>tfw turned 20
>tfw did nothing but vidya in my teenage years
>tfw was always lazy in school and never learned to study properly
>tfw interested in science and math
>tfw have problems studying now at university
>tfw physics major
>tfw realized merely interest isn't enough to study physics
>tfw don't know why I just didn't pick engineering
>tfw first exams in 4 weeks
>tfw try to study at least an hour everyday
>tfw feel like it's not enough
>tfw I don't know if I should change to engineering or stay in physics and just try to get through
>tfw there's no go-back after the first semester, I have to change now if I'm going to
>tfw life at uni is pretty shit
>tfw life after uni won't get any better
>tfw 20 year old KHV
Life's pretty shit.
How do you do this? I wake up at 7 am, go to university, and come back 18 pm. I try to study at least one hour after that.
Some days it's fine, but most of the time I'm fucking tired when I get home. How am I supposed to study? I just don't get it.
Yeah, life doesn't get much better.
I suggest reading Ishmael by Daniel Quinn, and learning some healthy coping mechanisms. School is just a waste of time meant to keep young people from entering the work force until older workers retire. You never really use anything you learned in school except in school. Most jobs are like high school pretty much, in that you're doing menial tasks throughout the day for strangers and you're forced into awkward social hierarchies and situations for the sake of work to be done for existential reasons or peoples.
There's really no purpose for what people do beyond surviving and manipulating other people to work to make your life easier.
Nigga, doctors follow protocols and instructions like any high school kid. Most laws and regulations restrict whatever autonomy you think they have.
America is especially fucked when it comes to doctors and how they're trained and perceived.
Are you aware doctors in america go to at least 8 years of school, accumulate $250,000 worth of school debt which can't disappear with bankruptcy, work as a student/resident at about $5 an hour after you take call and 80+ hour work weeks into account and oh yeah you gotta start paying loans then too, you don't get to dictate your own hours, you can join a union or negotiate collective bargaining, and your retirement is based on a fraction of your current salary not cumulative over the years.
Trust me, only delusional retards become doctors in america
How do I change myself for the good? It's not like I completely hate my choice of going into physics.
I realized my reason for going into it was shit, but now I don't want to quit it. I actually want to do this, just not for the same reason anymore.
I admit, yeah, I feel like I still have this HS mentality. But how do I fix it? Everytime I get home, I start thinking about how painful it is to sit 4 fours at my desk, studying, and go to sleep again. I say to myself it's actually not that hard what I heard at those lectures, but then I reailize that I can't do shit when have to do exercises. This shit repeats again and again.
I still kinda got the habit of my HS days. I want to come home, relax and play vidya. Worked fine in HS.
Got tips on how to fix myself? I want to do it, it's just pretty damn hard for me.
Agreed, but America is land of the snakes and home of the slaves. Businesses are people here and their needs supercede those of ordinary biological stock.
Oh, and they CAN'T form unions or collective bargaining groups
Oh hey me too, hello buddy :) Same rythm here but I have to work at the hospital in the morning.
Until I started studying medicine I didn't do jack shit either and spent my time playing vydia. You just force yourself to do it until it becomes a habit, there's no other way. You have to live it to acquire the right mentality, there's no such thing as "I'll read a book or listen to advices then my way of thinking will change"
If you wanna do it then do it.
It sounds like you're seeking validation for the things you do. As an adult now, you will not get this nearly as much. You will have to often work for zero thanks. You will have to do chores cuz they need to get done. Habits develop as you do them.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Most grown adults are like you and just wanna go home and screw around. Shit, I'm 30 and still do it. I just gotta go be a wageslave for 40 hours a week now which is grueling but I make it manageable. If you don't have kids it really allows you to live the life how you want to live it.
The key is to find something you can tolerate every day. That's it. Your job will never be this amazing thing that completes your life. It's just a job after all.