>>25863456 It feels bad. I'm weird, I do weird stuff, I'm into weird stuff, I create autistic stuff, I'm one of those autists that's in "fandoms" and I hate it but it's too addictive to my autistic mind. It feels terrible knowing I'll never have a normal brain function. I would pledge my soul to satan to not be a sperg.
>>25864461 Don't bother, I tried getting tested as well. They drag out meetings for six months with a guy who wasn't even a proper psychiatrist. Eventually, they let me meet a real psychiatrist. he said I did not have Aspergers, but I was mildly on the autism spectrum anyways, then he tried to sell me drugs. I didn't choose the drug treatment, which is a shame because it's the only treatment available. Summing it up, I learned nothing and wasted time. Of course, I sometimes wonder if I was just an edgy teenager who was just bored and somewhat of a deep thinker. I'll never know for certain.
>Be aspie >Born with shit social behavior >Bullied really hard for it during my early teenage years >Learn very slowly how to interact with other people but still pretty bad at it >Always paranoid for what others might think of me >Constantly nervous when I interact with people because of it It's shit. The only good part is that if something interests me, I have a really easy time to learn.
>>25863456 >Diagnosed with assburgers at age 8 >Check symptoms a few months ago >Don't have difficulty reading emotions (except my own), or with non-verbal language >Don't have weird hand movements, or other tics that I'm aware of >Despise any kind of routine >Don't have any narrow interests >Don't have sensory issues other than not liking loud noise Really the only symptoms that still fit are shit social skills and avoiding social interaction as much as possible. Am I still aspie?
>>25866554 Man anon, I feel those feels. >Only recently diagnosed with aspergers >Was always quite lacking socially >Bullied to all hell, surprised that people didn't yell at me to kill myself at times. > Have to analyse and adapt to understand human interaction; question it VERY often. >Always find myself trying to talk and be interesting but apparently my complex topics are too booooring. > Try to socialize but immediately become overwhelmed with boredom around others because my mind moves too fast and my words hit too slow.
I hope your interests aren't randomly insulted or degraded. The rolling of eyes is the fucking worst.
>>25863456 It's like being an alien in my own homeland. I never talk to anyone, I have one(1) friend, I was bullied in chool. It's basically being a hermit/foreigner with shitty social understanding. Body language is nonexistent. The good things are that when I do something interesting, I'll probably remember the details for the rest of my life. Too bad I'm only interested in anime and vidya.
>>25866295 Yeah I thought I was autistic or something for years, but then I started showing psychotic symptoms too and I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Illnesses on the schizo spectrum (schizophrenia, schizotypal, schizoid, schizoaffective; they're all the same just different in degree) impair your ability to relate to others. They make you speak in a monotone, with a flat emotionless face, and they make you use weird mannerisms and wordplay. Your thoughts are either rapid and cluttered or completely silent, both of which make conversation very difficult. Another major symptom of schizo illnesses is social withdrawal, you get locked up inside your head and it's hard to get out. You develop strange hobbies, interests, and obsessions that will make people think you're weird or creepy. All of these symptoms can be mistaken for autism. I think I've read that schizophrenia and autism have a close relationship. You build this elaborate internal world with your imagination that no one else could ever understand; you become so cut off from society, and soon you're developing strong beliefs in things that aren't true, and you have your first psychotic episode.
It's just something for robots to watch out for; schizophrenia, and all other disorders on the schizo spectrum, is an awful illness if it isn't caught early. Medication does help. I'll admit, the first few months of medication suck a lot. It's easy to become depressed because the anti-psychotics blunt your emotions and your drive to do anything. Your thoughts slow down, which helps a lot with the delusional thinking, but sometimes they slow down too much and it's hard to get yourself to be interested in anything. And it's really tough getting out of a delusion. Imagine having a really meaningful internal world where everything made sense to you, and all of a sudden it's gone: there's nothing left but the dismal, cold, uncaring reality around us.
You have to replace your internal world with hobbies, things to keep yourself busy and to look forward to. It's really hard because the medication makes you just wanna lie in bed all day, zombied out. But your illness gives you the gift of awesome creativity. The way schizos think is so unlike the way sane people think; it's much more free, disconnected, and abstract.
The medication gets better after about half a year, and you'll stop feeling so sluggish and zombie-like. You gotta keep up with creative activities, to open up your head to others. "Schizo" means "split apart", and it refers to how schizophrenics are split off from reality. It makes you stuck in your head, cut off from reality, and that's why you see/hear/believe things that aren't there and aren't logical.
Schizo illnesses have what are called "negative symptoms", things neurotypical people have that you don't. They include memory problems, motivationlessness, an inability to show emotions, and muteness. These symptoms are much harder to treat with medication. Once you get the hallucinations, delusions, and rapid thoughts under control, you'll find that the negative symptoms slip away over the following months. I believe the negative symptoms are a natural reaction to being stuck in your head, seeing and thinking things that other people can't understand. It alienates you from society, and you very logically withdraw because if you talk about what you're experiencing you'll be labeled insane. It's a good idea to get a therapist, a good one will listen to you without judgment and give good advice for working through the things you're struggling with in your head. Even if it's completely delusional thinking, a good therapist will show you respect and recognize your thoughts as manifestations of what you're going through, manifestations that have to be worked through.
>>25867535 Nothing really for the last... 5 or so years. Things have gone flat. But before that, things to do with my "obsessions" - I was super into space and such, and doing something cool with that could get that to happen
>>25867483 I'm high on amphetamine, so that's why I'm typing so much. But I really hope what I've written has helped someone. If you have many of the following symptoms, consider whether you have a schizo illness.
>racing thoughts or poverty of thought >strange use of words, odd body language >inappropriate emotions or no emotion at all >social withdrawal >jumbled, free thoughts that don't make sense when you try to analyze them >strange, obsessional interests in odd things (usually these interests are new and different) >noticing lots of coincidences and having frequent deja vu >trouble sleeping >a lack of motivation >elaborate fantasies and daydreaming >problems taking care of yourself or keeping up with classes/work
Lots of people here might think they have Asperger's when in fact they're showing symptoms of a schizo illness. It's very treatable, through a combination of medication and therapy. Most schizos are able to make a full recovery. Psychosis is something you've gotta keep an eye on if you're showing early signs of schizophrenia. Usually the above symptoms will get much worse, you won't be able to sleep, and then you'll start hearing voices and seeing things. The hallucinations will develop a theme and you'll begin to find meaning in them, increasingly being unable to distinguish them from reality; you'll be convinced that you're being plotted against or that you have supernatural powers or that people are sending you secret messages. Check yourself into a hospital before you hurt yourself. Ideally you want to see a doctor the moment you start hearing and seeing things, because that's a sign your latent illness is waking up. You should see a doctor/therapist even if you're not having hallucinations if you're having the last symptom on my list (struggling to take care of yourself or go to school/work). If it's stopping you from functioning, it's a mental illness and it needs to be treated.
>>25867019 >surprised that people didn't yell at me to kill myself at times. I'm really glad to hear that you at least didn't get to experience that. It leaves really bad scars on your mind.
>Have to analyse and adapt to understand human interaction; question it VERY often. I still do this all the time, it just feels necessary.
>Always find myself trying to talk and be interesting but apparently my complex topics are too booooring. >I hope your interests aren't randomly insulted or degraded. The rolling of eyes is the fucking worst. All the fucking time man. I now tend to keep my interests to myself and mostly only speak when spoken to in real life.
>>25867056 The most notable difference is probably that people with Aspergers generally are more self aware than those with Autism. Autists have a much harder time to understand when they fuck up socially.
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