>Look, someone apparently decided to come out of his cave

>>26230793
who are you people

and why are you in my house

and whats with the dead hippy in the toilet?

>>26230793

Holy shit, whats with the fucking wheelchair?

Why are there white bitches in my house?

Shoo. There isn't any cheap white wine here.

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>>26230793
Out of my way, I need to find that Beryllium core before the Institute does
*flips on helmet*

>>26230858
She needs it to get around. Her legs don't work properly.

>the fries aren't cooked enough
>the one in the wheelchair is the least fat

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>>26230793
YOU HAVE EATEN ALL MYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TENDIES?
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

FUCKING NORMIES REEEEEEEEEE
I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL KILL YOU ALL REEEEEEEEEEE

>new school
>just keep to myself
>eat lunch in the classroom
>girl does the same
>this goes on for a while
>decide to small talk
>looks at me like im a fcking retard
>takes out her phone
>writes "im deaf"

shes really pretty tho

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>>26230793


WHICH ONE

OF YOU FAT FUCKING COWS

ATE MY TENDIES?!!!!!!!!!!!

>took all the protein
>left me with carbs
At this point I immediately storm off and hop in my car

>>26231507
Stacy just wants you to skip leg day with her, but she's trying to be subtle about it.

>>26231307
learn sign language and talk to her!!!
>tfw katawa shoujo gf

>>26230793
>>Look, someone apparently decided to come out of his cave today!

Fucking hate this shit, my parents say exactly this but in dutch.

>>26231653
I text her regularly, I know how to sign "you're pretty" and such atm.

>>26231507

>Not carbing the fuck up

Protein is a meme, you don't need that much. Carbs you should be getting consistently in large amounts all day.

>>26231737
you are a good man

can u get some more chicken please and I'll come back

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>>26231283
>>26231347

shut it all you do is eat and shit yourself

your an embarrassment to the human race

>>26231716
bro you're already in thee game. Ask her if she wants to hang out one day dude. You have more potential than i've had in years.

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>Go downstairs last Saturday to make some fried birthday cake (basically I just simmer a couple of birthday cake slices in a pan until they melt on the bottom thenplate it upside down and eat)
>Forgot that brother was in town with his girlfriend
>they are visiting
>as I come downstairs they both look at me, the kitchen and lounge are attached so they can see me while they watch TV
>I smile and say 'h-hey bro and his girl'
>walk over to the kitchen counter
>take the birthday cake
>can feel them looking at me, obviously wondering why I have birthday cake
>I turn to put it on the table and take a knife to slice it
>brother breaks the awkwardness
>'Hey isn't your birthday in the Summer? Why do you have that cake?'
>shout back at him
>'NO MAN YOU'RE FORGETTING HAHA....ITS LAST WEEK'
>stare at them both for a few seconds so he feels guilty he forgot
>he turns back
>mumbles something to his girlfriend
>I think they will leave me alone
>start the stove
>pour olive oil in the pan
>stand waiting for it to heat up
>brother and his girlfriend keep turning to look at me
>I get impatient and throw the cake in before the pan is heated
>his girlfriend asks what I am doing
>'j-j-just heating the giant candle for my cake'
>turn so she can't look at me
>get nervous after 1 minute
>take the cake from the pan, oil is dripping off and it hasnt melted
>walk upstairs with oil dripping onto the floor
>forgot to turn the stove off, had to walk back downstairs
>as I turned it off hear 'happy birthday' from behind followed by laughter

>>26232068
I've hung out with her and her friends, they are sorta protective and I feel like i'm being judged by them atm.

>>26231737
>he said, as he drunk another gallon of mountain dew

>>26232153
Ah. Well good luck on your endevours. Women will be women.

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>>26232070
stop caring about the fucker man
stop talking to him and forget his birthday
make holes in his condoms?

>>26232300
Thanks, I dont really care what her friends think, I like her and I think she likes me, as she snapchats and texts me.

but im a fucking doofus and prolly gonna blow it

>>26232410
As shitty as it sounds, "jus b u".

I have faith in you, senpai! Ganbare!

>>26232410
Call her and tell her that you love her.

>>26230793
You shouldn't eat all the chicken you're already fat

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>>26232495
shes deaf, you dingus

>>26232495
She's deaf, anon

>>26231737
Hello Durian Reddit.

>>26230793
Will you be my cripple gf pls?

>>26231737
Eat another loaf of bread you fat fuck.

>>26232410
You're already further ahead than I've ever been

>>26232673
Tell the story anon

>>26231215

Why is there a cripple in my fucking NEET apartment?

>>26232718
What? There's no story, I was just saying that I've never been to the point of sending texts and snaps with a girl (well I've been once but then she stopped)

>>26232764
I meant like was she deaf or..

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>>26230793
>tfw vegan

Like I give a fuck

>>26232788
Nah, just cute though she probably was a total whore and I just didn't know

>>26232875
>just cute though
>probably was a total whore

I'm not preaching the gospel, but these two always go hand in hand

Jokes on you, I like fries and salad

Why are the ketchup bottles in glasses?

>>26230793
Fuck you bitch at least my legs work

>>26233724
A-anon, why are you being so mean to me? :( I thought we could be friends?

>>26233786
nobody ever uttered that phrase in my presence

mary "hotwheels" johnson

>>26231153
>before the Institute does

Asshole. Why aren't you helping them? The Institute is humanity's last hope!

>>26230793
>tfw no wheelie gf

jdimsa

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>>26234447
>>tfw no wheelie gf

i'd like to order one of these please

>>26230858
there wasn't any more chairs.

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>>26234532
its the best chair in the house

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>"Look girls, it's anon"
>"He's so quiet"
>"Say something anon"
>"Yeah anon, say something funny"