i always just thought it was my personality. like i'm just shy and it's something i have to deal with. but it's a real disorder in the DSM and all that. i wanna be a normie. i'm passively observing life, i'm not participating.
>>25963795 Online jobs are pretty nice, as are IT jobs. How do I deal with it? By not talking to people.
In our highly connected society, it is no longer necessary to go outside and interact with other people for basic survival. Most businesses do their hiring online anyway, and you can have most amenities delivered right to your door.
I think growing up fat and ugly influenced this. Plus my dad was always super critical and mean to me. I've never felt comfortable in my own skin or proud of anything. I just feel like I'm not worth other people's time. I'm not interesting or good enough to be a friend so I avoid them.
In the olden days, the wisest ones in society would often seclude themselves from others and live like hermits. Some even moved to remote islands and monetarists to be alone. In the modern age we can enjoy a life of solitude even in a busy city, with all the comforts of life delivered right to the doorstep by the magic of NEETbux and the internet.
i have no hobbies because i'm too afraid of criticism and trying new things
when i was very young i loved to draw, and when i realized i wasn't very good at it, instead of practicing and vowing to get better i just stopped because i'm a coward who gets sad when i fail at things
>>25963795 cut contact with everyone I knew from high school
kept on listening in on other people's conversations to figure out how to survive a normal casual one on one conversation for long enough
I don't know a single person and not even immediate family know much about me so there's little to be worried or insecure about
Sometimes when I know I'm avoiding something, I tell myself to do it faggot but often I put it off until it's too late, it's really something I need to stop doing.
I like to think I'm not actually avoidant, I'm just going through a 'healthy' reaction to the state of my life.
I'm not sure how to deal with being lonely all the time. I used to get a lot of my validation, good feelings, and feelings of belonging somewhere from an online community but I could never bring myself to actually open up to anyone. I'd contribute things and every little bit of positive approval was like a drug to me, I lived for it, even if I had to act modest as fuck. Sometimes people would seemingly have fun with me but I never knew what to do when they actively sought my company and I still occasionally log on so I just resort to memes to deflect.
Fuck I really don't know.
Without that place it's just anonymous shitposting here and that really chafes away.
They don't know a thing about me I guess and that's fine. No commitment and I can leave anytime I want.
I hope achieving the usual milestones like getting a job, car and pursuing one or two hobbies will make it easier to at least pretend to be normal but I don't know when that is going to happen.
Not having friends is alright in the sense that you don't have anyone to be ashamed to face.
>>25965701 SSRI's helps somewhat on overall mood but nothing else Helped me much when I had some serious depression tho Still can't get anything decent because doctors are terrified of prescribing addicting pills
Deal with what? I avoid because it's easier that way. I don't feel I made the wrong decision. I wonder what it's like to be a normie, but every time I imagine it I just think of how horrible it must be.
>>25966926 I have a bit of a desire since clearly it's what most people do, but it's kind of in the same way as wanting to be rich or something. It's not likely to happen and even if it did happen it'd be a huge source of stress. Whenever I think of myself in a romantic relationship I just cringe. I have online friends which are perfect. Offline friendships are stressful.
'm not even a Chad, yet, I find talking to girls as easy as breathing oxygen. Shit, sometimes, even random girls come up to me and introduce themselves first when i'm talking to a mutual friend. Are you "robot" faggots really this fucking autistic, and out of tact?
>>25963795 I avoided everybody in my life until they disappeared one by one and then eventually forgot I ever existed. Now I have nothing. Nobody. I didn't deal with jack or shit. I made like a tree and fucked off.
I don't like being alone but I like other people's company even less. I can observe their activities and long for an unobtainable coexistence from a distance but I cannot participate. I'm just different. I know better than to believe I can be apart of this world. I am too far gone. Avoidance is better than normality for me. I long for some aspects of normality but I know deep down that I'd probably get bored pretty quick. Any time someone speaks to me even now all I can think about is being alone.
All of my past attempts at trying to be honest and open have left me feeling fucking shitty and humiliated. The more I bury myself the worse it gets, the more I open up the worse it gets, either way I get shit on. Wew fucking lad.
my cousin is like this. Everyone thinks shes mute because if she doesn't feel like 95% comfortable around you she wont talk as if it makes her invisible. Since she refuses to talk someones gotta be with her when she goes places and when you do this she pretty much latches onto your arm and looks worried someone might talk to her, look at her, or try to get close to her. Like shut in to the extreme.
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