post ITT if you're too mentally ill to ever be in a serious relationship
i'm pretty sure i would commit suicide if i ever got into a long-term relationship because i'll never be able to satisfy her emotional needs more than someone else
I can't seem to value other caring about me, emotional co dependence is a drain, I like to be alone, I'm shut off emotionally because I deal wit it all my self, I am really interested in my hobbies so conversations would run dry unless we have shit in common and I'm introverted.
I hold no value to a woman, and I hold almost no value in relationships.
Good thing it will all be over soon.
I'm very clingy and dependent. If someone I loved deeply cheated on me, I think that would be the motivation I need to blow my fucking head off.
So I tend to distance myself from people, juuust in case this happens.
I always tend to creep out or bore my love interests.
It's hard being clingy and loving yet so boring. I should've just been born a girl desu.
i cant even walk outside without feeling awkward. how am i suppossed to have intimacy with another person?
jk im not.
I can relate. Even when girls like me, I always feel like I am bothering them when I try to talk to them especially when I text them. Girls flirt with me occasionally, but I have given up a reciprocating. I have also never met a girl I could truly relate to, I feel like girls have a different type of morals from men. They see the world differently.
I've been thinking about this as well. I'm too shy and anxious to be with people so the idea of actually having a girlfriend is so alien that I wouldn't know what to do if I somehow managed to obtain one. I've been called cute by girls (non-relatives), but I fear the "shy nerdy guy" appeal of me would get boring really fast and she would then realize that I'm the least interesting person in the world.
The only solution is to have a gf who's just as inexperienced and anxious as me, and we all know girls like that don't exist. Someone who would be totally ok with sitting in silence through the whole day while playing computer games. Someone who doesn't expect much from me, because I can't give anything else except feels, and despite all the love songs telling that's enough I just know that's not really enough.
I have avoidant personality disorder. So unless a girl knocks on my front door and says "hello I am your soulmate and I know you're a nervous wreck but I love you despite all your flaws" I'll probably never have a girlfriend.
I'm too submissive. I'm submissive to a pathetic degree. My only future is as a pet. And that is not sustainable. Women get bored, women want real relationships, and suddenly they have this pathetic guy in their house that does chores and he gets kicked out onto the street.
I honestly don't think a woman could be even capable of loving me. If one expressed interest, I'd be more suspicious than I'd be happy.
I'm not remotely interesting, funny, attractive, or well off.
My life is a boring, stagnant wasteland for everyone involved with me.
I don't blame other people for not liking me. It's entirely my fault for being such an unlovable piece of shit.
Not that I enjoy this life, or anything. I'm just incapable of changing myself.
I'm an inept human being.
I'm scared I would come across as clingy. I want to feel close to someone. Having someone love me as much or more than I love them feels like an impossibility - not because I feel that I'm unlovable, but precisely because I need to love so very much.
The things I enjoy doing don't make for an exciting relationship. No girl likes staying inside all day. Why would she? That's a crazy expectation of someone.
>I somehow make her interested in me
>I start being clingy because never had a serious relationship
>she either starts getting annoyed, bored, or creeped out
Every. Fucking. Time.
>look at me, i have a disease that doesnt affect my social reach and intimacy with others and I have a girlfriend, unlike you guys with mental illnessess of the aforementioned nature!
posts like this are like dangling raw meat in front of starving dogs
I'm either a schizoid or an aspie
either way I'm never going to be in a relationship
I don't really care much anyways
Sometimes I wish I was a girl.
In the relationship, girls are in charge of physical and emotional pleasure. That's my specialty. I can't do the heavy lifting required of the man.
I guess so. I'm a 24 year old NEET. I've already given up on all of my hopes and dreams. Any effort on my part would be playing catch-up with the society that failed me. I could spend the remainder of my life just trying to catch up. It's too late for me now.
>get into relationship
>spend the entire relationship vomiting from stress because I'm terrified of getting cheated on
>relationship one: she cheated on me
>relationship two: I cheated on her
>current relationship: he's asexual
>I'm terrified of getting cheated on
>relationship two: I cheated on her
Do online relationships ever work out?
I don't mean dating sites, I mean other online relationships.
It's honestly the only out I see for myself. Meet a nice person from the safety of my computer, hope they're not disgusted by my face, hope they're not a serial killer or cheating on me when we finally meet up.
I'm too overprotective and go full psycho if someone touched my girl
Even i have a waifu right now and i go full psycho when someone sexualizes her
>Met a fat cute girl in an mmo at 13
>We're together for seven years
>I develop Crohn's
>surgery, hormonal steroids
>working at an engineering internship full time in an unfamiliar place, no social contact with anyone else
>fatigued and constant pain from illness, depression amplified with drugs
>come home from work and go straight to bed, no energy for anything else
>become distant with gril
>she tells me she "doesn't love me any more"
>obviously seeing someone else, doesn't admit it for a while
>cling on for a little while, but give up.
>make contact again while I'm back in hospital for more extreme surgery
>she takes it all back and professes her love again and grovels
>I lap it up, take her back
>she just cuts contact again a week after I get out of hospital and go straight back to work
>eventually starts talking again few months later
>no apologies, no excuses, no explanations
>she starts "dating" this 47 year old who works at her college
>loses her virginity to him
>I'm still, still clinging to her
I fucking hate her
I fucking love her
I fucking hate that if not for my disease and incompetant doctors, we'd still be together
I fucking hate the alcoholic typical normie fuck she's become without me
If they are obviously hurting you do your best to leave them. Find someone who loves you, not someone who will let you stick your dangly dongus in them and then go get more dangly dongles. Also online relationships can work but you HAVE to be patient because crazy and insane fucking shit can and will happen.
Here you guys in this thread want to have some social interaction? Make some fucking throwaway skypes or emails and just text chat and if it does not work out then whatever you still got to interact and maybe get friends.
I think there's hope for me out there yet. I'm not throwing in any towels.
Well shit, I was always searching for opportunities to visit her - but by the time I could afford that sort of thing, I was spending every single holiday in hospital. It just never happened. That's what kills me, we were so close and it never came together.
how are you boring?
What do you do?
Do you feel emotions?
Do you want to feel emotions?
If you are alive at least you are moldable so you can learn to enjoy anything or become anything.
Being nothing is almost better than being something the gates are numerous and varied for you.
No emotions? Have fun learning all of them again and feeling amazing stimulus again.
I've had a serious relationship before been in love and have had sex.
That all led to me getting cucked and abandoned by my ex and all of my friends.
It also made me go fucking psycho.
I'm fine with not being in a serious relationship. I've already experienced sex and love so there's no need to continue.
Besides I'm 22 now and any women my age will have had 6 plus sex partners with all bigger dicks than me.
This knowledge will torture my mind.
This tbqh, I'm so uninteresting, I can't even make online friends, why would someone then want an actual relationship with me
British schizoid reporting in. Haven't maintained social contact with anyone but family for 4 years now. Hopefully my psychiatrist can greenlight a personal independence check before I go insane/become too poor to hold a living space.
I'm not going to be one of those cliche that are like well you obviously like anime or something like that and you obviously want something because you feel something. You have heard that before yeah I know but l need you to know that some people like boring people or just someone to be there for them to be like hey how you doing? You do not provide a service in a relationship in the sense that you are an object. YOU serve as a person to love or appreciate for your qualities. Not everyone is interesting or cares. Normies aint "normal" they're silly and happy. Being content works out for so many people.
I don't have any real interests and am spending most of my time actually doing nothing, so I don't really know about what I should talk with people. And not talking with people also means that I never developed real conversation skills
Sorry about that. I could tell you to be optimistic but it is your choice to do so and might be hard. If it ever gets too bad make sure you hit up suicide hotlines or find soup kitchens etc. Never give up if you felt happy once because you CAN feel it again if you try.
I don't know if I am. I daydream sometimes about having a gf, but when I start really thinking about it, it scares me. There couldn't possibly be a girl who would be into ME of all people. Of all the Chads and normies out there, she chose ME. Can you believe that shit? I don't have anything to offer that another guy has more of.
I have no money.
I don't blame anyone but myself. I'm broken lmao.
>Why can't you make online friends?
I'm not him, but I honestly find it harder than interacting in real life. In real life, people are more accommodating because you're standing right there and they can see your body cues and facial cues and see you're clearly uncomfortable and anxious. If they're extroverted, they can play off it and make me feel more comfortable.
Online friends are a whole different ballgame. It's only text, so there's no cues, no inflection, you don't even see the other person. It's hard. Sometimes I just stop responding because I get overwhelmed and can't think of anything good to say. I've logged off mid conversation because I start to lose my shit.
Also, you have to be interesting. In real life people can take you places and do things with you, online you have to talk about yourself and share experiences and thoughts about yourself. I'm a NEET that sits in his room all day. I don't have anything exciting or worthwhile to talk about. I feel like the conversations are so one-sided because everyone else is interesting and charismatic and I'm just sitting there not offering anything going "Yep. Uh uh. Wow, that's awesome! Really? Cool." and I have nothing of my own to say. And then there's the whole matter of having to message them first, not messaging them too much but they're so cool and nice you want to talk to them so much but they get weirded out because you're bothering them with your messages.
I love the idea of online friendship, but I don't have the qualities to maintain a good one. Often times people get bored of me and stop talking to me. Often times I remove people out of fear that they don't like me or think I'm a good friend to have. I've never kept a friend for more than 2 weeks tops. I'm fucked.
It's a combo for me.
I know I have problems from the only person in my life growing up not being much of a parent and instead being an alcoholic. I have trouble voicing my opinion, talking a lot, initiating conversation because I'm worried I'll bother the other person or they aren't going to care and junk like that. I'll also think they might get the idea I'm too clingy, but then if I don't initiate contact, they'll think I wasn't interested.
I haven't gone to any kind of doctor in eleven years, so I don't know if I seriously have some kind of mental disorder.
I do know that on top of the issues I have, my body is also becoming hideous from losing almost 130 lbs. I can't even feel like a woman for once in my life even losing the weight because I look so gross naked. It's starting to get bad enough that I think maybe I should just be fat because there are people with a fat fetish, but no one has a thing for floppy, disgusting skin and I imagine it's worse when my face looks much younger than my age.
I agree with this online friendships can really feel kind of dead at times even if its skype too but it is some form of interaction. Again as I have said to many people in this thread, find someone who will show you about some of their interests. Yes people can be assholes and say oh this person is boring whatever I am done with them. I do that thing where I feel like I post too many messages but if they can see that you truely just want to be happy then they will keep interacting. Just because you talk too much isnt a bad thing.
Hey. Don't know if you want a gf or a any gender friendo I could chat with you on a throwaway skype or gmail tomorrow btu I'm busy with college work right now but next weekend I could chat with you. Let me find my throwaway skype and if you want it let me know.
>thread about being too fucked to make friends
>everyone is making friends ITT
I wish someone who's more autistic than me could devise a "normie test" so we could weed out all normies and roasties from a skype group
I think it'd be fun tbqh
thanks for the nice sentiment but It's not that I'm really sad. I'm not happy, but I feel no negative emotion either. I feel like an actual robot, I have been assured that this is normal for my condition. Apparently inward schizoids like me are pretty safe from self harm and shit like that even in dire circumstances.
I just want to be alone, and that's somewhat taxing in this society. Thankful some people understand though. School was hell.
tfw you are above average,have money and your own place,....can play the guitar and loads of other shit
but adhd and being a total social retard cancels it all out.
since i had a shitty relationship 3 years ago other than banging an ex and another slag i stole of an ex mate its been a dry period for 3 years
i think i convinced myself i dont need a gf but really im just to afraid to get hurt again so i dont bother looking no more
My throwaway email desu and throaway skype desu. No voice chat on the first encounter.
Skype: Shin Enjoystostab
I am an avid fan of fist of the northstar yet I have not read the manga yet because holy fug college
The thing is that I don't have appreciatable qualities, I fail at everything
But that never happened, it is also hard for me to ask questions which makes the person to go on to talk about their stuff, everything I say just seems to end conversations
Anon, you perfectly sum it up, even the deleting people part, because you feel bad bothering them. I don't really want that other people force themselves to talk with me, because in the end it feels terrible for me too to see other person bored by the conversation
What if the person teaching you would know the general questions a person would ask and would not care if you did not contribute much as long as you were learning something? What if they did not mind spending time with you to do this? Also if this is bothering you by me asking let me know I do not want to make you do anything you do not want to do.
Crazy how robots are basically children when i comes to romantic experience.
By never managing to get a girlfriend, and shutting yourselves in your rooms to play videogames as teens, you never got o discover how relationships work alongside confused people of the opposite sex.
Now you've been left behind
The last relationship in, I lied and told them that I had family problems and couldn't handle a relationship. The real reason was I couldn't handle another person loving me and I had to devote all of that time to them.
Don't get me wrong. Relationships sound pretty nice, but I just couldn't put all of my efforts into one person and then have them (eventually) leave me in the dust.
let me go back in time with my time machine and beat up my abusive dad and give my child self plastic surgery
scratch that, let me go back even further and punch my pregnant mother in the stomach
That is completely fine. I can see that you were kind of just moving back and looking at how robots live their lives and how things happen to them. Yeah it can suck that if someone never learns anything and no one is willing to teach them literally nothing gets done.
my therapist and my doctor say i'm not aspergers, just really shy
but i feel like a sperg sometimes
i just don't know how to make a friend. every time someone on /r9k/ has offered to be my friend (which is incredibly nice and i appreciate it), i just get really scared and dodge it or talk to them for a little bit and then get scared and remove them
That would be great tbqh, but people rarely like to talk about themselves or teach something with no or terrible contribution from the audience. So ye, if that actually happens, it would be fantastic. And no problem to ask, answering stuff is better than not to do anything.
Well you can try psychologists. To tell the truth I do not think sex neccessarily has to involve that much with relationships. If you like someone enough you kind of just have a desire to hug or cuddle them or be near them. Of course im not gonna be that skrub who says "wow you dont wanna be near your love what are you gay?". Never judge but TLDR psychologists and if that doesnt work the internet.
Never heard of these email sites so a bit spooked from it. Sorry.
Well what I can say is it is always your decision to bail or not and whether you are comfortable in going through with staying friends with them but just know that I could talk to you about random stuff etc.
I could do that if you wanted to know about any animes or just activities I enjoy if you desired.
by the way I suck at shooters like touhou and know barely anything about them. I do like their music though. (idk how to embed) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_asG0vmsec
Also just a reminder my email and skype
This honestly. You do not need a love to live. You need to be happy to live find a way to find something that you want to live for be ambitious towards and feel good about. If you meet anyone in your life you live you should care about them and I am not saying you should just say "sorry im not gonna save you from that fire I want to live." They should then be the same priority as your enjoyment. If you do not want anyone currently thats fine but treat yourself.
I'd constantly question why they put up with me.
I don't offer anything that someone else can't provide.
i don't want anyone in my life. and it would be stupid because i can barely take care of myself, let alone a relationship or run a family.
i might get a dog if i ever move out of my moms house, but that's it. i've already embraced the fact that i will be alone for the rest of my life. and i prefer it that way actually.
I got into my relationship from suicide pact gone awry. They got better
If I can life for the sake of someone else's happiness, to make him happy, then I guess it's better than dying and being a burden.
Let me say something to everyone in this thread. If you are alive you can be loved. Dogs literally do fuck all except be loyal to people and they eat that shit up. You can unconditionally love someone despite how they look. despite how bad they are at something, despite how boring they maybe, and despite any flaws they may have. As long as you have a pulse and do not mind being near someone as a companion or a lover SOMEONE will want you. Take this for example. (hard fiction incoming)
>Be freezing to death in a cave in a snow storm
>Need warmth but campfire is slowly burning out.
>in the corner of eye see a 5'3" gray sphere rolling around
>sphere rolls up to you and is warm and lets you embrace it.
>you stay warm next to the sentient sphere that can not: speak, have emotions, is completely gray and "boring", and can basically not communicate at all.
>yet you embrace the sphere and sleep away the cold and live next night and take the sphere with you and are happy.
Literally if you are boring but can give affection or just live to BE you have hope. If you think you are worthless beyond belief and you think you have no use besides meat for ravens or crows then you would subjectively be wrong. You can be a companion and more than that an acquaintance and if a relationship forms a friend then past that a lover.
I will add you on skype and send you an email but I gotta sleep soon. Might chat some tomorrow.
My spare emails. also to reiterate to everyone throwaway is kind of a bad word for it. More of a side email
Aperger's with what co-morbiditys? Fucking sick of aspies acting like they've the weight of the world on their shoulders. I've aspergers too, but most people I know with it don't even have severe sensory issues, hell I'd say the ones that have anxiety don't even have it that severe, I don't know if they just like to blow everything out of proportion or what. Dog's are good though, I got one about 2 years ago and taking her out on walks is good social practice, I've basically had the exact same conversation with every old woman living within a five mile radius because of her.
TL;DR: If you're letting your disability rule your life you may as well an hero
But what happens when a 5'6" grey sphere rolls up?
Or a 6'1" multicolored sphere that's even softer and warmer?
Why would you stay with the first one? Because he was first? I wish people were that cut and dry.
>tfw hate emotional Intimacy
>tfw prefer being alone
>tfw don't like people attempting to break into my personal space
This is some serious internal conflict
>princess of autism
please tell me you're at least not self diagnosed
Just wanted to say, I linked her to this thread.
She wordlessly blocked me.
I think... I think this is alright. Time to find a new kind of nightmare, perhaps.
Thanks, all of you.
Holy shit. I knew this was going to happen. Here is what I would do if I was said dying cave person. I would be cut and dry because the sphere showed me affection first and I had an experience with it. Being in a cave dying slowly from freezing then being saved by something would make you feel something in you. Why would you leave the sphere that saved your life? Are you so dense that you would abandon your savior? Of course other spheres may have different qualitys that make them better but you can appreciate the flaws in your sphere because its what it is unique and on top of that you had a social experience with them that helped you bond.
"Unremarkable sphere" was my nickname in high school.
>Why would you leave the sphere that saved your life? Are you so dense that you would abandon your savior?
That sphere gave me the warmth and confidence I needed to seek out other spheres! It helped me in a time of crisis, and I'll always love it, but there's bigger and better spheres out there. It's for the best, honestly. You're a good reliable sphere, you'll find someone out there who needs you.
this is how my first and only relationship went. helped her lose weight, helped her find comfort in her own skin, helped her feel beautiful, she used her newfound beauty to dump me :)
But you gained something from it all right? You are alive now. If they wanted to see other people and you wanted the best for them you would you not let them do that? A world full of spheres means someone would not leave you. You just have to look and hold tightly to the sphere. Even then in a wolrd full of shapes there might be edgy triangles boring squares or crazy hexagons. Something will enjoy your presence enough to stay until death.
By the way friend. Dont treat another relationship as a nightmare go in hoping for the best and if the worst happens treat it as a vaccine. Become immune and you can walk through fire. (PS: dont try to beocme immune to fire)
im trans and ive developed attraction for an older sister
or motherlytype person to date and be my emotional support and teach me girl things and take care of me a-also to be dominant in the bedroom
is this too much of a mentally ill thing to want? i feel like it might not be common enough ever work out
I am sorry if I did not help. I realize much of my logic has flaws. I'm getting tired now too and I may start to become less helpful to others in this thread but I will try my best. I am sorry.
I do not think so and there would be no reason to not ask as long as you try to be careful about it. /lgbt/ might be able to help more than me though. Also the final choice on action is yours so don't take my advice and act on it if it feels wrong to you.
You do not have to apologize it's fine. Everyone has a reason to do something. I try to not judge. Being hurt emotionally can cause mental harm and it takes so much effort to fix it. And you do not have to believe in anything but yourself if you desire.
Also is OP still here? Honk if you up desu f am senpai t b h.
yeah, i'm still here
i've been replying to a lot of people
That shit you said can get you a long term relationship. The other things you might wanna change is the balls to ask someone out and love her like she's gonna be gone tomorrow. Trust me, you'll go on.
This was good thread.
I only post original content because i do not want to upset the god hiro
I like imoutos, voyeurism, games and listening to other mentally ill people on youtube. No gf since birth and Im very suspicious of women. They have this way of speaking that you have to understand on a subconscious/emotional level and im not having any of that bullshit.
I love the 3D form and porn but talking to women make my dick go limp.
Worst thing is I had someone who sort of fit my weirdly specific bill. Not too emotionally involved, respected my boundaries, and was enjoyable to talk to.
I cocked it all up. Fuck me
i think this is only true if you're a girl
i'm a guy and i'm way too scared and paranoid to seek out a romantic partner let alone a friend
no sphere is going to roll into my life
I'm very clingy, and obsessive,so when my partner doesn't pay attention to me i freak out.And currently they haven'tbeen and it's to the point i dont think they want me or they are cheating on me...
>mfw i just want a obsessive/possessive lover like me
I... I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm in a relationship with an amazing girl but my mental illness keeps getting in the way. After 3 years she's just fed up with explaining simple shit to me over and over again because I have no functional common sense. Every single decision I make is wrong I think it's because I'm irreparably fucked. All I do is medicate and lose myself in whatever task people throw at me and I just can't emotionally connect with what she wants, no matter how heard I try. I can't understand how she feels and she accuses me of never thinking about her when she's all I think about. My life is just a cycle of revolving nothingess and apathy apart from the time I spend with her, and I've clearly worn out my welcome. I've started self harming again and when, not if, she breaks up with me my life is going to end. I'm in a crucial part of my education at the moment and there is no way I would be able to continue to function at a high level. I have a crippling fear of abandonment and I don`t know how to cope with losing the only person in the world who cares about me. Anons, I know no one is reading this giant wanking post and those of you who are reading it don`t give a shit, but I'm dying by degrees and completely hopeless for things to change. I put in as much effort as I possibly can to fix things but three years is too much. I'm unlovable because I will inevitably get in my own way. I am the source of my own unhappiness and it will never end until I do.
I see a psychiatrist once a month and a doctor every other week. I have to take 4 different fucking pills just to go outside and not sperg all over the place. There's no more help I can get. I've talked to her, she thinks she understands, but she has borderline personality disorder and has come to the point where it just doesn't matter. I can't do anything to change things no matter how hard I try or what I say because she thinks I'm all talk. My words literally have no meaning apart from filling the space between her thoughts about how she wishes I was and the unfortunate reality of the terrible person I am. I'm filthy and disgusting. No one should ever be forced to be around me and she's a saint for having stayed this long. We live together, we have three cats and I'm just watching it all sift through my fucking fingers. It's like I'm trying to grab at a lake and while my hands might get wet, I'll never be able to grab anything concrete. Anon I'm really struggling and I don't know what to do anymore... I don't think there's anything I can do but wait until things collapse and just drift away with the tide.
>I'm so uninteresting, I can't even make online friends
I know this feel too well, I reached of point of no return and all I want is for it to end.
>more than someone else
Goddamnit this hurts the most. I can emotionally satisfy some woman in my country I'm sure, but there's no fucking way I can do it better than somebody else.
As I am not a specialist I can not tell you how to specifically fix this. All I can do is tell you the same thing people have told you before which is "but you are a good person anon you just need to try harder." But truly if you want something done you have to grab a cup and place the tides inside of it and get what you can before it all falls into the sun.
thanks for just talking to me. I don't even have online friends. All I do is just kill losers over and over in dark souls or obsessively organize my magic cards. i just wish I could be someone else, someone better. Someone capable of being independent and a regular productive member of society. Hell, just someone capable of going to the fucking laundry without shaking and spilling quarters everywhere.
>post ITT if you're too mentally ill to ever be in a serious relationship
I'm too mentally ill to even have a friendship.
I would be friends with the whole world if I could, but I just get so jealous when people talk about their deeper relationships.
>tfw Chad Thunderpersonality steals your friend
My nigga I have a friend who does literally that
curtis i swear to god you mangy cuntIm not too into magic yet but i like to screen share over skype with my friend and we would make decks on mtg deck builder and use the play test feature to have a playing field like yugioh duel network so we dont have to spend money on the expensive as fuck cards. Also making my friend play dark souls 2 with a great machete swearing to him its good and we get a 10 kill streak with it.
I'm definitely not curtis, I promise. I mostly build EDH decks and spend all of my free money on magic cards like some kind of sperg. I cracked a oath of the gatesworn expedition land in the prerelease
Fetid Heath, and I cracked a Kozilek's Return, a Mirrorpool and a Kalitas in a fat pack yesterday. I tend to have pretty good luck in magic, but I only started a year ago, so I'm still pretty new.
I don't think I'd be able to, I'm a really boring person and I have anxiety issues.
Whenever I think about me doing anything intimate with someone or even just some regular relationship stuff, I cringe at myself, everything about relationships makes me anxious. I think if I ever did get a gf, I'd be on edge 24/7 because I'd be so scared of fucking it all up.
I also seem to make people hate me without realizing it.
>tfw called chad even though you're a shitposting tranny
Please call me a stacey, shitlord.
I've told her anon, she's just tired of my bullshit and tired of me from the sound of things. I'm just going to pretend like things are fine until she dumps me and I politely lock myself in my room, ascending to my final NEET form I always knew I was going to be. I'm just too immature and too scatterbrained. I feel like a child.
I just couldn't stand the rejection.
Deep down, I just want to be loved for who I am, not who I pretend to be. That doesn't make any sense, because who I am is disgusting, but I can't stop longing for it.
I'm a pretty shitty person, but I don't think I'd have it any other way.
I'm pretty stoic, nearly all take and no give and I hate female nature. When I talk I'll usually lie or be deliberately cryptic so that I'll say something whilst giving nothing.
From my one relationship I've also learned that I'm pretty possessive. I'd usually make her feel like shit and tell her that she doesn't realize how good she has it. And then "defend" her against all her fucking e-friends not knowing their place.
Got old after a while since she was a completely worthless human being outside of being female and not being too hard on the eyes.
She'd always complain about me being too rough or heavy handed, too. I still have scars on my right forearm from when she dug her nails into it.
To not only make me edgy but a psuedo-intellectual I've sort of lived my entire life with socratic questioning and being excessively analytic and being unable to just take things for what they are, always wanting to understand.
Most of the time answers from people are unsatisfactory and it's hard to find friends like that.
>no mental illness or autism or Asperger's
>mentally sound and morally good
>no religious upbringing
>astonished to find out my longtime childhood friend had to start taking crazy pills when she was 12
>never knew because she was good about taking them
>thought she was a totally different person when she forgot/neglected to take them one week
Life is full of surprises.
I can't into adult relationships at all. I just want to have butterflies in my stomach and flirt and maybe touch genitals with a cute girl who wants to do the same with me, but when you're 24 it's all about what you can provide for her and your value and your future etc. It's like applying for a job and that sounds super gay. Why would I even want to do that? And the girls my age are starting to look old and worn out so I'd have to find a teenager which is kind of sketchy. Plus I don't leave my house or talk to anyone so it's a moot point to begin with. I'm also starting to go bald.
>like 2 years ago on /v/
>thread like this appears
>lonely anons add each other on steam to make company
>post my profile
>get a single add
>we talk a bit
>he goes on and on about how it sucks living in a literal mansion as an only child and his dad is always away
>turns out he's fucking 14
>somehow I could tell but now that I know he's even more annoying
>"h-hey, wanna see a picture of me?!"
>he links me one anyway
>click it out of morbid curiosity
>THE MOST PUNCHABLE FACE ON THE GOD DAMN PLANET
>removed and blocked him
That's when I was convinced that every "lonely" anon that cries in these threads are emotional teenagers that can't cope with their hormone imbalance during puberty
BLOO BLOO I'M SO SAD AND LONELY I DIDN'T TALK TO ANYONE FOR 3 STINKIN DAYS AND MY 7/10 GF HASN'T TEXTED ME BACK FOR 20 MIN
go fuck yourself
I don't really care about sex. I'm not asexual or anything, it's just not something I prioritize.
I don't want to be bad at sex, but I really just want a girl who I can be around and who wants to be around me.
I don't mean being a friend. I want to be that person's special person.
I guess that's selfish.
Iktf bro, sex is like preventative maintenance for us, only way to keep them around.
I'm like if you took every NPC in a video game and rolled them all together into one person. I do a lot of things and can say a lot of words, but I do all of it in such a soulless way that nobody is interested. I'm like a soup with lots of vegetables but no seasoning. The worst part is, I like how I am, and I know that if I change it'll be exhausting and unpleasant. I just wish someone else liked how I am too.
This. I enjoy sex and would like it to happen, but it`s not high on my priority list. i can honestly go months without it and there`s no problem in my mind, but women can`t handle it and assume I`m cheating...
>obvs no idea on relationship
>about to ship with qt grill
>shipless but does pass floating debris
>considers the further
>thinks it would be better to like men cause men are better
>finds hard time liking them
>challenge but keeps at it
>nearing actually obtaining bf
>faking whole thing trying 2 care
>sex still sounds scary/grossu
coming to the realization that im supposed to stay alone by my self and that love is in fairytales only
Why are you talking in 3rd person?
You talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded.
You..You just described me. Except the whole someone accepting me part. I'm convinced that's not possible.
I pretend to be a Jack of all trades and super interesting but it's all shallow. I know a bit of a bunch of things but nothing deeper and I'm afraid people will find out I'm actually boring and fairly incompetent.
Fuck, I don't even know how to have a serious conversation. Or any conversation in general. I just don't understand how you're supposed to interact with other human beings. I can't even make friends.
Am I gonna die alone, robots? Should I just kill myself?
If you have a steady career, that advice will come true.
Betas have a role in society, that's why they're still here. They take in the women who've retired from their sex craved days and marry them.
/r9k/ makes it seem like it's terrible, but that's how it is. If you're not a Chad, you'll never be. The beta life is the only one a beta can hope for.
I know it's shitty, because it is, but it's that or being alone.
>I just don't understand how you're supposed to interact with other human beings. I can't even
Yep, this is pretty much me, and probably most on /r9k/. It's like I'm speaking a language I only half understand.
Every conversation I initiate dies out half way through, and they never initiate them with me.
>If you have a steady career
Where do you think you are? I'm a 24 year old NEET. I don't even know how to write a check. Besides, doesn't it disgust you that women only accept you if you pay for them? Doesn't that make them whores by definition? You can dress it up as "oh, it's status" or "money brings stability" or whatever else, but in the end it's prostitution. This is why adult women are trash.
Romance seems like a work of fiction to me, like it only happens in fucking movies or whatever. The concept of being in a relationship or getting a girlfriend is so alien to me that I have legitimately no idea what the process should be. I've got no drive to go out and meet people wherever they meet, I've got no interest in children, I cant flirt and really have no desire to, and I have the libido of a panda.
I'm just about 25 and I'm still a KV and all three of my siblings are/were married. Even though my stepmother has given me the "your time will come" talk I'm pretty sure she knows in her heart that I'm a lost cause.
All I really can do is indulge in my hobbies and work. After all of that I'll die and then I can stop letting people down and just be out of the way.
>March , 3 months til grad.
> 1st GF leaves me after 6month relationship
> no real reasons
> I'm close to her best friend
>chat up friend to see what I did.
> friend reveals police raided our pastors house
> my GF had been fucking him for almost 3years
> before she dated me
> drop out and get my GED
> go to community college
> get picked up with interning at IBM
> go to France things looking up for me.
> work in a DataCenter for 2years
> me in a dark room by myself for 12 hours shifts.
> finally have self esteem to get into dating
> land smoking hot babe
> later that week, I get letter
> invitation to IBM ceremony.
> throw away
> at work months later
> 2:36am I'll never forget it, I got faxed an order.
> TERM all online devices
> hands shaking I look at the EMERGENCY POWER OFF for the whole DC.
> immediately call superior for verification
> "We got laid off 2 weeks ago, whats going on?
> my heart sunk
>doesn't it disgust you that women only accept you if you pay for them
Of course, but that's how it is.
That's always been how it is. Do you think women suddenly start becoming attracted to accountants and pharmacists once they hit 26?
The women who can't support themselves, who would be Robots if they were male/unattractive, want financial security and betas don't want to be alone.
That's how it is.
This isn't some 80's movie where the pretty girl suddenly realizes that Chad is a jerk.
Whenever people I talk with people, even if they're genuinely interested in talking to me, it just feels like they're talking to me for the sake of being polite, and I feel so fucking pathetic. Then when I try to get out of their hair I just look like an asshole.
There's just no way to win. I don't want to live. Why be born if you're just gonna fail to be a functioning person.
Why do you want to be a part of that? Why do you want to help them? Is your dick that powerful, that it would sacrifice the rest of your body for its own benefit? If adult women are trash and it's illegal to date a loli, then I will just jerk off and be mildly depressed.
I'm really socially awkward and have really heavy social anxiety. I have aspergers, I hate going outside or talking to people. I've been a NEET since I was 15 because I got bullied in school because I was so abnormally socially inept and weird, people scare me. I don't understand people or how they feel. I don't have any friends and I've never had a boyfriend. Intimacy really scares me.
I'm 25 at the moment. I live alone with my father because my mom didn't understand me or my problems at all. My dad has a mild form of autism so he understands my struggles and he loves me and wants to support me. He doesn't try to force me to go outside or anything, he understands how hard it is for me.
I don't think I'll ever be in a relationship. Aside from my autism, I'm just not very pretty. I'm 4'10", pale as a ghost, smelly, average at best. I'm really skinny because I'm depressed and I just don't eat much. I'm a real downer most of the time and really emotional in weird ways.
It's just not going to happen for me. My dad bought me a dog to keep me company, better than being a cat lady I guess.
> tell boss about the EPO.
> he laughs and said the buildings been empty this whole week.
> there isn't anyone here because we have no work.
> there isn't anyone here because we don't have anymore customers.
> I've been coming to work in my insecure robot shell of a self for 6 days and didnt notice no one was here.
> shake head minds fuzzy
> Boss laughs it off and said goodnight.
> go home curl up in bed
> can't cry
> can't feel
> can only hear my fan and shake with anxiety and panic attacks
> told gf, she breaks it off saying we weren't a good match anyways.
> go back to hometown
Why am I so disconnected from the world? Everyday people enjoy their life.
>implying I don't enjoy my life
I don't, I feel different than everyone. I'm lonely.
>Why be born if you're just gonna fail to be a functioning person
There's no good answers, anon.
I wish I could be a misanthrope. I wish I could blame people for being the way I am, but the problem is me.
Damn, disheartening story anon. I wish you the best of luck. If you need anyone to talk to, please, do not hesitate to ask me for advice, care, hugs, and steam games.
You don't understand what you're doing here. You're putting robots in a terrible position. Either they give up their dignity and offer to be your BF, or they suffer silently wondering if they're missing their last opportunity to escape hell.
thats pretty intense robot
im pretty jealous of you though, thats kinda my dream job, what did you do in community college?
>I'm really socially awkward and have really heavy social anxiety.
>I have aspergers, I hate going outside or talking to people.
>I've been a NEET since I was 15 because I got bullied in school because I was so abnormally socially inept and weird, people scare me.
Me, exact same age I dropped out.
Same, but no girlfriend.
>I'm 25 at the moment.
>I live alone with my father because my mom didn't understand me or my problems at all.
Same, but reverse genders of parents, except I'm sure my dad is autistic but it turned him into a very bitter, closed-in man.
>pale as a ghost, smelly, average at best. I'm really skinny because I'm depressed and I just don't eat much. I'm a real downer most of the time and really emotional in weird ways.
>Own a dog
Are you me?
lies lies LIES LITERAL FUCKING LIES
IF YOU'RE NOT LYING THEN BE MY GF
I know this feel extremely well.
The thing is I went through lots of events but I have trouble bringing them up in a conversation. I spend all day inside, as a man you have to be more outgoing then the woman your interested in...
I don't even play video games that much anymore.
if you're not mentally capable of having a boyfriend ill be you're girlfriend
i have a penis so it works out if you're into that
This "fembot" just wants attention you dolt. Faggots like you are just playing directly into their ego waxing.
I could smell the bait from a light year away but faggots still think they have a chance. Every single day I see some starry eyed anons rush to be some """""fembots"""""" boy friend.
Protip: THEY HAVE NO TROUBLE. THEY WANT CHAD LIKE EVERY SINGLE FEMALE ON THE PLANET.
I want to rape you until I mindbreak your autistic fat ass.
I like what I can't have, once I have it I don't want it.
It's really bad, I've had multiple girlfriends, but I hate when I have them and chase the next one.
I don't think this will end...
I'll trade perma-virgin for this affliction. I've hurt so many people.
Get yourself togheter anon! I am submissive to but you got to fight. you need to reward aggresive and dominant behaviour so your cock will know that is something you like. you thought yourself how to be sibmissive now fight it! i know it is hard but slow and steady i am changing
I had fucking gender dysphoria. My life was turning out well for once, then, I had to "transition" I had to endure 3 more years of struggling because of mental illlness(again).
Now I am a manlet with erectile dysfunction and gyno which i'll probably need surgery for. It will take months for my body to re- balance itself, I even had this horrible body odor for no reason, leading me to cut off all the hair grew. Coupled with my high voice few people take me serious as a man instead see me as this weak and awkward teenage boy with a beard and mustache.
I used be 7/10, girls loved to be around me, still do, but not in a "potential partner" sense, but like in a "he's my non-threatening gay friend" sense. I met this near perfect girl a while ago, but I couldn't even bring up a relationship but I knew I had to deal with all this shit and I had little chance, holy shit I feel jumping off a high rise sometimes.
>somehow managed to get a qt robot bf
>together nearly a year despite being an emotional roller coaster
>he eventually breaks up with me because lol I'm fucking insane
>tfw trying to change because fuck feeling and thinking the way I do
>tfw trying to get him back
>tfw you'll never be a cute and lewd girl
>afraid of cheating
>cheats on partner
>current partner is male
I'm (probably) mentally ill and in a serious relationship, but I come so close to fucking it all up almost every day. It's hard to connect with somebody else if you can't even predict what kind of personal you'll be tomorrow.
I say probably because I'm a fucking shut-in who hasn't seen a doctor or dentist for more than 10 years. It feels so shitty to be a weird mean shut-in, find somebody who actually loves you, and then STILL wake up some mornings wanting to kill yourself or hurt other people?
Just don't do it. Get better first.
i wouldnt even know what it means
i mean, you hang out a bit, make it official, then what? you have to find exciting things to do with her every weekend to keep her from leaving you? you have to try to impress her, make her laugh, make her feel good all the time through text if youre not with her in person? you have to fake confidence and interests just so she doesnt move on?
What does a week even look like when you have
I'm too mentally ill to ever have a relationship work out and to make it worse I seek mentally ill men because I have a disgusting messiah complex and a need for being needed. On top of being an overly possessive psycho gf.
>you have to find exciting things to do with her every weekend to keep her from leaving you?
Pretty much. I just want a gf who's willing to be by my side no matter what, even if I don't exactly "interest" her.
If you're scared of the relationship falling apart, that means you obviously aren't meant for eachother.
>dad is a violent schizophrenic paedophile from a rough city
>my mum was also violent
>parents moved from Manchester to Taunton in 1981 because racist
>had my sister in '89 and me in '92
>used to beat me, lock me in cupboards and wash mouth out with soap when I was as young as 3
>had to watch and sometimes get caught inbetween parents physical fighting
>mum and dad divorced in '95
>mum took me and sister to Manchester women and childrens home
>met a guy called Frank
>he used to beat me and my sister, swung us by our ears until they bled
>dad found us and took us to Exeter
>sexually abused me, physically abused me, mentally abused me and verbally abused me
>used to go crazy a lot, heavy drinker. extremely violent
>dropped sister off at cop station in June of '97
>I'm with this crazy bastard until late '98
>go into care
>I molested kids when I was a kid (even living with my dad)
>my foster dad cheated on my foster mum so there were a lot of fights there
>foster dad has punched me on occasion
>tried to fuck foster sister
>killed her hamsters and a dog
>thought about mass murder a lot
>I attempted burglary once
This shit has turned me into a very shy person. Also any normie girl who learned about this stuff would be disgusted. I'm yet to find a girl crazy enough to relate to or accept me. Not that I've really been looking
I'm writing a manibesto
I get this. I feel like at this point everyone my age has been in a relationship and I can't even fathom what that means anymore. It feels terrible because people make it out to be this thing that when you're in a bad one you just find a new one, or talk about how it's so hard to stay single.
I'm probably too boring for one.
It'd be dope at first.
Lots of sex and affection.
But then I'd realize I don't give a fuck about this person, and I'd regress to my antisocial self of shitposting.
I have BPD and severe anxiety disorder and I guess I've sort of habituated myself to not give a fuck about other people's emotions. No woman will ever take me seriously. I will be forever alone. May as well off myself but I wanna try to make myself happy first then see how I feel about suicide. It's been a very long time since the last time I could say I was "happy," almost 3 years ago.
>society that failed m
Society doesn't owe you anything senpai, I am a robot but blaming others for your lack of enthusiasm to succeed is not anyone else's fault but your own. It's just a game and you suck at it.
You can hate the game but you have to play unless you knock your piece off the board.
You should just invest yourself in a hobby, you are only a quarter way through your life.
i doubt i'll ever have a "normal" gf
i'm not nearly exciting or cool or interesting enough for one
i need a gf who is fucked like me and understands
>"i love you so so much but sometimes i just like to sit here and relax because things are very overwhelming and even if i'm not talking to you all the time i still love you"
nobody wants that though, that's insane to ask. nobody wants to have a dull relationship. there's no spark, no passion. even if i do feel passionate, i can't show it
A lot of you guys ITT are more capable of love than you think.
Wow these threads would be sad if they weren't so funny. Guys its not hard to make friends, all you have to do is be confident and act like the person you really are deep down inside. People are attracted to others who act like genuine people, and who don't try and pretend to be a "Chad" or "Stacie" the only person who can change your situation is you!
I know how it feels to be an outcast, trust me i do. I had maybe five close buds in HS who I'd see most weekends, and probably talked to only 15ish girls all throughout. Didn't have my first kiss till 18 or a serious GF till 20, now I'm a few years older and am in an ltr and couldn't be happier! It took a lot of effort to dig myself out of that hold but again, if you're willing to change yourself it's easy! You guys are capable of making it just like myself, all it takes is a little willpower and effort
>Cant look someone in the eye let alone fathom a conversation
Yeah, just be your PLEASANT self. If you're personality is based around your negative traits then you need to shift that. If you believe that all you have are negative traits then you're either wrong or you should work on developing positive ones.
Then how do you develop positive traits, what even are positive traits? What if I don't even know anymore what I am deep inside, because no social contact jaded my personality into some grey blob of nothingness
I repressed my crazy side mostly so I just seem like the regular quiet kid when I'm sober but when I'm drunk around my small group of friends they say I get pretty loopy and I tell them to shoot me in the jugular and I talk about wanting to kill people
Kinda scared to get super drunk again because I don't want my love for dickgirls or boipucci out
>just be yourself and don't pretend to be someone you're not
>unless yourself is a shit person in which case turn yourself into someone you're not
Quality bait, 10/10 got me to reply seriously.
>hurr I know your situation is like I had ONLY 5 friends that I hung out with reguraly
You truly don't understand the situation at all.
Being yourself is Being who you choose to be, I don't think you guys get this concept. You think "yourself" is just waiting there inside for you to "be"? Not how it works bud. You just have got to get out of your she'll and be who you want to be, its easy not hard.
And yeah, I do know your situation. I didn't have many friends as you can see
>Be me, 19
>Don't smoke, don't drink, head low avoid trouble type of guy.
>Don't go out other than work
>Virgin,straight, uninterested in relationships because they seem like too much work.
>Want relationship because im lonely but they seem like too much work.
>My fetish is battered/abused women.
Unmedicated schizo. Gone through the cycle of being naive and thinking this time things will be different from a relationship perspective and then settling into the dull groove of life that is accepting youre just one of those people meant to end up alone. Cant fathom someone having legitimate feelings for me that way so I poke and prod paranoidly. Cant seem to be able to just accept things for face value and be comfy. Just suppose the reality of it is that I need conflict to stimulate the dulled mindset and existence ive fabricated for myself.
You guys are alright by the by.
>tfw I'm going to go outside for the first time in about two weeks today
>going to have to interact with people too
going to be fun desu
Mentally ill shut in khv neet
Family is disgusted with me
Bullied a lot as a kid
Legit scared of people out in public all the time
Despite this i've always wanted a gf
Was talking to a girl for a day but she told me to fuck off
Pretty sad desu senpai
I know all internet women are suposed to be heartless sluts looking for attention but damn
Think i should maybe call a suicide hotline rn
Tfw no gf fuck