>>25978889 >>25979098 Many women have no issue "acting like men" when it's convenient and gets them ahead. But they also want you to Man Up and pamper them when it's also convenient for them. Figures.
Thing is, I don't mind messaging first or initiating. I do those things because it makes sense to try.
What bothers me is dating profiles that tell me to message first or point out that she won't message first. Leaves an awful first impression and really turns me off. Same with any variation of "I want to be charmed" "I want a gentleman" etc.
I completely understand that by taking the initiative I risk getting involved with a spoiled woman like this. But when they just announce that they're spoiled, entitled shits I can't deal with it. After I get to know you, I'll decide whether or not I want to treat you real special. Not before.
It means you're confused because you fell for the equality meme. Most of us have been there, it's pretty normal to make that mistake. In reality, men and women are not at all interchangeable in how they think or behave. Much like how the egg just sits there and the sperm have to actually rush over and compete so one can make it in to fertilize it, women are by nature passive and have no motivation nor incentive to actually approach men for dating. It's expected the man will do this, which we would by nature except a lot of us got fucked up by the equality meme and through rational understanding of this meme came to believe it was just as valid for us to get messaged by women on dating sites as it was for them to get messaged by men.
tldr: You should ignore social conditioning / rational thought and go with your instincts, men naturally make the moves on women, not vice versa.
If its a dating site that lets you view whose viewed your profile she is upset that some attractive men are viewing her profile and not messaging. She will rationalize this to herself that shes just too intimidating or that the men were too scared to message first. She probably messaged a few of them and never heard back, her fragile ego couldn't handle this so she just wont be the one to initiate the conversation because then there is no way that any one she talks to wont have some interest in her and validate her on some level.
>>25979751 >which we would by nature except a lot of us got fucked up by the equality meme and through rational understanding of this meme came to believe it was just as valid for us to get messaged by women on dating sites as it was for them to get messaged by men.
I don't really think this is true.
If men truly were hard wired to pursue women for relationships (not sex, but relationships) then I don't think it'd be as easy for the feminism boogeyman or whatever to fuck us over and make us act/behave differently. If it was so hardcoded into the male brain to pursue women and be the dominant one then it wouldn't be so easy to fuck up, at least I don't think so.
I'm not completely disagreeing with the evolutionary perspective, I just don't think it is always the right answer.
I think there's more than one possible explanation for the way things are. I wouldn't recommend for any guy to sit around and wait for women to message first, but that's purely because sitting around and waiting for things to happen is almost always a weak approach. Unless he's exceptionally good looking and wealthy, in which case holy shit! Look at how many women are willing to ignore their "biology" and be the ones to approach the guy!
>women are by nature passive and have no motivation nor incentive to actually approach men for dating. But I have these same feelings myself, as a Man. What burned me out of dating and makes me lose motivation to go out and meet women is poor experiences with them; poor relationships, getting stood up, disrespected, dumped, etc. Women also have these feelings. Conversely, women and men can both be motivated to go out and meet each other and form relationships, when they're not shackled by bitter resentment or fears of rejection/stewing over who should approach first.
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