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I need stupid proof ways to suicide
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 27
Thread images: 3
>First attempt: Too weak to hurt myself
>Seccond attempt: Cut myself the wrong way, bleed out slowly, at some point my brother knocks down the door and takes me to the hospital in time
>Third attempt: pic related
I cant save money for a gun, food and rent takes almost all my income. Any suggestions?
>>
Stop buying food? Why the fuck are you buying food if you want to die you stupid shit. Fucking starve and don't pay your rent, negotiate to pay later saying you have a big payday coming but are broke as shit now. Buy a fucking gun and do it you pussy.
>>
Just get a loan or something and buy a 12 Gauge shotgun. A shitty maverick 88 or Remington 870/moss berg 500 cost like 350 max. It's not expensive at all.
>>
>>25964338
Yeah, this. Anyone can save money for a gun, even if it takes a year or so.

You're lucky you're in a country where guns are even an option.
>>
>>25964291
Exit bag you dumb mother fucker, either that or sit in a closet and spray like 5 cans of pino clean or deodorant.

Problem is option 2 might not kill you, instead you could get brain damage and be trapped in a body that doesn't want to work anymore for the rest of your life, being kept alive by machines.
>>
>>25964415
Better yet, apply for a credit card, and then buy the gun on credit. If you "can't afford a gun" you're just making excuses and don't want to actually die faggot
>>
>>25964439
I have never looked into the gun laws here in Spain but I know I need a license, which costs even more money and I'd have to pass psychological tests

>>25964424
>Exit bag
I could do that, thanks
>>
>>25964505
Suicide by cop.
Throw yourself in front of a semi truck on the highway. Jump off a bridge. Attach cinder blocks to your feet and jump into a lake/pool/ocean
>>
>>25964505
>here in spain

piss of a muslim. go to france if you can't find any in spain.
>>
>>25964424
>sit in a closet and spray like 5 cans of pino clean or deodorant.
Holy shit anon.
Thanks, I needed that fucking laugh.

>be me
>clear my clothes and shelves out of the cupboard
>climb in with my shopping bags
>Start spraying
>Tssssssssssssss
>Couple of minutes later do another one
>Tssssssshhhhhhh
>This ones sounds deadly
>carry on for like 15 minutes
>eventually coughing a lot
>wait for a bit longer
>Why aren't I *dead* yet?
>>
>>25964291

don't anon, talk to a therapist. I know you probably feel like it'll never get better but seriously man take care
>>
File: image.jpg (419 KB, 869x873) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>Do it faggot
>Do it pussy
I don't mean to moralfag too hard or anything, but what happened to r9k? It seems like tons of edgemasters just flew in from /b/.

Where's the sympathy for your fellow robots? The least you faggots could do is supply him with legitimate suggestions. Are you all so bitter now that you provide some half assed plan with an even sadder insult?

I'm starting to hate this place.
>>
>>25964291
Anon I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, I hope that you can see that there are so many other options for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43vjEiFckbw
I don't even really like Louis CK, but this video clicked with me at one point and helped me not want to kill myself.
>>
>>25965371
>>25965421
It's good to see anons looking out for fellow robots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUHcc7ipGt0
>>
Op is probably just lying and will never kill himself
>>
OP please reach out and respond.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_2kelqYz_o
>>
jump off a bridge/tall building, how is that even not in your mind?
>>
>>25965264
AHAHAHAAH the madman actually did it
>>
>>25965549
seems like he would be a good friend
too late now...
>>
I looked into all the possibilities, but I'll probably try to cut myself again. It's edgy as hell, but I fear ending up vegetable or severely disabled if I try to choke in any way or jump off a building (no large enough buildings to do it right)
you get tired of failing after a while
>>
>>25964291
>>Third attempt: pic related
top kek , im so sorry for your shitty doorknob
>>
Is it true that they dilute helium tanks with oxygen now?
>>
>>25964424
>>25964505
>muh exit bag

Nice meme. Enjoy becoming a vegetable when it inevitably fails
>>
>>25965647

I live in Kansas. There are no tall buildings here. There's also nothing exciting enough to build a bridge over. Would rolling down a gently sloping hill work?
>>
>>25964563
>Throw yourself in front of a semi truck on the highway
The driver will blame himself for taking the life of some autistic sperg. He'll fall into a deep depression and end up killing himself by truck too.
The chain will continue until everyone on the planet has been killed and trucks rule the world.
>>
>>25964291
go to a highway on ramp, at night, dress in dark clothes, run onto road as a big rig approaches, stop right in front

find a train track, wait for freight train, night is better, lay down on track, head first, face down the track

buy some wire cable, home depot, get 20 feet, tie off on an overpass or bridge rail, tie around neck, jump, shock will decapitate you

use same cable tie to a light pole, tie around neck, get in car, seat belt in, rev the engine, take off, decapitated

shotgun in mouth, point back, not up, use a shotgun slug

climb a high voltage transmission tower, grab a power-line

head out into a snowstorm at night, take off all your clothes, chug as much alcohol as you can, lie down, freeze (you can also chain yourself to a tree, toss the key, if you are chicken)

two liter bottle of mountain dew, pour some out, add two boxes of salt, chug, death from salt overdose

fill car with gas cans and bricks, get on highway, go as fast as you can, head toward a overpass support, light newspapers in car on fire, hit the concrete pillar
>>
>>25967767

What's the last one supposed to do? Why the newspapers burning?
Thread replies: 27
Thread images: 3
Thread DB ID: 456005



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