I want to hear about the time you did something really fucking

>finish unloading my seed into my hired gf
>she goes to kiss me
>i hug her instead.

i think i kissed her when i came back to see her tho

>>25858758
>be junior year
>playing homemade D&D during lunch
>"he's gonna roll a 05"
>1 in 100 chance
>not even the best roll
>still called it
>suddenly get the urge to throw my arms into the air and scream "CALLED IT"
>decide this wasn't far enough
>begin chanting "CALLED IT" before running out of the classroom
>chanting "CALLED IT" while running around campus, hoping people would then say it
>lol what'd you call anon?
>..."I CALLED IT."
>nothing happened
>go back to classroom
>none of my friends know what happened
>none of my classmates know what happened
>"lol anon why'd you do that damn"

>playing outside at grandmas
>have to pee
>decide to pee in the middle of the street
>afraid the neighbors across the street will see my peeepee
>so I lay down with my peepee against the curb on the neighbor's side of the road so they can't see it
>pee

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bought this much lottery tickets

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>be 16
>go to disneyland/california adventure with girl
>we're on the ferris wheel
>I fucking hate ferris wheels
>to make things worse, this is also on tracks so it swings around even more while rotating around the whole thing (see link if you can't picture it https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mickey%27s_Fun_Wheel)
>car starts swinging around wildly
>girl grabs onto me and starts squeezing tight
>all I can think to say is "don't break my arm"
>not anything suave or comforting
>just don't break my arm
>find out a year later she liked me

fucking hell mate

>>25860285
I'm sorry you didn't win anon. I hope you win next time.

>>25858758
This one time I forgot my lines in a spectacle infront of the entire fucking school.

It was some super retarded line and to add to that my fucking costume fell apart right when I got to that line. So when I was trying to hold on to my cape my mind got blank. I quietly asked another guy who was close to me in the play if he remember my lines but ofc he didn't know shit. So I just stood there like a retard for some solid 30 seconds I think before I just skipped that lnie and went on.

I was fucking 18 then.

>>25860596
Oh and when I was like 7 or 8 I forgot my lines in yet another school play. But this time I only had one single fucking word.

One. fucking. word.

People joked to me "you better right it down on your hand anon" but that's literally what I should've done.

>>25860634
Write* not right.

reddit bait cancer

Some guys at school were peeing in bottles for shits and giggles, for some retarded reason I thought that drinking my own bottle of piss would cause even more shits and giggles, but it caused cringe and bullying instead
:^(

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>>25860367
Every SoCal robot has a horrible Disney story. I'll do mine and go to bed.

>me and best friend
>invite two girls from class for double date
>mine arrives late, so on two person rides by myself
>almost fall out of the Matterhorn like five times
>date shows up
>we go to the haunted mansion
>remember a funny joke my mom did
>when the ghost sits in your booth with you she kissed it on the cheek
>when I did it, my date veered her head away so fast she hit the side with an audible thump
>a thump I can hear to this day

>>25860596
I did this except it was someone else's line, I had a tiny little part and they kind of improv'd over the fact they didn't quite know my cue. Keep in mind she's off by like one word. I would not let the play go on until she said my line, I was like mouthing it to her.

Afterwards my family did that thing where they tried to compliment me even though my short part was ruined by this public display of autism.
>you knew her lines even better than she did!

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>be 14
>in karate class
>didn't go pee before class
>have to pee really bad like 30 minutes in
>ex-friend making me laugh with funny faces
>laughing loosens the juice a little
>need to concentrate, ignore ex-friend
>have to pause, mid-kata
>sensei walking around the room, adjusting everyone's posture
>looks at my posture
>i'm a pretty good kid, super dedicated and committed to karate
>sensei sees nothing to correct
>sensei gives me a smile and a wink
>his face makes me lose tension and laugh
>piss cascades down my leg like a racehorse
>niagara falls floods the floor
>people in class jump away like squirrels from the giant puddle forming under my feet
>ex-friend never let me live that down, told everyone at school
>never escaped the antagonizing until I left my home town
>10 years ago
>still think about it once in a while
>tfw no one in my life who matters knows about it

Funny faces make me laugh.. am I autist?

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>Be at a concert.
>See girl I've been pursuing for lo these many months.
>Still in the friendzone with her, but I'm trying desperately to get out.
>Walk up to her ".... Hey...."
>Hit her in the arm...
>I literally slugged her in the arm like the awkward way someone might hit someone on the arm and be like "oh you're such a kidder."
>Gif related
>Immediately realize my mistake.
>Regret. regret. regret.
>Screaming on the inside. Want to die. Vision narrows and blurs. Her friend standing next to her is nothing but a distant apparition.
>I can't let it fall apart now.
>Stay and try to force conversation.
>She is visibly uncomfortable.
>Conversation dies. No one speaks.
>I can't leave. Leaving is admitting defeat.
>We're both standing there, staring at the stage where nothing of particular importance is happening.
>Something in me breaks. I have lost all control.
>I tell her to enjoy the show and leave.
>I slug her lightly in the arm AGAIN.
>Gif still related.
>I'm having an out of body experience.
>My body is acting without my consent, I am not in control, life is a simulation, I am not real, consciousness is a lie.
>Never before has so much shame been felt by so few.
>Disappear into crowd.
>Lurk in the back where I can see everyone so I don't bump into her again.
>Blame it on alcohol when I get home.
>I was under age and the only place to get a drink was at the in-house bar.

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>Be in first year of college.
>Scared and autistic.
>Good guy roommate reaches out to me and invites me to do things with him and his friends.
>We go to a hockey game.
>Me, him, his GF, and this other girl all end up being there.
>I'm sitting next to girl.
>Game is intense, everyone is standing and cheering.
>We score a goal, place goes wild.
>Girl grabs my arm and kinda hugs/squeezes it. Says how exciting this is.
>I freeze.
>I don't move, turn my head, or say anything.
>She lets go. Apologizes.
>At the intermission changes seats and goes to sit by my roomies GF

bumpass paradise
that's all she wants.

>>25860991
>6 y/o
>karate class, first week not even a white belt
>everyone has to kick and make a yelling noise
>execute the kick perfectly but refuse to make the noise
>instructor calls me out in front of everyone
>asks me to make the noise while I do the kick
>start crying
>never go back
I would react the same way today, 14 years later. Being quiet hurts.

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>>25860991
Same thing happened to me in the 2nd grade except it was like one tiny droplet. The chimp teacher freaked out and was like, 'HOW THE FUCK IS THERE FUCKING WATER ON MY FUCKING GOD DAMN 2ND GRADE CLASSROOM I NEED A FUCKING NEWPORT'. Some 6-7billion shekkel kid walks over, straight licks the drop of my golden shower off the ground and I shit you not says, 'it tastes like iced tea'.

gg gn.