I think if i sleep past noonish my mood is horrible for the rest of the day.
Hows everyone holding up today?
I have class tomorrow afternoon and all day Wednesday, do not want.
there's one girl who at least knows my name and says hi to me. It made me feel better until I realized how pathetic it was to consider that an accomplishment
What a surprise, a fag using unnecessary trip codes is replying to every single person in the thread.
Way to break the stereotypes there you fucking attention whore. Kill yourself.
I hate my body and I want to kill myself. I'm not bad looking, I'm average, but every time I look at myself in the mirror I'm disgusted. Also...
>tfw no mentally ill gf
Why even live?
Good evening skelly, /failingcollege/ anon from last night here. I didn't have classes today after all because of the weather, but I didn't check my email until after I walked all the way to the classroom only to realize that nobody else was around. It's already getting late, and I have to go to some 1 hour assembly about academic probation, hopefully nobody there messes with me like usual. I tied my noose last night, I've been working on the design for the past year and I've finally perfected it I think. I have it stored in my closet for now, just in case things get too bad. I'm kind of hoping that they will so that I can finally get it over with. Winter break went by so fast, I've already been back for 5 days now, I still don't feel like I belong here, or anywhere really. Even with melatonin I can't sleep, no thanks to my loud ass suitemate who never shuts the fuck up for one second all day and night, and the l theanine i take to help my anxiety disorder hasn't worked in months, I'm only still taking it for simple peace of mind. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. I'm too far gone to integrate into society, I've been bullied and ostracized my whole life, and while most would just say that I have a persecution complex, I know that I didn't deserve any of the things people have done to me, or any of the illnesses that have turned me into a scrawny doormat due to all the fucked up meds I had to take for them. It hurts to know that people can be so cruel to anyone who is so tired and just wants to make it through the day peacefully, but in the eyes of society maybe I do deserve it for being so weird. Besides, the only way anyone can succeed is for others to fail, the only way to gain love and social status is to put others down and use them as stepping stones. So maybe I do have a purpose, but the only way I can get back at them is to take myself out of the equation, they can't laugh at me if i'm dead, if they can't see my ugly face.
It feels good to be acknowledged though
:< I'm sorry to hear that
I have friends who have but i've never. Do you?
Are you actually having fun or is that sarcasm?
Thats how I feel as well desu. Not ugly but I hate my appearance
Switch meds and switch roomates first off, that might do you a lot of good. And no one deserves the cruelties people can do, people suck anon. Its not too late to integrate into society, you need to find a few friends who can help you.
And killing yourself won't get back at them. At all.
I wish I could help you more anon, you dontt deserve to feel like this.
Thats super tacky desu, also a really weird way to come out. How do you feel about it?
Feeling pretty terrible.I haven't gone to class in two weeks.I have just been keep making mistakes and embarrassing myself. I really just want to cut what little contacts I have and hole up in my room and waste away or end it.I have felt worse before but I am starting to get tired of all of it.
They're dietary supplements actually, the kind you get from gnc. I've had people say that I should try medication, but I've heard too many horror stories about that shit. And frankly, my brain chemistry is fucked enough as is, pills would make it worse.
WHat do you mean embarrassing yourself?
Pills are there to help your brain chemistry, not ruin it
I do but I haven't seen her in forever. She's helped me a lot honestly, helps me see how much depression has fucked up my way of thinking about the world.
>fixed sleep schedule
>started working out
felt great for the past week, reading more on my PC less, even going out for a meal with a qt 8/10 I went out with in HS, I'm not trying to rub it in anyones faces I'm saying it's worth trying to change something rather than letting everyday be the same as the last
Small-ish state university. Just about everything I say or do I regret and feel embarrassed for saying.I keep thinking anyone cares about my input and say something only to immediately regret and start spiraling thinking of how to leave.I also keep fucking up academically so I am too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it and usually lie about it to not look retarded.
Skeleton I'm not sure if you remeber me I mentioned I'm going to assessments and mentioned my sister having an accident, I'm still being assessed but I was open at my evaluation, I'm a bit worried they plan on putting me in a hospital but that's ok, my life just feels nice I'm also this anon >>26027153
you telling me to be open helped me a lot, feel better anon
Glad to hear that anon. Its hard to change though.
I honestly think its in your head anon. Might wanna consider therapy
I think i remember something like that, but not specifically. And I'm glad things are getting better for you!
Honestly I've never been in one, but the best advice i've heard is to be cooperative and things go by faster. I doubt you'll be thrown in one though, you seem too well right now
I have thought about therapy.I just can't see it helping and I feel as if I am not "messed up" enough for it. I always feared I would get laughed out for even coming in with my petty shit. Also I can't afford it.
in my last assessment I mentioned how my dogs spying me and how life doesn't feel real, also how I believe a group of spiders are trying to systematically bully me (hence the concern) but you're right as long as I am doing this well when I next see them they'll probably see how much better I'm doing
A lot of people without "real problems" can benefit from therapy to be honest. Also they have places you can go to where they base your payments on your income. Its free for me that way
I think they will.
>be me about an hour ago
>log in to league of legends for some reason
>bro messages me on league, we get in a voice chat
>he invites a bunch of his friends to the Skype
>we start a match
>one of them is a grill who plays Ahri, of course
>they all ignore me, especially the girl
>eventually they just leave me and join a call to continue playing
>girl and some other guy she knows call me annoying before leaving
Shoulda played Dota.
>Why is your roommate loud?
>Can you ask them to be quiet?
>Do you have any friends?
>Do you have anyone offline you can speak to?
>Do you think there are things you would regret not doing after death?
>How old are you?
>What is one thing you always wanted to accomplish?
>Why do you think you have to "use" others to succeed?
Your thought pattern seems sick anon