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You are given the chance to take one bug...
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001

Thread replies: 93
Thread images: 21
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You are given the chance to take one bug to turn into your perfect girl

Here are the following guidelines:

>the girl with have an enhanced attribute correlating to the insect's ability (ant = strength, cricket=agility, cockroach=resilience, robber fly=perception, etc)
>she wont know any language, you must teach her your mother tongue
>you must teach her motor skills
>will have a high IQ, the peak of what a human can have
>her skin will be the main color of her previous exoskeleton, no exceptions
>will be loyal to you no matter what
>will not have a normal woman's instincts, which means she wont give a shit about your status, money, etc
>you will obviously be responsible for acquiring her citizenship and legal presence in your country

Will you do this or not?
>>
What would a centipede grill be good at senpai
>>
>>25952553

fuck no. i am no traitor to humanity.

*squishes bug*
>>
>tfw no ladybug gf
>>
>>25952592
Maybe an inherent talent at martial skills?

>>25952600
queer
>>
>>25952613
she'd be black
>>
>Tfw no grasshopper gf
>>
>>25952553
>you will obviously be responsible for acquiring her citizenship and legal presence in your country
Kek, do you know how difficult this is? It would be almost impossible for a robot with no influence and average earnings to get US citizenship for a girl with literally no history of existence.
>>
>>25952553
I can't think of any white insects and there's no way in hell I'm dating a nigger, let alone a nigger bug.
>>
>>25952658
I know. That's the price these guys have gotta pay. You either gitgud at manipulating others and pulling strings to secure your gf or she is taken away/killed
>>
>>25952664

white butterfly gf

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hYNjn1gohM

triggered
>>
>>25952553
Easy as shit in my country.
Cockroach for that resilience and out breeding humanity.
>>
>>25952664
a black girl has a crush on you irl anon, how's that make you feel?
>>
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Can I make him a boy?
I'd probably want a fuzzy moth bf
What are moths good at?
Either that or a mantis, but I'd be a little afraid of his temperament as a mantis and he might end up being too submissive in bed
>>
>>25952724
>not taking a tank beetle gf

you are a pussy bro

>>25952741
This thread isnt for sluts femanon, especially submissive sluts liek you
>>
>>25952619
>Maybe an inherent talent at martial skills?
Sweet, I'll make her into the most badass soldier and together we'll rule the world!
>>
>>25952553

Bumblebee girl

Bumblebees love humans.
>>
>>25952710
What would be her talent though? Hyper sexuality to one person and dying within the week?

>>25952729
I couldn't care less as long as she doesn't act on it.

[spoiler[Lets face it I'm on /r9k/, there's more chance of my mastering quantum computing than there is of me ever having a secret admirer[/spoiler]
>>
>>25952758
>femanon
>women
>on the internet
>>
>>25952553
What would a dragonfly girl do?
>>
Aww yeah, a tarantula gf

>>25952784
definitely agility
>>
>>25952758
b-but I'm gay, anon...
>>
>>25952773

>Hyper sexuality to one person and dying within the week?

that doesn't sound awesome to you?

sounds awesome to me.

proceed to call me a sick fuck.
>>
Which one would be the perfect "pull the trigga, kill a nigga" bug?
>>
>>25952771
This plus she would work hard for her honey ;)
>>
>>25952798
oh...well ok then. Yeah a mantis is just enhanced reaction time. An ability a lot of people would kill for

moths? I dunno man, maybe that'd be more of a personality thing
>>
>>25952820
assassin beetle
>>
>>25952804
I'd want it to last longer than a week.

I wish OP would have let us choose any creature and not specifically insects. I imagine having a flexible as fuck but loyal catgirl would me amazing.
>>
>>25952820
Assassin beetle, robber fly, or horned beetle
>>
>>25952855
>tfw no sloth bf
>>
>>25952797
Thats not an insect.
>>
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Can we pick spiders?
>>
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>>25952553
Gimme this little honey right here.
>tfw no busy bee gf
>>
>>25952904
I take it you like sleeping?
>>
>>25952907
I know, but still it's gonna have to be a scorpion or a spider or im not doing it
>>
I want a qt muscle gf. Should I go for an Atlas, Goliath, Hercules, or Elephant beetle?
>>
>>25952834
>>25952865
Assassin beetle it is.

Watch out Tyrone. Your days are numbered.
>>
>>25952912
Scorpions, spiders, ticks and mites are not insects.
>>
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Going with this sexy wasp, MMmmmMMmmm
>>
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>>25952928
why not a wasp?

>attribute will be adept manipulation
>will be able to gain followers easier than the most powerful men in history because of her IQ
>will make me a king within a year
>>
>>25952948
goliath without a doubt
>>
>>25952961
thats a red velvet ant, its sting hurts as if you were being branded
>>
>not wanting a gf who is a master of Camo to climb trees with
>>
>>25952553
>responsible for acquiring her citizenship and legal presence in your country
Why would she even need that?
>>25952592
She'll have lots of limbs.
>>25952771
>>25952928
She pukes in your tupperware and puts it in the freezer to eat it later.
>>
>>25952964
Only go for the sterile ones
You don't want her getting fat and spitting out thousands of babies day in and day out
>>
>>25952553
>no exoskeleton
Not worth dating.
>>
>>25953006
I know, but red velvet ants are actually wasps. Only the females are wingless. The males, are big, black fuckers that fly.
>>
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Forgot pic of bugfu
>>
>>25953018
>Why would she even need that?

she needs to learn about the world in order to be in it. Unless you want her to be a slave, then she's gonna need to go outside. It aint liek she's gonna fuck Chad since she's 110% loyal and doesnt have woman instincts
>>
Butterfly. Final Answer
>>
>>25952928
Bees are so qt
>>
>>25953079
Do the police just randomly ask you for your identification every time you leave your house? It honestly doesn't seem that hard to live without government identification in America, even mexicans can do it.
>>
I'd go with a lobster girl, but I wonder if she might end up being a little
shellfish
>>
>>25953159
She'll need to drive. I dont live in a major city.
>>
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>>25953174
fucking carlos

blocx
>>
>>25953178
How often do you get pulled over? Just teach her to drive right and she'll never get asked for her license.
>>
>>25953209
you must not know that police can do random searches of cars that fit the make and model of one a criminal at large is using

With my luck, that's exactly what would happen
>>
>>25953018
>reingesting vomit

Thats my fetish
>>
>>25953231
Give her a gun. OP says she'll have a high IQ and some sort of skill derived from what insect she used to be. She'll get out of the situation no problem.
>>
>>25953271
>shooting the police

what
>>
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>>25953174
For this one comment, I present this with the highest dignity
>>
>>25953293
Well, she doesn't just shoot them then stand around scratching her cunt. She gets the fuck out of there.
>>
>>25952758
I didn't want to get creative, I also find cockroaches cute.
That's a good choice though, pretty patrician.
Also
>gays
All it will spawn you is a 60ft tall bug that will eat you
>>
>>25953332
>gays create a giant bug that kills them, then will obviously create a huge problem for everyone around them
It's like pottery.
>>
>>25952553
this is fucking horrifying
>>
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>>25952553
>pic related
le original content xDDDD

fucking kill yourself robot. holy shit, this site.
>>
>>25952964
I hadn't really heard of wasps being manipulative before.
I just think honey bees are much qter.
>>
F I R E F L Y
I
R
E
F
L
Y

Dat luminescent ass. He'd have no voluntary control over it and it would shine through his clothes ofc, flashing whenever he's angry or excited or taking muh dick
And whenever he gets embarrassed about it in public I'd take him in my arms, pet him and coo gently in his ear, telling him how special he is and that he doesn't have to be embarrassed, how hot I think his light-up bubble butt is. Maybe he'd cry a little, give me a snug bug hug, then smile and say "th-thank you anon-sama, you make me feel so good about myself". Then a gentle moan would escape from his mouth his butt would light up even more because he's getting aroused, all prepared for when we get home and fuck like rabbits


>>25953332
Fak u
>>
>>25953761
*and his butt would light up even more
whoops
>>
>>25953701
well i was more implying that i'd choose a wasp queen
>>
>>25953761
you need to make a doujin of this. you'd make money
>>
>>25953761
What's wrong with super aids?
>>
Carpenter-chan!
>Always wears a lot of clothes because she's cold and bashful
>Stays inside all winter in a comfy house she made for us
>Sitting in front of the fireplace with her and resting my head on her plump belly
>Vibrating thorax
>>
>Not choosing tsundere fire ant
>>
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>>25955195
Terrified of what that would entail
>>
>>25952961
>tfw looking near your feet without shoes on and seeing one of these
>Jumped up into my computer chair
>Velvet runs under my desk and starts squeaking because she's scared
She didn't ask to be a 4.0 on the Schmidt pain index, it's what's inside that counts
>>
>>25955616
And really, she was a squeaker.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZqXfFgu9MQ
>>
>>25953153
This is literally the only possible answer
>>
>>25952600
>>25952600
what has humanity ever done for you?
>>
teach language, how to drive and get them citizenship? thats too much work fuck that
>>
>>25952664
many bugs are white
a large number of mantis species are white
lots of white beetles
i could go on but whatever
>also not all bugs are fucking black senpai
>>
>>25956692
They are where I am. Never seen a white bug here in the UK, then against I don't go looking under every plant pot for crawlies.
>>
Jumping spider, bruh.
>extremely physically fit, agile, and fast
>large kawaii eyes
>pounces and clings on me to suck my juices dry
>>
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Yellow butterfly anyone?
>>
I would pick a Turkish girl.
>>
Oh god that's easy. Give me a spider. B. smithi I guess.
>>
>>25956762
t. original comment Alberto Barbosa
>>
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Moth waifu is best waifu

very Original post
>>
Either a termite or firefly grill.
Termite girl to build a giant comfy termite home or the firefly girl because luminescence, which would be pretty cool too.
>>
QT angel gf here I come!!!
>>
>>25952553
>>25952553


you guys really do browse reddit lol

saw this shit on the front page during the AM
>>
>>25956861
prob 90% of 4chan browse reddit. myself included
>>
>>25952553
god im so indecisive about this
>tfw love bugs
since i have too many choices heres a top 5
>most mantises
>jewel wasp
>luna moth
>damselfly
>ants
yeah any of those are great
>tfw no arachnids allowed in the thread apparently
>i guess ill follow the thread rules
also
>>25952553
>>25952959
>>25953067
centipedes arent insects, you know that right?
Thread replies: 93
Thread images: 21
Thread DB ID: 454092



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