a guy with a russian accent plowing me from behind as he grabs my thighs to keep my pussy close to him so he can ram his cock deep into me while he says shit like "is that how you like it, you fucking whore? is that how you like getting fucked? take my cock you fucking dirty slut. i'm going to pump my cum into you and make you my personal fucktoy"
I only masturbate like once a month, but it's only when I feel really self hating and I think about my dad raping me and I make myself hold on my climax for as long as possible so I can't feel pleasure. No I'm not joking.
>>26014778 I can believe this. I only really jerk it when i'm stressed and feeling down and out, and most of the time i'm so rough on myself that I don't even finish. Anyways, why do you do this to yourself? Are you at least working on the issue?
>>26014809 Because I was touched as a child and I can't get over it. I don't desire him in any way though but I hate myself so I still have fantasies about it time to time and force myself into them. I wish I could get over all my crazy issues but I've had them for a while and have tried many things and I guess I gotta accept I'll have them for most my life. A friend of mine is trying to help me 'kill' my dad in my mind and forget that he exists but I don't know if such a thing is possible. Thanks for reading my blog, make sure to subscribe.
>>26014913 No, the blog post is fine, i imagine something like that sticks with you forever, but it seems so unhealthy to have your mind force it on you over and over. What have you tried to get rid of it?
1.) a guy shoving me into a bed/bending me over a countertop and fucking me from behind until im screaming for him to stop 2.) a guy handcuffed and begging me to let him cum as i torture his cock 3.) sitting on a guy's face while he jerks himself off and we both cum 4.) a mixture of all of the above
(i also sometimes get off on fantasizing about crushes, hot teachers, and incest)
>>26014912 Well, the last one sounds pretty hot to me, i'd love to arrange something with a girl I didn't know. Like, to just find her walking home one day and holding her down and pumping her full of cum.
>>26014994 It is unhealthy, I do it on purpose because I hate myself and I feel a constant need to rot and the easiest way to feel that rotting sensation is to connect myself back to a bad time like that and try and replicate the emotions I felt then. Despite all this I do usually keep it bottled up most of the time, but I do let it get out sometimes. As far as get rid of it, strong meds, LOTS of therapy (I was incarcerated in various mental wards and stuck in the mental health system for a long time), trying to push my feelings on other people. I dunno how to make it go away.
i just broke up with someone six months ago and am not over him yet. so whenever i fap i just think of his face smiling, him laughing, him hugging me, and the other little things he does and faces he makes. he's the only guy i ever had sex with, so i also imagine the sex we had when i fap.
>>26015226 That sounds terrible, i don't think i have anything that bad to relate to. Have you tried opening up with other people? Like, just talking about stuff like that can make it seem less significant at times. It really shouldn't control your life like this, you're missing out on a lot that life has to offer by letting it stick with you
>>26015251 Would you RP incest stuff with a younger guy? Would you let him pin you down and never stop going until you were almost numb? All your interests are relevant to all my fetishes, you can elaborate on anything. Fantasies, scenarios you have playing in your mind, anything
1. Hand over my mouth while his cock plows into me 2. Being tied up outdoors and fucked 3. A dominant woman ordering me to lick her boots and her cunt while she has me on a leash 4. Gangbang, big insertions, men in panties, gloryholes, teachers and other people with authority
>>26015289 I talk about it with my best friend, she's the only person who truly understands because she has had to deal with similar issues. She's very close to me and like a sister, but I can't always talk to her about it because she has trouble with it too and bringing up bad things like that unironically triggers her and floods her mind too. I have to be respectful and make sure to not hurt her so I need to keep a lot of my emotions to myself even if it eats at me everyday and will probably end up killing me. I'm not sure if normal people ever feel like this but I always feel this impending doom on me, like a really bad storm cloud above me, following me. I'm scared of it so I feel the need to rot by embracing the horrible things about me in hopes it will kill me before the doom arrives. I'm getting really off topic but maybe talking about it might give insight to some people and help them somehow, I dunno.
>>26015456 Not her but big insertions don't actually feel good. Bigger is better to an extent but you very easily reach a point where it just hurts or you feel nothing. Some women can stick many things very far because they basically feel nothing.
>>26015443 No, I understand now. I grew up around a lot of violence, and it seems to follow me around like how your sexually violent past follows you. And talking like this is hopefully helpful, I didn't mean to trigger you or anything if i have already. But, there is probably so much more to you than just that, instead of wanting to rot, have you ever tried focusing on your positive experiences or traits? Sorry if i'm rambling at you btw, just trying to help where i can
>>26015535 I really need to be more open about liking this stuff as a guy then, i always thought big insertions would come off as creepy to women if i brought it up. I'd love to stretch a girl out, just so i can watch how far she can go
>>26015353 i actually tend to like younger guys, but its sort of a problem because im pretty young myself. im a switch so im very into controlling the guy's pleasure but also letting them fuck me rough. most rape scenarios turn me on too, as long as theres no hitting. i like the feeling of being restrained and not being able to stop someone from mercilessly fucking me, and vice versa.
>>26015529 Good traits? I dunno. I've helped my friend a lot. She's a strong girl but I think if I wasn't there for her a few times she might be dead. I hope not but either way I'm glad I can be there for her and help her with her problems. I also have another person I talk to not as often who I think help a little bit. That's about it, I think I'm good for making people feel not alone but that's because I'm incredibly clingy and loyal and obsessive. Other than living for other people, I'm useless. I don't even feel like a real person, because I don't live for myself. It's hard to explain, but it's like I'm borrowing my body or something.
>>26015656 Clingy and loyal and obsessive can all be good traits to have, I wouldn't see them as negatives. And you seem to like nurturing and helping people, at least you seem to do that for friends. Maybe it's a way that you can stop focusing on the bad things in your life for a bit? I dunno. Maybe you should look into some sort of career that utilizes that, you'd probably do well in them. Anyways, you just seem really, really down on yourself, you certainly don't seem like a bad person at all to me
>>26015592 Really depends on how freaky the chick is though. I'm very open towards sex when I have a good partner, but I can imagine lots of women aren't and would be creeped out or feel like an object.
>>26015720 Yeah, i guess you're right. But besides the insertion stuff, I'm honestly really vanilla. Which means i'm not sexually compatible with any girls probably. I still shouldn't bring up insertions with people i guess
>>26015718 I'm not allowed to work lol. I'm Schizophrenic and was put into the mental health system when I was in 9th grade, I never finished high school or got my GED. Also my obsessiveness it really too strong. I get extremely mad at my friend's friends. I just want them to disappear, I just want to be the only thing in her life right now. I'm possessive and controlling in personality I just don't act on it, but it eats up at me. I haven't gotten a message from her in 2 days and I stayed up all night waiting because I get anxiety when she doesn't talk to me because I imagine her having fun with her other friends while I rot and I just want to die sometimes because I always feel like shit. Sorry for rambling.
>>26015808 >because I imagine her having fun with her other friends while I rot and I just want to die sometimes because I always feel like shit. That sounds a bit too much like me and now I'm worried I'm as fucked up as you.
>>26015808 I'm not schizophrenic, but the obsessiveness is exactly like mine. Like, exactly. When i talk to people, i wanna be the only one talking to them. And while i know it isn't healthy, it's just how i operate i guess. And you're not rambling too bad, I'm honestly flattered that you'd take the time to write all that out for me. Sucks that you can't work, it must be hard to afford things that you need. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
>>26015802 Well, if you say so. It's nust hard to find girls who are willing to try this stuff with me, girls who aren't into a lot more anyways. I either talk to prudes, or girls who are like "i'll do anything with everyone"
>>26015831 Probably not. You can be fucked up in that way, but I doubt you're as fucked up as me. I take a weird pride in that I'm usually the most fucked up person.
>>26015862 I'm 22. I realize my obsessiveness is unhealthy and my friend lives far away so it's probably for the best she has friends when I can't be there. It wasn't always like this, I used to be her only friend and we'd talk all day. I'm so scared of being replaced because I'm so expendable and worthless. She's a sister to me, would she replace her sister? I dunno for sure I hope not.
>>26015964 She doesn't like when I talk too much about her, but she's always sweet and kind with me. Sometimes when I have manic episodes I go crazy and I'm not myself or when I hallucinate she'll comfort me and keep me safe. She used to read me stories when I was half out of my mind and couldn't think, it really helped bring me back. She's basically the nicest person I've ever met.
>>26016115 It was Alice in Wonderland mostly. She'd read them with her niece and send me them. She'd say my name as if I was there with her, it was very nice. I think I should still have the recordings saved. Either way I'll never forget about them. I still remember the recordings very well.
I like to imagine being a teacher in a class full of cute boys around the time they hit puberty, the thought of them having fantasies about me and fapping to me really gets me. I imagine that I pretend not to know that and casually wear sexy and revealing but not too slutty clothes in class like blouse and short dress and have them get peeks at my underwear when i pick up chalk from the floor and things like that and pretend not to notice when they take pics of that with cell phones and stuff. its like an unspoken aqgreement I pretend not to know that they are lusting over me and catch peeks of my underwear or bra and these things while they try to hide how much they are lusting over me. I don't even imagine anythigng really sexual or anything, just really like the thought of being the fap fantasy of a whole class of young boys
most of my fantasies are pretty hard or impossible to do in reality i guess
>>26016211 Well if she did I'd be devastated, I wouldn't be able to live. That's a (small) part of why I'm so clingy, I want her to live. Even when things are going great I'm scared something bad will happen and she'll get hurt. I always assume the worst, all the time. If I don't hear from her in an hour I assume she's dead, I'm not kidding. I'm constantly paranoid.
>>26016738 I treat girls exactly like that and they grow to hate it, and they say i do too much and i stifle them and stuff. Also, being emotionally available to one person is a trap, it's like putting all your eggs in one basket. Although i do that every time anyways
>>26016778 I don't like being emotional, reactions are never as expected and it's just a hassle, I guess I just want someone who can be emotional for me. But then I think they must think I don't love them so I back away and focus on whatever I have to do.
>>26016844 Well, i do plenty of that. Have you ever had what you are looking for in a guy? Because i've had girls like you that liked it at first and then decided that i was a bit too emotionally reactive and all that. I'd gush over them too much, i mean. Not like "why don't you love me??" Kind of emotional
>>26016899 A ldr, I blame my reactions, they're not as fulfilling as they must want them to be I try to force myself to be more responsive, but I can't. I guess it's because I've never truly fallen in love. Emotional people are perfect, I suck and deserve to die alone.
being molested by an older man fictional characters like hannibal (from the show) ddlg bdsm fifty shades of grey my first time (im a virgin), being taught how to do it in a soothing voice being raped wearing a school uniform and having sex with a teacher hentai
>>26014225 >Pls tell, I need it for scientific reasons
LOL I need this info for science xd meme face Get this reddit tier trash off here, what the fuck is the point of saying that anyway Half the people here jerk off to lolicon during their free time and the other half actually fuck kids Jesus christ I'm sick and tired of this bullshit
>>26017037 Most women i've been around aren't responsive, so you're not a terrible person or anything. As a really emotional guy, having a girl i love say anything to me is amazing. I guess that probably makes me a cuck by 4chan standards, but i'll say all this stuff about how much i love the girl i'm with and they'll usually just be like "yeah okay, that's cool" after awhile. Honestly, as long as she sticks with me, she doesn't have to be a wordsmith or anything. Just find a guy who really likes you, and they won't care about your lack of words. Anyways, sorry for rambling
>>26017226 Psh, i'm the opposite of mature in my mind. But i can see where you're coming from, on the occasion that my gf says something mushy to me, i lose it and usually tear up a little. But I don't expect her to say stuff like that, it makes hearing it that much sweeter
>>26017374 I totally get that. I had to really work on that when i got my current gf. She needs a bit more space and isn't as bombastic as me, but i can cling to her forever and be happy like that. I had to (and still have to) work on giving her some space, while not feeling left out
>>26017494 yes. I do this. I don't talk to the people I like nearly as much as I talk to the people whom I tolerate. The good ones are too good for the likes of me, so I just think of them in my head later.
>>26014225 slipping my fingers under the skin of a putrid, bloated, decaying corpse with an overwhelming stench that's been stewing in a puddle of its own bile for at least several days. slowly and methodically mutilating it, smearing its liquid filth over my face and letting maggots crawl into my mouth and pussy while I spoon it and kiss it, delicately picking what remains of its internal organs out of its expanded torso and shoving them up inside of me. etc. etc.
it can be about virtually anyone but I usually picture a man or woman age 20-40 that I've seen in public recently that I thought would decompose in an attractive way
>>26018694 of course you're the one who has to live with it, but I find it extremely attractive. I've thought a lot about being your corpse or being there for you while you're really lost in it after helping you acquire what you need. I'd be jealous but seeing you finally so satisfied would make me feel like I'd really served you. This is one of my creepier 4chan fantasies but I imagine I could be your little slave girl for some reason.
>>26019017 she's like the yin to my yang, by which I means completely fucking nutty in the best way possible. she'll sometimes tell me shit like >>26018603 to try and get me worked up, for example. pic related, something we'd do together
I'm 100% certain that if I tried to have a relationship with a normie, it would end within a week. Tops.
I have a friend that I sext ( we would probably be dating if not for the distance ).
I think about him breeding me. Sometimes I fantasize about him pulling me aside a dark corner in public and hiking my dress up and shoving his cock in me because he wants me that badly. Sometimes I fantasize about pushing him down on the bed, riding him and holding him down while I milk him of cum.
Sometimes I'm pregnant in these fantasies. Sometimes I imagine him telling me he's determined to knock me up. He really wants to breed me and I think about it almost every time. I also fantasize about cooking for him and giving him a sloppy bj and getting a facial from him.
I have noticed that when women fantasize, they are almost always actual fantasies, or at least things not realistically possible. They fantasize about things that would be dangerous to perform, or not as good as they think in real life. I think this is due to the fact that most women could just go and find more vanilla stuff themselves; they have no need to fantasize about realities.
>>26019687 He's kinda aloof but incredibly funny when he quips. He wears his hair a little long but he dresses very conservatively, almost preppy but he isn't or I mean he doesn't hang with preps though he goes to a private university. Oh, he has a hairy chest, my god and his eyes are hazel and when he looks at me I have to turn away.
>>26019772 This has nothing to do with my bf and I would never go out with anyone nor cheat on him. I was just being honest about a guy I would like to have known and fantasize about but will not since I met his brother first. Doesn't matter though I'm still young and don't expect my current bf will be the guy I marry nor do I think my bf thinks that either.
>>26020049 They do date. I'm talking about why, not if. If you can't see the difference between a senior and a freshman then you might be retarded. I bet you think you're an adult now because you're 18.
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