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>eat old, spoiler food
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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>eat old, spoiler food
>take that future me

Post your ideas for fucking with future you.
Anyone found a way to troll a past yourself?

>not eating instant noodles

do u even 4chan?
>start good habits
>fall back into shitty habits

heh.. nothing personal, myself
>fap on the bed with a legs in the air
>cum on your face
enjoy that facial future me
I will make you gay
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Step aside, master of future self trolling coming through.
Sometimes I run out of toilet papey, get drunk and then pretend I went to the store to get more.
When the sun, annoyingly early, wakes me at 2pm and I have inevitable diarrhoea the jokes on me.
Get blacked out drunk and hide beer from yourself. I do it all the time when I'm blacked out, it's like alcoholic Easter all year round.
>have to get up early in the morning for dumb shit
>stay up until the early morning watching anime instead
>leave a note on my bedside table telling future me that he should take this as a harsh lesson the the toughness of reality
>eat a lot of good food
>push a fingers into my throat
>throw up everything
>future me is still hungry

This guy must have a hell of a fun with me
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>liver hurts like shit
>go downstairs and spend tons of money on alcohol anyways
>drink heavily even though I work tomorrow
>wake up hungover with extreme pain in my liver
>didn't even do laundry so my uniform is still filthy from the day before
I sure trolled myself. Really though, future me is piece of fucking shit. He's never done anything for me, meanwhile I do everything for him.
>fuck a girlfriend
>dont pull it out
>cum inside

I fucked future me for a 20 years straight
Dropping out of school is one of the biggest trolls I've pulled.
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>ate raw meat
>didn't even get ill

Absolute madman
>30$ in the bank
>life is shit
>no job
>get drunk
>remain drunk the entire day
>get fucked up at night
>wake up feeling horrible

hehe. Yesterday me sure got me, didn't he?
It's just a prank though. No bad feelings.
>have to wake up tomorrow morning early for work
>drink myself to sleep far too late
>wake up with throbbing headache and hungover

take that asshole
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Who does these comics?
>going to meet drug dealer in an hour
>give the police an anonymous tip about the deal

Future me is in for it now
>plan to buy shotgun and blow my brainsteam out
>future me will no longer have a head
Haha take that you cuck
>dream about girl every night for 2 years
>never talk to her even though she likes me
In 50 years my future self will be assmad for all the missed opportunities and absent memories, old cunt's gonna feel like a retard for wasting his prime life smoking weed on 4chan.
>implying your future son/daughter won't be a NEET loser and stay at home until he/she is 30 and then kill themselves
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>Don't listen to advice
>Become narcissist
>Put minimum effort into all endeavours
>Put no effort into friendships and fuck people over
>Never eat healthily
I'm playing the long game.
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>boss calls, asking if I can work that nightshift from 18-3.
>sure why not

Have fun, future me :)
>kitchen full of qwiso wash, trash and full trays
>close all windows,lock doors
>fall asleep watching cross ange
I've never done a wash this big before. Hopefully die from alcohol fumes.

Food poisoning is a meme.

I grew up in a household where everyone was paranoid about getting food poison and dying. Parents, grandparents, even cousin, aunts, and uncles.

I get to get uni and bring home food from cafeteria and it sits on my desk a few hours to a couple days and I eat it without problem. I've even eaten 3 day old taco bell and didn't have so much as an increase in ass gas. Now I don't give a shit. If it smells fine and tastes fine then it is fine. Even on molded food like break or fermented vegetables I just scrape/scoop out the moldy shit and chow down. Sometimes if it's really bad the whole thing tastes funny but if it's just a smallish patch It's usually not different tasting enough to bug me. Under cooked meat and raw eggs are memes too. I eat rare steak, rare hamburger meat, raw eggs in my smoothies, shakes, and even some cocktails,about the only thing I don't like rare is chicken because it has a really weird texture. Mostly that's with breast though. I eat under cooked chicken thigh and while the texture is not as good as all the way cooked it's not bad enough for me to give a shit. I'd rather food be under cooked than overcooked. Vegetables are the same way. My family would boil vegetables and season them so they taste as bad as possible. I prefer to roast or steam my vegetables and season them to taste good instead of bad. It's so much better than some vaguely vegetal mush. I thought I hate broccoli, brussel sprouts, and asparagus. They're now my favorite vegetables. Kale and spinach too, but I don't roast those, I saute in lard or suet just until they lose some rigidity but are otherwise still pretty not overcooked to hell and back.

The only time I did get sick was from eating a bag of boiled peanuts I forgot about in my car and left in dixie's summer heat for 4 days. They were fucking delicious but I spent the next two days puking nonstop. I still fucking love boiled peanuts though. I just limit it to three days now.
>teeth hurt whenever I eat sweets


You're fucking hardcore bro. I'm so far on the other end of that. I don't even let food get past the point where it grows mold if it's old enough where I can surmise that it could have potentially grown mycellial structures that shits a no go. The fuzz is just the cums from the inside fungus.

>I just limit it to three days now
people forget that for thousands of years sanitation wasnt something that existed

we can eat it raw, or cooked, but cooked food is more nutritious for some reason
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