ITT: We discuss the abuse we faced as children.
I need some love, /r9k/...
>Be 9 years old
>Be betrayed and raped by a male teacher whom your mother trusted
>Never tell anyone for 5 years and be severely depressed for 10
>Eventually get better, but the scars surface from time to time
So, how about it, /r9k/?
Can we have a loving discussion on this board?
sounds like the kind of "depression" that middle aged women get when nobody hits on them at the clubs anymore.
anyway, i was spat on and hit in the head at least weekly and scolded every day by my parents until i was 15, had no one to trust. didn't get the meme disease though. moved out at 18 and had a great normal life because i studied hard as a kid.
Depressed in the way that I was constantly gloomy and couldn't make friends.
My mom sent me to a psychiatrist because she worried about me when I was 12, before she even knew why I was that way.
I was ashamed and didn't even want to think about it and admit it to myself.
What made it the hardest was that my body reacted to the stimulation as it does for many rape victims and for that I was disgusted with myself.
one of my relatives told me she was assaulted by her dad.
the problem is she was laughing as she said it so I thought it was a sick joke
I found out later that she may have been telling the truth.
I got bullied at school, once or twice by the entire class. Only 20 years later did I come to realize that I deserved all of it, and that my bullies weren't actually bad people, but just hated defective, annoying idiots. Adult 20//20 ftw.
My childhood was fucked up
>Bullied in school
>beaten up whole school. and i mean almost EVERYONE treated me like shit. it never ended
>age 6 dad leaves and remarries
>shes a fucking crazy bitch
>sends death threats to my mom via email
>is very absusive to me. started as just "shower up youve been playing all day you stink" to stripping me naked and spraying me on full blast with the hose. yelling at me saying i "smelled like my whore mothers house"
>dad does nothing about this somtimes even being her henchman
>i remember one time she locked me in the basement and beat the fuck out of me because i said my hometown was in that direction.
>tries to stalk my mom, one day her ex husband comes over to warn us that she is plotting to hurt my mom or me
>call police, and get social workers involved
>they do nothing about it. my mom was poor, had a history of depression and lived in a trailer park. even though she was a good mom to me back then
>broke down in tears infront of social worker saying i was affriad they would kill me. they told me i was being mellowdramatic.
>this goes on until im 10 years old. they just stopped showing up to get me on weekends
>lash out a lot in preteen years get into a lot of trouble, fight a lot at school, disrespectful to teachers. get sent to school for fucked up kids with temper problems. they were borderline abusive there too. they would restrain kids for just not doing their work or slouching.
>get out of there, manage to go back to normal high school
>rumors that im crazy lurk everywhere, still get into some trouble
>graduate at bottom of class, could have done better but never applied myself
>all the while, after the situation with my dad happened my mom fell into a deep depression. she would never clean the house. hoards boxes, sleeps all day and didnt have a job. thats how things still stand. i still live with her as a neet
>dont talk to dad anymore ever
bonus points If you can guess how that fucked me up in later life
>dad is a violent schizophrenic paedophile from a rough city
>my mum was also violent
>parents moved from Manchester to Taunton in 1981 because racist
>had my sister in '89 and me in '92
>used to beat me, lock me in cupboards and wash mouth out with soap when I was as young as 3
>had to watch and sometimes get caught inbetween parents physical fighting
>mum and dad divorced in '95
>mum took me and sister to Manchester women and childrens home
>met a guy called Frank
>he used to beat me and my sister, swung us by our ears until they bled
>dad found us and took us to Exeter
>sexually abused me, physically abused me, mentally abused me and verbally abused me
>used to go crazy a lot, heavy drinker. extremely violent
>dropped sister off at cop station in June of '97
>I'm with this crazy bastard until late '98
>go into care
>I molested kids when I was a kid (even living with my dad)
>my foster dad cheated on my foster mum so there were a lot of fights there
>foster dad has punched me on occasion
>I tried to fuck foster sister
>killed her hamsters and a dog
>thought about mass murder a lot
>I attempted burglary once
Stopped all the bad shit now though. I just go to work and come home... Boring, day in day out. I have a new therapist who thinks I'm too unstable for PTSD therapy. I'm on citalopram now
and preparing a grand happening
My story sounds like a walk in the park compared to your childhood...
I'm sorry that you had to go home to constant abuse like that. Anyone who harms a child should be thrown in jail.
I hope you get better.
not really, i just like a few animes/mangas. honestly not too fond of most of them. and the animation is qt
Yeah, i have a lot of submissive gayness in me. its super suppressed though. though i do still am attracted to women.
Other than that, i have a hard time trusting people, especially women. im kind of withdrawn. and i have a strong emptiness, and low self esteem. and top that off with a gfd fetish cuz i just want a girl to be nice and supportive to me and stuff.... and
i have a mommy dom fetish. which sucks bc its impossible to find decent porn of gentle cute stuff like that. but daddy dom roasties have all the content in the world
i just want to be a kid man
even though im going on 21
i want to go back but i want to be happy and ive always wanted to be myself without any shame. but the problem is i dont know who i am.
its funny how the most minute shit will completely fuck up a persons mind if shit happens to them as a kid.
Fuck... fine. It'll get detailed and gross, though.
>Be 9 years old
>Boys in my class just went throught sex-ed with my male teacher, girls with a female
>Learn that penis is supposed to go into vagina etc.
>A month later is the science fair
>I do my project and attend during the evening
>My mom arranged with my principal to find a teacher who could bring me home after since she had to work, as well as my dad
>My teacher who taught me about sex-ed tells me he was the one who would bring me home
>Fair's done and he says that he needs help cleaning them gymnasium
>Everything's clean and we're both in the supply room storing chairs
>He closes the door behind us and tells me to take off my pants
>"I want to make sure you understand everything I taught you." He says..
>I'm too scared to resist and he starts fondling me
>Tells me I'm a "good boy" and kisses me on the lips
>I try to recoil but he grabs my head
>He gets hot and heavy and sits down on a bench and pulls me on his lap facing towards him
>takes my underwear off, as well as his
>Pulls me up so that my butt is hovering over his cock
>Wets his fingers and sticks them in my butt
>Finishes with that and then slowly guides me down on to his cock
>Fucks me in this position two times while kissing me on the lips and saying he loves me
>Finshes up and brings me to the locker room and cleans me up in the shower
>Brings me home, violated and ashamed
>Face severe depression for the following ten years and don't tell anyone what happened until I'm 14
>Guy is in jail and I've recovered
I don't know if you're the type who assumes they're al just quacks, but I recommend seeing a psychiatrist.
The fact that they keep their personal emotion out of their analysis makes them a lot easier to talk to about your experiences then most. Psychiatry helped me.
>Beaten by mother about once a week until age 15
>Massive nutritional deficit, when I left home I was 5' and weighed 100 lb (currently 6'1" and 150 lb).
>No friends, no social group, placed in spec. ed. classes from first-grade onwards
>Escaped the second I could, bought a greyhound ticket for Los Angeles
>Nobody except for Taco Bell would hire me, and even then I had to duck out back whenever the health inspector showed up b/c underage
>Been mugged three times by gangs of niggers and spics when going to work/home
>Got assaulted by a hobo walking home once, my teeth are now permanently fucked up
>Poor, ugly, uneducated white trash
>Got my GED
>Took an EMT class at my local community college
>Pay bump allowed me to move out of Compton into Long Beach (and you know you're in a really shitty part of LA when moving to Long Beach is seen as a step up)
>Just enrolled at CSULB for a degree in psych so I can work as a spec. ed. teacher
>I am constantly filled with a volcanic rage for everyone around me
>I hate my mother and everyone who stood by but said nothing
>I want to go on a killing spree, but I quietly despair at the fact I won't be able to kill enough people
Ive been seeing therapists and pyschs on and off since i was very very young
in fact they dont give a shit about me. i went back to therapy but like. my therapist is a bluepilled as fuck turtleneck wearing mother fucker who i dont relate with at all.. i feel like they dont care and they just want to profit off of your suffering
I aprreciate it but it doesnt work for me
i only see a basic shrink now, and thats mostly just for help with job and financial resources to help me get on my feet
Damn I love reading these threads. They remind me how meager my own abuse was. Growing up I always felt like everyone around me were carefree normies, good to know otherwise. Keep em coming folks.
That really sucks to hear, man.
My psychiatrist would work on his days off in order to make time for me.
I think my story hit him really hard and he cared a lot about me, even though he couldn't show it.
He even stopped charging my parents for sessions after a few months.
i could have a good therapist if i could afford one
i go to what is the equal to the free clinic for mental patients. they take basic medicaid and i remember for depression we had "group" which consisted of one other person and me in a room where this quack just read coping skills and shit out of an outdated textbook
i just wish someone gave a shit about me man.
people only want to help you if there is something in it for them
I had literally nowhere else to go. I was going to kill the bitch, or she was going to kill me. I'm still a little upset because I know my face wouldn't be so fucked up, and I wouldn't've been so short if I'd had better nutrition when I was younger.
yeah, these were grown ass men, hanging out at the station to sexually assault and harass women
it's sad, because I love hanging out at European train stations, but if I went there and did so now, there's a high chance either a migrant or a nationalist would assault me
>your fucking retarded.
(fuck le robot)
Some of these stories are so soulcrushing, don't want to single anyone out though, I hope you all find some peace.
I was an only child raised by a single mother who was very violent. She has autism, so it was basically tard rage. When things were good she could go a couple of months without hurting me, but at other times I was being punched, hit and choked on a daily basis. She would make me hug her after she hurt me to say sorry and she would also come into the shower or bath and beat me when I was naked which I'm fairly sure has made me averse to being touched and being naked. I cannot even imagine what actual sexual abuse does to someone.
I was bullied at schoolI deserve it for being an obnoxious weeb. Teachers did not like me because I was seen as intelligent(I'm really not) but not trying. When I was 10 or so I found out what she was doing was illegal and I told her, she handed me the phone and told me I'd get raped in a group home. I stayed quiet. Feeling like I had no one affected me more than the abuse I think. I have a good therapist now. Things are looking up. I still don't really have anyone though.
I also can't talk about the things that happened unless I'm making jokes about it. If you don't laugh you cry and all that.
I don't deal, but I do grow my own opium poppies and synthesize my own fentanyl. I've never sold a single milligram of the stuff to anyone else, I just don't trust street dealers to give me pure shit.
I'll say it again, I may have experienced physical trauma that was worse than some of these other stories, but at least I had a loving family and people that cared for me to support me...
I'm sorry for you, anon.
Sounds like you have a little production line going for yourself...
The most I know about opium is the episode of Seinfeld when Elaine is suspended from her job because a poppyseed muffin she ate made her come up as an opium addict on a drug test.
That is actually a real thing that happens quite often, there is a decent amount of opiate alkaloids that remain on the seeds even after processing, hence the cultural phenomenon in the eastern hemisphere of poppy seed tea.
It's not that well known because the poppy seed producers do their best to keep it under wraps, as if it was a well known fact, undoubtedly world governments would cease to allow the production of poppy seeds.
I'm glad so many of you decided to share your stories, they always help me get a better perspective on life. Plus I think its good for you too, to be allowed to vent your problems to an audience.
>mummy spanked and hit me until age 12
>daddy has temper problems but only yells a few times a year
>mutual dislike most of the time
>emotional abuse by brothers (calling me names, being assholes)
>relatively tame, normal stuff
>still ended up an asocial beta weeaboo pedo zoophile freak with "depression" and an abrasive personality