I used to be depressed until I went over the edge one day, and thought about killing myself now I don't feel anything no happiness no anger no disheartened feeling just a blissful apathy, days just feel like a long Sunday afternoon now
>University therapist is fucking useless, but at least admits that he can't do much about my problem >tells me to attend a social anxiety meeting >knowing it won't help my schizotypal personality disorder, which is what is causing it >too afraid of the social anxiety meeting because I know they will all be normies and it won't help >too beta to tell them all my problems Right now trying to get in with this psychiatrist not far away, since at least they can give me meds.
>>25982757 general/social anxiety, depression, bipolar, panic disorder and some other issues here
only taking klonopin right now, had a bad reaction to nearly every other commonly prescribed psychiatric medication. Also after doing some reading on pharmacology I have decided to give up on serotonergic and adrenal drugs, they're just not worth it.
I'm considering giving tianeptine a try, it's a glutamate modulator (AMPA and NMDA) that's believed to increase BDNF and assist in hippocampal growth, also it's a minor opioid agonist and serotonin reuptake enchancer. seems like a promising medication.
anyone else have any alternative drug reccomendations?
I'm 28 and have nothing to show for it except for a worthless BA in political science.
I'm going to a psychologist right now. It's been like 3 months and the guy doesn't seem to know what is wrong with me. Maybe because I havent been that open about my feelings
Anyway, I've been feeling worse despite doing more. I recently got a job (near min wage and part time) and I'm going back to school, but I feel terrible and cry occasionally. I think it might have something to do with me facing the reality of how much of a loser I am, and how much I've missed out being a shut in most of my life. In high school and in college I'd basically go to class and then lock myself in my room. I really want to go back to that sort of life, but that would probably mean just kicking the can down the road.
Maybe things will get better after this rough patch? Maybe this is some sort of psychological plateau that one has to struggle through? That's what I feel like it is, but I don't see how things are going to change down the road.
>>25982968 How did being on zoloft feel? I'm on lexapro right now for anxiety and it's kinda doing fuck all for it so far. But I am happier, though I don't care about that. I kind of just want to shut my over active brain up and dull my shit.
Right now I'm on 15 mg of Abilify, 72mg of Concerta, 10mg of trintilex and 5mg of Clonaz as needed.
My personal life is falling all around me. My girlfriend is fed up with my spaghetti and I've started self harming again. It's only going to get worse as things get worse in my life and i'm scared. I haven't felt so angry and detatched since the last time I did something really stupid and wound up in the hospital. i just desperately want to give up and die because I don't think I`ll ever understand human emotions...
They're quite similar, zoloft has minor action as a dopamine reuptake inhibitor, so it might cause some minor stimulation. All SSRI's are going to have very similar effects.
> I kind of just want to shut my over active brain up and dull my shit. perhaps try an antipsychotic if you're not worried about losing mental power benzos would also accomplish this (and would also be much more pleasant)
I'm constantly anxious about what people think about me since I used to be extremely overweight. I dropped over 100 pounds after high school but can't shake the feeling of being ugly and unattractive. The worst part is, nothing changed for me socially after losing it all, so I have a hard time staying motivated to even remain healthy. Women pay me no mind besides the hambeasts and uggos, even though my face looks decent for a guy.
Now, I'm becoming more bitter and jaded over modern dating and growing to resent women my age, further increasing the distance between me and entering a relationship. I go to concerts around campus hoping to meet someone like myself but so far I've only met vapid cunts and whales, it feels like every woman over a 6 is automatically taken. I'm about to just give up finding someone similar to me and just concede to loneliness.
>>25982757 I was depressed for about half a year. i couldnt feel joy or even sadness anymore, for a while straight up started beliving in absolute nonsense and feeling paranoid about everything. I heard voices when it got really bad. Skipped weeks worth of school and thought about suicide every 30 seconds. I dont even remember how it started, its not like my life was horrible. Dont know how i fixed it either, i just hope it doesnt come back.
i've been on a steady decline again since september. i told myself i'd wait until my psychiatrist appointment in january and she'd help, but instead she just tried to push the same medication on me that made me shake so much that i was barely able to write. apparently i've already exhausted "pretty much every medication she's able to prescribe comfortably" in my 10 years of visiting her. i booked an appointment with a psychiatrist this wednesday, i'm hoping she'll be able to help. i already lost my job and my only robot friend.
I have been a nervous depressed faggot since I was 13. It sort of just lingered and didn't pull me down too hard until senior year of high school.ever since I have just felt dumb and extremely retarded. I have always been shy but it has gotten worse, I never leave the house besides for school and even then I am always try to talk myself out of going.I am always afraid everyone is judging me and think I m a giant faggot.Whenever I speak to someone I always think they are doing it out of pity and actually hate me and are laughing to themselves like lol look at this faggot thinking he is funny or worth anything.Everything sounds foreign or made up to me, friends, relationships, happiness, stable families, going out, etc.I wish I could man up and end it.
It's bad and just getting worse. Everyday is more gray than the one before. I'm drowning with nothing left to hold onto. There are no more good days anymore. Everything is hard to do. I only eat once a day and almost never shower. I feel stupider these days. The depression has completely fogged my mind. I've felt it bad but never like this.
I'm not really depressed, I just seem to notice that every time I interact with people for more than a minute, either we both lose interest in each other and resort to awkward silence or I get rude and shitpost IRL. Every word a person says gets shat on by me. And I always try to get as much information as I can from people I'm interested in, sharing nothing, I just ask and listen. When I get close with people, twice a decade, I start to whine about every little single shit that bothers me (even when it doesn't, I whine with the sole purpose of attracting attention and spending time with people I like). And that rid me of about 3 potential friends.
>>25985330 sounds like schizoaffective disorder. It will come back, and it will come back harder and harder each time. You need to see a psychiatrist, because evidence suggests that the earlier the intervention in this disease, the better the outcome.
>>25985501 >>25986152 go see a psych. In the meantime, look up CBT. Try any relaxation therapy. write down your worries, and then schedule a time to worry about them. Outside of this time, try not to worry about them (sounds stupid but it does work).
>>25987019 I have thought about going, but honestly I don't know if it is worth it.I really don't believe I'm "messed up" enough to go and even if I did I fee like he would just laugh at me like "is that it?'.Plus I'm a broke neet can't afford it
>>25982757 >parents took me to a psychiatrist because they were worried about my NEET life >got tested for aspergers, turns out I'm not a sperg, just depression and social anxiety >sent me to psychiatry >get diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder and disthymia >get sertraline (SSRI) up to 150 mg
I quit the drug soon after leaving that clinic because I didn't do anything besides some annoying side effects, also didn't make any effort to look for a psychologist. still a hopeless NEET piece of shit, my parents are going to kick me out soon
Reminder to all robots suffering depression/anxiety: non-pharm has been shown to work just as well as drugs do. Some of it you can even do without a psych.
This includes the following things: getting up at a reasonable hour (and NOT staying up watching porn till midnight procrastinating going to sleep and back to the clinic you hate, like I am now) having a schedule for the day having a to do list Writing a worry list and try to worry about it only in allotted time Exercise (even just walking outside for 10 minutes) leaving the house decent food (not hotpockets for every meal) if you have an aversion to doing something, you have to NOT avoid it. Find an easier version of the thing you can't do, and then do it. Then increase the difficulty of the thing, eg; say it was going shopping, you would first go outside, then when comfortable go to a busy street, then go inside the shop when it is not busy, then go when it is busy
and of course an excellent source of help is family/friend support, although this one is going to be difficult if not impossible for true robots. But you can always talk here, to everyone else going through similar things.
I hope that some of you can begin to implement some of these things. These illnesses never truly leave us, but together we can beat the black dog of depression.
t. depressed med student repeating his mental health rotation because he failed his oral exam, ironically due to depression and anxiety.
>>25986225 You need to try a different medication anon it sounds like the prozac isnt working right. I take venlafaxine, i thought i could go without it and among many other things, my body ached from being so tense and i had trouble with breathing. But when i went back on it it subsided quickly. If that aching isnt going away then you should find a better drug for you senpai
For pharm measures, SSRI's are first line. lexapro is p good for depression and anxiety, they are my go to drug and I am on it myself. However, while each ssri should have the same effect, in practice they have a different side effect profile: different drugs give different side effects to different people. The choice of pharm should be decided by the side effects YOU are experiencing. A trial should be done for 2 weeks, after which you review for the side effects.
Most of these drugs take weeks to months to truly kick in, and you get the most out of them if you do the things I outlined in my first post. Which is why >>25987066 was an idiot for not trialing them for at least a few weeks to see the effects on his mood. Go back on your drugs for that long and see how you feel afterwards
Never stop taking the drugs suddenly, you will spiral into an even worse depression. I forgot my lexapro for 2 days once and I almost killed myself.
I want to die now, because I have about 7 hours before I have to go back to the hospital and talk to people who are in a much worse state than me and pretend that I am completely 100% together to both the patients and the doctors.
I finaly beat my anxiety about going to the dentist.
My tooth broke about year ago and I was terrbly afraid about telling this to anyone. Not the dentist itself, that doesn't seem so terrifying. Just the fact of telling my parents about it.
Also >tfw your anxiety is giving you blood pressure problems >tfw you're very likely in danger of a stroke due to stress >need medication to not die in my 30's >tfw too anxious to tell anyone about it and get help
Wellbutrin keeps giving me these really intense and strange dreams. Also makes me get a lot of sleep paralysis, which makes me afraid to sleep sometimes. I'm looking for a really good owner for my cat, then I'm gonna an hero. Fuck this place
>>25988934 I've been on wellbutrin, Zoloft, lexapro, prozac, bunch of shitty MAOI's, and a few when I was a kid, don't remember the names. Don't you dare fucking say I don't know what life is like on antidepressants. Go fuck yourself with a menorah, you hook nosed foreskin harvesting kike.
I wanna move out so I don't have to deal with my moms toxic influence, but I need money. To get money I have to work long hours at my shitty customer service job, and I get beat panic attacks just going to work, let alone being there. My issues have been getting even worse, so it would be good to see a shrink. If I see a shrink, it will cost double because I'll have to pay, and take time off work to do it. Less time working means less money which means living with mom longer and suffering. In order to ease my suffering, I have to make choices that delay my ultimate goal and only hope. I have to choose when I want to suffer, and it feels awful. Would I rather suffer horribly every day for the sake of meeting my goal earlier, or would I rather give myself temporary comfort but delay what I really need even further? In tired of waiting for everything I need, rowboats.
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