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The thought that I may be not ugly and that...
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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The thought that I may be not ugly and that I could actually make it with certain girls I like, but that I won't because I don't have confidence and have a major lack of self-esteem is killing me.
I know looks are important, but I still think that if you're borderline autistic or aspergers, or have major social anxiety, you're never going to make it. It's such a major turn-off for women when you don't have the balls to fucking approach them.
>>
I know that feel all too well. Shit never goes past that first date with girls cause I'm too much of a loser.

Maybe I'd have more confidence if I thought I wasn't ugly. On the one hand if girls are agreeing to go out with me then I must be sort-of attractive, but at the same time I still only see an ugly fat shit when I look in the mirror.
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Awkwardness and fagginess will dry women up faster than anything else OP. Social skills are a must.
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Read a book on body language. It helps a lot. Thought follows language, and if you practice making confident gestures and stances, your mind will follow.

But I'm fucking hideous neck-down so I'll never get anywhere.
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>>26213765
At least you had a date.

>>26213799
Yeah, I am well aware of that. At least it's a bit comforting that I can tell myself that I actually did ask two girls out for a drink. At least I tried something, right?

>>26213824
Those books never helped me, I just can't get over my lack of self-esteem, plus there's this voice in my head telling me that I look stupid almost always when I start talking or doing something.
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>>26213845
That's not your voice, it's the learned voice of an imaginarily judgemental society

Fuck that voice
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Why don't girls ever come up to autists? I mean in situations where there's mutual interest. Some autists are decent looking enough to get a date but never do because we're autists.
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>>26213880
I don't even know how that voice appeared, I was never told I was ugly, except by this one girl which is really fucking ugly so it didn't even bother me at all. Maybe it's because I expected girls to approach me and they didn't?
Also this one girl which is a year older than me told me I'm good looking. That's it though, I also heard it from 2-3 older people, but I never take their words seriously.

>>26213887
Because that's how we function, look at other animals. Women pick the best partner. If you're an autist, she isn't going to pick you. You have to go out there and compete with others, and she just has to pick. It's so fucking one-sided it hurts. I know it's nature, but fuck it. I've given up on it all recently, not that I was trying too much, just asked out two girls for a drink, that's it. I hate going to clubs, and I don't want to change myself and do that kind of thing.
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>>26213887
Girls don't come up to people.
They do "approach", with non-verbal cues and glances - subtly, to make their target think the approach was their idea.
Autists are blind to this.
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>>26213887

You can tell if someone's awkward without even talking to them. Like people with actual 'bergers and autism stand out like a sore thumb because of body language and general mannerisms alone
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>>26213960
Absolutely correct.

>>26213952
Almost absolutely correct, girls do approach, but only if they don't have self-confidence, or if you're a 10/10.
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>>26213952
Tfw I never pick up on female subtlety because I only have one real female friend and things were always platonic.
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>>26214090
Dude, the hints girls drop anyway are retarded and very subtle. Like, if she bumps her arm into you apparently that means that she likes you. Or if she sits beside you in a lecture hall.

Literally none of their "hints" will ever make sense. They're all worthless.
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Tfw the only women who approach me are land whale weeaboos.
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>>26214427
see >>26213980
We've established how this works
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>>26213887
Actually they usually don't approach in general because of the fear of rejection. They have the idea in their head that guys will lower their standards as long as there's a chance they will get laid. If a girl approaches and get's rejected it's like saying she's so ugly that no guy will even fuck her. Can't say the above statement is true but it kind of makes sense.
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