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Why haven't you sold your soul to Satan yet?
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 33
Thread images: 3
File: satan pepe.jpg (10 KB, 320x320) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Why haven't you sold your soul to Satan yet?
>>
Because Satan doesn't real. Why haven't you grown out of playing pretend for things that you think are cool and edgy?
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>implying my soul is worth anything
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[email protected] weak uncultivated spirit
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>>26211803

>Satan is real
>afterlife exists
>I trade away that afterlife to make my <100 years of life better

Stupid plan.

>Satan isn't real
>I sold something imaginary away to no one for nothing
>nothing changes

It's always stupid to sell your soul.
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>>26211803
because if youre considering it your soul is already worthless
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>>26211803
I don't want to burn in a lake of fire. Now repent and ask God for forgiveness
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>>26212771
yeaah pretty much this original comment right here
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>>26211803
But I did. I think.

I don't have a contract.

But spooky shit happened when I declared my willingness to.
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>>26213133
What did you obtained In exchange?
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>>26212854
this please repent op
not even joking
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>wanting to be cucked by Satan
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I'm a ginger.
kill me please
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>>26213162
Luxury through coincidental circumstance. A temporary gf. Ebin memes. Dubs.
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File: cello.jpg (43 KB, 512x288) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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i sold mine to be a beast at the cello. i thought girls were attracted to the cello. turns out they are not. now im going to hell.
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>>26213183
>not wanting to be cucked by the Trump of religion
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>>26212802
I sould my soul to Santa.
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>>26213182
>>26212854
My believer brothers
>tfw had a vision of heaven and the promised city
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>>26213210
>sell soul for gf
>only temporary
FUCKING CHAD DEMONS LUCIFER GET OUT
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Now, what you really want to do, guys, is BUY souls.

Find a bar near a Christian area. The best possible place would be a bar in a town with a Christian college. Wait around until you find a person there alone, and then sit beside them. Talk to them. Go full-on normie and buddy up with them. Buy them a couple rounds. Get them shitfaced.

Hand them a paper (on which you have a contract detailing that they are selling their soul, in a font too small for a drunk to read) and tell them you'll give them $20 for their signature. When you get it, take a selfie with them, while holding the paper.

The next day, you find his grandma and show up. You show her the pictures. You show her the paper. You demand $2,000.
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>>26213291
She turned from a depressed wreck almost creepily obsessed with me to a social justice warrior who wants to kill me. Over me "not listening to her" enough. I guess it was the old "wishes turn sour" cliche *shrug*

Thanks Lucifer
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>>26213295
I am pretty sure that's a good way to end in hell.
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>>26213375

Nope. MUH FORGIVENESS
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>>26213133
What spooky shit happened? Lights flickering and some other entry level stuff?
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I welcome Hell.
All my enemies will be there,awaiting my coming with anxious trembling. Justice will flow from my fingers and long has it been denied and we'll deserved.

And the damned will need a Champion. To alleviate the suffering of the undeserving is an honourable way to spend eternity.

I welcome Hell. And perhaps Hell will welcome Me.
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>>26213405
You have to ask for forgiveness sincerely. If you consciously committed a sin thinking that it will be forgiven it's not really sincere
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>>26211803
Satan isn't even real nigga

He was based on the goat-headed pagan god and used by Christians to terrorize natives
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I sold my soul to get a great body, but it meant I would be socially retarded and be poor and lazy forever.
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>>26213580
No, that's where his picture came from. Humans need pictures and physical things to believe something which is dumb.
Bible describes satan as the nicest guy you'll ever meet.
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>>26213580
Oh, no. No, sir. He's white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean old hound. That's right.
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>>26213633
the christians pretty much stated that any animal god was trickery of satan

some bullshit like that
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>>26213580

Literally wrong
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Already did. Diagnosed with fibromyalgia this summer. Cripple as fuck. Told satan that if I could lift again I'd be spreading the good word for the rest of my life. Gained 30lbs of muscle since then. Pain 99% gone. Hail satan. God is a narcissistic pussy bitch who shoves propaganda down yo throat. Satan is love satan is life.
Thread replies: 33
Thread images: 3
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