Since there is a lot of arguments on this board about who is

>>25932344
100% this definition.

Personally I think the requirements should be:
>KHV
>20+
>never appreciated by your peers or parents by how well you did in schooling
>never had friends past middle school
>bullied
though this is just me describing myself and I would really prefer to be in a club with only myself and the "to each his own" thrown out the window, but when I was in school (went to multiple schools) everyone, even geeks were in clicks, everyone except me being the "new kid".

>>25932344
To be a robot:

>Be a post filtering algorithm designed by the creator of XKCD to ensure original content.

That's it. Everyone is just an /r9k/ user, or if you're enough of an oldfag you can call yourself a Gentleman even though that's kind of gay as fuck.

Everyone elses' definition can fuck off back to funnyjunk.

>wagekeks and unifags imo still count as robots
No they don't

>>25932344
So, my question is, if I'm a fucked up individual who has been rejected by every other subculture and "hangout" on the web, where the fuck do I belong if I don't meet this criteria for one reason or another?

No set requirements.
I fit OPs requirements though and those seem like the requirements I would make if I had to but I think there's exceptions

I've always used it like arcanine, it's for anyone who posts here.

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>>25932344
>tfw you literally fit all the criteria

Why do you have to ruin my dreams of at least being a cyborg?

>>25932344
You described a failed normie, failed normies aren't robots, and robots aren't failed normies.

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>>25932543
I don't care, but certainly not here
>>25932533
Some of us have to make a living anon
>>25932607
Im sorry anon, have a cute anime girl to make up for it

>>25932533
Give me two good reasons why they don't count.

>>25932637
What would you change then?
Should I add attention whoring tripfag :^)

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>>25932344
>very few is less than 5
>tfw in highschool I had 2 friends and thought I was normalfagging it up

>>25932659
wagecucks
>voluntarily be around others
for the jobs like being a librarian I guess they could be robots
unifags
>voluntarily be around others

To be a robot is easy, There is one requirement
>actively avoid social situations and contact
nothing else matters

>>25932710
Only if the unifag sticks around after class and sits anywhere else but the front or back row.

>>25932710
>be unifag
>literally just watch all my lectures online so I don't have to be around other people
>only go for labs, dont talk to anyone, leave immediately when done

>>25932723
Geuss how I know you are a normie

>>25932723
being a robot isn't just about how you treat others, its about how others treat you

by your logic aubrey plaza is a robot

>>25932710
Are you retarded? People don't go to fucking uni to socialise, you dipshit, and same goes for jobs. People need to make a fucking living. Some people want tertiary education. When I was at uni I basically only left my dorm for food and lectures. And people have to have jobs because they don't want to be some shut in neetfag, not because they want to be around people
Holy fucking shit you are deluded.

>>25932637
>>25932677
>shrekt
fuck you 4chan, I don't care if shrekt is unoriginal. Fascist fucks

>>25932738
failed normie detected, go whine about your faggy personal problems elsewhere loser
>>25932751
>an actress
>a robot
actively avoids social contact and situations means avoiding contact. no buts. anyone not doing that is a normie.

>>25932710
Delusional NEET detected. Sometimes people work to be able to get out of their parents home, who only complain and try to make me become a normie.

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>>25932677
I would say those describe a failed normie well. I think a true robot is someone who is separate by society, not by circumstance but by being. They simply don't relate to normies, and choose to be living in robothood. People who are only robotic because of misfortune are simply relegated to it, they would crawl off to be a normie if they could. Real robots may be in the same boat, but with no desire to become a normie, or they function in society but remain robotic, or they may even be capable of being a Chad if that was what they wanted.

>>25932753
It doesn't matter if they go to uni to socialize, if you voluntarily go to a place for a whole fucking year for many years with people and you're not afraid of people because of how they've wronged you in the past, you're a normie

Here is the official definition passed down from generations at the house of korbitz.

>You dont fit in anywhere else

>>25932344
>kissless, handholdless, conversationless, hugless virgin
>literally have no friends, havent spoken to someone that wasnt family for about 5-6 months
>last time i spoke to a girl that wasnt family was about a year or two ago
>last time i left the house was about a week ago
>last time i showered was about a week ago
>cant remember the last time i brushed my teeth
>skinnyfat
>nothing but cheap clothes to wear that i havent washed for ages
>never had a job
>dropped out of school 2 years ago and have been neet since
>not disfigurement level ugly but by no means attractive
>spend all night playing vidya, watching films and shitposting on 4chan and youtube
>18
am i a robot?

>>25932826
>ever having seen a person in your life
>robot
That's literally how you fucking sound. I went to uni because I needed a job. I didn't go to a
ANY of the fucking parties or introduction things for the freshers. I barely saw anyone.
Seriously, if you believe that people ACTUALLY a go to uni or their jobs because of wanting to be social just kill yourself. Being a NEET has destroyed your rational view on reality.

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>>25932869
Yeah you made the cut, now go shower. Even slothing about feels better clean and in your undies.

>>25932898
water makes me uncomfortable

>>25932895
your early years are not up to you, by going to uni is a choice that your parents or anyone else can make you

you know how I know you're a normie? You feel the most normalfag and plebeian feeling there is, hate.

>>25932962
I meant to say that it's a choice that anyone else can't make you do

>>25932962
Should I add edgelord to the list?

>>25932962
>hate
>normie emotion
no normies are into peace, love and understanding and all that bullshit

>>25932993
sure, edgelord can only feel hate and violence, and the kind of violence meant to destroy and demean and not to liberate

>>25932977
>the going to uni is a choice meme
I want a decent job because I want achievements in my later life to represent my lack of achievements earlier. I want a decent stem job. And if I have to go to campus with a bunch of normies that I hate, then so be it. I'm not going to let my hate of normies stop me from getting a job. I'll avoid them if I can, but otherwise I'll just try to be invisible. Stay mad.

>>25932344
Fits my description. Uni fucking sucks desu. I hate all these god damn faggots here at my dorm. Noisy fucks. They are interrupting me from my shit posting Also no friends either. Also fat. Will die alone for sure. Anyone want my Anime DVD collection when I die?

>>25933038
>I want a decent job because I want achievements in my later life to represent my lack of achievements earlier
and when you're dead? those "achievements" won't make a difference, if you have to be around normie that you hate, you aren't living your life correctly. you have a limited time on earth and if you're putting yourself in a place where you suffer the whole time (and will defend it on a Taiwanese draw mat), you might as well not have lived at all

Can I be a robot if I've only ever paid for sex, and have never done anything with a girl for free?

>>25933112
>being around normies for a couple of years
>"you aren't living your life correctly"
What makes you think I'll hate my job? Do you honestly think I studied particle physics age 14 to be a paper pusher? I've already been in contact with CERN for a possible apprenticeship. The paperwork for a Swiss work permit and visa is almost done. If I enjoy what I do and it makes me a shitload of cash (more than you'll ever have) then that IS my life. By your logic, if I wanted to breathe:
>why breathe if you'll be dead eventually
>just don't breathe, the end result is the same
Literally retarded.

>>25932815
Which description do you fit?


I thought you left

>>25933132
Yeah, I would say so
It doesn't count if you pay

>>25933175
If you ever work at CREN please sabatouge the Huge Collider so that every Normie in the galaxy gets sucked into a man made black hole. k thanks.

>>25933132
How can I buys sex?

>>25933175
you're projecting who you think I am just because I am a NEET. I am sorry that I couldn't have lived such an easy life as you to even be put in a situation as that, but I've found my own resolve. Your resolve is one of a normie, the "have a job and make lots of money xDD and shit lmao" one

I am saying if you're going to surround yourself with money and have a job, you'll never have enough, never feel complete

My resolve is to comfort myself and be happy, can you say the same?

>>25933222
Black holes are unstable and radiate mass. Also the energy to make one is a fuck ton, so even if cern managed to create a mini black hole it would dissapear in a fraction of a second. So unfortunately, I cant.

>>25933249
You sounds severely underage

>>25933265
Nice rebuttal, throw more insults at me

>>25933249
Yes. I find comfort in the fact that I succeeded my earliest goal. A goal which took 25 years of my life. The money and extra shit is just a bonus, I would do it for minimum wage. And when the economic crash comes, you'll be the one starving to death because the cover meant cut your tendie bucks. You find comfort at being at the mercy of government and alr day having fuck all money?

>>25933285
>And when the economic crash comes, you'll be the one starving to death because the cover meant cut your tendie bucks. You find comfort at being at the mercy of government and alr day having fuck all money?
at least I'll die happy, the economy crashing will also affect you too

>all these robots fighting one another
now now guys. We cannot let ourselves forget who the real villains are. Stop insulting each other and lets do something about the chad Stacy problem instead.

If you want to be a normalfag and loathe genetically superior robots for having had the opportunity to go for it, it is you who are a failed normalfag. If you really dislike being a fucking loser so much, do something about it and leave.

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OP here, good job guys

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No friends has to be a requirement to be a robot.

Otherwise we need another category for people who, like me , have spent life alone. Never had a friend of any description, and don't want any.

The idea of people on this board wishing their life was different and that the had some friends is just pathetic and you fuckers are not robots, you are failed normies.

>>25932344
>Male
>22
>Have a kid, divorced
>Dating a girl
>No one I consider to be a friend, a status I only apply to those who can match my loyalty (no one)
>Work for Comcast, go to school for special education

I'm a fallen NEET. Long story.

>>25932344
The only thing necessary is sympathy to the common robot feels. Certain groups of people are more likely to do this (NEETS, virgins, ugly/fat people, males), but anyone can. If a 10/10 Chad who regularly fucks girls and goes to parties can understand why I'd piss in bottles to avoid people than I'd consider him a robot.

>>25933439
>can understand
Someone who learns about the feeling through not first-hand experience will never truly understand

I agree except I'd remove kissless from the list. If you're over 18 and a virgin it doesn't change much that you kissed a girl once or twice, you're still pretty deep in the shit.