>have tons of shit that I want to get off my chest
>don't have anyone I'm willing to tell it to
>parents are only option but really don't feel like telling them
>keep it bottled up
>continuously feel like shit
>whenever I feel better I quickly just remember something that instantly ruins my mood
>just want to tell people what I'm feeling/my problems and get a meaningful response
>tfw I've been feeling this for basically 2 years now and there's no sign of change
>keep it bottled up
>people say I should tell them
>tell me they will genuinely listen
>I tell them my problem
>they literally start laughing
little do they know, I will get the last laugh
I have some good friends who I know won't give me a hard time about it but I still can never find the time and place and when it is the words always get caught between the bottom and middle of my throat
There's way too much shit to just type out right now. I'm not in the right frame of mind and I'm about to go to bed.
Now I feel even shitter because I know the person who actually wants to hear it (you) probably wont be there the time I actually post it.
>tfw used to feel like you
>kept it bottled up
>don't worry about it very often anymore
Still pics related is the worst that happens fairly often
r9k is the only place I put my feels. I have no one else. I've sorta tried talking to a family member about my feels without trying to seem too autistic and all I got was very vague general advice that wouldn't have helped.
I'm not seeing a therapist either. not fucking paying for someone to listen to my problems. that's a fucking scam.
I'm so sad man I've been in this mood were sadness is the base and then I have different emotions through the day that layer up over sadness but sadness is always there for awhile it was emptiness. Does that make sense I just need to talk to someone but opening up to someone is probably my worse fear
They tend to do that
I fucking feel you. I only opened up when I was blackout or almost black out drunk.
Last time I did I told my friend how depressed I was and how much I wanted to die when I was on Xanax and alcohol. I'm glad she didn't take it so hard and I think that's why she's started spending more time with me.
>tfw walking around about my day
>violent thoughts about random people I pass
>most involve knives and personal means of murder
>tfw no gf