Seriously. Every time I have a drink (even if it's just one shot), or smoke, or do anything (I'm not that experienced when it comes to drugs; only recently tried molly and I'm 22), I feel more empathetic, moral, and willing to generally give a shit about anything.
I have an addictive personality (cigarettes for a while (quit 2 years ago); smoke weed a lot), but I can't say I'm addicted to anything at the moment.
When I get in my zone, though, I feel truly alive. It doesn't happen to me when I'm sober. When I'm sober, everything feels dull, bland, boring, and painfully, painfully, average.
My life is really shitty- to me, anyway.
Even when I'm doing exciting things or just hanging out with friends.
I always feel insecure or unsure of what I'm doing when I'm straight. When I'm under the influence, I feel more human, and more like my true self.
I can't say I necessarily don't want to be like this, because being under an influence is fun, and I'm not the type to get completely fucked and black out- no matter what drug is in question, but I feel like it shouldn't be this way.
Sorry for the blog, but can anyone else relate?
>took one shot, but it was a big one and I knocked it back hard and teared up a little before chasing it with iced tea
>feelin gr8 senpai
At first when resistance hasn't overtaken yet
It felt amazing
Then all goes to shit, I only want more and more
And feel apathetic when imcnot on it, if anything it made me less human
As long as you're not harming anybody else with your lifestyle, and you're responsible with your drug use, why should it matter?
There's the matter of personal accountability that isn't being taken into consideration. People are REALLY irresponsible, but educating them is still a viable solution to abuse and overdoses. Fully agree.
Drugs are literally a trip, and if you're careless you can end up in some pretty bad places (especially with alcohol and opiates).
I suggest psychedelics. They might even help you come to terms with your shitty life.
Psychedelics have embedded a paranoid delusion in me that sometimes kicks in full force if I get too high. It fucking sucks.
>There's the matter of personal accountability that isn't being taken into consideration. People are REALLY irresponsible, but educating them is still a viable solution to abuse and overdoses.
Education is a useful tool, but no, it can't eliminate abuse or overdoses or addiction.
Drugs literally change who you are.
1. Who you are = your personality
2. Your personality is dependent upon your brain state/makeup
3. Drugs literally change your brain state/makeup
T: Drugs change who you are.
We're basically robots, and drugs are like a patch. The patch changes our programming, and sometimes that ends up being for the worse.
>psychedelics fucked me up
>I suggest psychedelics
welp, withdrawing from benzos is really fun. you hallucinate. It's really awesome.
Withdrawing from alcohol sucks, you get the shakes and anxiety, its awful
Withdrawing from opiates is the worst, its just hell on earth worst withdrawal ever.
Withdrawaling from uppers is weird, its like a state of moderate psychosis, close to benzos but not as bad.
Withdrawing from love made me attempt suicide.
>mr. robot pseudo bullshit
You can patch yourself again until you fit well
also pic related
Well, it is obviously easier to be a "good human" when you are pumped with dopamine. There is obviously a reason why there are addicts. The biggest problem of drugs is that you will lose sensitivity over time and the dopamine drops next day get harder and harder.
I also started out like you and all seemed good in the world, drinking and smoking pot with buddies was always good fun and I was able to truly lay back. But now I feel shit no matter how much I drink, to the point of puking and a crushing wave of mind numbing depression rolls over me the next day every time.
I always wished that I could drown out things in something, but it seems impossible to me. My body seems to always learn and does not fall for my tricks after a time. But I am also coming from a familly of tragic addicts, my fingers do not suffice to count all the familly members who dies from alcohol abuse and its complications, so take my words with a grain of salt.