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>Just finished my final goodbyes to my brothers
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

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>Just finished my final goodbyes to my brothers
This is really happening. I'm so scared.
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>>26001295
Is your brother dying?
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>>26001321
No, but I'm about to be.
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>>26001295
Unfortunately I was the one who created it. It turned into a monster. It started a divisive war within /b/ and the war is still raging on.

It started when someone posted a thread, back in late December (on and around New Years' day), about wanting to replace the work 'kek' with 'heh'.

And then all hell broke lose.

People from all stripes - newfags, oldfags, beanerfags, cunts, feminists, niggers, shitskins, dykes, white people, feminists, neckbeards, virgins, psychopaths - they all wanted their input. Madness doesn't even begin to describe the chaos that ensued.

They all wanted to be apart of something great. Something new. Something revolutionary. Everyone wanted their own version of the 'new kek' to become the top-dog expressing laughter or content with another's post.

Then suddenly, with my fingers trembling - being a top-tier juggernaut edgemaster such as myself - I typed something edgy. Nobody knew what was about to happen. Nobody knew the power of what I was about to post: "Zozzle".

It was like an epiphany.

Then I said it again.
Zozzle.
And again.
Zozzle.
Then once more.
Zozzle.

Then, like a FIRESTORM, people from all stripes - left right center - started repeating it.

Zozzle, Zozzle, zozz, Top-Zozz, apex zozz, zozz lad, zuzzle, zawzle, zeuzle

Then memes. Memes from every origin you can think of.

My adrenaline was pumping. My brain was flooded with endorphines that made my eyes roll back in ecstasy. For the first time in months, I had a stiff erection that hasn't shown itself in months.

It was madness. And ever since, people have been re-posting edgy threads to replace kek with zozzle.

That, my friend, is the origin of zozzle. And I, unfortunately was the one who created such a monster...

Tldr: who's cares faggot
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>>26001339
You said feminists twice.
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>>26001333
Are you sick?
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>>26001380
Yes, I have a cold. I'm also suicidal.
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>>26001295
Give us some details, OP.
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>>26001295
livestream it, fag
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>>26001409
You should go to the doctor for the cold the flu strain is really bad this year. Also you shouldn't kill your self.
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>>26001412
Well, I'm planning on killing myself tomorrow. One thing on my checklist was to talk to my brothers one last time. I didn't think I'd have the balls to call them, but I did. I'm scared out of my mind 2bh.
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>>26001451
I tried that whole "wait a year, and if things aren't better, then you can kill yourself." It's been over a year now. I think now is the time. (Or tomorrow, I guess)
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>>26001467
Did you tell your brother that you plan on killing your self? You should at least reach out to somebody. If they don't give a shit then go for it.
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>>26001295
Praying for you, Anon. Why do you want to kill yourself?
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>>26001467
Why are you going to kill yourself?
You'll go straight to hell. And if you're a fedora tipper, you know that you're going to miss all of the neat scientific advancements in the future right?
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>>26001527
No, I didn't. They all told me how they wished we talked more often and how I should make calling them a habit. I love my family so much. This is the hardest part of it all.
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>>26001516
Did you actually try to make things better or did you just do the same and expect different results. I been in your shoes. Trying to fix things is really hard and extremely uncomfortable, but so worth it. Tbh It took me years to dig my self out of a slump and build a decent life.
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>>26001516
just do what i do

be lazy and cowardly and put it off until next year every year.
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>>26001545
Thank you, anon. I wish I could go into it, but it's a long story.

>>26001552
Yeah, I'm a fedora tipper. I really do love new discoveries and philosophy and all that other useless junk, but none of that matters (which is why those degrees don't = jobs). Not that that would influence my decision either way, though.
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Just do it op. Life won't get any better. Hopefully there is a Heaven and you will finally find the happiness everybody seeks.
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>mfw there will never be a rule where an assassin will be sent after you if you refuse to kill yourself after saying you would
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>>26001588
Yeah, I've been doing everything I can do. I'm not lazy, and I'm willing to leave my comfort zone if need be.
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>>26001626
I think you're stronger than you know, brother. If you're going tomorrow, you might as well share. We've got time, if only for tonight.
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>>26001646
What I wouldn't give for that. A pussy-proof method.
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>>26001646
That would be so much easier then just doing yourself. I would be dead already because im too much of a coward to
:Self Terminate:
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So how do you plan on killing yourself OP?
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>>26001668
It's difficult to go into. Basically stuff outside my control. I made a thread yesterday about it, and right now I'm just taking steps towards tomorrow.
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>>26001656
I feel like you need be. It's clearly your comfort zone doesn't work. You need another one. It would pain me if you killed your self. You should call your bother.
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>>26001656
What did you brothers say? Did they tell you to do it?
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>>26001702
Hanging. I think my closet rail is strong enough to support me.
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OP ignoring the posts telling him to do it. Please post your name so we can confirm that you actually killed yourself tomorrow.
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>>26001734
Confirmed for attention whore faggot
>>
Why don't you volunteer for being a civilian in Mars, or a head transplant, or something like that?

I made a pledge to go into space before I die, so suicide is out of the question for me. (Even if I ever was suicidal)
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>>26001728
I didn't tell them I was going to do it. It was basically just a "How've you been?" one last time.
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>>26001774
You're in space faggot
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>>26001765
Hanging is a pretty peaceful method, bruh.
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>>26001567
dont kill yourself please
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>>26001778
Why don't do what you said you wished?

>hey all told me how they wished we talked more often and how I should make calling them a habit.


> I love my family so much.

You owe it to them to have a say in this.
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>>26001778
So anon, since you're about to die soon, you wouldn't mind if i asked some personal questions would you?

Did you finish Highschool?
Do you have a university degree?
How old are you?
Do you live alone?
Have you ever had sex?
Did you ever go to a party?
What kind of movies do you like?
What kind of shows do you like?
What kind of food do you like?
How would you like to die?
What is the worst thing that happened to you?
What's happening in your social life right now?
Have you ever loved someone?
>>
why don't you try using your life for other people? you were gonna toss it out anyway, why not put it to good use with other people who want to do good things?
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>>26001835
Because if there was anything I could do for them, I'd do it. Right now, though, there's nothing I can do. Staying alive just isn't an option anymore.
>>
I've seen your threads. So how did you say goodbye without them comprehending why you were saying goodbye?
>>
why does your heart hurt so much?
>>
>>26001626
>its a long story

what else are you doing right now you faggot, might as well tell us
>>
Good luck OP. Im about to post all my guitars and amps on CL to fund a shotgun. Ill join you soon.
>>
>>26001882
It's not what you can do for them. Its what they can do for you. Also let's cut the bullshit if you really wanted to kill yourself. You wouldn't make this thread. Take our advice call your brother and tell him what is going on.
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>>26001856
>Did you finish Highschool?
Yes.
>Do you have a university degree?
No, but I have 60+ credit hours.
>How old are you?
23
>Do you live alone?
No, I have roommates.
>Have you ever had sex?
One time...ish
>Did you ever go to a party?
One time...ish
>What kind of movies do you like?
Not a fan of movies 2bh
>What kind of shows do you like?
Cartoons
>What kind of food do you like?
Picky eater.
>How would you like to die?
Peacefully in my sleep, but gonna do hanging.
>What is the worst thing that happened to you?
I'd prefer not to talk about it.
>What's happening in your social life right now?
Not a whole lot. Not complaining, but it's not great.
>Have you ever loved someone?
Who hasn't?
>>
What did you say to your brother?

And, please, OP, don't do it. If not for yourself, then just imagine how terribly it would grieve your brother that he couldn't stop you.

I hope we can stop you, but if we cannot, then I shall pray for your soul. That you posted this thread means you still have hope; please, don't let go of it.
>>
>>26001896
I just called them to say, "What's new?" Basically just another conversation with them, but a very important one for me.
>>
Just do it.

Don't be an attention whore, end it right this minute.
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>>26001936
What do you study?
What kind of Cartoons do you like?
Why do you want to kill yourself?
Who did you love?
>>
>is going to kill himself
>doesn't tell us about his life (even for the less informed)
>doesn't tell us his real name (to confirm his death)
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>>26001959
Doesn't sound like you have a real conversation. Seriously call your brother right now and tell him you are going to kill your self and then see what happens. If you had family like mine. Nothing would happen.
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>>26001931
I'll tell my parents tomorrow. Also, I get it. Here's something you don't get, though. I want to stay alive! I want to fulfill my dreams! I want to make something out of myself. I understand that taking my life will ruin that, but I just can't! I just can't!
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>>26001936
where do you live?

if you live in any first world country you can just go fuck yourself. you don't know what is suffering
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>>26001936

>What is the worst thing that happened to you?
I'd prefer not to talk about it.

Guy is about to kill himself and doesnt even want to talk about stuff on anonymous internet boards gtfo attention whore
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>>26001937
Thank you, anon. The point of this thread was to get comfort, which I really need. I still have to do it, but I'm glad there are people who wish the best for me.
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>>26001801
Slowly being asphyxiated from short drop hanging, and dying in abject terror and agony. Yeah....sounds like a real joy.
>>
POST NAME
O
S
T

N
A
M
E
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>>26001801
>>26001765
>>26001734
Nah he's an attention whore because we all know the pole is going to break and he'll be found by a neighbor or something. If he really wanted to suicide he'd do something more foolproof.
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>>26001981
I studied political science. (Inb4 memes)
I like any kinda cartoon, from Spongebob to Psycho-Pass.
Because life doesn't always give you dandelions.
I was about to propose to a girl like 2 years ago, but it didn't end up happening.
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>>26002015
If you want to stay alive. Then stay a live. You are 23 your live hasn't even really began. You are not at the age where outside forced can serious damaged your future. All you have to do is change your way and thinking and start working towards your long dream.
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>>26002076
Suspended hanging isn't asphyxiation. You pass out in a number of seconds from the lack of blood circulation and die in your sleep.
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>>26002126
Political Science? What's keeping you from getting a job?
Do you like the Venture Brothers?
I'm sorry it didn't happen.
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>>26002126
Not him but neato major choice desu, fuck them cocky STEM niggers.
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>>26002076
More like a real KILLJOY! Hahahahaha!
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>>26001295
oh you're the guy who quit his job and has a check list
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>>26002149
>You are not at the age where outside forced can serious damaged your future.
I wish that was the case, but the cards just aren't in my hands right now.
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>>26002055
There is no need to thank me. How could I consider myself a good Christian if I couldn't stir myself to offer help to a single lost soul?
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>>26002195
Yep. That's me. (Read 2 and a half of the books I promised to read, and I'm almost finished with Bob's Burgers)
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>>26002160
Might want to do some research there bub.
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Why are you sharing with us again? If you really wanted to off yourself you'd have done it already. As it stands you're just an attention whore.
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>>26002218
The cards are always in your hands you moron. Take some responsibility for your own condition.
>>
Just fucking kill yourself already and stop attention whoring.
Not like you're gonna do it anyways. I hate people who go around saying they're gonna kill themselves and don't do it. It's gay as shit.
>>
>>26002253
The plan has always been for tomorrow night. Can this "if you were gonna do it, you woulda done it when you were 6" meme die please?
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>>26002278
Dude, just leave. You're annoying af.
>>
>>26002218
I don't believe in faith anon. There have been plenty of people who made something out of nothing,
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>>26002271
I've taken all of my responsibility. There are some things I can't control.
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>>26002340
Why don't you give us an example?
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>>26002126
Tell us more about this proposal stuff. You said you only had sex one(ish) times, why would you propose to someone who you have only had sex with once?
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>>26002337
I understand. There are also millions who have lived their very best who just weren't dealt a good hand. Those are the stories that will always go unheard.
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>>26002391
Oh, I was a virgin when I almost proposed (she was too). Basically, she said that she just didn't see our relationship going in the direction I hoped for and broke it off. I just wasn't the right guy for her after all.
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>>26002403
Yet you are going to quit the game before you had a chance to play the game.
>>
>>26002314
I'm not a half as annoying as this son of a bitch who says he'll kill himself for some cheap attention on the net.
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>>26002442
I've experienced plenty that life has to offer. Other than a wife, kids and a real career, I've done everything. I've lived in both China and Japan. I went sightseeing in Canada and Mexico. I had sex with a girl. I had the college experience. I made friends. I have no regrets.
>>
Literally attention whore: the thread.
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>>26001295
I salute you brother. Don't go gently into that good night.
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>>26002278
>>26002454
>>26002486
Nobody cares. OC.
>>
Do us one favour and livestream it. Set an example for other robots.
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>>26002485
I apologize I didn't know I was talking to a suivants. Might as well kill your self instead of living a normal life.
>>
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>>26002525
(You)
original
>>
>>26002525
Actually, he's right
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>>26002542
>implying he'll kill himsefl
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>>26002551
>>>/tumblr/
Or, if you want, stay here. You'd just be giving me attention.
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>>26002055
Why do you want to kill yourself if you don't me asking?
>>
>>26001295
Don't do it if it scares you so much anon. If you're afraid maybe some part of you doesn't want to go through with it.
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>>26002617
Just stuff outside my control. It's a little too much for me to go into right now. Sorry.
>>
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>this thread
normies get out
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>>26002651

>>>/tumblr/

familia
>>
>>26002645
None of me wants to go through with it! I wish I could stay here and meme it up with you guys, but that isn't an option.
>>
>>26002655
Mah weeb nigga.
>>
>>26002673
Are you baiting fAm?
>>
>>26002673
What's your medical condition?
>>
>>26001516
Just don't expect anything. Literally.

I went to grad school aiming to be a top researcher. Now I'm okay wiht just working in the industry, making a cushy wage, living like a miser and retiring early..

No GF, no problem
>>
>>26002752
I can understand just going through the motions, and if it were all that simple, I'd say no problem.
>>
>>26002172
>>26002126
This desu.

Political science is cool as hell. Go work for an analytical firm or get an internship with state department. I went into medicine. Kinda wished I hadn't now, stem isn't all its cracked up to be. Just pick a cool job with lifestyle if you're not deadset on a dream career.
>>
>>26002752
So you want to kill your self because school was a little hard? Also you keep saying you want to do these thing, but yet you are going to kill your self. So which is it? You want to spend time with your family getting closer to them. Living a making a cushy wage or killing your self?
>>
>>26002434
do you think she was the right girl? I've been nuts over girls that objectively would not have worked well. I just was thinking with the wrong head.
>>
>>26002805
Quoting the wrong guy, pham.
>>
>>26002673
I know we don't fully understand what kinda situation you're in but why is this something you absolutely HAVE to do? Why is their no other choice?
>>
>>26002805
I'm not OP, relax.
>>
>>26001295
Shhhh bbg don't be scared, remember why you are doing this. If you have a good reason, then there's nothing to be scared of, you've given life a chance, it didn't give you nothing. Overcome that innate fear of death, it'll be over soon
>>
>>26001516
drink 177 cherries
>>
>anon says he's going to kill himself
>people are telling him not to kill himself
Whatever happened to the 4chan I knew?
Seconding the livestream idea. Be an hero, do it live
>>
Get the fuck off this board normie
>>
>>26002825
Yeah, in my opinion, we were a perfect match, but I just wasn't perfect for her.

>>26002834
Because if I don't, there are people who will come back to "get" me. I just want to die before that happens, because it will literally never stop. Even if I ran away across country, they'd find me. I'm tired of running and hiding any time I so much as hear a knock on the door.
>>
>>26002877
Because this isn't old /b/ faggot
>>
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>>26001896
you motherfucker you are about to traumatize your brothers you asshole just stick a gun in your mouth and pull the trigggereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>
>>26002862
Thank you. I'm glad you understand. Death is really scary, and I'm glad I have people here who are helping to ease me into it.
>>
>>26002898
Why not rekindle the relationship?
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>>26002941
Have you wrote a will yet?
>>
>>26002898
If it's something that serious then why not get help? Tell your brothers about it at the very least.
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>>26002943
I tried the whole "being friends" thing. Eventually, she just stopped returning my messages.
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>>26002983
JUST DO IT FUCK YOU
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>>26002964
Funny story. I actually talked to a lawyer, asking him for will services. He asked why a 23 year old was making a will, then told me to fug off. Either way, I'm just gonna deposit my money into my parents' bank account. I don't exactly have anything they'd want.
>>
>>26003033
Give it to your brothers?
>>
>>26002941
No prob, this isn't the time for normies to be all "don't do it, it'll get better", they had time to make things better long ago. I, along with the other true robots, respect the conclusion you have made, and hope its better on the other side. Only the lonely know what we go through https://youtu.be/bef_s1Bhn7o . what part is the most scary pham? Maybe I can help out. Is it the method? Do you have a quick way to go? One that takes little effort/willpower/control from you (like pulling a trigger, or jumping. Unlike lying on train tracks)? Do you have something you can take to calm your nerves (Pills, alcohol)?
>>
>>26003033
Maybe scribble something up? I can't see a lawyer to I just have a few pages of "give my vidya to _____". It's better than nothing right? Maybe it'll help you ease into death
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>>26003076
The scary part is knowing that in a couple of moments, there's going to be nothing but darkness. Forever. Just gonna go by hanging. No pills or alcohol or any of that. Just me left to my thoughts.
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>>26001295
enjoy the ride, space robot.
>>
>>26003144
I'm sorry that we can't stop you anon but I still think this isn't the solution. Please just think about anything you'd want to be stay alive for, or even anyone who would want to keep you around.
>>
>>26003144
Hey, man, there's a lot for you. Please stay a little longer.
>>
>>26003144
Alright, makes sense. For me I would think to myself that absolutely nothing means no worries (for the rest of your daysssss, hakunah matata), although it means no more happiness, it means no more pain, and since you're killing yourself, the pain outweighs the happiness anyways. any concerns you have, gone, any thoughts clogging up your brain, gone. It's like a odd sense of clearing your mind. For me, I can't explain it, but it fascinates me, I don't know why, the thought of time becoming nothing to me, that I won't notice an infinite amount of time pass makes my suicide a bit... Exciting. I know that's just me, and i suck at explaining myself, but maybe it'll help you. Are you drop hanging btw? The neck snap ensures you go unconscious so you don't quit out mid way through the strangulation, check lostallhope for more info on that if you want
>>
>>26003144
At least tell us your first name. So that we can all give you a final salute.
>>
>>26003292
Naw, it's suspended hanging. From what it sounds like, you just kinda go unconscious until your body starts flailing like a magicarp.
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>>26003292
Actually, here's a note I wrote up on it https://www.evernote.com/shard/s369/sh/848f3351-df6a-4634-8487-daa4b95866e3/f6470bb91f342efa9e90f6851ccbbf26

It ain't much, plus my hand writing is really bad, and there's a second half of it, but my names on it sooo, and some of the note is cut off, but hopefully it'll help
>>
>>26003388
Alright, godspeed anon. I have a few more things to add to my suicide note and my will, hopefully I'll join you by the end of this week
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>>26003305
It's Dingus.
>>
>>26001295

Stop being a faggot. Kill yourself or don't.
All this bullshit about fucking wire coat-hangers.
Buy a fucking mask and some helium, nigger.
>>
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>>26003144
>not embracing the love of Christ

Have Faith
>>
>>26003498
I-I mean "Dongus".
>>
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>>26002908
>>26002877

>implying you are oldfags and /b/tards
>implying /b/tards come on here and that /r9k/ isn't filled with failed/failing normies
>implying 4chan was good at some point

Nice bait, you retarded niggers.
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