How do I learn to talk dirty? >I-I wanna split your

>>26162352
I also want to learn.

Can we practice on each other or something? n-no homo

>>26162352
>"You're so quiet when you have sex, anon."

I don't know how to talk dirty. Privately masturbating since I was 8 has seared silence into whatever part of my brain is linked to orgasm.

Find out what they're into. Notice subtle things that make them extra "excited" and throw those in once in a while. Basically think of a scenario and tell them step by step (like greentexting) what you're gonna do to them. Don't go too fast, take your time.

>>26162384
literally just grunt and say things like "you're so fucking hot"

unless the girl is into daddy/daughter or rapeplay or some shit you should be good.

I have no idea how to, sorry.

>>26162408
>tfw no roleplay daughter gf to talk dirty to
just fuck my whole universe up

>>26162352
just degrade and insult, pretty standard fare

>>26162352
>>26162367
I want to practice too! I have a feminine penis too...

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What would a girl say during or after sex that turns you on?

>>26162469
where can I contact anons that want to practice?

>>26162487

>treat me like the dirty little slut I am
>fill me up

Too vanilla?

Read erotic stories and use their examples and make it realistic

>>26162534
Isn't that super awkward to say in real life? I feel like if a girl said that to me I'd just burst out laughing.

>>26162574
>fill me up
I'd unload like a zebra.

>>26162510
Well, my e-mail is [email protected]...

If I'm nailing a bitch I'd say stuff like

>you needed this
>so fucking tight
>you loyal

>implying I can pull pussy

Play Trials in Tainted Space

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>o-oh anon, lemmie suck on those balls

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>>26162680
>you loyal
Unless you're black i'd be bursting out laughing if I was the woman. I can't even conceive dirty talk myself.

>>26162711
Psh, girls don't even like balls that much, you dingus

>>26162408
It's fucking hard, though. It feels so forced and fake when I try. I can do the physical stuff pretty spontaneously because it just comes to me, but words are another story.

>>26162487
>"I'm all yours./This pussy/ass is all yours./You can do whatever you want to me./"
>"Your dick feels so good./I love your cock./Your dick feels so big./Something about how she can feel it pulsing."
>"Cum inside me./I want your cum./Knock me up."
>Something about how she's a whore, particularly if she expresses what a whore she is and then expresses in the same breath that I'm good by a whore's standards
>"Doooon't stoooop..."
>"Awwwww yeeeeeaaaahhh...." (Legitimately heard this one once and have no clue why that in particular made me diamond-hard.)
>"That's nice./Any variation thereof that isn't laughably cheesy"
>Something fucked up like how I'm better than somebody she fucked or how she wants to have my abortion or how she wants to feel defenseless to stop me from raping her
>Begging for the D/Talking about how much she loves penises
>Pretty much any genuine expression of happiness and appreciation (Not even canned lines or cheesy moans. Really, just a genuine smile, laughter, a bit lip, or any expression of uninhibited contentment, particularly if she's a really nice girl and isn't even trying to make herself sound sexy, gets me rock-hard.

>>26162534
Nope. That works for me, as cheesy as it is.

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>tfw practicing moaning and dirty talk on vocaroo
>i sound absolutely retarded

i'm pretty sure they'd just pull up their pants and laugh their way out the room

>>26162740
is that why ur gay

>>26162773
Gay with ur mom, maybe :^)

>>26162429
Rapeplay it's awesome

>>26162796
no u

original comment pls dunk it up

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Somebody go on Vocaroo and demonstrate how to do this

>megavirgin here
>possible party in a few days

"I'm going to cum lots in your little pussy"
"Today's not a safe day~ I'm going to knock you up~"
"You can't hide it, your body wants my cock... and my cum in your womb"

Tends to work for me. UNIVERSAL FETISH.

>>26162842
How about you dunk deez nuts, ya homo

>>26162881
what if i do, you gay

>>26162869
I mean sure, it works on paper, but in real life this would sound retarded

>>26162918
Let's do it. Post contact info, and we'll dunk all the balls

>>26162962
[email protected]

>>26162954
Not really. With a casual hookup it wouldn't work, but you just sound out whether she's into that, and then just kind of deliver it.

However, the hitch to all "dirty talk" is you can't JUST deliver it, if they don't respond it quadruples the weight put on you to preform. If they're receptive it doesn't matter whether it sounds retarded, because they're shaking all over from taking the dick, and stammering out something just as retarded.

Is this hot?
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1h7g0PMrWAF

I can't tell if this sounds good or too try hard

Tell her what you are going to do to her

Tell her how tight/ taste good/ sexy she is
Groan if something feels good but don't let her think you are coming when you do it

But I havnt had sex in years I just watch porn

>tfw no friend to practice being lewd with
That doesn't make it gay, dummies.

>>26163018
>this is basically the stuff I say but I'm a guy openly unlike you :^) and hetero

I mean there's nothing wrong with it, besides the stiffness of the delivery. I guess it'd be different if you were actually doing it. It's a lot lewder when it's hard to properly pronounce words, you slur, and stop speaking halfway through to moan then struggle to continue.

>>26163051
I mean this is the basic formula yeah, it just needs to be personalized.

>>26163114
thanks for the tip ill work on it

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>>26162487
>tfw "daddy"

>>26163151
Also, it's good to throw in one or two ridiculous longer statements too. "That feels so good" and "master~" are fine but nothing screams fuckmenow like blurting out "I want you to make me your cockslut!" or "C-cum in my pussy and get me pregnant".

Those are examples and you'd need to read the situation and know what the other person is into. It's also different if it's an equal footing relationship, although you seem submissive anyways.

>>26162352
Don't talk, body language is key. You got to act like an animal, get your face all up in hers and her body and and start humping away. Make sure to grapple her good and rub her. Touching is good.

It really comes naturally to you if you like the woman a lot. You only have awkward sex when you hardly know or love the person and are not otherwise experienced enough. With someone you love you cannot go wrong though as it comes naturally to you how to act. You do what you want to do.

A girl moaning about me knocking her up and to cum inside to get her pregnant etc would drive me insane
In a good way
>anyone else know this feel?

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>>26162680
>so fucking tight
>

>>26162352
Teasing someone when you're making out is the best thing

>>26163456
Didn't Sam Hyde poke fun of that in one of his videos?

Guys, don't talk during sex. You sound like you are seriously sexually repressed when you do that.

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>>26163018
>Error: Sorry, the requested media could not be found. It may have expired or been deleted.

Fucks sake.

>>26163399
>>26163274
Do guys really like pregnancy talk? Wouldn't that scare some guy into thinking he's getting spermjacked or some shit?

>>26163537
If she was my gf or a girl I loved I would be in full animal fuck her until i pass out mode
If a random stranger... lil bit scary

>>26163532
it was just some awkward moaning and dirty talk, i'm pretty bad at it

>>26162352
Girls are the ones who are supposed to talk during sex. When guys try and do that it's cringy as fuck. The woman says something sexy and you respond to it.

>>26162487
>tfw bitch starts saying "oh shit, oohhh fuuck" when im thrusting deep

>>26162487
>during foreplay
>she unironically says "I want you inside me"

JUST LIKE MY ANIMES

>>26163640
THATS JUST LIKE ONE OF MY JAPANESE ANIMES!

>>26163672
>>26163640
do anime girls yell kawaiiii or sugoi when they cum?

>>26163640
>"don't stain the sheets, cum inside me deep."
>"ow! ow! not so deeeeeeep!"
mah dick

>>26163399
I mean, it's exactly what humans are supposed to like, we're supposed to want to procreate that's the whole point of sex. Whether you like it or not, it will turn you on without you knowing.

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>>26163361
>Don't talk, body language is key.

>>26163497
>Guys, don't talk during sex. You sound like you are seriously sexually repressed when you do that.

You're both stupid. Lack of communication = mediocre sex.

The whole premise of this thread is stupid though. Its like asking "what do I say in order to have a good conversation", because that's not how conversations work, you can't just drop a phrase into a conversation and automatically make it a good conversation. You have to listen and respond to the other person, that's the basics of all social skills. You find out what you both like and you do those things.

Also your responsibility in sex (and other social interactions) is to please yourself first and them second. Your actions and words should flow from that. If you want to say something you should say it. If you want them to say something, then ask them to say stuff that you like to hear.

You can't be afraid of awkwardness. Awkwardness will happen in real sex, because real sex isn't staged like porn. There are supposed to be awkward wierd and funny moments, and you're supposed to be having sex with someone who doesn't mind. Viewing sex as some kind of performance is fucking awful.

>>26163929
Saying "oh yeah, ur so tight" is not communication.

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>>26162487
>m-my hips are moving on their own!

>>26162352
>CUHRUSSSHHH
>BURN TO ASHES
>COME WITH ME TO HEEELLLL

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>>26162487
I dont want to hear them say anything but make noises. Last time i did it, it was just exchanges of groans and moans.

Primal essence