I have schizophrenia and i question my actions every day. The distant screaming wont stop and the figures wont go away. When someone questions me on what i did/said, its driving me crazy. Im scared ill lose everything ive worked for, and ill get lost in the haze of illusions that surround my office job. Fuck.
>kissless beta virgin robot with severe OCD >go to mental hospital >meet qt3.14 who legitimately (as far as I can tell) likes me >get to know her very well >she's there for severe depression >tells me I make her happy, if only for a little >tells me that she plans on killing herself when she gets out >tells me that she's having second thoughts about it now >fast forward a few months >insurance cuts out, roughly kicked out of the hospital without the chance to say goodbye to qt >have her name, but she isn't on any social media >this was a year ago >never stopped looking for her >never found her >she's probably dead
So, I was going to break up with my girlfriend, however I think she felt a disturbance in the force and now she's doing everything she was lacking before. The problem is, now there's someone else and I'm not sure if things can never go back how they were with her even if she stays on this course. It's actually quite frustrating.
>>25895873 no OP, but don't fucking worry about being lucky enough to not have a ton of problems.
I didn't have an easy life, in fact, I grew up in a fucking ghetto as the only white kid with 2 miles. That was hard -- but I don't hate people who don't have to deal with shit like that. I don't hold any grudges against people who happened to be born into different situations. It's pointless, and nobody else on Earth who has a triple digit IQ would think like that either.
If you grew up with money and choose to spend your time watching anime and playing video games, power fucking to you.
>lonely software engineer, possible autism >qt big belly red head moves in next door >we begin fucking >introduce each other to our friends, we are now dating >now we are basically living together (because neighbors) >she tells me she has to move 4 miles away for her new job, we will no longer be neighbors >4 miles doesn't seem far but we're in a city
I don't know what to do anons. It's clear we will break up from this. Going from living together to living 4 miles apart.
Rarely have any thoughts "actively". So it feels like I am in some kind of movie. Whenever I do have thought I have to try really hard and I feel something in my brains similar to electricity. Almost like it tingles. When I do have thoughts, 75% of them are suicidal thoughts. All I do is improvising. Help please, only meds I ever used was Ritalin.
>>25896037 Never heard of it. It's so weird. I really am scared when I look in a mirror, when I look myself into my eyes it's like I am watching someone else. When I think of the actions I just did it's all so weird.
>>25895984 Good luck with that. I work harder than ever before and yet almost all of my income goes to rent. The ideal situation would be living with your parents while saving for your future until you are done with college.
>>25896080 At some point you have to trust someone to help you. It must be difficult, but you should try reading about your illness and see if there are any medicines that can help you. Maybe then it is possible to get a doctor to prescribe those medicines.
It may sound cheesy but reading your comment reminded me of the time when air hostesses let you know that "before you help others, you must help yourself.
>From education to full time job >Completely lose interest in gaming, anime, tv shows, drawing, sports, everything >Sometimes call in sick because i hate my job >Stay home even though i have nothing to do
There are people in prison right now having a better time than me.
I think you're kinda like my NEET friend. All he does is learn and study-- he knows 9 languages, plays a couple instruments, and has great mastery over math, science, and literature. When I was in college, he tutored me in Calc 3 and entered a paper into a creative writing scholarship for me(Which won, I don't know the criteria). Intelligent and handsome dude(no homo), I have no idea why he's a NEET.
I haven't seen him online for a while; he's probably dead or finally decided to venture out to the world. I hope it's the latter.
I just found out my Gf is/was a massive whore, and lied about being said whore to me. I always kind of expected her to be, there were more than a couple of red flags, and I always kind of expected all women to be, thanks to based r9k redpilling.
It still hurts like a bitch thought
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