How do I learn to talk dirty?
>I-I wanna split your p-pussy in two senpai
>"You're so quiet when you have sex, anon."
I don't know how to talk dirty. Privately masturbating since I was 8 has seared silence into whatever part of my brain is linked to orgasm.
Find out what they're into. Notice subtle things that make them extra "excited" and throw those in once in a while. Basically think of a scenario and tell them step by step (like greentexting) what you're gonna do to them. Don't go too fast, take your time.
What would a girl say during or after sex that turns you on?
Unless you're black i'd be bursting out laughing if I was the woman. I can't even conceive dirty talk myself.
It's fucking hard, though. It feels so forced and fake when I try. I can do the physical stuff pretty spontaneously because it just comes to me, but words are another story.
>"I'm all yours./This pussy/ass is all yours./You can do whatever you want to me./"
>"Your dick feels so good./I love your cock./Your dick feels so big./Something about how she can feel it pulsing."
>"Cum inside me./I want your cum./Knock me up."
>Something about how she's a whore, particularly if she expresses what a whore she is and then expresses in the same breath that I'm good by a whore's standards
>"Awwwww yeeeeeaaaahhh...." (Legitimately heard this one once and have no clue why that in particular made me diamond-hard.)
>"That's nice./Any variation thereof that isn't laughably cheesy"
>Something fucked up like how I'm better than somebody she fucked or how she wants to have my abortion or how she wants to feel defenseless to stop me from raping her
>Begging for the D/Talking about how much she loves penises
>Pretty much any genuine expression of happiness and appreciation (Not even canned lines or cheesy moans. Really, just a genuine smile, laughter, a bit lip, or any expression of uninhibited contentment, particularly if she's a really nice girl and isn't even trying to make herself sound sexy, gets me rock-hard.
Nope. That works for me, as cheesy as it is.
>tfw practicing moaning and dirty talk on vocaroo
>i sound absolutely retarded
i'm pretty sure they'd just pull up their pants and laugh their way out the room
Somebody go on Vocaroo and demonstrate how to do this
>possible party in a few days
"I'm going to cum lots in your little pussy"
"Today's not a safe day~ I'm going to knock you up~"
"You can't hide it, your body wants my cock... and my cum in your womb"
Tends to work for me. UNIVERSAL FETISH.
Not really. With a casual hookup it wouldn't work, but you just sound out whether she's into that, and then just kind of deliver it.
However, the hitch to all "dirty talk" is you can't JUST deliver it, if they don't respond it quadruples the weight put on you to preform. If they're receptive it doesn't matter whether it sounds retarded, because they're shaking all over from taking the dick, and stammering out something just as retarded.
Tell her what you are going to do to her
Tell her how tight/ taste good/ sexy she is
Groan if something feels good but don't let her think you are coming when you do it
But I havnt had sex in years I just watch porn
>this is basically the stuff I say
but I'm a guy openly unlike you :^)and hetero
I mean there's nothing wrong with it, besides the stiffness of the delivery. I guess it'd be different if you were actually doing it. It's a lot lewder when it's hard to properly pronounce words, you slur, and stop speaking halfway through to moan then struggle to continue.
I mean this is the basic formula yeah, it just needs to be personalized.
Also, it's good to throw in one or two ridiculous longer statements too. "That feels so good" and "master~" are fine but nothing screams fuckmenow like blurting out "I want you to make me your cockslut!" or "C-cum in my pussy and get me pregnant".
Those are examples and you'd need to read the situation and know what the other person is into. It's also different if it's an equal footing relationship, although you seem submissive anyways.
Don't talk, body language is key. You got to act like an animal, get your face all up in hers and her body and and start humping away. Make sure to grapple her good and rub her. Touching is good.
It really comes naturally to you if you like the woman a lot. You only have awkward sex when you hardly know or love the person and are not otherwise experienced enough. With someone you love you cannot go wrong though as it comes naturally to you how to act. You do what you want to do.
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I mean, it's exactly what humans are supposed to like, we're supposed to want to procreate that's the whole point of sex. Whether you like it or not, it will turn you on without you knowing.
>Don't talk, body language is key.
>Guys, don't talk during sex. You sound like you are seriously sexually repressed when you do that.
You're both stupid. Lack of communication = mediocre sex.
The whole premise of this thread is stupid though. Its like asking "what do I say in order to have a good conversation", because that's not how conversations work, you can't just drop a phrase into a conversation and automatically make it a good conversation. You have to listen and respond to the other person, that's the basics of all social skills. You find out what you both like and you do those things.
Also your responsibility in sex (and other social interactions) is to please yourself first and them second. Your actions and words should flow from that. If you want to say something you should say it. If you want them to say something, then ask them to say stuff that you like to hear.
You can't be afraid of awkwardness. Awkwardness will happen in real sex, because real sex isn't staged like porn. There are supposed to be awkward wierd and funny moments, and you're supposed to be having sex with someone who doesn't mind. Viewing sex as some kind of performance is fucking awful.
I dont want to hear them say anything but make noises. Last time i did it, it was just exchanges of groans and moans.