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>public speaking class
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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>public speaking class
>2 min self introduction speech tomorrow.

i literally want to die.
This is what i have so far

>There hasn't been anything tragic in my life. I haven't lost a close family member or a friend or even a pet, they've usually just run off and i guess died.

i thought the pet thing would get a few people to laugh. then im going to build off of that and say how thats shaped me to being the person i am today......
I know it seems like a lot but 2 minutes will go by really quickly

also, volunteer to go first so that you can sit back and relax while the rest of the class is sweating their speech
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yeah i realize i need to just pace myself and go really really slow.

do you think i should just come up with one of these kinds of speeches? it was the example one he posted. problem is i dont have any hobbies like that.
Did sensei not give you any sort of guidelines at all? If true, then that's fucking dumb. Here's some help:
>Hello, my name is [your name here]
>I'm [age], a [year-name] in college, and am majoring in [your degree field]
>My hobbies include [pick 3]
>From here, talk incessantly for the remaining 1:48 about one of those hobbies, thus taking the attention off you

>Alternate route:
>this is my girlfriend [see pic]
>her name is Megumin
>she's a high-level mage that specializes in explosion magic and nothing else
>[prattle on about her for the next 1:45]
*notices I'm panting and ceases* S-sorry, don't take that alternate route...I'm a little obsessed w/ this super awesome chuuni mage...gosh, I want to sit in the bar & drink w/ her all day long! Aa, zokuzoku...

Hope this helps!
yeah theres a outline-like structure i need to follow. thesis paragraph, then two supporting points, then the conclusion.

i dont want to talk about a waifu infront of the class.........
I'll tell you what they told me my first day of speech class.
You don't look or sound as bad as YOU think, it's true. So relax.
Just remember every person in that room has to pee and gets embarrassing explosive diarrhea same as you.
Heh. Yeah, don't take my alternate route. I got a little carried away w/ her. Fuck, she's awesome!

With that simple outline, I could easily write/speak about my gaming hobby w/ that. Could even make the whole thing about my days on Runescape.

Think of a hobby/interest you have that has improved you (in any sense of the word), or taught you something valuable.
>speech class this semester
>have had two classes and had to talk in front of the class both days
>there's a fat SJW feminist that just LOVES public speaking (even spoke in front of a crowd of 34,000 people once!!!) in my class and is constantly talking about herself
It's already my least favorite class by far I wanna kill myself every time I walk in there
Man i can't speak in front of people

i just get nervous as fuck

>nah bro just calm down, breathe..
fuck off. never tell this shit. it doesn't work

Back in highschool i had to explain some stuff in front of my class and my legs were literally shaking

I really hate when it happens, although people seem to forget....
Terrible advice, everyone will remember the first one the most
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>10 page speech due in less than a week
>absolutely nothing done yet
I remember planning days and days on this project for class, really nailed it down in how I was going to present it, even had this little mini class engagement activity worked in.

I go up to present and im standing there and my mind goes blank for a solid 10 seconds, then i cough and it feels like my throat is on fire and i just mumble gibberish for 5min then sit back down.

this. everybody pays attention to the first 5 or so. do yours in the middle
>tfw I have a latent ability to speak clearly and calmly when I'm put in front of people
>still struggle with one on one conversation and still want to kill myself whenever I have to do a speech or anything
>10 page

how many minutes faggot
however long it takes me to read it
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Okay here is what i've got so far

>There hasn't been anything tragic to happen in my life. I haven't lost a close family member or a friend or even a pet, they've usually just run off and died i guess. Nothing really bad has happened to me. And I think that's a bad thing.
Thesis: Living a life without tragedy has made me a bit more selfish and unwilling to change.

.... then my supporting paragraphs are going to be about how im selfish and unwilling to change............

this is bad right.
We literally just had self-introduction speechs in this shitty comm class I have to take to transfer.

>some girl walks up for hers
>says her name, then immediately transitions into cringeworthy story
>says that she was bullied for seven years by some girls that were pretending to be her friends
>claims that they would beat her up and call her a whore and a slut, and that they're going to the same college
>says that she feels so ugly and lonely and that she's hasn't been happy in years, when I saw flirting with some chads in the class a couple days ago
>immediately some guy pipes up
>"girl, they're right. You're not pretty. You're BEAUTIFUL"
>everyone immediately goes AWWWHHH and compliments her on how she's so pretty and perfect
>she says thank you with that twinkle in her eyes, as if she was planning this for attention all along
>goes on to say something fucking weird
>"Yeah, my bullies are actually at my next class at 12, and im kinda scared to go :("
>a bunch of people start saying that we should teach them a lesson before the professor shuts them up and tells her to sit down because the 2 minutes are up
>everyone after class is kissing her ass, including some skinnyfat beta that she ignored

I hate this bitch so much

How can I cause some mischief?
Hello everyone, my name is anon. I'm a freshman/sophomore/whatever and I'm majoring in ____ because I want to someday ____. I'm from [insert place]. The things I like to do in my spare time are: list off some stuff. Two minutes will go by super quick, anon, I promise. Basically what >>26098723 said.
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>10 page
You know your professor is an asshole when s/he assigns you an essay with page count instead of a word count.
(Pic related: your professor)
Wait till it's her part in the school play, then dump a bucket filled with your seed on her from the stage rafters.

Literally works every single time.
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Add a corny joke or something funny that relates to what you're talking about. When I gave a speech that had more than 1 person, I always made different pitch voices purposefully bad. I was able to relax a little
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