>tfw your dreams will always be dreams
>tfw you will never do it
Memes aside, why do I get the feeling of worthlessness whenever I try to do something I should be good at (in this case it's drawing).
I wanna get good at animation and drawing in general but whenever I try I get mad and give up too fast.
Does anyone else get this feeling or am I just severely autistic?
Also post any art feels if you got any.
Get into 3d modeling :p I can't stand to draw for a long time but I could model forever :) when you are modeling you can fix any mistake, you barely need talent either :p just know how and time :)
Just keep practicing Anon
It takes a long time to get good at anything even if you have talent
Feeling worthless is probably just part of being creative
You're always going feel that your work isn't good enough no matter how good you get
I do the same thing.
Writing, playing guitar, rapping, singing, acting.
I think its a defense mechanism i developed because my dad always made me feel worthless and instilled a fear of failure. So no matter what i do i can never be good enough
This was my first digital piece I made few months ago.
I have not drawn a lot since then because of artist block and I'm trying to get back into it but it's proving to be harder than I thought it would.
I made this piece when I was really into character designing and this was inspired by another artist so if it looks objectively shit (anatomically incorrect, wrong proportion size, etc) that is probably why. I'm trying to push myself away from this artist as well.
hell yeah man i looove 3d modelling
pic related is my most recent masterpiece
Why do you think you have artistic block? You're out of ideas? It's one of my drawings. I know it's look childish and borderline autistic
I feel you OP.
>get mad at myself for doing absolutely nothing
>decide to pick up a new hobby
>imagine myself being really good at it, living happy life centered around it
>motivated to start
>all prepared, just need to start
>realize I'm fucking shit at everything I've ever done
>realize I don't have the wits to fulfill my dream
>get depressed, cry in bed for a few hours
>get mad at myself even more
Every. Fucking. Time.
Drawing, playing guitar, playing piano, modeling, even playing competitive fucking video game.
I hate myself so much for this.
Who simple dream here?
>just want to go to university
>work in a field that I enjoy
>work long to save up enough money to buy a small house in the Northern part of Ireland, or on a small Nordic isle
>live out my days being a sheep farmer
Fuck your artist block. You've got 10 minutes to draw this pic.
3 penguins and a camera. Stylise it however you want but it needs to be clearly what it is.
Literally anything that requires effort will be shitty at first. After a lot of hours of trying and repeat failures, it will be a little less shitty. Continue this until you're decent enough at something so that you can earn a living/enjoy your hobby/etc.
>my dreams are really simple, and easily attainable
>just want to live alone in a happy little patch of forest with a nice stream to fish in, and good soil to plant a simple garden
>have a respectable cabin
The thing is i'm too much of a pussy to attain any of this. I would have to live really deep in the woods to avoid the fucking government messing with me even if I bought private land. I fucking hate how you're not allowed to be left alone even if you are self sufficient.
That doesn't looks too bad. I like the vibrant colours you used.
To answer your question, I'm not sure why I got artist block. I think it may be because at the time I found out how bad the artist I got inspiration from really was and I gave up. But I think I may have ran out of ideas, although I usually reference a lot so I don't know hoe I could've even ran out of ideas.
>pic related is all the work I had done based around the artist's style that I liked but now despise with a passion.
Eh, I guess simple would be the wrong term.
I just meant, nothing big or grand. A small, simple life, like what we both want.
But I'm in the same boat as you, I'll probably never be able to obtain it.
How did I do, doc?
Nice. It's got all the right shapes and you couldn't mistake it for anything else. Good job.
You gotta have a little pride in doing it quickly.
Unless >>26255909 is right. You didn't trace, surely?
Try try again, keep doing it until you can't do it anymore. If you made that picture you posted I think it is fucking great. I want you to make another twice as good and post it here. Goals help make the tediousness of practice and repetition easier.
did you study it?
idk if you can get by on water recycling and solar energy
food is not a problem since your expenses are small anyways
in alaska they buy food for 2 months ( i think i saw a movie on it)
I would probably be on the power grid. Where i'm looking to buy land there is a power line running on the little rode. One of the benefits of oil drilling is they build infrastructure in remote places. And I could always drill a well.
I used the image as a reference.
I tried to make it as accurately as possible by looking at the image to try and get as much as I can right.
If that's not what I should be doing I'll do it again.
>wanted to be an animator majority of childhood and early adolescence
>no friends so spend everyday just watching cartoons, youtube and newgrounds animations
>college begins ("highschool" for ya'll amerifags i guess)
>closest thing to animation
>fucking despise both classes
>just mind numbing coursework for 2 years
>realize college choice was a terrible decision
>start having more prominent mental issues
>diagnosed with depression and A.D.D
>drop out of both classes
>drop out all together
>do more research on reality of animation-based careers
>not all i cracked it up to be in my head
>lose animator dream entirely
>just want to get an engineering job or something
>tfw you always believed this would never happen to you
I know these feels anon, same shit happened to me though I had to repeat an entire year, all "friends" went to university and now im sitting at the bottom with no dreams, aspirations or talents.
Hope it gets better for you famillia
Right now I'm doing a 2 year course in games design (It was the closest thing to teaching me any sort of animation in my college). I don't know if any nearby university teaches animation entirely but that's what I hope for (for my sake anyway).
I know as much as the average animation enthusiast but I'm hoping to be ready for it when it come to animating (I mean being able to draw properly on tablet and learn how to animate).
I think I know how you feel, but animating is too much to lose. If I lost my desire to draw and animate in life then I think suicide would be to only destination for me.
I hope it will end the way I need it to. But reading your post has made me legitimately scared of what might be if I don't do something.
Fuck, I feel you there, In the final year literally all my friends left and I was completely alone. At that moment I realized I didn't even like the classes I was taking or even want a career in them. So that became a driving force for leaving.
Hope it gets better for you too
>tfw legitmately have no talent in the thing I love and am most interested in (music)
>not in that artist kind of self deprecating way but legitimately just dumb
>have knowledge on how to build a song and such but always feel like my lyrics are too cringe and i'm not physically dextrous enough to do anything
Your not really a failed artist. Your just a really shitty one that cant get a job. But does that really matter? Your doing art because you like it . And you know that art is mainly about money and connections now? What I'm saying is that people just pay their way into the art industry or meet someone who can get them in. That's why we see so many shitty artists nowadays. Also a lot of artists that become successful were just in the right place in the right time. Its ok to be shitty, but I would give up any hope of becoming a paid artist in less you were some gifted person who could started doing art in their childhood. Sure you could work really hard and maybe, possibly you could git gud. But lets face it, that will not happen. Just start focusing on something else not as complicated...and just do art as a hobby.
>wrote a short story about social anxiety and alienation
>it's getting published this month in a small online lit jourmal
>tfw it's mediocre as shit and far from my best work; doesn't accurately represent my skill at all
>tfw dreading the day it comes out
Even when I succeed I fail.
>my lost animator soul will be with you all the way.
That hit me harder than it should've.
I'll make you proud one day.
Self-inhibiting my progress because of anxious fears of not creating "perfect" strokes (ie. if it doesn't match to what my head wants). Do tons of free art because no self-confidence. Get commissions but spend so much time on them it works out to <$1/hr and get so worried about the end product I stop drawing completely. And this shit is supposed to be my hobby.
Is this true even for graphic design? I plan on going to a CC for two years first. I heard there's also the freelance option or web/ ui design. This seems like the only thing I actually enjoying doing.
>finish a really great game or film
>reminds me of why I like these things so much
>makes me feel like a failure for never pursuing these things
>wanted to be a film maker since 6 years old
>never did shit about it
> wanted to make music since highschool
>form a band with some friends
>one friend wants to play doom metal
>other friend wants to play indie folk with nmh as his main inspiration
>other friend doesn't care what we play
>secretly developing an image of what I want my music to be
>doesn't affect our friendship, but never get shit done
>we all graduate
ff 1/2 years to now
>been trying to contact them to jam and stuff
>decide to write an entire album solo, then call them all up to record
>all I have is my guitar, fuzzbox, banjo, musical saw, and no recording equipment
>all my songs are just guitar+vocals
>get discouraged because I feel like some kind of singer songwriter
I can write decent lyrics and stuff but the image in my head of what I want is way too advanced for the amount of gear I have. I think my friends would be down to be in a band together, but I want full creative control of it, and I'm not sure they'd like that. I changed the name, developed the sound, and everything.
I just have this image in my head that I just want to get out, but can't. Music is my only passion, if I fail I'll probably end up killing myself or something
The best way to get into art is to get into a practical career which you like where you can do art in your free time. Never go to art college or whatever the fuck, art is too subjective, to base your entire life around it is a gamble.
It really depends...I would always suggest going to college even if there isn't a guarantee of getting a job...at least you have something to do and your learning something you like. But if you looking for a job you might not find one. Its just a simple fact that all non-STEM degrees don't have guaranteed jobs. There simply not needed and where they exist they are filled with people that only got the job because of a personal connection. Now does that mean you won't be able to find one? No it doesn't but if your a robot it will probable be extremely difficult. I would just give up if I was you and just take gen eds at CC get good grades and try to go to an ivy league school.
I wish I enjoyed doing visual or musical art.
Instead it seems the only thing creative I love actually doing is martial arts.
Which unlike visual arts takes fuck tons of money to get training in. I am already 25 and still to broke to do anything competitive and started way too late to make a career out of it (don't even have a first dan/black belt yet). Basically it is too late and I am too poor to be truly great at it.
At least drawing is cheap.
tried becoming professional calligrapher
got broke instead
pic related, its from 2 years ago
>play piano,not good at it yet but good enough to play some pieces I like
>have literally 0 creativity for music
>can make fantasy worlds in my mind all day long,imagine characters and scenes like a real movie/anime
>hate writing since forever, find drawing impossibly hard and boring
Anyone know this feel?
failed artist reporting in. Depression is killing my will to develop so I only end up drawing once per month.
I'm at a decent level, I just can't push myself over the last few hurdles. I'm so close guys, so close to the next big leap in skill, but I just can't, and I'm wasting my time, which makes me hate myself more, which wastes more time, and so on.
I just want to die.
i'm really bad at realism, but great at abstract art, always get compliments. my advice, anon, is to try something like that. it requires less actual drawing skill. all you needa do well is make it look interesting and boom, you're done.
most of all, though, you have to work on your own style. you're bound to be terrible at other people's styles, but your unique one, you will excel at.
This is absolutely terrible advice. You don't draw just to get compliments from normies who have no clue about art, you don't go down the speshul snowflake tumblr-tier abstract road of art without regards to colour theory and composition because you have no skill other than being aware if it's absolute trash or not.
You are the worst type of 'artists'. Before you try to calm my autism I'm not saying one should pursue realism only and that's the way forward, there's plenty of other movements to explore, but just drawing 'nice' shit blindly is completely retarded and won't get you anywhere and above all has no purpose than boosting your precious snowflake ego.
if you're still here, don't care about getting it the image to be accurate, just get it to be what you see. not what it is. the point is to be creative. make it look wacky and interesting. use your noodle, anon, know you can do it.
Film guy here.
Have all these great ideas in my head, like get super inspired when listening to certain music -- but don't have a working camera. Not to mention that editing's mode tedious than it's worth bothering with.
Fuck it all.
I'm trying to write an album but none of the songs I write seem good enough. They're all poppy-indie shit. When I was 17, I was writing this amazing music. It was like distorted, dark acoustic stuff, and it had these amazingly dissonant chord progressions but still sounded so wonderful and grim. I was going through a tough time then, my parents were very abusive. Right now I have this dream of making like 10-minute epics with lots of effects pedals, lots of intricate harmonies, lots of development. I'm trying to pull something together, but it's not coming. I've been up for days on amphetamines trying to work this shit out. My mental health is suffering because I'm trying to force my psychotic illness to come out so I can get something amazing out. I'm literally losing my fucking mind doing this shit and it's not coming. I'm hearing voices, both internal and external. I'm hallucinating.
>Not to mention that editing's mode tedious than it's worth bothering with.
>implying editing isn't one of the most fun aspects of film making
I don't think you even like to film. Only have dreams of greatness.
hey, it's what works for me, that's all i care about. i do art as a hobby, so all that matters to me is if i like it and i do. art should be solely for yourself and what you, personally, put into it. gonna be honest, i believe art is something you should teach yourself. i get the point of art school, but not the idea behind it.
why does it matter if the compliment is coming from some normie or mister art professor who has all his technique and text book terms under his belt? as corny as it sounds, my art is what comes from inside me. no one can teach me anything that'll make it any better in my eyes, only in theirs.
i'd much rather be drawing my weird sex shit with no regard for color or form than be making generic nude # 5034.
Because, fuckwit, art is about communicating your idea, notions and emotions to an audience, and you need skill to do so. What you do is not art, it's just doodling. Quit fooling other people down the same road if they are actually interested in art.
If they want to post on tumblr and dA about your 'style' of no substance then you're the person to go to, but don't sway people to your egotistical mentality.
Art takes patience, good artists don't develop the skills instantly. Animation especially, you should search for first animation vids, they're all cringey as fuck. Yet if you look at some of their later animations are significantly improved, this is years later not just a few months later.
>art is about communicating your idea
and how am i not able to do that just because i use my artistic license a bit?
why should anyone be afraid of experimenting with their art? isn't that the point? isn't that what people have been doing since art was a thing?
>you need skill to do so
I've been drawing for many years now. i've gotten all the skill that i need to make art that i'm satisfied with. sure, there's always room for improvement, but at the moment i'm content. i make art for myself. i don't care to build a career out of it. why should i need anything more than that, then?
besides, who're you to say it's not art just because i used a word you apparently don't like? you haven't even seen any of it (not gonna post, anyway).
>Quit fooling other people down the same road if they are actually interested in art.
no true scottsman, etc etc
>and how am i not able to do that just because i use my artistic license a bit?
Because you draw what you want to see, it's communicating to ones self, not to the rest of humanity. Art is a language that can be understood universally. Your doodles only mean something to you, and it only affects outsiders to the point of "ohh that's nice, here's an ego stroke for you".
>why should anyone be afraid of experimenting with their art?
Where the fuck have I said they shouldn't? Did you learn to argue on tumblr or something? Can you stay to the argument at hand?
>why should i need anything more than that, then?
No, not for your personal doodles. Again, read over my argument and quit being so butthurt, there are your doodles then there is actual art, I never dissed you outright over your work, only your mentality regarding it.
>no true scottsman, etc etc
You are quite literally retarded.
You need to get digital with that shit.
Learn the trends. Graphic designers suck off good calligraphers. Look up Jessica Hische anon. She's rad, she does handwritten typography. You look disciplined enough, but nobody wants some plain ink on paper. I'm bad with words (am also graphic designer) but shit man, you could be in a good place
>Because you draw what you want to see, it's communicating to ones self, not to the rest of humanity. Art is a language that can be understood universally. Your doodles only mean something to you, and it only affects outsiders to the point of "ohh that's nice, here's an ego stroke for you".
you say this like it really matters if they're just saying it to stroke my ego. i don't really expect anyone to understand all of the nuances and whatnot of the weird shit i draw. i draw it for myself so i can express my emotions. a compliment still makes me feel good even if it's surface level.
i don't see why you're getting so invested in one anon talking about their art. how did i offend you?
out of curiosity, what should i be doing differently to be making 'proper' art?
I'm invested in art, that's why I'm arguing. I don't care what you draw, how you draw it, how many pats on the back you get etc. I just don't want people have misinformed mindsets regarding art.
> i draw it for myself so i can express my emotions
finally, a point related to the argument. Your art is only art to yourself, it does not fall into the category of art just because you're expressing your feelings in an abstract way. As I've said, it's about communication. there are plenty of movements out there regarding abstract art if you want to get good at expressing yourself, I don't object to self expression, I'm objecting to your skill and notion of art.
so basically you're pissed because you have a strict mindset of art, just about the most open-ended thing that's ever existed.
if a painter is isolated on an island, is their art not art just because there's no one else to communicate with?
>misinformed mindsets regarding art
how is this even possible? art is what you make it. there's no such thing as right or wrong. it just is.
i understand where you're coming from, but you're just pissed because not everyone does something your way. just because someone does something differently doesn't mean they're doing it wrong. they're just doing it differently.
>Your art is only art to yourself, it does not fall into the category of art just because you're expressing your feelings in an abstract way
I really don't see the difference between pencil lines on a piece of paper meant to express one's emotions and pencil lines on a piece of paper meant to send a message. they're still pencil lines on a piece of paper, ergo a drawing. i don't even know why we're having this argument right now. i really don't understand why you're making this to be such a big deal.
Line weight does a LOT with minimal amounts of effort.
Source: one of my old drawings
I spent years of my life making pixel art, and it was pretty much my only hobby outside of video games for up until I was 17. Still do it to this day, but as time passed I realised it was a bad decision. I take a big ammount of time to do even a small pixel art, and a lot of people dislike it nowadays because of the indie games that use shitty sprites.
Eventually I've even grown tired of the overall aesthetic of pixel art, and, allthough some skills pass over to other art mediums (mainly shading and, to a degree, coloring), some things don't, and working with relatively more complex stuff like photoshop, gimp and real paint feels like beginning again, and I just feel desmotivated.
The second story is one I can relate to the most.
I can't even begin to remember how many fictional worlds I've lost memory of due to inactivity of thinking about it.
I just think of one fictional world, get inspiration from something and then think of something else different.
I want to be able to write ideas and concepts down but never knew how to.
I wish I had started sooner.
I've had an animation book for nearly 2 years now and I have not read through entirely yet.
I need to get good at this as soon as possible. My time is running out and I need to do something I like with my life and get good at it.
>tfw all my life I've had no personality, wasn't cool enough to play WoW, didn't get gud at fighting games, and put thousands of hours into Maplestory
>tfw all I've ever done is video games and believed that I could one day be in esports
4kin dota after two years of constant study and practice
I just want to die without my parents thinking that all that time and money spent on me was a waste.
If you want to be a good animator (or even mediocre), you can't half-ass it. Not only does it require significant drawing skills, but also a developed understanding of mass and movement. There are no holidays. If you're going to do this, start now.
>tfw you've talked to different qt girls that past two days and it's more apparent than ever that you will never get a gf
The conversations didn't go bad or awkward, they were just unremarkable. Nothing special despite me trying my hardest. I don't get many chances like this.
>do nothing but belittle, mock, and make fun of this one girl
>still end up liking her
Quit hitting my feels like that. It's not easy to pretend everything is fine when you had a fucked up life and are trying to fix yourself, so you project this notion of perfection on to your work as well.
I used to want to do animation when i was younger, just push it aside and do something easier to get into.
I still do it for fun sometimes in the middle of the night.
Posted this before but here's what i have done since 2016 started
Just do it in your spare time is what i reccomend.
The people that are doing animation and art for careers dont draw once a month, they draw 300 images a day. They have understanding of anatomy, lighting, perspective.
Its just too hard, pick up something less stressful.
Sounds like autism, yes.
>Failed artists ITT
Are you niggers retarded? You should never expect to be successful at art, very few can get a career out of it. Do something else with your time and keep art as a hobby/side job.
Thanks for this thread OP
I've spent almost 20 years not quite making animations. First on paper, then some tracing of background into cartoon style images then drawing sketches with a tablet.
Still haven't been able to put it all together as an animation though.
Kinda sucks to hear, but patience is key, OP. You've gotta find some way to set yourself down and stop trying to speed through your work (you'll notice that as you get better it'll be easier to put ideas down on the canvas faster, happens naturally). Even if it gets frustrating at times, you just have to be patient, not just with your work but yourself as well. I mean look at this:
It took a fuckin of patience just to draw out the pencils for that fucking piece, imagine the patience it took to ink and color it? You'll get better dude, it just takes time and effort (also sorry about the link, I tried posting the piece but the file's too big).
you will improve, but you will never, ever stop hating your work
This is exactly what you should be doing.
Take this pic of Igor Stravinsky (by Picasso) and turn it upside down. Then redraw it, line by line.
I only got serious around 14 (I had mostly been doodling up until that point), I'm 20 now and I think I've gotten pretty decent. That being said, I don't want to make it a career. It's something I would rather pursue on my own.
I think what matters the most is discipline. If I had drawn for an hour every day over those six years I could've gotten where I am now in less than half that.
you have no idea how much it kills me that I'll never be a successful comic/webcomic artist
If anyone here ever wants to be a moderately successful artist, I believe the key to making profit is to specialise into one or two specific things. Someone already mentioned furry art- a good start, but you could funnel even more into vore, diaper, hyper, etc. Or perhaps into aliens and extraterrestrial life, maybe spaceship designs. Specific animals like horses or dragons. The idea is to become recognisable and very good at one specific thing. Of course, learn the fundamentals but dont worry if you cannot draw other things like people or buildings, elephants or cars.
Specialise and you will start getting people looking for commissions specifically for your topic, and people will be likely to follow you if their interest overlaps with your content.
I recently was approached by a publisher looking for some dinosaur drawings for a kids book. I have very exclusively been working on paleoart for the past few months and i believe this to be a result of that. pic related is a recent quick drawing.
Of course, always keep learning, but if you want to make money you should focus on something niche.
IF IM DREAMING SO SMALL WHY CANT I ACHIEVE IT
>You should never expect to be successful at art
I don't think they are mainly talking about successful in the finatial sense.
More of the, never actaully became a expert/master of their chosen art form, or at least as good at it as they want to be.
I kind of know the feeling but my restrictions are money related rather then will. I actually enjoy the hard parts and putting in time. It is just that I started super late do to money reasons, and I can't progress in the ways I want, as fast as I want, because of money reasons.
I don't really know what the fuck is wrong with many of the people in this tread that claim their preferred art form is their passion, but they hate practicing and can go days, weeks, or even months without doing it because they don't feel like it.
I just don't understand that. If it is their passion then how could that be the case. Even my lack of money and bad health, and even me being a bit old for some things does not stop me from practicing my passion in one way or another. Now that I have already gotten a taste and found it, I will never let it go completely till the day I die.
For art feels everyone tells me how amazing my doodles are, but when I sit down and actually make a piece of art that's it's not a sketchy shit, I never end up happy
Don't really give much of a fuck about my drawing prowess, I'd happily trade it all to be better at maths
My family never supported my talent with classical guitar and know I'm some shitty guitar player with 29 yo who don't what to do with his on life. I can play the Capricho Arabe and other really cool pieces... but I lack the musical theory, sight reading and other things basic for someone who studied since childhood.
My family destroyed me... I don't know what to do with my life now and everything is their fault, I don't know if I can go to some college and when reach my 40's have the minimal to at least be some grumpy guitar teacher who never achieve his full potential due the lack of support on his first years.
I hate this mix feeling on making my throat heavy, I hope kill myself next year in my birthday to end my misery exactly when started.
One, you can learn musical theory any time, and most don't learn that as kids anyway.
Age is not a factor when it comes to getting better at guitar. You are not dead yet so their is still time to improve.
You may not be able to make a living at it in a timely fashion but few do make a living in music, or any art form. Why the fuck would you let something like that stop you if you like it.
As for your life it is to do with what you chose. I would say get a day job so you can pay for shit if you can, and spend your free time, like almost all of it, getting better or learning or doing something related to your interest.
That way your family becomes less of a issue since you are more self reliant, yet you can still do what you love.
That or try to make extra money street preforming on the side.
I've always wanted to art.
>nothing ever looks the way I want it to despite having a perfectly clear image in my head
>no medium seems to be even remotely intuitive for me
What's worse is actually having ADHD and depression
>can't be assed to do shit if it's not an immediate threat
>even shit like reading a one page document
>say one thing to normies, they're hyper-reactive over the most stupid bullshit
>worse than that, they're stressed out over stupid shit like not getting an errand done TODAY O M G
That's pretty good already. The legs are a bit fucked up but pretty good over all. Try again with a different pic. Keep doing it and eventually move on to real objects. Draw them the same way you drew this (line by line, light and shadow as abstract shapes ect...) and you should be alright in no time.
>Try again with a different pic
What picture should I use now?
>The legs are a bit fucked up but pretty good over all
Any way in which I can improve upon that? I've always found it difficult to draw legs, feet, arms, hands and fingers properly.
Anything by Picasso works, honestly.
You're not supposed to try and draw a foot/leg/arm but simly all the lines that make up that limb. That's why you turn the pic upside down; so that you stop symbol drawing (drawing what you see instead of what is really there). Do not try to draw a leg, but try to draw each line seperately.
I always wanted to be a photography major, so I enrolled in community college as it. Huge waste of fucking time, I'm glad I didn't go to a school in NYC for it, I only blew like $4,000 and had to graduate a year late. I switched majors to liberal arts and I'm glad I did.
In the end, with a photography major you can't get any job. My cousin dropped out of high school and still got a job in a photography studio for minimum wage.
>tfw when dont really know much about music and dont know how to compose a song
>tfw when i got inspired one day and got a great idea for a composition and sucesfully made a decent song
>tfw when i thought that i finally figured out on how to compose
>tfw when i forgot the process on how i composed the song and now i cant seem to figure out on how to make music anymore :(
i couldn't handle the anxiety, stress and failure, so i gave up on my main hobby that i had loved for about 10 years. when you don't even try in life you realize what the normie life is all about, and you begin to understand why they drink every weekend and spend the rest of the time wrapped up in work. they have nothing to live for except day to day pleasures, maintaining their mood is their only priority.
>tfw your work is just an attempt to capture beautiful, strange things in life but it could never hold up to the actual beauty and strangeness of being there and experiencing it in real life.
why even try.
>just want to make films
>literally no friends, no money and no time
>starting to fall into depression, not even motivated for vidya anymore
>constant thoughts of "you'll never be good enough", "even if you did have the tools you'd fuck it up anyway"
>never have any confidence in my ideas, just see myself copying other, greater filmmakers
Fuck. I just want to create an obscure indie film that's loved by the people who've seen it. Someone like Don Hertzfeldt or Shane Carruth; people who are able to fill halls of people despite not being mainstream.
I just want some recognition, anything.
I didn't take that picture.
Look up Brice Portolano for more stuff like that.
Here's another I did.
http://ayay.co.uk/arts/picasso/drawings_and_illustrations/olga-in-hat-with-plumage.jpg Source image
>have wanted to make video games ever since I was a little kid
>can't make art or music at all
>not a good enough programmer to make something really cool that doesn't require it
>have been trying for years but will never be anything more than shit tier
I feel completely worthless too, OP. The only thing I've ever cared about, and I'm still a failure. What does it all mean?
>tfw finally working on my projects
>tfw finally started my one big mega-project that I genuinely think is going to define my entire life
>tfw years of work to do before it's done
>tfw excited to do all of them
>tfw deranged obsession is infinitely better than feeling nothing but listless hedonism all the time
This has been a nice thread.
I like you guys.
Thanks for the help.
>declaring yourself a failed artist before your death
this pisses me off
You are supposed to be shit for years!!!
All the kids you knew growing up who could draw well had been at it much longer than you. They drew in their off time. Their lifetime number of drawings was far above yours.
What you are effectively saying is you want to be noticed for something you do. When you see that won't happen quickly you give up because it wasn't the skill you were dilligently after, but being noticed for it.
I'm you, anon. It's time to focus on building doing an activity not for the purpose of being noticed but because it's a strong emotional challenge to continue with it. You've found your resistance training.
Now lift it.
You'll get stronger.
It isn't impossible to reach your dreams. Check this out.
I have been drawing since I was 2, and started taking it somewhat seriously when I was in my teens. In my early 20's, I stopped because I thought being an artist was just entirely stupid and unrealistic. But I'm getting back on the horse. I could probably get paying gigs now if I knew how to market myself. Even if it's just a source of side income I have to keep trying. Good luck to you, anon.
I'm proud of you, anon. God damn. You kept at it. Regardless if you use your hard won skill for monetary gain you have still made an incredible life achievement through relentless self discipline. It sure did add up.
Lel, you faggots believed the "follow your dreams" meme. Choose an actual profession next life.