinder, will she disappointed?

She's no model herself, but she's cute

>>26257186
ask her once if she really wants to pay and if she insists then let her pay half, otherwise you might come off too eager or white-knighty
and dont be too eager or nervous or youll ruin it
just relax

>>26257701
How do you escalate verbally?

Not in school right now, and Im the wierd old guy at work but I get some interest from 19-22 year old cuties. Some from my boss too, but i think she is just nuts. I'm not experienced at all so physical escalations outside of a "date" seem out of the question.

>>26257910
She won't be disappointed if you show an active level of interest in fitness. If you have no intention of getting fit, she could be. Honestly, just tell her: "Don't judge me on this, but I'm pretty clueless as to where to start! I know it starts in the kitchen, but..." then follow up with questions. Ask questions that are detailed. Get her talking and comfortable. Also, interject your personal experiences. It establishes a relation between both of you.

t. Chad

>>26258043
Banter. If they're younger, you need to be witty and capable of firing non-autistic remarks that put them on their toes. It can't be degrading, unless it's absolutely silly, but keep it light and fun. Also, poke fun at yourself (but nothing too deprecating), it demonstrates confidence.

Moreover, erase the idea of a date never happening. You need to fill your mind with the idea that you're the prize and it might just happen like it did for OP.

>>26258058
But is that appropriate on the first date?

>>26257186
One date =/= you're her boyfriend.

>>26257401
why did i kek so hard

>>26258270
You're right, I never did say I was her boyfriend, so your comment is irrelevant.

>>26258058
I'm unsure if I should be early to the restaurant, or late, or if I should wait outside, or if I should get a table? She's meeting me there because she works beforehand. Any advice there?

>>26258313
>I have no idea how to...be a boyfriend
>I never did say I was her boyfriend

Cyborg here, I have been out with a few girls but not for a fair few years.

>What do I wear if we're going out to a run-of-the-mill sitdown restaurant?

I'd wear jeans, a jumper and either smart-ish trainers or semi-smart shoes e.g. suede grey brogues with no pattern or anything.

Perhaps a casual shirt could work as well.
>Do I pay for the whole thing despite her already saying she wants to pay for half?

Offer to pay for the whole thing but if she says agin she will pay half, let her.
>Do I try to make physical contact with her?

I wouldn't in a restaurant. Maybe if you go for drinks or something afterwards you could stand close to her or something but no awkward or weird shit.

>What are some of the signs that she's interested?

Laughing, responding to your questions with questions. You should be able to tell by the flow of conversation. She may touch her hair or shit like.

>>26258097
>witty and capable of firing non-autistic remarks

I do this, but need better ideas.

Can I get a general outline of subject areas I should consider discussing and remarking on.

>>26257186
>What do I wear
Dress nice but casual. Don't wear a suit and tie or whatever shit. Just put on clothes you think look good on you.

>Do I pay for the whole thing
No. Just fucking split the bill.

>Do I try to make physical contact with her?
You don't necessarily have to, on the first date. It's better to wait than to do it in an awkward, inappropriate way. Pay attention to when it would feel natural and reasonable to make physical contact. I didn't touch or kiss my current girlfriend until our second date.

>What are some of the signs that she's interested?
If you make good conversation; if she asks you about yourself; if she laughs at your jokes. Most importantly, if she's up for a second date.

Honestly if you're good looking enough you can't possibly fuck it up unless you go full autism "lets talk about geo politics and race and IQ studies"

sadly for you average looking bros you're going to have to pass about 20 shit tests to even get a second date. Btw do not lean in for a kiss at the end.

>>26258313
Get to the restaurant on time. Early is better than late. Call ahead and reserve a table if they do that.

>>26258337
Saying I have no idea how to be a boyfriend does not imply, at all, that I am her boyfriend. It's a simple statement with no necessarily following conclusions.

>>26258371
Thanks for the advice. I've got an outfit picked out I think, and the only shoes I have are kinda old and a bit dirty from the salt from the winter snow, is this okay? We're just going for lunch since she has a volunteer commitment after as well, she's a very busy girl. Our text conversations have been a lot of back and forth questions, I think she is legitimately interested in me, my biggest fear is still whether or not she finds me physically attractive (the 15 girls before her that turned me down all said I wasn't for them, so it's a sore spot for me).

>>26258432
Do I ask her for the second date (if things go well on both of our parts) as we're leaving ways, or wait and text/call her for one?

>>26258490
She's a lefty, and I'm not, in fact I'm a Trump fan despite being Canadian. I never reveal this though. The 'tism is strong with me.

>>26258507
It's a casual place on our University campus, it will not be full, and if it is, there's a couple of other places I know that have decent vegan menus (she's vegan)

>>26258395
Her school/career/work; your school career/work
Hobbies and interests
Taste in art (music, film, TV)
Things each of you do in your spare time
Interesting stories from your life

>>26257186
If she's into you she'll watch your face in kind of a triangle (from one eye to your mouth back up to the other eye), play with her hair bite her lip etc.


Don't show up right on time, be 7 min late, dont ask why but showing up on time is for squares

>>26257244
Seems legit

oc

>>26258538
I was expecting something a lil more original and pick up artisty.

>>26258528
You can casually indicate that you'd like to see her again, and then specifically ask for a second date later.

>>26258255
Of course this is appropriate for a first date. If you don't feel comfortable bringing it up, lead into it by asking about her specific interests first.

>>26258313
If you're of age, just grab a drink and chill inside. If not, grab a table, have a book or something on hand and read. In either case, PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY so you're not stressing time.

>>26258565
PUA is bullshit that is meant to get you laid, not establish an honest and caring relationship. The stuff I mentioned is basic stuff applicable to most people's lives, and it can lead into more specific / interesting conversation.

>>26258565
The fuck do you expect? First dates are half interview half flirting anyway. You're there to see if you want a second date. Remember she needs to impress you to, and if she's not playing she doesn't get your attention

>>26258528

I'd definitely give them a quick wash. The fact that she volunteers makes me think she isn't a stuck up bitch that would actually judge someone on their footwear. Just wear whatever you feel comfortable in, within reason.

If you get on well through text messages it will probably go well on the date.

As for physical attractiveness I can't really suggest anything other than to have a shower, shave or trim your beard if you have one so that it doesn't look a mess. I'd also wear a nice aftershave/ cologne.

Shoot me any more questions you have, if not I hope it goes well for you man, glad that you have the balls to go and meet people.

>>26258630
I do have more questions:

What do I do if I sperg out?

What do I do if it goes terribly?

Can I eat meat in front of her?

>>26258737

What do I do if I sperg out?

Take your time to think about how you will reply to her and you should be fine. Just try not to say any weird shit or make weird noises. If you've spoken to 15 other girls I doubt you're a sperglord anyway.

What do I do if it goes terribly?

I doubt it will, if she volunteers to help people I bet she's good in social situations so she could carry the conversation if you do fuck up somehow.

Can I eat meat in front of her?

Yeah of course. If she's vegan then don't change your habits to make her happy, at least not on a first date.

not the other anon but how do I into physical escalation?

>>26258737
Stop caring about that stupid shit overthinking will get you nowhere.

You got the date, you're good she obviously wants to see you more so she's obviously fine with your personality


You know what you do when you completely fall flat? Dead zone in convo? Need to think of something to say? Look into her eyes and smile. Or if worst comes to worst just say "I got nothing." Like its no big deal, because it isn't
And you eat what you damn well please in front of her you're a fucking man.

>>26258833
Touch her, if she doesn't send off vibes like you're fucking up touch her more (it's called escalation for a reason)

>>26257374
>Laughing at stupid shit you say that isn't even remotely funny.
I'd say this is a top indicator OP, but don't rely on it 100%

>>26258737
drink a little alcohol before you go
not enough to be noticeably drunk(or impair your driving if youll drive there) but even the littlest amount of alcohol can make talking and not splerging so much easier

>>26258604
Yeah. Honestly, there's too many women out there with dull personalities or they don't have much going on behind the "nice" mask.

>>26258903
I can bring my flask!

>>26258838
This is actually solid advice. I was so nervous, but I just remembered that she has to impress me too.

>>26258903
Can vouch for this. One or two beers.

don't smile.

>>26257186
here is my advice friendly anon
think about every possible thing she could say to you
be prepared, you need to be prepared

you need to have a witty or not-awkward response to everything
you need to be on YOUR GAME
listen to some hype music or some shit beforehand, idk

JUST DON'T FUCK IT UP
Good luck, I believe in you

>>26258925
Just pop your earbuds in before you get out of your car listen to your favorite pump up/ swagger song and walk in after its done


Dating is a game man its not serious until it is if you smell what I'm stepping in

Had a first date last weekend

we fucked like rabbits

we fucked 9 times

we cried like babies after I had to leave and say goodbye

we're in a relationship now, feels fukken gr8 m8.

>>26259049
I feel you senpai. I'm just gonna try and have as much fun as possible so I seem like a good guy.

>>26259093
Clearly not your first date ever. Ree. Etc.

>>26259226
No, I had a couple others in the past, had a one night stand with some ugly girl and made out with a few other uggos. But this one is pretty special.

>>26259226
Don't try to seem like a good guy, have fun because you want to have fun


Jesus man it's not about head games or putting on a mask, just have fun and if you're compatible you'll know

>>26259317
Alright, I'll do my best. Expect a thread tomorrow about how it goes. I think I might make it boys, for the first time in my life, I'm gonna make it.

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bzzzzt bzzt bzzzzzzt