Does anyone else feel like they're slowly detaching from reality?
I'm starting to look at things so abstractly and can't seem to hear what people are saying anymore. Is this normal as you get older?
>first guy i see literally wears a fedora and has a beard
>okay now, its just a guy, nothing bad, forget what the internet told you
>go to supermarket
>fucking turks and their shitty children fucking around
>homeless people screaming
>dudebros for some reason spitting all over the street in front the store
>cant go to mall because bomb threats
>get back home and realize livelihood at stake because state does not want to give me money for my dead parent and my mom wants to leave the country; no friends no where to go, oh, i want to be sedated
real word is for nerds
Yesterday, my toilet was doing that water running sound like after it flushes and it kept sounding like my sister had the TV on. I swear I could hear a voice speaking to an audience but the closer I got to it, the more it became running water. The farther I would get, the more I would "tune in."
Shit was weird
all the things that happen to me have no effect on me. It feels almost like i'm watching a bad tv show or a movie of my life. It's very boring and i don't feel anything when things happen to the character.
I don't think about anything i do, things people tell come in from one ear and immediatly come out from the other.
Sometimes i like to imagine i'm invisible, like some kind of ghost or something
I can relate to most of posts here:
>whenever talking to someone, I cannot remember what is that we're talking about, sometimes I don't hear them at all, just see their lips moving.
>when sitting in closed space, all the walls feel like they're made from paper, like there's nothing behind them
>looking out of window feels like looking into other realm of reality
I also stopped eating and drinking, I'm not hungry.
Nothing entertains me, everything seems like it's going to disappear in a few seconds.
I even stopped talking to myself, my head feels completely empty.
I had all these symptoms you guys are describing, then it developed into full-blown schizophrenia. I have to be on a huge dose of anti-psychotics now.
There's not a lot of evidence that says early detection has any bearing on the development of the illness, so just wait until you start hallucinating and having delusions until you see a doctor. You don't want to be on neuroleptics, they're horrible.
How socially withdrawn are you? I know this is /r9k/, but that's the most prominent symptom of prodomal schizophrenia. It's almost identical to autism, you don't know how to use words correctly and you don't have much desire to hold any relationships. All the symptoms you've described are warning signs of psychosis too, where things around you seem changed or unreal. Not eating or taking care of yourself is a sign things are escalating, watch out for how much you're sleeping too. Insomnia usually strikes right before a psychotic episode.
Many people just have schizo traits though, it's not necessarily an indicator that it's gonna get full-blown. Schizophrenia is most likely a collection of several illnesses, some of which may be present and some which might not.
>you don't know how to use words properly
>no desire to hold relationships
I also started drugs, weed, shrooms, meth and ecstasy. I'll be getting LSD and heroine in a few weeks.
Is it a good idea?
Probably not, but nobody's gonna stop you. I use drugs sometimes, they're a coping mechanism for me. Many schizos have a drug addiction. Also, 80% of schizos smoke, so that's another indicator if you do too.
On the contrary I feel as if I can understand reality far more effectively than I ever could previously. Once you pierce through the foggy bits of blame, strong emotions, and some forms of fear you can see the end goals far better.
This thread is really scaring me
Is it possible that symptoms like this could be linked to bipolar disorder?
I'm chronically depressed and have been diagnosed with avpd. Strange thing is that avpd makes me very conscious about everything and thus I'm a master at reading/faking body language. Whenever I go out and interact with strangers my mind is set on their behaviour and speaking.
What makes me depressed though is knowing that I'm good looking and tall and receiving lots of female attention, but too beta/disgusted by women who treated me like shit when I was young to do something about it.
I'm an arrogant fuck towards women and a bro towards men.
Personally, whenever I'm in any conversation at all I just smile and try to answer with simple phrases that I think fit the convo. Most of the time It's like I space out mid conversation and don't even know what they where talking about anymore. I'm also in a presistent feeling of emptiness inside, and I don't ever feel emotions anymore, and nothing whatsoever brings me pleasure anymore. It's like I have transcended the world of physical desires, and deeply long for something more real. It all feels like a big fucking act, and I can see straight through peoples charade of a personality. It all just feels so goddamn fake. Where the fuck did it all go so fucking wrong, holy shit.
It really sounds like you're developing schizophrenia. All the things you're describing are symptoms, from the emotionlessness to the lack of focus to the withdrawal from reality. Watch out for that longing for something real, that's how delusions start. You start building your own alternate reality that makes more sense to you than the real reality. My delusions started when I got really into the paranormal and religion. I would hide from everyone and spend all day reading. Eventually the books started giving me clues and hidden messages, and I started noticing coincidences everywhere, and then I felt like I had a special connection with God and that he was guiding me to do all this crazy shit.
>It really sounds like you're developing schizophrenia.
I don't know about that, a lot of that post seems pretty rational to me. When you look at human society as an outsider, it will seem objectively fake. The problem with most people is they can't see the true relationship between their actions, their environment, and other people. A thought as simple as I act and I react is totally foreign to the majority, deaf to the heartbeat of the world.
What the hell. I'm experiencing all of this over the past year. Just recently I have been having trouble sleeping and I wake up hour to hour thinking about literal nonsense like im in another universe. Or I wake up and things just repeat in my head over and over again.
I've been depressed for a while and haven't had any friends to talk to for 3 years. (Moved state to state because military guardian)
Sometimes I hear voices (like my mother calling my name when shes not even there).
I feel like its getting worse over the months.
I find my self staring blank without thinking. I don't notice it before but one time I pored glass of water and looked out the window while drinking only when I finished drinking I realized that window blinders were closed. It happens while I watch tv, eat, ride buss like completely blank
These are also signs of depersonalization. Extreme depression can give you depersonalization.
Could be psychotic depression, where your depression is so severe you start showing signs of psychosis. I don't think depression always has to be severe to cause psychosis though, I think some people are just genetically susceptible to it. Go see a doctor before you get yourself killed or put others in danger. Anti-psychotics are a pain in the ass, but they do help most of the symptoms once you're on them for a bit.
I've started noticing that everyone I speak to face-to-face seems to be looking at me with a look of disgust. Not sure if that's a disconnect or if I'm just really ugly though.
I'm scared. What do I do?
I think video games had a play in this. Sometimes when in recall playing video games I remember it as if I were inside the game, like there was nothing outside of it. I was playing 5-8 hours a day without sometimes
Just have a good wank this clears out your mind from bullshit and makes you focus on the comfy and pleasurable things in life, it's like giving your brain a good friendly slap and it's like yeah i'll cut the crap out now thanks for letting me shed these hormones via jizzing
God, this whole thread really scares me. Does it get worse? Is there any chance it just disappears?
Depends what's causing it. Schizophrenia is a lifelong illness, as are the rest of the various schizo-spectrum illnesses, you basically have to be on high-dose neuroleptics your whole life. Psychotic depression gets better once your mood episode is finished, could be a year or two at the most. It's very likely that you'll relapse into another episode though. Bipolar is lifelong, but there are periods of normalcy and it's very responsive to medication.
The short answer is if you're ever psychotic, there's always a strong chance of becoming psychotic again. It's genetic, if you're susceptible then it's common to have multiple episodes. You gotta stay away from stressors or be on medication to make sure it stays away. Some stressors include: family troubles, work troubles, relationship troubles, insomnia, working the night shift (my doc told me schizos should never work the night shift), and being alone for extended periods of time.
Is it just me who thinks this is really vague?
You're seeing things abstractly? Could you elaborate a bit on that? Perhaps an example or two? Not trying to be a dick or anything, I'm genuinely curious. What exactly do you mean when you say you can't hear what people are saying, also?
Not very high, but it's around a 10% chance. It's very common for relatives of schizos to be on the low-end of the schizo-spectrum though. Many famous people were related to schizos, like Albert Einstein or James Joyce. There was a study, maybe I'll be able to find it, where schizophrenics, people related to schizophrenics, and people unrelated to schizophrenics took a creativity test. Schizophrenics and people unrelated both scored the same, but people related scored much higher than everyone else. It's likely that some schizo traits are evolutionarily beneficial, it's only when you display all of them that it's a negative thing.
second guessing coincidences are mere coincidences fucking society cuck people called you crazy so you believed them and dismissed your own unique interpretation of reality as delusions fucking cuck go get a job
I dealt with this about a year ago. I got sick and needed surgery about a year ago which causes me to have to quit my job because it was labor intensive. I ended up starting my own business so I could work from home. My wife has to travel a lot for her job, so she's gone about 3 weeks out of the month. So I spent the better part of a year in my apartment, with little to no contact with anyone. The first time I left the house was to go to Disney World with my wife's family. I'm not sure what it was, but as soon as I got around that many people I lost my hearing and my ears started ringing, and I got this unsettling feeling of being uncomfortable in my own skin. Exactly like it feels when you take mushrooms and they start to kick in. I lasted an hour before I had to leave. After that, anytime I was in any place with any number of people, I would experience the same thing, unless I was at home. I would get tunnel vision, loss of hearing, extreme paranoia. I forced myself to go outside more, and interact with people, and it slowly went away. I talked to a friend of my mine who is a psychologist about it after it started to go away. She said it's the same thing prisoners get when their in solidarity confinement.
You know how one of the autism signs is that you ask another question or say something before they finish their sentence? basically you interrupt someone.
For me it's like this. When I'm talking the a person I don't know well I have hard time to maintain eye contact and I'm trying to make conversation as unakward as possible. So I'm coming up with things to say while other person is talking, so I'm not listening to them, and when I know what to say I'll say it while that person is still talking.
It's possible to control if you can notice it, but it's just so natural like I lose control of myself when I'm talking to someone.
I'm not sure about the abstract thing
You guys are just welcoming insanity by painting it as a thing you can't control.
You can drive yourself insane, and a lot of you guys seem to be actively doing this.
I'm telling you: eventually you will break and either get bored of your weird mental state or go get drugs for it. But then you have a drug dependence to stay sane, which is basically gg on the whole life thing.
My advice, stop viewing the insanity as something cool or interesting, start viewing it as something that will hold you back as a person, which it absolutely will.
Speaking from experience here
>work as programming intern full time
>spend all my time programming or learning about programming
>can't interact with people except when it's about programming
>dreams are processed on the heap
>stop going to gym
>stop watching anime
>cooking for myself less and less
>read github while waiting for food to come at restaurants
>listen to MIT's SICP lectures on my phone when walking to work
I have entered the matrix
Stop secluding yourself, start taking care of your body. Sleep 8 hrs, eat 3 meals, get some exercise in. Make some friends, hang out with them. Just go out for long walks every couple of days. Humans are meant to socialize and be around other people, things start to get screwy if they don't. Some people just have schizo traits, those are genetic, but whether they develop full-blow schizophrenia depends a lot on environmental factors.
Embrace your condition and try making some art. Art is great therapy, even if you can't do anything try coloring. Psych wards always have coloring books because it's very cathartic. I myself just got through a difficult psychotic episode, and I'm recovering by recording a concept album loosely based on my experience.
I dealt with it by listening to John Cena's entrance music on repeat through my headphones while running though my neighborhood butt ass naked with my flaccid penis flapping back in forth in the wind til the cops pick me up, and take me back to jail.
i'm not one who sticks to "inspirational" quotes or anything like that, but someone made a post on 4chan a while back that said "motivation is bullshit. discipline is what matters." it's one of those things that subtly changed how i lived my life. i feel more mindful of my procrastination and i've been doing much better coping with the workload of university.
i just wanted to add this because maybe it will do the same thing for someone else who feels like a victim of their own mind. waiting until you feel motivated is just an excuse to put it off. forcing yourself to do something because it needs to be done, even when you don't feel like it, helps everything.
Anyone considering drugs dont do it. Someone mentioned seeking some H. I started doing opiates over 5years ago and now its a bitch to let go. DONT DO IT they only help at first and then it becomes hell. Opiates in particular make you more depressed as time goes by, despite really helping at first. Eventually you're going to be sitting there withdrawing, depressed, and craving to get more so you can feel "normal". You faggots need to smoke some chron chron and go outside more, and get a job you'll feel better being around people.
>have terrible AvPD and am terrified of people and going outside
>my only wish is to become detached from reality so that at least I won't feel scared anymore
How do I do it, bros? I've tried tons of antidepressants but all they did was give me mood swings and break my dick. I want to zone out when people are talking to me and not care about anything going on around me. Is it doable?
Just let yourself go on autopilot. It gets easier the more you do it. I'm schizo, and whenever things happen to me that should evoke powerful emotions, I feel absolutely nothing, go mute, and have a thousand yard stare. I learned how to do that from years of abuse. Not too sure if it's from the schizo, something I've taught myself, or a mixture of both.
My mother is a schizo too. And her brothers were pretty crazy
I'm pretty smart too (no bragging, we're all anon)
>Italian terrone poorfag
>can speak French, English, Latin and Japanese
>never liked studying
>my teacher always told me I had a "special" brain
>unfortunately started hanging out with the wrong crowd at 15
>smoking, drinking and doing drugs
>i don't know how, but i managed to do 5 years of high school privately condensed in one
>go to uni for Modern Languages (i know, no jobs, but I was okay at it)
>top of class
>win scholarships, full ride
>go to Japan for 6 months, all paid
>meet an kiwi chick there that thinks I'm the second coming of Christ
>move to NZ after I graduate with distinction
>she makes me become a full wagecuck
>start feeling dumber and dumber by the second
>isolated, no friends
>start having weird thoughts, feeling like I have no control over anything
>literally making elaborate plans about my life 24/7
>4chan all the time, start getting chubby
>after two years of this shit, she breaks up with me
>I'm back to Italy at my parents house
>visit my old friends but I feel like I'm in a jar
>can see right through everybody's bullshit
>full self-awareness achieved, but very depressed
I'm stuck now, I feel like I have to take a decision before my genetics cuck me. The latent schizo in me is knocking...
Holy shit I fucked up so much
I cucked myself so much already
I could have done so much more
I was the best in my whole department at uni
God have mercy
I wasted it all on a dumb bitch
I lost myself
This shit started happening to me when I was taking A LOT of LSD, honestly its kinda hard to relate to people now a days. I like to spend time in my room alone alot more than I used to. Shits getting a little better though since ive cut back on the drugs, but holy fuck for a while I was fucking gone.
I'm the guy you were responding to here. I'd say that you should stop romanticizing insanity. Stop viewing it as something interesting or cool. Also, stop viewing it as something beyond your control. Pretty soon you'll get over it.
i can vouch for this anon.
motivation is a 50/50. it can work on some people, but change absolutely nothing for [us] robots. so if you're like most of us in this thread, killing yourself or disciplining yourself are your options
I'm pretty far gone. I have to really concentrate when people speak because i sometimes have a difficult time understanding what they're saying. like the words get jumbled up in my head or something. it's hard to describe.
it's really bad with people who have accents, I have to constantly ask them to repeat what they say because I just can't fucking understand them and I don't like asking them to repeat things because they might find it insulting
>I'm starting to look at things so abstractly and can't seem to hear what people are saying anymore. Is this normal as you get older?
It's because you're so self-obsessed and preoccupied with your own 'problems' that you're refusing to actively pay attention. Pay attention!
You all are insane faggots who suck a million dicks a day, and save all the cum in jars to drink, and pour all over your naked bodies, and your mom's fake tits. You're all a bunch of cucks!!!
I feel you. But I'm not disgusted by women, it's more like I don't have the motivation to chase them and when they approach I cut the ties real quick.
>went on a date with a female friend of a friend
>"Just returning a favor"
>she was totally in to me
>would have made a good gf
>i never responded to her messages
>cried like a little bitch the whole night after the date
I should seek professional help
Every time I look around it has this weird hyperrealistic feel to it sort of like a soap opera. If I hear groups of people laughing it sounds like some kind of fake laugh track or something.I don't really experience emotions other than anxiety and what I can only describe as a rare, periodic crushing sadness. I constantly spend time fantasizing about what my life would be if I was someone else, and if people start talking to me it takes me a few seconds to snap out of that fantasy. What is happening?
I'm in Uni and I haven't found any friends.
If I feel like this usually it's because I haven't been well or enough and haven't been outside in a couple days. Do you have a local deli or coffee shop or something that serves food and lets people linger? GTreat yourself to coffee and lunch and an hour or two of reading (no computer!) once or twice a week, it does more good than you might expect and if you become a regular you might even make some friends there.
you seee!!! this is why we need and original /depression/ or /wiz/ board
where the fucking normies stay the fuck away!!!!
anyway op yeah
In many ways I feel the same robot... it sucks.... you NEED to read a lot or talk to somebody ... go out a little bit..... or you gonna feel like everything but you are shit
just like stan in south park.... trust me.
sometimes you are gonna think that the whole world is a giant piece of shit...
you need to keep your sanity ... .
Have a degree, have friends, been applying for jobs for months, the consistent failure is becoming too much. Would rather kill myself than go back to wageslaving after finishing school.
This guy nailed it.
You may not become an S class normie but the more you pay attention the better you get at handling the world. Its like math; the less you pay attention, the more the numbers look like abstract dumb symbols.
Like any other skill it develops or deteriorates.
I also have some knowledge of that sentiment,opening post.
Seriously,some times I just feel like I am on the fucking matrix or one giant prank where everyone is just playing their roles.It's not that I don't even bother tough,I just laugh it out when something happens like I was expecting and people are surprised or take it too seriously.
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore myself,guess I'll just power through
Started last August, didn't meet anyone there for the whole semester, and this semester is about two weeks in with the same amount of luck.
Just for clarification, while I am the one who replied with the pic, I am not the initial person you were replying to.
>really miss the 2000's for some reason
>was an outcast all through out school except for one stacy stoner friend who used me as an emotional tampon
>still innocent, clueless and happy the whole time
Strange how the pull for me to listen to 2000's music and watch anime from that era grows stronger while it only drifts further away
Have you tried talking to those who have sit next to you? If you don't know anyone, then finding someone who does and who accepts you is your ticket to freedom. If you talk to someone and they don't like you, then you're not in any worse shape then you are now.
>have you tried talking to those who have sit next to you
Yes, but I have not found anyone who has yet shared my autistic obsession with history.
>then you're not in any worse shape then you are now
It has been shown that social rejection can take great emotional toll.
Yeah, there's probably multiple genetic causes for both schizophrenia and bipolar, and they're by no means exclusive from each other. There was a recent finding that schizophrenics' brains have an overactive neuron-link trimming gene, e.g. the links between your neurons get clipped too much. I think it's responsible for all the negative symptoms, like muteness, poverty of thought, and social seclusion. It's my theory that there's also an overactive neuron-link creating gene too, because schizophrenics have an ability to free-associate and think very abstractly. So do people with bipolar during manic/hypomanic episodes, there's an overwhelming number of creative people with bipolar. There are some differences, for example, bipolar and schizophrenia act heavily on different hemispheres of the brain. I don't know how true the right-brain/left-brain theory is, but bipolar acts on the "creative" hemisphere while schizophrenia acts on the "logical" hemisphere.
I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 before they rediagnosed me with schizophrenia. I think I show aspects of both illnesses. I've had a lot of manic episodes, but they don't last very long for me. But they're so wonderful, I have all this creative energy and I become convinced I have a special bond with God. The depression that always follows them is always awful. Some people think depression in bipolar patients is the brain's way of "resting" from all that time spent without sleeping. It might also be because your brain slowly gets used to all the dopamine running through you, and once it's sucked out you have a withdrawal.
I dunno, I find madness really fascinating and I started spending lots of time reading about it once I got diagnosed. I could go on and on about it. I have a few neurology textbooks that I want to read through. I've read Foucault and Lacan too, I think their theories of madness are really fascinating. I'm manic right now, which should be obvious.
>people from different social circle keep telling me I'm the nicest person they have ever met
>I get really uncomfortable when they say that,like I'm not doing anything extraordinary or went out of my way to be nice to them
I'm just true neutral really,sometimes chaotic neutral even,but it feels like I'm doing something wrong for not being more self centered.like I'm wasting my energy on everyone so no one,family,friends,romantic ones,bother to really have a relationship to me in a meaningful level since I threat them live everyone else.
There are people who enjoy history as much as you do. I am what you guys call a normie, and I love history. Social rejection can take emotion toll on you if you're a pussy. Stay strong, and push yourself. You got this, bro.
>there are people who enjoy history as much as you do
After a full semester of going to History club meetings and trivia night, and Honors' History, I am beginning to doubt it, apart from the professors, who I get along with well.
>if you're a pussy
Says the guy who has probably lived a normal social life.
Well, damn, man. Maybe try to look elsewhere for friends in your other classes. Yes, I must say I have been blessed with good looks so I fit in most anywhere (as fucked up as that is). To be honest, I'd like to be your friend. What's a way I could contact you?
I feel this a lot. I feel like I'm on the edge of schizophrenia or something but haven't gotten there yet. I don't feel a whole lot of emotion, don't react to loud noises/sudden stimuli, have a "school shooter" face or thousand yard stare, have lost my sense for humor. I believe completely that what I'm experiencing isn't real and that it's some kind of movie screen or television pulled over my eyes. Have had panic attacks because of this unreal feeling. Feel incredibly uncomfortable when people discuss me in a non-superficial way, but feel incredibly lonely and wish I had a girlfriend. Take wellbutrin for depression, but it's not completely effective. I don't know what's real and what isn't.
Yep, that'll do it. There's too much dopamine in your brain, and that's why you start showing psychotic symptoms. Be careful with that shit, man. I've gone on some pretty crazy stim benders in my time too. Make sure you get some sleep, never stay up for more than two days. Sleep deprivation can cause mania and psychosis in healthy people.
Here's another fun fact about schizophrenia, since I know everyone's really interested in my medical knowledge and begging for more. Schizophrenics have less 5-HT2A serotonin receptors in their brains, which results in a higher serotonin-to-serotonin-receptor ratio. Basically, because there's more serotonin than there are respective receptors, they get activated more often. You know what drugs hit the 5-HT2A receptor too? Psychedelics, like LSD and shrooms. Unmedicated schizophrenics are basically tripping balls without any help from external drugs. Many schizophrenics report the heightened sense of touch, smell, and sight that you get with psychedelics. Newer anti-psychotics block the 5-HT2A receptor to stop it from being activated.
Dissociatives also cause schizophrenic symptoms in sane people. Scientists actually use dissociatives to mimic schizophrenia in animals. Dissociatives affect the glutamate system, so there's evidence that that's responsible for some of the symptoms too.
As you can see, schizophrenia has a wide range of causes. There are disruptions in the dopamine, serotonin, and glutamate systems, and the sleep system is also affected. Bipolar has similar chemical disruptions in the dopamine and serotonin systems. I've read theories about mania being caused by a failure of the brain's sleep-wake cycle. And I know first-hand that dissociatives can cause mania, so maybe the glutamate system's involved there too. So it's my theory that there are multiple causes of both illnesses. Bipolar and schizophrenia both exist on a spectrum, and you can have aspects of either one.
I think the difference between the two is that there are disruptions in different parts of the brain. Like I said before, they affect different hemispheres. Thus it's entirely possible to have aspects of both illnesses.
Anyways, I think you're all overreacting a bit. Many of you are showing schizoid traits, but you don't have to worry about it unless you start hallucinating and having delusions. That's when the illness actually starts, whether it's bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. I would recommend looking up schizotypal or schizoid personality disorder. Most people with schizotypal/schizoid do not develop full-blown schizophrenia. If you're gonna worry, you should look out for major changes in your personality, a lack of sleep, and an inability to function at school/work; these are huge signals that something in your brain's chemistry is off. Many of you have been showing schizo symptoms for an extended amount of time, which isn't cause for alarm. You know you're entering a psychotic episode when you're experiencing big changes in behavior.
But (here's a big but), if these symptoms are stopping you from functioning, you should definitely see a doctor. Anything that makes it difficult for you to live your life is a sign of a disorder, that has to be medicated. Most likely you will be given an anti-psychotic. Be careful with these, they can turn you into a zombie. I would recommend Abilify or Geodon, they're both more stimulating; Abilify activates the dopamine receptors to a small degree, while Geodon works as a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor. Because they're more stimulating, there are less of the sluggish, too-sleepy-to-function symptoms that other anti-psychotics give. Abilify also has powerful antidepressant effects. But each brain is different, so you just gotta try a few meds before you find one that works. It's frustrating, because it can take a while to work.
Good luck with your brains, robots. Take good care of them, because you only get one, until we develop brain implants or something. Eat well, sleep well, get some exercise. Remember that your schizoid traits are a gift, they give you immense creativity and a different outlook on the world from everyone else. If you turn towards creative outlets when you're struggling, I think you'll find a lot of comfort. Schizophrenics were once prophets, shamans, and seers. Of course, they were also forced to work as slaves, traveling up and down the European coast. People would kidnap the crazies of their town and force them to work on navy ships; these served as the predecessors of the first insane asylums. There's a long history of oppression for schizos. Remember that you have rights. If you get checked into a hospital, read everything they make you sign very carefully.
I feel like a fucking ghost....I have no experiences...no friends...I have done nothing with my life, and I wouldn't even know how to do anything with it. I go to school without talking to a single person then come home and lay in the darkness until the next day. I'm fucking done living like this. I need to get busy living, or get busy dying.
I'm legit going insane. I hear voices, scratches, static, laughs, etc.
I feel shit crawling up my skin. I feel little legs of bugs crawling up me and I see nothing where it is.
I also start twitching and shaking a lot. I'm really frightened and confused all the time.
Shit is fucking up in real life and I'm putting all my energy to my music. I don't know if I can go on long
Go make an appointment with a psychiatrist right now. You don't have to be living like this, there is medication out there for you that will stop all those auditory and tactile hallucinations. It could be as little as two weeks before the meds make all your symptoms disappear. How is your sleep, are you sleeping enough? Do you have a lot of energy? You might be showing symptoms of Bipolar 1, if you can't sleep and you can't keep still. Manic episodes can be very frightening to someone who's never had them.
One of my trips on another board keeps showing up here, had to delete the post, here's what it saidd:
I have shit sleep. I have very bad energy as well.
I don't know if this is related but my memory is know super bad, I've blacked out a couple of days before and I can't remember anything
Living doesn't mean running around like you're in a fucking Subaru commercial. As long as your mind is active and your soul is getting closer to peace you are taking advantagr of your experience of life. For some people this is partying, for some it's backpacking, for some it's reading and thinking about death while listening to synthpop. It's all subjective; follow your desires, challenge your fears and never let anyone else's preconceptions of a worthwhile life stop you from making your own.
I'm starting to think that I've been having psychotic episodes.
A while ago I had a period of a few days where I walked around in a daze, couldn't focus on anything, felt really anxious and confused, couldn't eat. It felt as if my mind was committing suicide right in front of me and all I could do was watch.
I had few, less severe kinds of those episodes since then. Am I actually losing it? Also sometimes experience exactly what this (>>26092138) anon said.
Since I was about 15 everything everyone said went in one ear and out the other. Cared less and less about real life until I got here, a friendless NEET. Life is fairly terrible, but we'll be dead soon.
Memory deficit is more of a schizo symptom. You could have schizophrenia instead. It's very difficult to separate bipolar from schizophrenia at first, because schizos can have psychotic episodes that have some manic symptoms, like insomnia and heightened energy. I'm not really sure if you are manic, you don't seem to have an elevated mood or extreme anger. Have you been more sociable lately, or more withdrawn? More sociable indicates bipolar, while more withdrawn indicates schizophrenia. I'm obviously no doctor so I can't know for certain which you have, I just have experience with both illnesses. It's up to a psychiatrist to diagnose you, and figure out what medication you need to be on. But you do need to be medicated, you're endangering yourself and others by having an unmedicated psychotic episode. It could get a lot worse. It doesn't seem like you're delusional, which is good because you can be rational enough to see a doctor. They might hospitalize you, just as a warning. It really sucks a lot being hospitalized without preparation, I had to wear the same clothes for like a week because I had no one on the outside to get shit from my house, and I reeked so bad.
That could be depersonalization. You're not hallucinating or delusional, so it's not really a psychotic episode. >>26092138 's symptoms are more psychotic, I have schizophrenia and I wake up a lot thinking complete gibberish or being locked in these weird mental scenarios. Like one time I was "haunted" by this lady, and I had to think about circles to make her go away. Depersonalization is difficult to treat. Make sure you eat healthy, even if you have to force yourself. That's easier said than done, I know I go days without eating and it's just another stressor that makes me fall back into psychosis.
>you don't seem to have an elevated mood or extreme anger
I'm trying to make my posts normal as hard as I can. I've been feeling multiple things right now so it's kind of hard.
Anyways, yeah I'm a withdrawn guy.
But I'll try to see someone soon. Thank you
This is part of the reason why i'm moving back home with my mom. I ain't depressed or schizo or anything but goddamnit do i feel so fucking lonely and dry here all alone. I feel it especially those times when i realise "huh i'm gonna spend these next 5 days all alone in my room". It's tearing away at me.
I feel like the more you suffer in life, the more empathy you have. And you start thinking with an outsider perspective.
There are people on this board who've been shit on by life enough that they see beyond what the rest of us do. Like a high level diagram.
Always thinking about the distant future and how nothing's fair and how everything is luck. That'll drive you crazy.
You have to anchor yourself to some stupid, ridiculous, in-the-moment people. Pick some moral/artistic value and live for that idea.
I dunno, you could be showing either illness. Like I've said, both bipolar and schizo are each a whole spectrum of illnesses, and they're not exclusive. But you are having positive symptoms of psychosis, which means you gotta get to a doctor right away before it gets worse.
Yeah, social isolation can cause mental illness in sane people. It's important to socialize, so you can stay healthy. It's probably a good idea to move in with your mom if it's driving you nuts like that.
Does anyone else get night terrors along with most symptoms that have been mentioned in this thread?
I'll just randomly wake up in the middle of the night thinking that there's like spiders or snakes in my bed
the worst one i had was when I woke up thinking my dog was dead and i swear I hallucinated seeing him laying on my bedroom floor
I feel the exact same OP. I cant say it's normal as I've dabbled with psychedelics in my day. It's also much more apparent when I'm my mind isn't occupied with work, friends, doing shit..
But seriously it's like I'm a ghost. People talk to me and I don't even know what to say back because I cant determine if they are real or what they are asking is more than a fated response to their environment.
Hey, this detachment is kinda happening to me too. It started with an LSD trip, in which I saw through myself. Anyways that was awesome, seeing the world in a new light. Fuck I felt great at this point,
like I had a whole new world to explore and discover. So I went overseas, read introductory philosophy, etc. but I had to come back. I moved back home, and hung out with my old highschool buddies,
who desu are simple as fuck. Trying to talk about and share ideas was impossible, I felt more alone in their presence, than I did when I was actually alone. So I stopped bothering talking to them about life and existence.
They have their minds made up and dont have the ability to discuss or think critically. I kind of alienated myself, not intentionally. But what they talked about was fucking deplorable, just rubbish.
But these are good mates Ill love til I die. So I tried very fucking hard.
I spend more time alone, in my room, listening to music, day dreaming, escaping. I work casual hours, 2 days a week, labouring. Cant talk to my workmates, theyre just as clueless. I dont get on with anyone,
just one good mate tries to understand. hes been really good for me. Lately not so much. I havent had a lay in ages. Im not having fun, cant remember the last time I laughed hysterically. Not many friends,
zero friends who enjoy doing what I do. Not really aware of all this creeping up on me. I remember one trip at this stage I had with my mates that I went off by myself. They were being weird, or being weirded out by me,
so I had a sit on the grass and felt really comfortable within myself again. And just recently I had a night on the MDMA and couldnt shake the idea that I had some sort of depression. After thinking about it the next
day I thought that if I did, it wasnt too hectic, something a change in scene and lifestyle would fix.
So as it stands, Im moving back to a major city with a couple good mates I used to hang with at uni. Start doing things I enjoy again, around people I can relate to or get along with.
Im in a similar position. Except I dont care how people read me, so I end up reading the fuck out of them and getting bored of them because I feel like most of the people I seem to run into are shallow.
There are some nice peeps, but they dont seem to stay in my life for very long, travelling or whatever.
I was afraid I'd sudoku myself sooner or later and was having the sort of reality detachment that others have mentioned.
My issue was depression from feeling extreme isolation and loneliness. Nothing was worth doing.
When I realized that I was probably a danger to myself more than I was comfortable I decided instead of trying to cry for help I'd just pick up my phone and call old friends I haven't talked to in years because if I didn't I knew I'd probably be dead before spring. Some could meet with me and we just hung out/talked even played a video game, something I haven't found enjoyable for 7+ years.
I feel a ton better just being able to talk to people once a day. I make myself do my work in a library now instead of my office just so I'm out of the house and around people.
I feel like this. I hear people say hello to me sometimes while I'm swimming at the pool, like some girl will come over and shout out hello and I know they are talking to me on some level but I just don't react. Everything feels dulled. I guess this is how it starts.
Alright, actual psychologist here.
Since this thread is full of fucking retards thinking that loneliness is somehow linked with schizophrenia, and that idiotic fuck who is speaking about it and bipolar stuff is definitely not helping you guys into thinking otherwise, i'm going to step in and fucking slap you back to your retarded place.
No, you are not getting insane, mad, or anything.
No, you are not developing schizophrenia.
No, you will not fucking need meds to fix your shit.
Social withdrawal, when intentional, is linked with depression and schizoid symptoms, which are not linked with schizophrenia itself.
Schizophrenia is a severe mental illness, social withdrawal is a SYMPTOM of schizophrenia, not a a cause for it.
I think you fucking idiots never saw a real schizophrenic before, because if you did you surely wouldn't be in this thread asking questions back and forth.
Do you want to know what schizophrenia is without the newage bullshit stuff and without studying for 10 years for a psychology major? go watch A Beautiful Mind and The Soloist.
That's pure schizophrenia.
You just don't fucking get schizophrenia by being alone or whatever.
>then tell us, almighty one, how do we stop this
Social withdrawal\isolation doesn't help the human mind, this is a fact.
Not a single one of you is really isolated or suffering from intensive social withdrawal, since these are issues found in prisoners or lost-in-action soldiers, not on retards who can fucking shitpost all day long on 4chan or any other sites.
You want to fix this? good, fix your life and your mood, get your shit together and start doing what you want.
>but muh depression
Get meds and fix it.
Again, you are not getting insane, stop thinking that bullshit, it will only entrench you on biased ideas and concepts.
And i will also add:
Schizophrenia is a mental illness which involves both POSITIVE and NEGATIVE symptoms, the first ones being new things added to your sphere of perception:
Hallucinations, including all the senses, being visive, auditory, tactile, smelly and tastative)
Delusions, which are a rather complicated and intricated subject, since the DSM-IV-TR doesn't actually hold a very elaborated definition of delusion, but it shortly translated to "a belief outside the boundaries of reality", you have many types of delusions, but the delusioning people is NEVER, NEVER NEVER aware of them being delusions, this is a KEY for diagnosing schizophrenia.
Thought and movement disorders, like compulsive movements, disorganized thinking or the infamous "word salad".
Negative symptoms are the opposite, they are things you can no longer feel or perceive, they are generally all united in a single context which is "lack of sensory and feelings", which are exquisitely linked with depression.
YOU. DON'T. REALIZE. YOU. HAVE. SCHIZOPHRENIA.
This is the fucking fact.
You get screened, if you have it, you don't know, because schizophrenics lack insight and image of the self.
They believe what they feel is real, the true world, the real self and the real universe.
IF you are feeling strange, like your world warping around you and everything, you are either suffering from a very bad case of derealization or depersonification, which are both extreme symptoms of a plethora of different mental diseases, including but not only depression, schizoid disorder, schizotypical disorder, borderline disorder, bipolar disorder, and of course sociopathy too.
A schizophrenic has no ability to understand if things are changing, if you are already aware of things morphing out you are already shit out of the luck, schizophrenia is often developed by what psychiatrist call "psychotic and mental breakdown", which is a severe breaking of the self and insight, often experienced after a trauma.
So in the end where's the trick?
You are all feeling these things, these problems.
Well they're nothing but mere illusions, derealization and depersonalization are extremely common.
Just for fucks sake don't fucking believe that you are going to get schizophrenia, that's not true and you will only harm yourself by thinking so.
And to finally end this retarded gimmick of yours, if you really want to be sure, man the fuck up and get an appointment with a specialist, someone that isn't in the "new-age" field maybe, that is not going to tell you to eat raw bamboo for three months to fix your stuff.
This whole shit makes me extremely angry because i've seen tons of people asking for help because they thought they were becoming insane just because their definition of "insanity" was a seriously fucked up definition fueled by cultural bias and other retarded things.
INSANITY, as y'all motherfuckers like to call it, is a very serious business, but the insane one is unaware of being insane, this is the rule of thumb.
>hurr help me i see strange things i don't know anymore
Get out, have a walk, meet people.
Hypochondriasis grows from idleness.
I felt the same everyday and still happens from time to time. My therapist told me that that's a defense mechanism, so, everytime I fell depressed or had strong bad emotions that shit would happen.
I'm better know.
Fight your fearsor go to a therapist, a good one is worth every penny.
>guys i don't remember shit
>lol u have schizophrenia
Jesus fucking christ you fucking retards.
Is there a sort of reverse schizophrenia?
Normal things associated with schizophrenia:
>mania, social hyperactivity
>firmly believing those delusions
>terrible long-term skills (NMDA and all that)
>heightened stereotypically left-brained activity (speech, artistic output, studious)
>limited stereotypically right-brained activity (spatial skills, long-term emotional memory, independent problem solving)
I have like, the reverse of all those things, to the point where I just want to stab people for being so retarded about shit all the time. People who think they have empathy but just don't, people who think they are moral crusaders then violate their own promises and can't realize it. Boring numb dull shit people that have to follow social instruction because there's nothing in their goddamn heads.
My mother suffers from Scizophrenia and its been a fact that I've understood as a kid. Growing up with her around I had a lot of experience with how a Scizophrenic person thinks and behaves, and took it a notch up out of fear of my own suspectibility to the disease in my DNA.
What my own research and observations throughout the course of over 20 years i can conclude that scizophrenia is the next step in human evolution.
You can decry me for being ill myself but here's what I concluded. I'll list the positive and negative conclusions
1) Scizophrenics rarely ever get physically sick. They're immune systems are profoundly stronger then a regular neurotypical persons. I've never seen my mother sick in the course of 20 years
2) Scizophrenics have a higher resistance to pain.
3) Scizophrenics have better eye sight and a bigger depth perception field. You will rarely ever see a scizophrenic wearing eye glasses
4)Scizophrenics have better working memories
5)Scizophrenics are more accute in picking up on patterns and make better strategicians.
6)Scizophrenics are morally upright and won't feel the need or urge to cause someone pain.
7)Scizophrenics have a better understanding in human emotions although in a lot of cases lack the physical feeling of them. I believe it's because the neuron connections associated with feeling are rewired to logic instead which brings me to my next point
8)Scizophrenics see things with more rationality and logic. The reason being for that is that they're prone to being wired in seeing themselves in the scope of the entirety of humanity as opposed to have an individualistic world view of thenselves. They're more into politics and humanity's survival then themselves
9)Since a scizophrenics mind is wired different they experience reality a lot differently from the get go, especially when it comes to dealing with people. A scizophrenic experiences time and space differently. The stretch of time and space feels and looks a lot closer to them then a normal person.
If a normal person and a scizophrenic person were standing at the same end of the hallway, the scizophrenic will see the hallway a lot shorter to them then the normal person. A minute in a scizophrenic goes by much faster as well. Which makes more difficult tasks seem easier to them then a regualar person. But it also makes time go by faster.
10)A high energy scizophrenic is much quicker in handling diificult tasks
And the list goes on. These are the only negative aspects of the disease.
Since Scizophrenics are wired differently they behave and think differently as well, which would stigmatize them by the rest of society as weird, odd or eccentric. Which causes them to be more reclusive an susceptible to using drugs out of suicidal not giving a fuck tendencies and a means of coping with depression. Which can then offset and trigger hallucinations. Instead of having a visual mind and being able to see their thoughts in a mental space, they're imaginations become a part of the physical reality. Instead of seeing a dragon in a mental space, they'll literally see a dragon in reality.
If Scizophrenics were more respected and less stigmatized in society, they can contribute a lot more to all the fields of science, technology, the humanities and set, but since they're heavily lauded, they have a more of an inclination of falling off the wagon and destroying themselves using drugs and alcohol.
Where's my fucking nobel peace prize?
Cause I'm on my phone and mispelt it prior to before and spell check saved it as such. A missing letter in a word shouldnt refract you from the content you grammar nazi
I've had a similar problem last couple of years, have been struggling to describe it. I think 'abstract' is it. I can't help but think in endless loops, or see people as lumps of matter, squeezing themselves to make noises at each other, everything just being chemical reactions
KILL URSELF U FAGGOT
U R THE CANCER KILLING R9K XD
I feel like im not physically there, like im not even real. Everything feels like it isn't even happening, i feel like im in a permanent lucid dream. The only thing that keeps me grounded is my s.o.