/Depression & Anxiety General/

I used to be depressed until I went over the edge one day, and thought about killing myself now I don't feel anything no happiness no anger no disheartened feeling just a blissful apathy, days just feel like a long Sunday afternoon now

>University therapist is fucking useless, but at least admits that he can't do much about my problem
>tells me to attend a social anxiety meeting
>knowing it won't help my schizotypal personality disorder, which is what is causing it
>too afraid of the social anxiety meeting because I know they will all be normies and it won't help
>too beta to tell them all my problems
Right now trying to get in with this psychiatrist not far away, since at least they can give me meds.

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>>25982757
general/social anxiety, depression, bipolar, panic disorder and some other issues here

only taking klonopin right now, had a bad reaction to nearly every other commonly prescribed psychiatric medication. Also after doing some reading on pharmacology I have decided to give up on serotonergic and adrenal drugs, they're just not worth it.

I'm considering giving tianeptine a try, it's a glutamate modulator (AMPA and NMDA) that's believed to increase BDNF and assist in hippocampal growth, also it's a minor opioid agonist and serotonin reuptake enchancer.
seems like a promising medication.

anyone else have any alternative drug reccomendations?

>>25982757
Reposting because relevant:

I'm 28 and have nothing to show for it except for a worthless BA in political science.

I'm going to a psychologist right now. It's been like 3 months and the guy doesn't seem to know what is wrong with me. Maybe because I havent been that open about my feelings

Anyway, I've been feeling worse despite doing more. I recently got a job (near min wage and part time) and I'm going back to school, but I feel terrible and cry occasionally. I think it might have something to do with me facing the reality of how much of a loser I am, and how much I've missed out being a shut in most of my life. In high school and in college I'd basically go to class and then lock myself in my room. I really want to go back to that sort of life, but that would probably mean just kicking the can down the road.

Maybe things will get better after this rough patch? Maybe this is some sort of psychological plateau that one has to struggle through? That's what I feel like it is, but I don't see how things are going to change down the road.

>>25982757
No more money for ssri

I were on Zoloft last month and I dont feel their lovely grasp on my lobes anymore.

Self medicating atm. Its nice but scary enough to cancel out the damn drugs. Brute forcing the problems right now. Biggest issue is this add. Its the fucking reason why I have no meds now.

WHY DO I EXIST FUCK

>>25982968
How did being on zoloft feel? I'm on lexapro right now for anxiety and it's kinda doing fuck all for it so far. But I am happier, though I don't care about that. I kind of just want to shut my over active brain up and dull my shit.

I'm fucking crashing anons.

Right now I'm on 15 mg of Abilify, 72mg of Concerta, 10mg of trintilex and 5mg of Clonaz as needed.

My personal life is falling all around me. My girlfriend is fed up with my spaghetti and I've started self harming again. It's only going to get worse as things get worse in my life and i'm scared. I haven't felt so angry and detatched since the last time I did something really stupid and wound up in the hospital. i just desperately want to give up and die because I don't think I`ll ever understand human emotions...

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>25983005
not that poster
but I've been on both

They're quite similar, zoloft has minor action as a dopamine reuptake inhibitor, so it might cause some minor stimulation. All SSRI's are going to have very similar effects.

> I kind of just want to shut my over active brain up and dull my shit.
perhaps try an antipsychotic if you're not worried about losing mental power
benzos would also accomplish this (and would also be much more pleasant)

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I finally broke down and decided to go to the campus Pysch services after a year of slipping slowly into apathy.

They told me I was moderately urgent and I could get an appointment in about a week.

>immediately recognized as having Asperger's Tendencies
>Probably a sperg

>>25983005
Made me feel like a robot.

I couldn't cry I couldn't feel any sadness and everything had a nice warm glow to it which made me question if my feels are false or not.. Shit was fucking bliss.

After 6 weeks I could feel again but I'm not an overly emotional faggot like before the meds. I became a bit more physically playful too.

Some iffy helpful advice would be to try and work with the meds and open up to people if you go out a lot. If you dont go out a lot then try to. Dont be afraid anon.

My head stopped running in Max 9 mode once I calmed down and let the meds take me

>>25983098
>immediately recognized as having Asperger's Tendencies

Got told this when I went to a family therapy session. sucks man.

>>25983232
>>25983098
What gave it away?
For me it were genuinely laughing peoples suffering and slap humor and I never noticed how literal I take shit.

I'll be dammed if I'm labeled retarded though. The retarded awkward situation between peers would shame the shit I went through in high shcool

>>25983282
I think
Stilted, overly formal language.
Poor eye contact
dont have many interests.
sort of flat affect

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>>25982757
>tfw my tinnitus and jaw clenching is coming back

>>25982864
>general/social anxiety, depression, bipolar, panic disorder

Sounds like me desu

Taking/Took:

GAD & Depression initial diagnosis

Escitalopram (Lexapro)
Venlafaxine (Effexor)
Trazodone
Klonopin

(Psychotic break 6 months into SSRI therapy, diagnosed as Bipolar I)

Bipolar I diagnosis medication:
Depakote
Risperidone
Lithium Carbonate
Seroquel
Abilify

Taking currrently: none

I feel lucid now, but numb. The only thing that's made me feel remotely happy is good ol' trans-delta 9-thc

>tfw I want to smoke weed but don't want to risk triggering schizophrenia

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Ive been miserable all month I tried telling myself that 2016 was the year I was gonna change everything
I have no motivation

I wish I had depression instead of anxiety

I'm constantly anxious about what people think about me since I used to be extremely overweight. I dropped over 100 pounds after high school but can't shake the feeling of being ugly and unattractive. The worst part is, nothing changed for me socially after losing it all, so I have a hard time staying motivated to even remain healthy. Women pay me no mind besides the hambeasts and uggos, even though my face looks decent for a guy.

Now, I'm becoming more bitter and jaded over modern dating and growing to resent women my age, further increasing the distance between me and entering a relationship. I go to concerts around campus hoping to meet someone like myself but so far I've only met vapid cunts and whales, it feels like every woman over a 6 is automatically taken. I'm about to just give up finding someone similar to me and just concede to loneliness.

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>>25984041
>tfw you have both

>>25984042
I get you anon. I'm not bitter at women, but I've given up all hope of ever being in a relationship. 2D fills the void in my heart.

>>25982757
I was depressed for about half a year. i couldnt feel joy or even sadness anymore, for a while straight up started beliving in absolute nonsense and feeling paranoid about everything. I heard voices when it got really bad. Skipped weeks worth of school and thought about suicide every 30 seconds. I dont even remember how it started, its not like my life was horrible. Dont know how i fixed it either, i just hope it doesnt come back.

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i've been on a steady decline again since september. i told myself i'd wait until my psychiatrist appointment in january and she'd help, but instead she just tried to push the same medication on me that made me shake so much that i was barely able to write. apparently i've already exhausted "pretty much every medication she's able to prescribe comfortably" in my 10 years of visiting her.
i booked an appointment with a psychiatrist this wednesday, i'm hoping she'll be able to help. i already lost my job and my only robot friend.

sorry for ranting. how are you guys?

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I have been a nervous depressed faggot since I was 13. It sort of just lingered and didn't pull me down too hard until senior year of high school.ever since I have just felt dumb and extremely retarded. I have always been shy but it has gotten worse, I never leave the house besides for school and even then I am always try to talk myself out of going.I am always afraid everyone is judging me and think I m a giant faggot.Whenever I speak to someone I always think they are doing it out of pity and actually hate me and are laughing to themselves like lol look at this faggot thinking he is funny or worth anything.Everything sounds foreign or made up to me, friends, relationships, happiness, stable families, going out, etc.I wish I could man up and end it.

>>25985501
This is almost exactly me. Idk what to do.

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not very good, friends.

my stress and anxiety is getting so bad that my body (especially neck) is starting to ache. i take prozac but it doesn't seem to help me very much. i'm just feeling more depressed lately.

i don't know what to do. it seems like every day something new happens to put me down emotionally even if i wake up with the mindset that i won't let myself get down or i try to change things.

these days it's starting to get a lot more difficult to talk myself out of just ending it and getting rid of the pain.

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It's bad and just getting worse. Everyday is more gray than the one before. I'm drowning with nothing left to hold onto. There are no more good days anymore. Everything is hard to do. I only eat once a day and almost never shower. I feel stupider these days. The depression has completely fogged my mind. I've felt it bad but never like this.

>>25982757
>constantly feeling like i have to pee when outside
that shit stopped me from doing so many things senpai but I'm going to the doc on monday
>inb4 it is just an uti

I'm not really depressed, I just seem to notice that every time I interact with people for more than a minute, either we both lose interest in each other and resort to awkward silence or I get rude and shitpost IRL. Every word a person says gets shat on by me. And I always try to get as much information as I can from people I'm interested in, sharing nothing, I just ask and listen. When I get close with people, twice a decade, I start to whine about every little single shit that bothers me (even when it doesn't, I whine with the sole purpose of attracting attention and spending time with people I like). And that rid me of about 3 potential friends.

>>25982853
sounds like you need some risperidone anon.

>>25983082
>risking getting addicted to benzos for a depressed/anxious person
It's like you want that robot to become a junkie

>>25985330
sounds like schizoaffective disorder.
It will come back, and it will come back harder and harder each time.
You need to see a psychiatrist, because evidence suggests that the earlier the intervention in this disease, the better the outcome.

>>25985501
>>25986152
go see a psych.
In the meantime, look up CBT.
Try any relaxation therapy.
write down your worries, and then schedule a time to worry about them. Outside of this time, try not to worry about them (sounds stupid but it does work).

>>25987019
I have thought about going, but honestly I don't know if it is worth it.I really don't believe I'm "messed up" enough to go and even if I did I fee like he would just laugh at me like "is that it?'.Plus I'm a broke neet can't afford it

>>25982757
>parents took me to a psychiatrist because they were worried about my NEET life
>got tested for aspergers, turns out I'm not a sperg, just depression and social anxiety
>sent me to psychiatry
>get diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder and disthymia
>get sertraline (SSRI) up to 150 mg

I quit the drug soon after leaving that clinic because I didn't do anything besides some annoying side effects, also didn't make any effort to look for a psychologist.
still a hopeless NEET piece of shit, my parents are going to kick me out soon

I quit

Reminder to all robots suffering depression/anxiety:
non-pharm has been shown to work just as well as drugs do. Some of it you can even do without a psych.

This includes the following things:
getting up at a reasonable hour (and NOT staying up watching porn till midnight procrastinating going to sleep and back to the clinic you hate, like I am now)
having a schedule for the day
having a to do list
Writing a worry list and try to worry about it only in allotted time
Exercise (even just walking outside for 10 minutes)
leaving the house
decent food (not hotpockets for every meal)
if you have an aversion to doing something, you have to NOT avoid it. Find an easier version of the thing you can't do, and then do it. Then increase the difficulty of the thing, eg; say it was going shopping, you would first go outside, then when comfortable go to a busy street, then go inside the shop when it is not busy, then go when it is busy

and of course an excellent source of help is family/friend support, although this one is going to be difficult if not impossible for true robots. But you can always talk here, to everyone else going through similar things.


I hope that some of you can begin to implement some of these things.
These illnesses never truly leave us, but together we can beat the black dog of depression.

t. depressed med student repeating his mental health rotation because he failed his oral exam, ironically due to depression and anxiety.

>>25986225
You need to try a different medication anon it sounds like the prozac isnt working right. I take venlafaxine, i thought i could go without it and among many other things, my body ached from being so tense and i had trouble with breathing. But when i went back on it it subsided quickly. If that aching isnt going away then you should find a better drug for you senpai

>>25987156
Depressed med student here again

For pharm measures, SSRI's are first line.
lexapro is p good for depression and anxiety, they are my go to drug and I am on it myself. However, while each ssri should have the same effect, in practice they have a different side effect profile: different drugs give different side effects to different people.
The choice of pharm should be decided by the side effects YOU are experiencing. A trial should be done for 2 weeks, after which you review for the side effects.

Most of these drugs take weeks to months to truly kick in, and you get the most out of them if you do the things I outlined in my first post.
Which is why >>25987066 was an idiot for not trialing them for at least a few weeks to see the effects on his mood. Go back on your drugs for that long and see how you feel afterwards

Never stop taking the drugs suddenly, you will spiral into an even worse depression.
I forgot my lexapro for 2 days once and I almost killed myself.

I want to die now, because I have about 7 hours before I have to go back to the hospital and talk to people who are in a much worse state than me and pretend that I am completely 100% together to both the patients and the doctors.

>>25987236
I was on them for 2 months and almost the highest dosage

>>25987066
exactly the same happened to me

andthisisoriginal

My self conscious is killing itself slowly with depressing delusions that are usually 25% true.

Im also a fucking pessimist because of it.

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I finaly beat my anxiety about going to the dentist.

My tooth broke about year ago and I was terrbly afraid about telling this to anyone. Not the dentist itself, that doesn't seem so terrifying. Just the fact of telling my parents about it.

Also
>tfw your anxiety is giving you blood pressure problems
>tfw you're very likely in danger of a stroke due to stress
>need medication to not die in my 30's
>tfw too anxious to tell anyone about it and get help

JUST

I can't even bring myself to write more than this post. I want to die...

Wellbutrin keeps giving me these really intense and strange dreams.
Also makes me get a lot of sleep paralysis, which makes me afraid to sleep sometimes.
I'm looking for a really good owner for my cat, then I'm gonna an hero.
Fuck this place

>>25983863
Escitalopram here. Also use Zyprexa 5 mg.

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>>25987236
>Dr.Shillstein here, totally not a Jew!
>SSRI's are yum yum yummy! Run down to your local doctor and get you a prescription!

Pic is you

>>25988330
SSRIs can't and won't work for everyone who's depressed

If you seriously think that antidepressants are completely ineffective for everyone, I've got a bridge to sell you in brooklyn

>>25988558
>Jew York
You can't even hide your Judaism, can you?

And no antidepressant works.
The only thing that works is death

>best friend moved away yesterday
>went over to his place literally every single day
>I go months without seeing most of my other friends

;_;

I need to get out of this town. I need to restart my life somewhere. I don't like my job and I won't be any more alone there than I feel now

>>25988730
What country do you live in?
If you're in cucknadia, we should buddy up.

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>>25988695
It's a saying you dip

Maybe when you grow out of your /pol/ phase you'll be able to come up with something better than "muh jewish psychiatry" and "muh jewish antidepressants"

Maybe they didn't work for you
Maybe they didn't work for someone you know
Most likely, you're talking out of your ass to be edgy and have never actually been on antidepressants

Either way, you're a puerile loser and a sad cunt
Probably going to die a sad and lonely cunt too

I may be bipolar, schizoaffective, and depressed but at least I'll never be as pathetic as you

t. mentally ill person who tried and discontinued SSRIs

>>25988751
Wisconsin. Close but no cigar

>>25988934
I've been on wellbutrin, Zoloft, lexapro, prozac, bunch of shitty MAOI's, and a few when I was a kid, don't remember the names.
Don't you dare fucking say I don't know what life is like on antidepressants.
Go fuck yourself with a menorah, you hook nosed foreskin harvesting kike.

>>25989043
>my subjective experience is true for everyone

mate, antidepressants didn't work for me either
They killed my dick, fogged my mind, and made me numb
You don't hear me blaming "da joos"

Stop being a bitter racist cunt

You sound like a fucking child who just discovered and parrots /pol/ memes

I wanna move out so I don't have to deal with my moms toxic influence, but I need money. To get money I have to work long hours at my shitty customer service job, and I get beat panic attacks just going to work, let alone being there. My issues have been getting even worse, so it would be good to see a shrink. If I see a shrink, it will cost double because I'll have to pay, and take time off work to do it. Less time working means less money which means living with mom longer and suffering. In order to ease my suffering, I have to make choices that delay my ultimate goal and only hope. I have to choose when I want to suffer, and it feels awful. Would I rather suffer horribly every day for the sake of meeting my goal earlier, or would I rather give myself temporary comfort but delay what I really need even further? In tired of waiting for everything I need, rowboats.