>be me, move to fucking Utah with family in 7th grade >holy god everyone is Mormon >go to Mormon Church to try and meet people make friends >feels fucking weird, alienated, go through middle school with no real friends >even hung out with these two beaners and we got suspended for throwing soap all over the bathroom >9th grade, "friends" with all the Chads. I got to this point by goofing off at school and being naughty as fuck during class. Make everyone laugh >realize my humor is my only quality >get BTFO by Mormon Chads. They make up lies about me, I'm depressed mode. Felt like I had almost made it. >tell mom that God is a fucker >get grounded
>summer before 10th grade, have a couple friends. They're kinda autists too. We get BTFO by every girl we try to talk to >I relate to them heavy, we go to Wendys every night and I'm happy >10th grade, Chads want me back because I had a starter gun (fires blanks loud as fuck) >They thought it was fun as hell to scare people with it. >Ditch my friends like a fucking asshole >felt justified because they had gotten into drugs and I was straight edge >So now I'm back with the Chads >but they're still cunty, rarely get invited to stuff, feels bad, so now what?
>school becomes fun, we fuck around all day, and high school is easy as all hell >friend problems become minimal, old friends from summer are back too, by 11th grade we have a big group of Chads and bots and we all get along >is this the Mormon dream desu? >been faking Mormonism to get girls to talk to me >friends know I'm not religious >say fuck God, Chads laugh >okay life is alright, high school isn't that bad
>senior year, I'm pretty happy, people like me I think, wishing HS would last forever. >Oh god, start talking to a girl >Molly Mormon 9/10 way out of my league >we become involved, take it slow, but holy fuck It's working >what the fuck is going on >our first kiss, this is getting real. Find out she was still hitting up her ex, feels bad, but confess feelings to her anyways >she drops ex, I'm happy. She asks me to a dance, and we go >the day of dance, she tells me she saw a YouTube video of me freestyle rapping, "wtf anon, you say fuck God and fuck Jesus Christ in your rap! I'm sickened!" >heart drops, ohfuckme. >somehow salvage night, thought it was over but guess not. >we continue seeing each other
>fast forward a little, I ask her to prom. Romantic as fuck, wowie she says yes >sometimes she invites me over while she babysits, we do shit >Everything but oral, so where's the problem? >oh my god she's Mormon mode. She's nuts. Crazy about the church but somehow we still do stuff. >feels good that I'm turning her away from the church >go to prom, fuck me I'm in love with her >tell her >she doesn't say it back but loves hearing it >I'm nervous, find out that a ton of my classmates would talk bad about me to her, and say I was the antichrist >it actually works, she almost breaks up with me >summer break happens, we graduate, still in love, still happy together >she starts acting distant, I'm sweating, I'm fucked I know it >just get it over with. I go over after a few weeks not seeing her. She can't end things >D-does she love me? >week later, breaks up with me >her reason "I don't share her standards" >realize it's her Mormonism that's fucking it all up
>depressed, heartbroken >fight for her back >kinda works, but she's playing with my head, keeping me around >we hook up again >texts me after "we're done for good,that was not okay" >all I did was handslam her >oh fuck I forgot I was moving to Georgia at the end of the summer >barely see her >feelings are still there for both of us >spend my last 3 days with her, fuck this is hard >leave, cry, she cries too. So in love >living in GA, start college, we grow distant >still in contact with friends, not really her >try not to think about her, but wear her hair tie around my wrist every day
>visiting after the semester ends >we talk the day before I fly out to Utah, tells me how what we did fucked her life. Says her kids in heaven watched the naughty things we did >what in the fuck >Mormons.jpg >same night, she tells me she still thinks about how it felt to do what we did >get the fuck out of my head >I come back >she calls, but bails on me, then she calls the next day bawling >tells me her church leader said not to see me ever again >I'm pissed as fuck, but I know she'll let me see her >bitch surprises me at Panda Express, I almost vomit hehe but she still likes me. Tells me to my face that she wants to marry me but can't because her "Patriarchal Blessing" says she won't >Mormons know the future
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