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ITT: We discuss the abuse we faced as children. I need some love,

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Thread replies: 83
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ITT: We discuss the abuse we faced as children.
I need some love, /r9k/...

>Be me
>Be pic-related
>Be 9 years old
>Be betrayed and raped by a male teacher whom your mother trusted
>Never tell anyone for 5 years and be severely depressed for 10
>Eventually get better, but the scars surface from time to time

So, how about it, /r9k/?
Can we have a loving discussion on this board?
>>
>>26139398
Did you press charges?
>>
>>26139427
Yeah, my parents brought it to court when I was 14.
He pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 7.5 years.
I wish he was sentenced to death...
>>
>>26139398
>10 years
sounds like the kind of "depression" that middle aged women get when nobody hits on them at the clubs anymore.

anyway, i was spat on and hit in the head at least weekly and scolded every day by my parents until i was 15, had no one to trust. didn't get the meme disease though. moved out at 18 and had a great normal life because i studied hard as a kid.
>>
>>26139398
>Never tell anyone for 5 years
Well you're sure making up for lost time lately.
>>
>>26139509
Depressed in the way that I was constantly gloomy and couldn't make friends.
My mom sent me to a psychiatrist because she worried about me when I was 12, before she even knew why I was that way.
>>
>>26139546
I was ashamed and didn't even want to think about it and admit it to myself.
What made it the hardest was that my body reacted to the stimulation as it does for many rape victims and for that I was disgusted with myself.
>>
>sexually and physically abused by my dad for years
>tell my cousin when we're teens
>she tells everyone and i'm humiliated
>>
>>26139601
Did she tell everyone to embarrass you or out of concern for you?
>>
>>26139623
>she
as if you already didnt know the answer
>>
>>26139658
Yeah, girls like to gossip...
That's extremely shitty of her.
>>
>>26139601
one of my relatives told me she was assaulted by her dad.
the problem is she was laughing as she said it so I thought it was a sick joke

I found out later that she may have been telling the truth.
>>
>>26139687
Some people cope in odd ways...
>>
>>26139563
yeah but that's an insult to yourself that one day of abuse ruined your entire childhood. be glad you live in such a comfy world.
>>
>>26139763
It is, but I didn't cause it.
It's my assaulter's fault for ever abusing me, not me for responding to it emotionally.
>>
I got bullied at school, once or twice by the entire class. Only 20 years later did I come to realize that I deserved all of it, and that my bullies weren't actually bad people, but just hated defective, annoying idiots. Adult 20//20 ftw.
>>
>>26139813
i didn't say it was your fault what the fuck is your problem you idiot? i don't know how it works, maybe you were born that pathetic and it was inevitable.
>>
>>26139837
Maybe the fact that I was disgusted with myself for reacting to it sexually is what caused the depression!
Fuck you for calling me pathetic!
>>
>>26139816
True.
Some kids are just annoying and need to be told off.
>>
>>26139919
>waaa
jesus christ. you have no clue what depression is.
>>
>>26140031
Enlighten me, then. Prick.
>>
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>>26139398

My childhood was fucked up

>Bullied in school
>beaten up whole school. and i mean almost EVERYONE treated me like shit. it never ended
>age 6 dad leaves and remarries
>shes a fucking crazy bitch
>sends death threats to my mom via email
>is very absusive to me. started as just "shower up youve been playing all day you stink" to stripping me naked and spraying me on full blast with the hose. yelling at me saying i "smelled like my whore mothers house"
>dad does nothing about this somtimes even being her henchman
>i remember one time she locked me in the basement and beat the fuck out of me because i said my hometown was in that direction.
>tries to stalk my mom, one day her ex husband comes over to warn us that she is plotting to hurt my mom or me
>call police, and get social workers involved
>they do nothing about it. my mom was poor, had a history of depression and lived in a trailer park. even though she was a good mom to me back then
>broke down in tears infront of social worker saying i was affriad they would kill me. they told me i was being mellowdramatic.
>this goes on until im 10 years old. they just stopped showing up to get me on weekends
>lash out a lot in preteen years get into a lot of trouble, fight a lot at school, disrespectful to teachers. get sent to school for fucked up kids with temper problems. they were borderline abusive there too. they would restrain kids for just not doing their work or slouching.
>get out of there, manage to go back to normal high school
>rumors that im crazy lurk everywhere, still get into some trouble
>graduate at bottom of class, could have done better but never applied myself
>all the while, after the situation with my dad happened my mom fell into a deep depression. she would never clean the house. hoards boxes, sleeps all day and didnt have a job. thats how things still stand. i still live with her as a neet
>dont talk to dad anymore ever

bonus points If you can guess how that fucked me up in later life
>>
>>26140206
You're gay and a weaboo?

In all seriousness, I'm sorry. At least my experience was a one-off thing, and not something I had to go home to all throughout my childhood.
>>
>dad is a violent schizophrenic paedophile from a rough city
>my mum was also violent
>parents moved from Manchester to Taunton in 1981 because racist
>had my sister in '89 and me in '92
>used to beat me, lock me in cupboards and wash mouth out with soap when I was as young as 3
>had to watch and sometimes get caught inbetween parents physical fighting
>mum and dad divorced in '95
>mum took me and sister to Manchester women and childrens home
>met a guy called Frank
>he used to beat me and my sister, swung us by our ears until they bled
>dad found us and took us to Exeter
>sexually abused me, physically abused me, mentally abused me and verbally abused me
>used to go crazy a lot, heavy drinker. extremely violent
>dropped sister off at cop station in June of '97
>I'm with this crazy bastard until late '98
>go into care
>am withdrawn
>I molested kids when I was a kid (even living with my dad)
>my foster dad cheated on my foster mum so there were a lot of fights there
>foster dad has punched me on occasion
>I tried to fuck foster sister
>killed her hamsters and a dog
>pyromaniac
>thought about mass murder a lot
>thief
>vandal
>I attempted burglary once
>zoophillia

Stopped all the bad shit now though. I just go to work and come home... Boring, day in day out. I have a new therapist who thinks I'm too unstable for PTSD therapy. I'm on citalopram now and preparing a grand happening
>>
>>26140304
My story sounds like a walk in the park compared to your childhood...
I'm sorry that you had to go home to constant abuse like that. Anyone who harms a child should be thrown in jail.
I hope you get better.
>>
>>26140240

>Weaboo
not really, i just like a few animes/mangas. honestly not too fond of most of them. and the animation is qt

>gay
Yeah, i have a lot of submissive gayness in me. its super suppressed though. though i do still am attracted to women.

Other than that, i have a hard time trusting people, especially women. im kind of withdrawn. and i have a strong emptiness, and low self esteem. and top that off with a gfd fetish cuz i just want a girl to be nice and supportive to me and stuff.... and i have a mommy dom fetish. which sucks bc its impossible to find decent porn of gentle cute stuff like that. but daddy dom roasties have all the content in the world


i just want to be a kid man
even though im going on 21

i want to go back but i want to be happy and ive always wanted to be myself without any shame. but the problem is i dont know who i am.

and thanks
its funny how the most minute shit will completely fuck up a persons mind if shit happens to them as a kid.
>>
>>26140364
How about instead of circle jerking you post your story
>>
>>26140304
hello Ian
have you got supplies for the happening yet?
>>
>>26140431
Fuck... fine. It'll get detailed and gross, though.

>Be me
>Be 9 years old
>Boys in my class just went throught sex-ed with my male teacher, girls with a female
>Learn that penis is supposed to go into vagina etc.
>A month later is the science fair
>I do my project and attend during the evening
>My mom arranged with my principal to find a teacher who could bring me home after since she had to work, as well as my dad
>My teacher who taught me about sex-ed tells me he was the one who would bring me home
>Fair's done and he says that he needs help cleaning them gymnasium
>Everything's clean and we're both in the supply room storing chairs
>He closes the door behind us and tells me to take off my pants
>"I want to make sure you understand everything I taught you." He says..
>I'm too scared to resist and he starts fondling me
>Tells me I'm a "good boy" and kisses me on the lips
>I try to recoil but he grabs my head
>He gets hot and heavy and sits down on a bench and pulls me on his lap facing towards him
>takes my underwear off, as well as his
>Pulls me up so that my butt is hovering over his cock
>Wets his fingers and sticks them in my butt
>Finishes with that and then slowly guides me down on to his cock
>Fucks me in this position two times while kissing me on the lips and saying he loves me
>Finshes up and brings me to the locker room and cleans me up in the shower
>Brings me home, violated and ashamed
>Face severe depression for the following ten years and don't tell anyone what happened until I'm 14
>Guy is in jail and I've recovered
>>
>>26140424
I don't know if you're the type who assumes they're al just quacks, but I recommend seeing a psychiatrist.
The fact that they keep their personal emotion out of their analysis makes them a lot easier to talk to about your experiences then most. Psychiatry helped me.
>>
>>26140482
Damn I bet you enjoyed it secretly didn't you fucking slut LOL
>>
>>26140545
My body reacted to the stimulation even though I didn't like it, which made me hate myself for the longest time.
>>
>>26139816
Peach brother. Sometimes I scold my friends when they do things wrong but they usually listen. It's never really the other way around because I'm pretty much perfect
>>
>>26139398
>Beaten by mother about once a week until age 15
>Massive nutritional deficit, when I left home I was 5' and weighed 100 lb (currently 6'1" and 150 lb).
>No friends, no social group, placed in spec. ed. classes from first-grade onwards
>Escaped the second I could, bought a greyhound ticket for Los Angeles
>Nobody except for Taco Bell would hire me, and even then I had to duck out back whenever the health inspector showed up b/c underage
>Been mugged three times by gangs of niggers and spics when going to work/home
>Got assaulted by a hobo walking home once, my teeth are now permanently fucked up
>Poor, ugly, uneducated white trash
>Got my GED
>Took an EMT class at my local community college
>Pay bump allowed me to move out of Compton into Long Beach (and you know you're in a really shitty part of LA when moving to Long Beach is seen as a step up)
>Just enrolled at CSULB for a degree in psych so I can work as a spec. ed. teacher
>I am constantly filled with a volcanic rage for everyone around me
>I hate my mother and everyone who stood by but said nothing
>I want to go on a killing spree, but I quietly despair at the fact I won't be able to kill enough people
>>
>>26140482
Yeah that sucks. I didn't have anything traumatic to share but I'm glad you've recovered
>>
>>26140570
Sounds like you're an arrogant prick...
>>
>>26140540
Ive been seeing therapists and pyschs on and off since i was very very young

in fact they dont give a shit about me. i went back to therapy but like. my therapist is a bluepilled as fuck turtleneck wearing mother fucker who i dont relate with at all.. i feel like they dont care and they just want to profit off of your suffering

I aprreciate it but it doesnt work for me

i only see a basic shrink now, and thats mostly just for help with job and financial resources to help me get on my feet
>>
>>26140578
Man, some people should simply not be allowed to have kids...
I can't imagine running away to a huge city at such a young age. That was very brave of you.
>>
>>26140591
Thanks man. Be glad you didn't have anything to share.
>>
>>26140031
fuck off moron
>only i know what depression is DX wah wah
>>
>>26140364
I do think I dramatize sometimes. It's not easy for anyone

>>26140452
Not particularly. Not yet anyway...
>>
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Damn I love reading these threads. They remind me how meager my own abuse was. Growing up I always felt like everyone around me were carefree normies, good to know otherwise. Keep em coming folks.
>>
>>26140641
That really sucks to hear, man.
My psychiatrist would work on his days off in order to make time for me.
I think my story hit him really hard and he cared a lot about me, even though he couldn't show it.
He even stopped charging my parents for sessions after a few months.
>>
>>26140602
Whatever man. Sounds like you're too judgemental
>>
>>26140672
Eh, just ignore him.
I don't know what his problem is.
>>
>>26140568
Yeah, that part isn't something you can control, which sucks. Whenever my mother molested me, she would laugh at me as soon as she could see my boner.
>>
>>26140482
Man that's shitty. Hope things work out for you.
>>
>>26140691
If you are truly intent on going out in a happening, please do it in Germany or Sweden.
They need to wake up.
And don't kill kids like Breivik, it'll just make them martyrs.
>>
>>26140698
Everyone has their problems, and it's all relative to the person.
I'm sure some things, while not as truly serious, made you feel as horrible as I did as a child.
>>
>>26140707
i could have a good therapist if i could afford one

i go to what is the equal to the free clinic for mental patients. they take basic medicaid and i remember for depression we had "group" which consisted of one other person and me in a room where this quack just read coping skills and shit out of an outdated textbook


i just wish someone gave a shit about me man.

people only want to help you if there is something in it for them
>>
>>26140764
it's already happening there actually
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPo9zdepOZg
>>
>>26140735
That's what hit me the hardest, for sure.
It was the fact that I was judging myself for something someone else did to me that caused my depression.
>>
>>26140812
I'm sorry that that's been your experience, buddy.
I'll always be grateful that, despite my abuse, I had a loving family and people who cared about me.
>>
>>26140821
I hated how they reported that as "racist football hooligans attack homeless migrant children".
"Children" my ass!
>>
>>26140646
I had literally nowhere else to go. I was going to kill the bitch, or she was going to kill me. I'm still a little upset because I know my face wouldn't be so fucked up, and I wouldn't've been so short if I'd had better nutrition when I was younger.
>>
>>26140031
Yeah, hate to interrupt your highly intellectually stimulating debate, but your fucking retarded.
>>
>>26140930
yeah, these were grown ass men, hanging out at the station to sexually assault and harass women
it's sad, because I love hanging out at European train stations, but if I went there and did so now, there's a high chance either a migrant or a nationalist would assault me
>>
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>>26140981
>your fucking retarded.

.............................

(fuck le robot)
>>
>>26141025
The propaganda is just ridiculous...
>>
>>26140981
I think he knows that.
>>
>>26141058
thankfully, less and less people are buying it these days. the events of the past few months have shown Europe the truth about Islam and multiculturalism in general
>>
>>26141139
Yeah, even my bleeding heart parents are starting to see it too.
They are both avid Trump supporters now, despite us being Canadian.
>>
>>26141078
Just wanted to make sure he knew
>>
>>26141200
Is your ID true? Because that's pretty fitting if it is.
>>
>>26141235
Yes, ironically I'm also an opiate addict, and afflicted with a varied assortment of mental illnesses.
>>
Some of these stories are so soulcrushing, don't want to single anyone out though, I hope you all find some peace.

I was an only child raised by a single mother who was very violent. She has autism, so it was basically tard rage. When things were good she could go a couple of months without hurting me, but at other times I was being punched, hit and choked on a daily basis. She would make me hug her after she hurt me to say sorry and she would also come into the shower or bath and beat me when I was naked which I'm fairly sure has made me averse to being touched and being naked. I cannot even imagine what actual sexual abuse does to someone.
I was bullied at schoolI deserve it for being an obnoxious weeb. Teachers did not like me because I was seen as intelligent(I'm really not) but not trying. When I was 10 or so I found out what she was doing was illegal and I told her, she handed me the phone and told me I'd get raped in a group home. I stayed quiet. Feeling like I had no one affected me more than the abuse I think. I have a good therapist now. Things are looking up. I still don't really have anyone though.
>>26139687
I also can't talk about the things that happened unless I'm making jokes about it. If you don't laugh you cry and all that.
>>
>>26141297
That's like being a cop who deals coke and rapes women on the side...
>>
>>26141359
I don't deal, but I do grow my own opium poppies and synthesize my own fentanyl. I've never sold a single milligram of the stuff to anyone else, I just don't trust street dealers to give me pure shit.
>>
>>26141332
I'll say it again, I may have experienced physical trauma that was worse than some of these other stories, but at least I had a loving family and people that cared for me to support me...
I'm sorry for you, anon.
>>
>>26141400
Sounds like you have a little production line going for yourself...
The most I know about opium is the episode of Seinfeld when Elaine is suspended from her job because a poppyseed muffin she ate made her come up as an opium addict on a drug test.
>>
>>26141459
That is actually a real thing that happens quite often, there is a decent amount of opiate alkaloids that remain on the seeds even after processing, hence the cultural phenomenon in the eastern hemisphere of poppy seed tea.
>>
>>26141504
Huh...
I'm surprised people would risk it, then.
>>
>>26139919
Your not pathetic. Your strong. You didn't deserve it.
>>
>>26141569
It's not that well known because the poppy seed producers do their best to keep it under wraps, as if it was a well known fact, undoubtedly world governments would cease to allow the production of poppy seeds.
>>
>>26141574
Don't worry, I'm not ashamed of myself anymore.
Thanks for the concern, though. :)
>>
>>26141611
Do the seeds have any sort of hallucinogenic affect like processed opium does?
>>
>>26141677
When consumed in a fairly high quantity, they can produce a high identical to processed opium.
>>
>>26141734
Well, no wonder the try to keep it under wraps then...
>>
ITT: Victim Olympics!
>>
>>26141900
You're hilarious...
>>
I'm glad so many of you decided to share your stories, they always help me get a better perspective on life. Plus I think its good for you too, to be allowed to vent your problems to an audience.
>>
>>26140364
>anyone who harms a child should be thrown in jail
>he molested kids
>>
>>26139398
>mummy spanked and hit me until age 12
>daddy has temper problems but only yells a few times a year
>mutual dislike most of the time
>emotional abuse by brothers (calling me names, being assholes)
>relatively tame, normal stuff


>still ended up an asocial beta weeaboo pedo zoophile freak with "depression" and an abrasive personality
Thread posts: 83
Thread images: 5


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