>she says "I want to kiss you!"
what do you do?
>what kind of faggot asks before they kiss someone? you are so awkward stacey
This. If she has to ask that means you weren't expecting her to be there. Don't be fooled! Mid kiss is when she slips the knife in.
Step away from her
Command her to get naked so I can discard the possibility that she is a trap.
Question her for an hour or two about why she's here
If her reasoning is not satisfying enough kick her out.
Check to see if my wife is in bed
If she's not, carry on as a non-autist would and fuck her right in the pussy
If she is, act freaked out at the intruder, throw her off the bed, shoot her in the face, fuck my wife
>close your eyes first
>headbutt the shit out of here
>heh, nothing personal
>go downstairs and make coffee
>takes under 30 seconds because I have an expensive Keurig machine
>call the cops and inform them of the intruder
>as she's hauled away I give her the finger while sipping on my Starbucks Bright Sky Blend
> take a breath mint from the bedside table (I have these so I don't have to brush my teeth)
> take a condom from the draw (chocolate flavor)
>put on the condom and lay down with my arms by my sides
>say "quit doodlin' lets get noodlin'"
> get to noodlin'
Keep in mind boys if you're ever feeling a little beta, that this guy asked his girlfriend of six months if it'd be okay to hold hands.
Freak out from the intimacy due to my intense social anxiety, and self-conscious paranoia about my morning breath. Quickly back out of the room laughing nervously and mentally blank out until she leaves. What else would someone do?
punch her hard in the face, stomp her neck and skull while she's lying on the floor, rip open her pussy and kick it, bite off her boobs and put her insides in my ass and sqeeze them
>stay there for about 2-3 seconds
>quickly jump and backflip
>kick her in the chin
>tell her to go home and be a family man
>kiss every freckle individually.
>then her lips
>lay her on her back and undress her
>feel her up
>move down her legs and eat her out
>"I love you so much anon. take me now"
i would gladly get herpes to kiss that
who are you and why are you in my house