So robowats how do you hide your apathy and depression from others?

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Before I just used to be the happy guy, the one that would listen to other people's shit and I'd get feelings of gratification for it. If I got REALLY low I'd head for the music block and just make some music or something.

I've stopped bothering for the most part now. Now I feel I'm surrounded by people who seem to care about me I'm being more open about finding life pointless. I'm careful not to drive them away, but now people know at least a fraction of whats going on.

>>25887305
doesn't really help but thanks

>>25887318
I don't know how to help

But I've found that being at least partly honest is better than the empty feeling pretending gave me

>>25887335
I don't feel a need to share my feelings.. I just want to be able to hold down a job

>>25887159
Get some adderall/amphetamine, works wonders.

I personally don't consume it everyday, but like twice a month when I need to be awake and aware of my surroundings I take some.

If you have seriously lost the willpower to even pretend to not look depressed, in my experience, certain drugs help. But none of that hard shit like coke or heroin, it's just gonna make it worse.

>>25887159
I've had success in the past by following 2 steps.
1. Be communicative enough to do good work
2. Carry the slightest bit of banter - if it's weird enough to end a conversation, so much the better

There is a 3: Have both a presentable past and a "normally" ambitious present; talk about gf's, novel experiences, your assets, etc. This is where I run into trouble, since there's no reason for them to know any of this, other than that they've gushed it all forth on their own parts.

>>25887159
I'm so alone

I've been sad since i was about 7or 8 years old

I've always thought about suicide

I hate anyone who likes me, because I hate myself, and if someone likes me, it shows they have bad taste

I used to do so so so many drugs

Nowadays im qutting everything, have some trouble with drinking and nicotene

But life is looking up

And still, i am not happy, I took a class, I moved away, i have no friends, but you know I'm here to stay

And if this is as good as it gets, I'm sorry. But I'll always try to feel better, or do something different.

I meet people, many of them like me. But you couldn't make me not alone. No matter what, No matter how many girls, no matter how many parties I have, I am alone. And you couldn't make me not alone.

>>25887379
drugs are a bit of a problem, as they're expensive and ilegal, also I don't think it's possible to take them for 30 days a month..

>If you have seriously lost the willpower to even pretend to not look depressed,
I've managed to do it when I was younger but now it seems impossible, like I don't have the required energy to be social. no idea why it's so hard to fake cheerfulness

>>25887433
CRAAAAWLIING IIIIINNNN MY SKIIIINNNNNN
THESE WOUNDS THEY WILLL NOT HEAAAALL

>>25887433
Im sorry for you m8. but this is a thread for people not able to hide their depression, and tips on how to deal with that. your situation is similiar to mine when I was younger but now I've lot the ability to fake it. I advice you anyway to retain the ability to fake cheerfulness as once you lose it you can't really function in society.

>>25887459
>and ilegal
Adderall is prescribed pretty commonly in the US. Even if you're not in the US, go talk to a doctor, they'll probably give you something. Just don't ask for any drugs or any specific drugs, they'll think you're a junkie looking for a fix and not someone with actual problems. Tell them your problems, tell them you're tired all day and aren't willing to do shit.

From someone with experience with stuff like this, depression drugs are very shitty(zoloft and so on), the wakefulness and ADHD meds are the real deal(modafinil, adderall), so trying to claim tiredness is the way to go.

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Simply i understand that no one gives a fuck about you, you are some kind of "card" to others
useful and disposable.
Society is basically this.
I don't even had the energy to get angry at normies they just work like that, it's something completely natural for a normal human being.
Since i can't be a normal human being i choose isolation as my path.
my emotions are for me same with my thoughts.

the world gave me nothing then i will pay with the same coin

>>25887543
will adderall actually make you more social?

>>25887508
You don't have to fake it if you're at least a little bit attractive and APPEAR to have your sit together. You're not that depressed quiet faggot but that mysterious serious guy who is kinda badass, if you know how to pull it off.8 don't talk to anyone at my workplace and I'm the doorman at a bar. I'll typically make some banter every now and then but most of the time I don't even bother and Chill on my phone. Even then I'm pretty /fit/, kinda attractive. So people don't think I'm weird in fact that respect me and my boss loves how I get work done and don't bullshit about.

Basically stay on your shit and you can do whatever you want. Be helpful and you don't have to be the most friendly happy person. Even then at least TRY sometime to talk ably sons Normie shit

>>25887588
Yes. Adderall is amphetamine, amphetamine is known for its recreational use, stimulation and increased social awareness.

I recommend staying away from xanax and all those other benzos.

>>25887590
my experience was different. I think I'm about 5/10 also kinda fit (not skelly, a bit muscular) but I already quit one job because the boss told me I was "too quiet" so I figured I should quit before he fires me.

>>25887159
not depressed, just dont like most people
and its not that i hide emotions, i just dont show them, mostly ignore people etc

pretty sure my life would be better if i would show emotions towards other people but ive been burnt by friends and girls too many times to do it again

every time i like a girk and tell her it all goes to shit
it seems people love an asshole that ignores them and gives them shit so i became one

I just pretend I'm a snob. They can't look down on me if they think I'm looking down on them. Then again I'm a narcissist so I may not actually be pretending. It's easy when I'm better than everyone in every way.

>>25887675
Sounds like a lame excuse to me. What job was it? He would keep you regardless if you were quiet if you were productive, I'd think. Unless it was just a job where you absolutely needed to talk to people. In which case you shouldn't be working there depressed or if you naturally not talkative

>>25887159
Hmm.
I've been apathetic - and what you can probably call depressed since I was like 8.
No friends, no place I belong, constant feelings of self-doubt etc.
I hide it by not getting close to anyone. I can feel good for short amounts of time.
I can just go by pure professionalism, which kind of blocks out those apathy/depression shits.

Basically, either behave like on the job or as if you're a shitfaced 10 year old kid that drank some of daddy's whiskey and just found out what masturbation is.

>>25887719
>Unless it was just a job where you absolutely needed to talk to people.
but that's basically any job above minimum wage.

>>25887639
Is Adderall prescribed by a regular doctor or do you have to see a psychiatrist? what should I tell the doctor so he wouldn't give me some other kind of medication?

>>25887719
It was tech support. I had no trouble talking to and helping people who called (although they often said I sound like I just woke up, but it didn't hurt anything) but I probably wasn't talkative enough with the other coworkers or something.

>>25887882
Screw it then man just find another job with people who give less of a fuck. Find a job where people are NEEDED. And they can't fire you over dumb shit like that

>>25887904
maybe only blue collar? I think every white collar job is like this. a depressed person would probably not even pass the interview

>>25887159
>So robowats how do you hide your apathy and depression from others?

I don't. No reason to bother. As long as you have decent hygiene and a good work ethic there are jobs out there where you'll be fine.

I'll tell you personally, that working in healthcare I've gotten very good at lying so I put on my customer service act for patients and my boss, but otherwise apathy and depression is the status quo.

>>25887988
There ya go. Factory work is always hiring. This job I got now is because no one wants to work till fucking 4am in the morning . All I do is text and swipe a few ids.

>>25887461
well meme'd, frnd

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>>25887159
I was never able to hide depression i was always sad as a kid because my family is terrible. I did try to get over it many times, finding myself, going out with drug friends and go to clubs. Nothing helped solve the issue i could be happy temporarily but when i sobered up it was all over. My "friends" started calling me "depression" and it was then i realized i had no friends and i had been spending lots of time with vultures.

I think one of the turning points for me was when my mom took me to a fraud psychologist who told her i was not actually depressed or had any problems i was just lazy. It was then i could no more fool myself anyone will ever get it and i started pushing out everyone out of my inner life.

At least now i have this place where there are so many people i can at least partially relate to.I have always been miserable but in the end i still don't want to kill myself because of those little bits of happiness that sometime come my way. I just wish i could be more consistent and more energetic, not the living dead most of the time.

>>25888058
But aren't those few moments of happy so much worth it when you aren't expecting them

>>25888142
Yeah man. I have nothing going good for me right now in my life but sometimes i get those little blissful moments like when i don't wanna go out for groceries in the rain but i still do and it turns out the rain isn't really strong, it smells nice and then sun gently shines on me.
Or when my cat does something stupid and funny.

Only after colossal amounts of pain i started noticing such things. I don't know if it's enough to keep me going though.

>>25888183
Well you can have the good without going through the bad. I sabotaged my life plenty just to take in those blissful happy moments. I might be crazy, but I've always loved the rush of pushing what I can to the limit . It makes life bearable and worth living, at least to me. I remember back when I was younger actually crying, being in actual tears of not being able to join my older brother in the weight room.

>>25887838

I first got it from a family doctor, then I got it from the uni clinic, then I got it from a psychiatrist but he made me do an interview with a psychologist first. Currently I get it from a family nurse practitioner, but she wanted me to see a psychologist first until I told her I recently saw one and released my records to her. Look up the dsm criteria, play down any anxiety you have(stims are contraindicated and anxiety could mimic adhd) , and try to rule out depression(procrastination and shit memory/concentration are classiccdepression, and you can't lose your license over rxing Prozac). Some big ones are you had behavioral problems going back as long as you can remember, first diagnosed in 1st or 2nd grade. I'm 26 and took some computer test with squares and clicking when they changed or something, if you're my age this detail could add credibility to your lie. Other big things are misplacing everything, rereading the same sentence over and over, or reading paragraphs only to realize pages later it was like in one eye and out the other, same with speech and spacing out. Absolutely critical are it existing since childhood and it impairing youryour daily life. Fidgeting, constantly feeling like you have to move like driven by a motor, and impulsivity are other good ones, but skew towards adhd. They're both treated with amphetamine. Dress well, appear responsible, be open to cbt in addition to drug therapy(basically life hacks for retards like hang lunch on door knob, sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, bowl for wallet, keys, and phone, etc.). Depending on how much you want to lie you can mention hating Ritalin as a kid if your made up adhd was treated. Vyvanse is better than Adderall but expensive and new. It might be harder to get away with without records. Seeing doctors in college towns or junkie nigger neighborhoods where you basically write your own rx are better for obvious reasons.

>>25888000

Night shift Healthcare is goat. Everyone is fucked up somehow but there's a camaraderie of sorts if you can get a good team. I've gotten good at putting on my warface too, but nights are so chill it's hardly necessary, and if it's really bad you can just say you're tired and get away with it. I always thought medical was the perfect robot job.