/Frogs and Feels/

Have about 10 shots of vodka and about 15 beers, currently on beer #9

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i'll take two mountain dews and a qt gf, please

>Tfw absolutely love cheese but lactose intolerant
Green fairy? Is that even a thing anymore?

I'll have a glass of water, please. No lemon.

I can't wait until I become a superbeing.

>>25862240
How long did it take you to type that?

>>25862240
>that feel when you can go through 15 beers in less than two days
>>25862262
Sure anon, here you-
sadly we ran out of tap GFs, gotta have to look elsewhere.
>>25862278
Eh, I say just cheese it when you are home alone. Farts and shits are worth it.
>>25862279
Sure thing.

> tfw 20
>love beer
>no friends to buy it for me

bf broke up with me and well yeah not much to say
ill have some mescal, the whole bottle please barkeep

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I seek a boy named Skywalker in this tavern. Where is he?

>>25862456
Did he at least tell you why?

I'll leave the bottle but take it slow.

>>25862183
I'll take a shot of Vodka and a shot of Whiskey for later.
Made the mistake of going through some old boxes. Now I'm just looking through old pictures of her.

>>25862485
no barkeep he just called it off and said to never talk to him again, ill try my best to not down it all quickly

>>25862183
1 stout please

>>25862502
Oh god. Oh god. I know that feel.
>renovating the place last summer
>find a box of her underwear she left behind
>still smells like her perfume
>also bunch of cds and other small gifts she gave me

Should've burned the fucking stuff. On the other hand it's been a year now, I should really get over it.

>>25862505
Take it easy. Plenty of possible bfs out there.

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Tell me now. Where is Skywalker? Ill destroy this entire star system if I have to.

>>25862615
i dont know i just want my stout :(

>>25862615
Get the fuck out homie, nerd cosplay convention is 3 boards down.

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>>25862593
Stout coming up.

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My information might well be of use to you, Stalker.

Come here. I've always got something interesting for people like you.

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>>25862633
You think that's how it works? No. No.... I'll take down this whole thread.
REEEEEEEEEEE

>>25862644
the only time i had a stout it was huinness from a convenience store

it tasted sour

i really hope thats not how theyre all like

>>25862596
Had a pipe burst in my house and I need to rip out a carpet and re-tile a whole hallway.
It's been close to two years for me, but I just can't stop thinking about her. I miss her and I hate her at the same time for what she did to me. Make that four shots of Vodka barkeep

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>>25862667
Very well. Provide me with the information I seek and you will be handsomely rewarded by the Empire.

>>25862675
Canned guinness is fucking shit mate. I don't have some developed and acquired taste for beers at all, and I tend to like dark beers more than light ones, but canned guiness is some soury shit, it always tastes like it's expiration date has gone by. Try tap one, it's a whole nother story. It's.. not even bitter, almost borderline sweet-ish. Hard to describe, but very tasty and drinkable.

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Actually had a productive day today.

But it won't matter

Like always, I'll wake up tomorrow morning to the instantaneous feeling of despair and hopelessness

>>25862183
Barkeep, something to help me sleep.

I'm afraid of sleep, barkeep.

I'm ashamed to admit it, because it makes me seem like a baby, but I'm terrified of sleep.

I have no idea why. I certainly didn't grow up in the best of households, but I can't put my finger on any one occurrence to be the reason why I have this irrational fear.

I lay awake all night. I'm lucky to get a couple sessions of an hour or two before I spring up. That's the biggest problem: I'm asleep, i can feel myself be asleep, and then I think "Don't wake up, please, don't wake up, just stay asleep", and then I freak out and get out of bed and my heart is racing because I'm afraid or angry or disappointed or just so tired.

I can't afford a therapist, and what the hell would they say? And the only people I ever told this to laughed at me.

So anything to get me to sleep, barkeep. I'm very tired.

>>25862615
You had a fucking Death Star x10 sitting in your arsenal that could obliterate multiple planets and suns at once.

You also had 99.99999% of the map of where Luke was. You just needed a tiny portion of one sector to figure out where he was hiding.

Are you fucking retarded?

You could have just blindfired every planet in that tiny portion that you didn't know about, you stupid fucking pube.

Vodka please, sick and tired of University's shit

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Get me a glass of Stoli on the rocks, 4 shots of Everclear, a pint of Wild Turkey 101, 2 gallons of water, and a bucket and mop on the double.

>>25862773
What's wrong, lad? Wanna tell us about it?

>>25862667
chiki briki oruzhje ubravu~
>>25862691
it's actually been like 4 years for me, but we reconnected for a month a year ago. I know I need to let it go and I am trying to but it came to the point where I had to delete my fb account a month ago because I coudln't stand seeing her pics with her new boyfriend doing all the cutesy shit she used to do with me. Deep down I know the only reason I am fixating is because I havent found anyone to replace her with. When I get a new gf it will surely get better. Now we just need new gfs anon, r-right?

Vodka shots and Three wise men round on the house (Jack, Jim and Johnnie).

>>25862712
How about some coffee to relax first anon?

>>25862714
Sleep disorders are a real medical thing. Go see a regular doctor, he should be able to direct you towards a specialist who will prescribe Melatonin or something similar to it. It's not an issue for a psychiatrist most likely, but lack of sleep will have severe health toll on your body. Don't postpone it, go and get checked soon anon.

>>25862773
Sure thing. Didn't Uni just start again?

>>25862792
I'm not even going to ask.

>>25862802
>How about some coffee to relax first anon?

That sounds pretty good. Can you do iced coffee?

>>25862821
Sure. Milk and sugar is on the side, help yourself.

>>25862183
Barkeep, I could do with a guinness, and right beside it a nice double of Talisker.
I slept with my ex again.
Regret that a bit.
I've got to deal with another girl I picked up in a bar later, regret THAT, too. I've just been blanking her.
Trying to arrange for a sort-of-ex to fly over to me and engage in a crazy, drug-fuelled week of debauchery. I do need to work out where to get mescaline around here, though.
Also I need to convince her to start posting nudes on the internet. I've come to the worrying realisation that after so many years on 4chan and getting off to camwhores that girls being into exhibitionism is one of my major fetishes.

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>>25862860

Thank you sir, keep the change

>>25862802
Y-yeah anon, New gfs. We'll find someone, someday. Maybe. If not Brandy makes a gf. She's a good drink for men who can't find anyone else.
I did the same thing with my account. It hurts watching her doing those things, imagining her saying those things she used to say to you at someone else. We'll make it anon

>>25862869
Son that is fucked up on so many levels but I'd lie if I said it doesn't sound fun. I convinced pretty much every chick I was with to let me snap some lewd pics of her so I get the appeal. Just be responsible. who am I kidding

Beer and whiskey coming up.

>>25862910
It's a conflicting feel. I still think she is a nice person and I dont think she is a slut, but how the fuck can girls get over boyfriends so fucking fast, I will never understand. Sure, loyal ones are loyal, but they will get out of a long term relationship and get into another literally a week later. Another week after that and they are in love.

Its like some ADD equivalent or whatever. For better or worse probably worse, in the end, we are all fucking replaceable.

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This is fuckin cool I don't usually go to bars but I have to be up early I'll have a milk and a rumchata with ice please. Also I like life right now and I'm getting over an ex and have a new gf and she's dumb but sweet and hot and things are ok. Hope you're guys night is as comfy as this post made me feel. Thanks op, you huge faggot.

>>25862954
>dumb but sweet and hot and things are ok

Honestly that's probably the best kind for when you are young. Sounds pretty rad, enjoy yourself.

>>25862912
Barkeep, if there's one phrase that covers me, my life, and almost everything I want to do, it's "fucked up on so many levels".

To be fair, sort-of-ex is pretty into her drugs as it is, and she has on occasion posted pictures of herself on her blog/tumblr thing online, albeit no real nudes.
Just got to nudge that a little somehow.

I'll probably be somewhat responsible, though. Unfortunately, I've got one of those jobs where security clearance is a necessity for career progression, and I'm not so sure getting high as a kite is the world's best idea. I already drink on the job and it's only through the grace of god and the fact that I'm REALLY quite good at my job that I don't get fired.

I'll have a cup of coffee, please.

Man, reading through job vacancy postings is pretty depressing.

>excellent grades achieved in shortest time
>first practical experience in form of internships
>knowledge of these 3 business-only software suits we use

Was at a recruiting event end of last week that calmed my doubts in this regard. Felt nice to hear from professionals that you're doing good and that they're looking for guys like you

Barkeep, a French 75.

I feel the need for something pretentious and ceremonial to salute the universe in its fucking of my ass.

I hope taking a gap year from school won't fuck me up.

>>25862183

I can't find the goddam answers to a past AP test for AP Physics and I have to stay up the rest of the night doing it fucking hell

>>25862954

That pic, top kek

Also nice to hear that things are going great for you

>>25863032
My man, not barkeep, but taking a gap year from school is a pretty important growth process. I didn't, and I really could have benefited from one to grow as a person.
Don't worry about it. You're gonna be awesome.

>>25862947
>we are all replaceable
Here, here anon. That's the truth.
Loyalty is an interesting though, I grown to understand that people will always be more interested in themselves that someone else BUT people can lookout for others if it helps them.
Though I never had a Loyal gf, she cheated on me with some random guy she met on a trip. Told me every detail about their first night together. Told me exactly when they sex for the time. All in a effort to harm me for no reason. She plays it off in effort to make me look like the bad guy then she has the nerve to have her new bf to tell me man up.
People will use people, people will abuse people. The best thing any person can do is try not hurt someone.

>>25863027
Sounds good, hope it works out for you man. I wish I had a nice job like that.
>>25863032
Hah, I like you anon. What happened?
>>25863083
Damn, that's harsh. I was never cheated on, not that I know of. Honestly I wouldn't wish that on anyone, I would probably lose my shit. Though I did insist on my ex telling me who she fucked and how before we reconnected. It's not that i want to torture myself, it's not even insecurity (well, maybe a bit), it's just curiosity. Didn't feel great hearing it, I can tell you that.

>>25863082
You think so?

I think I fucked up with these round of applications, so it may actually end up as more than a year total spent out of school but I'm just so worried that i'm "behind"

How's it goin. I'll take a pint of Killkenny if you have it.

I'm at unit too like that other anon. Things are going alright, I'm about to finish my bfa soon but I'm nervous about what's to come. Everyone expects me to have all these big plans about moving out and "starting my life" but the truth is I'm just comfy here where I live. I don't want to start over with new people. It takes me a while to cozy up to anyone and Im afraid that I'll be isolated and lost on my own. I'll make it but these expectations are killing me when all I really want is to finally live my life for once.

I'll take a glass of scotch too if it's no trouble.

Barkeep here, gonna be away for half an hour, gonna get out and buy some breakfast.

I trust you not to mess with the till. Help yourselves out with refills though.

>>25863148

Sooner or later, you should think about where you want to go in life - if you're on good terms, talk with your parents about that.

Your fear of starting anew somewhere is totally legit, I moved out to do my master somewhere else and I never really found a new circle of friends here.

>>25863140
Struggled with severe depression since junior year of HS. Applied to a bunch of shit schools and then my dream school cause I was on meds that made me a bit foggy and numb.

When it came time to pay, I didn't want to pay 20k a year out of pocket for my dreamschool. I also thought it'd be good to work on my mental health.

I took fall semester off, applied to more shit universities now and my depression crippled me from accepting entry into a half decent one so now I'm stuck a day away from going to a backup that I'm not thrilled going to and costs the same as my dream school I am also going through one of the worst depressive episodes right now.

It may seem like a no-brainer to stay home, take the meds, and resume work with the therapist who i love and am doing great things with, but my parents are the source of my problems as far as mood goes. Staying home is tough, and we might move away a month from now anyway.

I just feel like going into a completely new environment like this with no friends, no therapist, and no meds, will fuck me up bad man, and I don't want a bad transcript to fuck up my future.

Ugh, I don't know what to do. Orientation is tomorrow but I'm not signed up and don't have an ID card.

Hey barmin, got merlot?

I'm fine...kinda tired, but fine. The qt I talk to daily likes me more, I hope. We've been playing Street Fighter 3rd Strike and Alpha 3 lately online and...I suck. Bad. I wanna practice this week so I'll be a challenge. I sure hope these good days will last, barmin. I really like her.

Vodka and coke keep em coming

I have got a day to stop being a vagina and get a fucking job tomorrow

Anyone selling some crack?

>>25863140
Talking about that stuff always hurts, my personal advice would be to cut it off completely. Let time fade away her name, leaving only a few good memories.
The end of a three year relationship all because of a week apart. I hope we feel better anon.

I'll have a double well whiskey neat.

Anyone else here want to fuck their mom?

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>>25863329
No. That really depends on ones own taste and deviant thoughts.

>>25863329
I wanted to fuck my mom when she was younger. i would steal her panties and jack off while sniffing'em. but go on...

Is it even worth having a gf or making sex if you can't even do this with a average-hot looking girl?

;_;

>>25863371
Depends if you want sex or intimacy.

>>25863403
Anon any girl below average disgusts me no matter what.

>>25863142
I know it, my man. You won't be behind; it's not like you can't catch up on stuff with a bit of autodidactism. But you will have a lot of space to grow as a person and work out what you want to do with your life.

>>25863496
So it's about sex. For purely physical pleasure basically your right it's not worth it.

>>25863534
So you are saying you could "fall in love" with an ugo? Nigger get real. Everyone wants an attractive mate. Even for intimacy. At least an average one. Anything ugly is undesirable period.

A water will be fine

I hate being alone with my thoughts so I consume some kind of media until I pass out. That's why I'm here

>>25863556
B-but beauty lies in the eye of the bee holder

>>25863556
Mescaline guy reporting in.
Attractiveness is basically entirely subjective. I've fucked 10/10 women who were shit in bed, and I've slept with chubby, unconventionally attractive women who could suck the dick right off your skeleton and who I still have a wank thinking about every now and then.
If you focus on how attractive a potential partner is from the start, you're automatically going to balls it all up.

I'm back. Went to a nearby bakery to grab a sandwich and I sperged hard in front of the chick working there, which is honestly unusual for me. Had to repeat my order. Anyhow back to drinking.

>>25863217
You should talk to your parents. Honestly, I am afraid to give any sort of advice to people on meds. It's just a whole different world - sorry!

>>25863242
Is qt close to you? Ask her out, do something other than online vidya. Because online vidya never lasts long. Wine for you buddy.

>>25863255
That's an odd combo, but I hope it gets you through anonkun.

>>25863273
Thanks man. God knows I'm trying, but odds are against me in literally every single way. This is some nightmare mode difficulty.

>>25863329
Not really but I hate my mom and don't even talk to her so I am a bad person to ask. I dig mom porn though, does that count? It's not that weird.

>>25863371
Define average. Average is acquirable for everyone so yes - it is. Sex only gets shit with proper fat girls because of physical movement reasons. You feel like you are humping a lazybag. Chubbies are great though.

>>25863578
Good choice.

>>25863353
Go on, yeah? I just have a weird relationship with my mom. Never had much of a father figure. She used to put makeup on me and kiss me and tell me she'd always be my girlfriend.

So I've never really had a girlfriend that measured up to her.

>>25863629
>women
>needing to be good in bed

They only need to know certain things. Like knowing not to death grip your dick if they are sucking it. No teeth, you know. Girls job is really just to lay there and moan fag.

>>25863685
what they need to know is to never ever use teeth and to fucking arch their back properly

latter especially unnerves me

>>25863662
Mom porn definitely counts. Thanks.

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A double Jameson and a Sprite please. The pain in my jaw is making me fucking crazy. I have lots of broken teeth. I will never be whole again. I'm only 30

warm cider please.

is it ok if i sleep in the corner?

>>25863697
Oh yeah definitely the arching of the back shit to.

Just that some of these fags on here seem to have this stupid thought that girls need to do a ton of work when this is not the case. One of my best fucks was this girl just laying their and screaming as I pounded away. She was 5'0 tall and my dick is 7.5 inches. Many girls assume I'm 9 inches big.

Honestly surprised she was able to take it even if it hurt her a bit.

>>25863685
There is nothing in the world more boring than a girl just lying there in bed. Seriously, take it from me. It's like fucking a corpse.
You've got to change it around otherwise sex will get very dull very fast. It's very possible she's not going to get off from penetration alone, either, which means you need to work out a decent position where either she (or you, though you don't strike me as the type who cares) can get at her clit with relative ease, which requires some experience.
As far as blowjobs go, there is a certain art to it. It's not like every girl can deepthroat, for example (or do it in a pleasant way).

>that feel when nose pimple, right on the middle of the slope line
>have a scheduled going out with some friends today and I look like a fucking rudolf the raindeer

>>25862954
Fuck yeah rumchata

>>25863736
Chad Thundercock GO AWAY REEEEE

I'll take a guinness

>tfw your gf got out of jail yesterday

I honestly thought I'd be more excited. But any joy I felt was grossly outweighed by my disappointment in her.

>>25863721
Ouch. Here's the drink, go and see a dentist anonkun.

>>25863732
Sure thing. Yeah, you can sleep here. Turn the heating up if you want to too.

>>25863762
That's an abstract feel alright.

>>25863738
As Jim Jefferies says, "You think you make me cum? I make me cum". Chicks who don't do anything shouldn't really complain about not getting off, but that's a very selective view depending on their personality.

>>25863736
I had chicks with 10/10 wide ass and hips, narrow waist combo who would just make an inverted arch and it made me feel like fucking a turtle. I am not being uneasonable here but seing a chick bend over like she has a broken spine literally makes me go soft. Also it's really a conflicting thing - I always insist on doing all the movement because that way I really feel it the best and I can prolong cumming forever. But I have this involuntary reflex where when I am about to cum I literally stop for a second before I actually ejaculate because of my dick getting too sensitive. Whereas when a chick literally squats on my dick and does everything until I come and then for like 20 seconds afterwards until I tell her to stop literally feels like the best thing ever. Same with handjobs - I hate getting them but when a chick actually makes me come it makes up for everything.

Plus, most of those girls who are "Experienced in bed" can't into rhythm to save their fucking life. More often it feels like she is trying to rip my skin off than trying to stabilize some kind of friction.

>>25863760
If you think that guy is some kind of Chad, you're about as wrong as you could be.
Anyone who brings the size of their cock into the equation unasked is suffering from some self-esteem issues, especially if they think it really matters vastly to most women. Short of having a micropenis, you're normally fine; the main thing about a larger cock is that you are going to need more foreplay to get her wet enough to take it without some pain.

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>>25863865
Dick size matters alright, not even that guy.

I bet you also think being short is okay?

>>25862183
Thought I find myself a girl, thought I was gonna make it out of here

I'm back again

I'll have a helium tank and a bottle of Miller Lite

>>25863885
Sure I do. There's going to be some women who just won't be into you because they've got a preference for tall dudes, but Christ, there are some women out there who only fuck 17-18 year olds. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with growing old.
Posting /fit/-style facebook conversations from the kind of women who want to hang out with someone from Twilight doesn't really prove any kind of point.

>>25863947
You clearly have a misconception with meaning of word "matters".

Is it crucial in the sense that no chick will sleep with you with your tiny 5" dick? Not in any way.

Will she feel you like the dude with proper size? Will you make her come as easily as intensely? Will she enjoy playing with your dick in the same way? Nope. Women are vapid creatures, do you really need your life to be this deluded to think that they would intentionally stop caring about one thing that actually makes men insecure as fuck?

>>25863865
>>25863947
You sound like a faggy idiot.
>there are some women out there who only fuck 17-18 year olds
You could probably count the amount of women that only seek these kind of boys on one hand. Okay maybe there is less than 100 girls like this in the world.

As previous anons said, girls like tall men 99.999% prefer taller men. And women do like bigger dicks. If you are under 5 inches they will notice. Realistically though they want you to be 6 inches at least.

>>25862183
Black Russian please Barkeeper.

Current feels:

>feeling like the axe is going to drop on my neck work. Not that it should, but I got fired from my last job and that fucked my confidence. Still on probation period at new job.
>frustration at myself, find it hard to control my aspie tendencies a lot of the time
>tfw no gf to cuddle and hold me to her chest

>>25863982
Like I said, in my experience, the only thing having a relatively large penis has ever really done for me is make a women sore as fuck for a few hours during/after sex because we didn't bother to engage in enough foreplay.

We'll just have to agree to disagree, since I very much doubt barkeep wants a fight here in his pleasant thread.

God bless lube, though. Fucking greatest invention mankind has ever come up with.

>>25864037
>the only thing having a relatively large penis has ever really done for me is make a women sore as fuck for a few hours

>in his previous post he says this
>>25863865
>Anyone who brings the size of their cock into the equation unasked is suffering from some self-esteem issues

Nobody asked about your size fag. Who's the insecure one now?

>>25864032
Sure thing, extra ice cubes for you anon.

I miss cuddling more than sex, I know that feel.

>>25864077
The whole conversation was focused around cock size (and anecdotal evidence).
But touche.

>>25864084
Thanks Barkeep. Glad I'm not the only one. My ex was hot but it's not the sex I miss so much... she was just an amazing cuddler.

I'll have a southern comfort please, no I'm not a faggot

Feeling like I should just stay right out of everyone's business, like I'm the weakest link and shit.

>tfw was previously the chaddest of chaddest.
>tfw ex-gf made you tear your own confidence down to nothing.
Only thing on my mind, been going round and round for months, apologies I don't have anything intriguing.

>>25864203
Never feel like that, man.
You're the product of a few dozen million years of evolution. Most of what popped up in that time was pretty badass, but it got wiped the fuck out.
You know what didn't?
Everything that's come together to create you. You're literally the culmination of some of the most badass creatures ever to walk the face of this planet. Right there, at the end of a long line of seriously fucking cool bastards, is you.
Even if you don't feel like it right now, you're millions of years of awesome compacted into one body and you can do whatever the fuck you want if you put your mind to it.

>>25863662
I'm not on meds, sir. Your advice is still needed

>>25864249
Perhaps I am where everything halts, I'm the guy that's going to turn my kids into criminals and the cycle just goes down the line til my bloodline dries up. One day I'll fuck up big time, but damn if I'm not going to try stop it, thank you anon.

well i just passed out for 2 hours and its now 5:30am. back to drinking

>>25864278
I'm not barkeep, but my advice is definitely to talk to your parents.
I appreciate that it's going to be tough especially as your relationship with them sounds strained as it is, but at least talk to them.

I will say that I've started a new life more than a few times myself. I'm 26 years old; I've moved country once, lived in something like 23 different houses over about 5 cities (and more than a few rural locations, too). I've fucked up one college degree, and I did fairly poorly at my second one.
It's not easy. I've been depressed in my life before, too. I've had a therapist, and I probably need another one, now.

That said, though. I've managed it; I've made friends everywhere I've gone, even if it took some time, and there are going to be therapists around. I have a good, well-paying job. Up until recently I was dating someone. And I'm a borderline alcoholic autist with a tendency to abuse drugs on occasion.
You? You sound like you're probably far more capable and responsible than me. No matter what happens to you, I have unshakeable faith in you that you'll make it work, and that'll you'll survive, flourish, and be happy, even if it sounds impossible right now.

>>25862183
*slumps down in seat, half awake, head looking downwards avoiding any eye contact*

An irish coffee please..

*bartender nods and the smell of brewing coffee wafts over a few moments later, while we wait he asks how i'm doing*

oh, my feels? well.. i just woke up, as usual its a day i can't be bothered with. so im on r9k, watching youtube philosophy videos about the suffering in life. this morning i'm thinking just what a slave i am. i wake up and i have two options really.. one is i can strive and struggle to fill the day with events or work or something just so i don't feel as bad, or i can say fuck it and just let in the bad feels and mope, but either way is a loss. im like a perpetual slave only driven to avoid the whip of suffering, i'll pile pyramid bricks up high and break my back doing it, just to avoid the whip, but the pyramid i'm building.. it has no purpose at all, so why am i being whipped to make it? hardly seems fair. sorry, i'm rambling, thanks for the coffee..

*bartender slides the coffee over and walks over to the next customer without a hint of acknowledgement, but without disdain either*

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>scrolling fb feed
>a bunch of girls i know got a spa and 3 guys and were huddled together in it
>went green with envy
>want to hang myself
>yesterday spent week with grandma bored out of my mind

does anyone have any baked beans?

>>25864416
cont.
>got invited to event in town by one of said girls
>nervous as fuck about going
>no confidence

>>25864416
while its hard to spot, this is whats called a trigger. you notice them, and you stop doing this shit. so basically stop going on facebook. writing a journal regularly can help you reflect and find these things because they're hard to recognize without practice.. and even harder to cut out.

>>25864436
again. recognize how you feel and act. its your call but i personally just avoid any event where i think i'll have a bad time or feel anxious. nowdays i tend to think that if i feel anxious around people its just because i don't fit in with or understand them (ie: they're the wrong people for me), so i dont bother.. i forced myself to do too much shit and it never helped

>>25864436
Fake it. Have a beer before going there, just one though. It will make you chatty but not obnoxious.

>>25864477
>show up smelling like beer, it will go well I promise!

dude no

>>25864436
shoot some liquor up your butthole with a turkey baster. it will get you a bit drunk without having any alcohol on your breath

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Recently departed my job that paid halfway-decently because of assholes in charge, and because I felt a mighty need to find greener pastures. It was a weird leave.

I"ve also got only online classes starting this week and I'm halfway scared shitless over doing well in them. Also hoping credits carry over so I can get an Associates in Criminal Justice and eventually start my career as a police officer.

All the while my girlfriend is slowly losing her cool because of stress with her knitting (Undertale sweaters, while profitable, are apparently really tiresome to make) and all I wanna do is get her out of her house with her insane mother into a place of our own, but
>tfw no cash

You know how an earthquake happens? The two plates scrape against eachother and when a big movement happens that's the quake? I feel like the moment of high-tension right before the quake, and I've felt like that for 6 months now.

>>25864514
>smelling like beer

Have one small beer you fucking twat. Brush your teeth after.

>>25864581
How long have you guys been dating?
I moved my ex into my place, and I would hesitate to recommend that choice to anyone without warning that you should really, seriously think about it.

>>25864593
>brushing your teeth changes the contents of your stomach

alcohol doesn't work that way you dumb fuck. jesus christ what are you, 12?

>>25864604
We've been dating for 2 and a half years now. Her religious morals prevent her from moving in before marriage, so we're both just gonna kinda wing it together.

I mean, she's basically already moved in so idk.

>>25864615
Unless you shit all over that chick I doubt she can smell the contents of your stomach.

>robot kissless virgin trying to convince me how things work

top kek mate

>>25864621
>We've been dating for 2 and a half years now. Her religious morals prevent her from moving in before marriage, so we're both just gonna kinda wing it together.

Don't wanna sound like a cunt but that's a massive red flag dude.

>>25864621
Trial it where you're living now. Is it with family?
Ask if she can stay for two or three months while you try and save up for a place.

>>25864632
dude you'll burp it back up occasionally and it will seep through your pores you'll smell like beer and she'll know it

>>25864647
I have been pushing down that red flag for a very, -very-, long time. If it snaps me in the face, it's my fault.

>>25864659
House is too small, just me and my dad chilling in "the bachelor pad". No real room for her to sleep/have her own space.

>>25862757
It's not kylo ren retard

>>25864679
Have you at least went together for a vacation or something like that where you spent at least ten days together?

You really don't know if someone clicks with you until you test out living together like that.

>>25864723
Ten days no, but we've gone on separate vacations that've added up to around a month. Only time a problem occurred was when she was overwhelmed by crowds of people, she doesn't do well with that.

Or, admittedly, when I got annoying when I was hungry. I get that way.

>>25862183
Had a pitcher of beer, a corona, a liquid marijuana and some smirnoff based vodka drink in the last hour and I'm sobering up fast. what should I drink to remedy this problem?

>>25862473
Go away, emperor's pet. What you seek, find here you will not.

I hate my uncle in law so much. I wish I could just drop kick his dumb ass. Dealing with narcissists is so tired and it's hard to resist the temptation to put him in his damn place.

Just give me soda is fine.

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Let me get a Irish coffee it's early
>tfw no artistic cute quirky girl to sit around and do absolutely nothing with before she falls asleep on you
It hurts, why am I rereading this

>On the beach
>Lots and lots of qts
>They remind me that I will never manage to even touch one of them

Give me something strong. Just fuck my shit up senpai

>>25862183
mfw I was with a girlfriend for 9 months, and we never tried sex, because she wasnt ready.

>>25866666
nice q(uin)ts
parentheses are not original :(

Ey senpai, just a shot of Bailey's please.

Quiet night over here. Nothing of any particular interest going on.

I would like a pint glass, 50/50 gin & sprite.

No inheritance to expect, have to start from zero, fine, I've got my health and I got a job 300 miles from where I grew up. Never even been to the town and don't know anybody there, mostly old people living there, the young flee. I feel like I will end up a loner , getting depressed again after a few months there. I feel I have nowhere else to go if this fails.

>>25862183
Give me 3 or 4 shots of 151.

I'm about a month out of college, I've gone on 5 interviews, no jobs.

They all want somebody with more experience, and can do everything on the fucking planet. "Do you have a year's worth of experience with Google Analytics?" "Do you have experience dealing with 10 clients at once?"

I'm fresh out of school with just internship experience, how the fuck am I supposed to use things that a regular consumer can't even pirate and use?

I had 3 internships in college, most of them while I was in school as well. I won a writing award for an essay I wrote about China's hacking of US companies, and made Dean's List; not enough.

Just a ginger ale if you've got any. Just got done shaking off the DT's in time for school to start. Hopefully I'm done for good.

>>25864416
I bet time spent with your grandma's a hell of a lot more fulfilling than a day at a spa with girls who post pictures on Facebook of themselves at a spa. Can you imagine the conversation?

I'll have a beer

a girl that i've been chasing for weeks is fucking with my head, she finally showed me some affection during the weekend but called off our date tonight for no reason

Rum and coke.

I lost my job also lost the one I love to another dude. Can't blame me. I'm just an orbiter who would've done everything for her. Why is there no delete a person from your life option?

I'll have a shot of vodka.

Everyday I have the realization that it won't make a difference.

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Somehow I realized I never had actual interest in relationships with women, was frequently asked why don't I have GF and couldn't really give a meaningful answer, I'm also very uncomfortable in any group with girls, the whole idea of dating seems really strange for me. Can't jerk off more than 1 per a week. Feels pretty odd for me.

Gf is moving away from me, not her decision but i cant go with her. Im dying inside. I live in the US and shes going to Germany. We are trying to make long distance work, but she will be gome for at least 3 years. She is the only girl i have ever loved. Does anybody have any long distance relationship stories. Does it work?

>>25869762
I've done it, not worth it.

Someone will eventually cheat on each other. Don't do it, trust me. It physically hurts if you try it. You wonder if she's fucking another guy, or if she's enjoying life without you.

It's mentally draining and just not worth it.

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>>25862183

Hey barkeep I'll take a bit pitcher of your cheapest, strongest, nastiest drink; a glass of red; and a gold tequila. You may as well have my wallet and just open a huge tab.

Just got the message from this girl I've been seeing on my study abroad year, after I poured my heart out to her that she just wants to be friends. I'm devastated internally. We've only been seeing each other a few months but it feels like worse than when me and my ex of over 3 years split. But she also said that she is free next weekend although I have no idea in what context that applies. Shall I try and be friends? Maybe just fuck buddies or shall I just cut the cord and try to move on? Just in my head it's a shame as I genuinely saw us working.

But fucking enough about me barkeep, seriously how the fuck have you been today, you beautiful slav?

OP is back. Sorry, went for a few pints with a friend after work. Had 3 to be precise, and I have 4 more in my fridge but I am gonna try my best not to drink them.

>>25870043
Yeah, sometime people just click right from the get go. Or you just need it to click and then you get devastated when it doesn't work. I can relate a bit.
I'm okay, thanks for asking. Just got home from a pub, talked with a good friend, it wasn't the worst way to kill an afternoon. Now that I got home and I am alone in my two bedroom apartment and all lights are out except my small desk lamp here, I feel lonely as fuck and wish I had a gf who would come to the doors, open them, and tease me with some nice underwear to go to the bedroom to cuddle with her... Fuck I need a gf too. Barkeeps aren't impervious. But still - can't complain too much, a lot of people in this thread honestly have it worse than I do, it would seem hypocritical.

>>25869422
>>25868889
>>25867864
Apologies for being late - drinks on the house lads.

Irish cream please.
I've become obbsessed with another piece of media again. This one is getting particularly bad, I've lost sleep over it and have yelled at myself in my car cause it's the only thing to go through my mind. I get this empty feeling when I think about it, as if I want to express my love for the thing more but I don't do shit. I cringe hard when I try to draw so that's out the window, and any other ways to express it don't seem like it will suffice. I'm eating myself up over something so stupid.

>tfw obssesive thougts