>wake up >see this >she says "I want to kiss you!"

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>>26130505
>check for girlcock
>404

>>26130505

tell her she's crosseyed and maybe should see a doctor

>>26130505
what kind of faggot asks before they kiss someone? you are so awkward stacey

Back my face away and jump out of bed immediately. I do not know this person and they may give me mouth herpes or ebola. There's just no way to tell.

>>26130505
notice that i amm playing CS and am using her eyes instead of a computer screen

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>>26130505
>roastie herpes
No thanks, missy.

Wake up from this second level inception dream

>>26130534
>what kind of faggot asks before they kiss someone? you are so awkward stacey


This. If she has to ask that means you weren't expecting her to be there. Don't be fooled! Mid kiss is when she slips the knife in.

>>26130547
>playing cs
>sleeping
pick one

>>26130505
>I'm not a race traitor and I don't want any stds.
Then wonder how this person broke into my home or how I ended up outside of mine.

>>26130534
>>26130618
but she asked nothing...

>>26130505
Step away from her
Command her to get naked so I can discard the possibility that she is a trap.
Question her for an hour or two about why she's here
If her reasoning is not satisfying enough kick her out.

>>26130505
who is this cutie?

I kiss her.

>>26130913
>I kiss her.
fucking normie get out of here you cunty dick

Spoiler: she has Chad cum in her mouth.

>>26130956
If she talks while having cum in her mouth it would probably be pretty noticeable m80.

>>26130505
Check to see if my wife is in bed

If she's not, carry on as a non-autist would and fuck her right in the pussy

If she is, act freaked out at the intruder, throw her off the bed, shoot her in the face, fuck my wife

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>sure baby
>close your eyes first
>headbutt the shit out of here
>heh, nothing personal
>go downstairs and make coffee
>takes under 30 seconds because I have an expensive Keurig machine
>call the cops and inform them of the intruder
>as she's hauled away I give her the finger while sipping on my Starbucks Bright Sky Blend

>>26130505
What the fuck are you doing in my house?
>Mom rushes in
Honey you're hallucinating again. I told you not to miss a dose.
>TFW when psychotic

>all this trap hate

how are you even going to tell the difference being virgins and all?

>>26130505
Realise I read the post in the wrong order:

>see this
>she says "I want to kiss you!"
>wake up

Grab my Remington 870 Wingmaster and put a buckshot in the chamber and question her.
If all goes well, do some nasty shit with her.

>>26130550
came in here to say this

>>26130505
How does it feel like to kiss a girl like this?

>>26130505
Tell her to let me get up so I can brush my teeth and kill myself finally

>>26130505
>wonder when my girl's lovely blue eyes turned shitty and green

>>26130505
wake up again because clearly i'm still dreaming

>>26130505
> take a breath mint from the bedside table (I have these so I don't have to brush my teeth)
> take a condom from the draw (chocolate flavor)
>put on the condom and lay down with my arms by my sides
>say "quit doodlin' lets get noodlin'"
> get to noodlin'

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>>26130534
Keep in mind boys if you're ever feeling a little beta, that this guy asked his girlfriend of six months if it'd be okay to hold hands.

ASKED.

I would kill for a girl like this. The fact that she's a little cross eyed makes her even cuter.

Freak out from the intimacy due to my intense social anxiety, and self-conscious paranoia about my morning breath. Quickly back out of the room laughing nervously and mentally blank out until she leaves. What else would someone do?

>realize I'm not a Chad
>realize this can't be happening
>wake up

kiss her and hope her breath doesn't smell

>>26130505
Back away because I'm saving my first kiss for my girlfriend.

I fucking hate wake up kissing.

Whilst I've got morning breath, I don't want to kiss anyone. I'm dirty in the mornings, I need to clean before I'm with anyone.

>>26130531
Lot of people are that way

You haven't noticed it yet?

I haven't brushed my teeth in like a week, hold on...

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no thanks, she is actually one of these

I refuse because my teeth are disgusting.

>>26130505
>Ok, it s all your skinny body is good for anyway.

>>26130550
What was first level?

>>26130550
This desu, man/woman whom I consider to be like family even though I'm not related to them

>>26130505
punch her hard in the face, stomp her neck and skull while she's lying on the floor, rip open her pussy and kick it, bite off her boobs and put her insides in my ass and sqeeze them

>>26130505
>check for penis
>violently inseminate

Palm-strike that hoe and call the cops.
Fucking rapist.

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>crouch down
>stay there for about 2-3 seconds
>quickly jump and backflip
>kick her in the chin
>tell her to go home and be a family man

>>26130505
if she's that close I'd probably punch her in the face. I can't help it I'm autistic

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>>26130505
>kiss every freckle individually.
>then her lips
>make out
>lay her on her back and undress her
>feel her up
>move down her legs and eat her out
>"I love you so much anon. take me now"

>wake up
>cry

>>26130505
Is that dried cum on her mouth lol

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>>26130548
i would gladly get herpes to kiss that

>>26130505
probably lie there, somewhat taken aback
then as I realise what's going on, ask her who she is and what's she's doing there

>>26130505
Ask her to replace a broken window or a broken front door since those would be the only means of entry

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She has nice tits famala

Original smdh

>>26130505
NOT WITH THOSE DRY LIPS HONEY

>flip my cape over my shoulder
>run out of the room with my fist balled and arm extended in front of me

>>26130505
I let love in

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>>26132264
hello demo senpai.

>>26130548
Her lips are just chapped you sperg

>>26130505
I'd Wonder if this is some kind of prank but roll with it anyway

>>26131109
This.
Fuckin roasties so full of themselves that they think they can just break into our house if they want us.

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>>26130505
who are you and why are you in my house